Countdown: 3

Hello! I'm in a rather good mood today, as I managed to get 7 chapters of my outline done in a single day! That was for 'Asylum of the Damned' by the way ;p It's coming along rather well... but I hit a slight block in chapter 10. I'm sure I'll push my way through it =) I'm just glad I got that much done in a day XD I'm up to chapter 35 of my other book, the second in my trilogy. Unfortunately, I've only had one person read the first book over and I'm still at a loss for a title T^T That might be a much larger block than my other one *sighs* I wish I could find someone with time to look it over properly. Anyway, I bet you guys are excited I finished that much of my fanfic/book outline! That means I'll get to write it faster ;p

Shiro & Ichi: I don't want you to write it! *twin pouts*

Grimm: ... Whoa, do that again! You guys are like surround sound! XD

Vae: Why don't you want me to write it?

Shiro: I'm a prisoner!

Ichi: I'm a girl!

Grimm: I'm suddenly looking forward to it =3

Vae: *sighs* Just read the update.

Chapter 21

Grimmjow stretches and yawns, enjoying the morning sunlight warming his back. He stops at the thought, immediately looking next to him. Ichigo is gone. Shrugging off his uncertainty, Grimmjow gets up and starts his search. He can't find his lover anywhere, but Ichigo left him a note on the fridge. He thanks the orange head mentally, reaching for the sheet of paper and leaning on the counter as he reads it. His heart immediately drops into his stomach.

Grimmjow,

I'm sorry, but I needed time for myself. My life, though not perfect, was still controlled before you came along. I realize you're trying very hard to make me happy and make this work, but I just can't do it. I love you so much, I really do. But it's obvious there's a part of me you love far more than any other. I can't stand to see the disappointment in your eyes when I'm not dressed up for you, but most of all… I'm scared of becoming what I was before. I know you don't know what I'm talking about, you didn't really pay much attention to me before Byakuya set up that contract, but if you had you would understand. I'll stay married to you as per the agreement, so you don't have to worry about your fans. Just tell everyone I'm off with Uryu at a fashion show, or visiting friends elsewhere. Don't worry about me; I have a place I liked to go in high school when I felt down. I'll be there. I'm sorry I ruined your life; you won't have to worry about that anymore.

Goodbye,

Ichigo

The paper falls from Grimmjow's hand, his lips parted as he stares ahead blankly. His wife, the only person he's ever liked enough to care about, has disappeared. Ichigo's condition can harm him if he's not watched over, anyone could hurt him if they find out who he's married to, and Grimmjow can't help him if his wife isn't with him. After last night, there's no way he can't worry. His first thought is to call Byakuya… but fear slams into him harder than any fist, so he settles with Ulquiorra.

"Yes, Grimmjow?" the raven sighs upon answering the phone.

"Ichigo's gone!" he panics.

"Again?" Ulquiorra inquires in exasperation. "Do you have any idea where he went to this time?"

"Well… sort of. He left a note, but… it doesn't say anything about coming back."

"Did he leave anything behind?"

Grimmjow stops at that, smacking his forehead with a grumble before heading back to the bedroom. He searches the dresser and closet, finding a couple bags gone and enough clothes to pack them. The guest room is missing sketch pads and pencils, a packet of designs missing from its place on the desk, and Ichigo's bathroom box is gone as well. He must've woke up before sunrise to clear out without Grimmjow waking. He's taken enough to survive on; including his wallet… but he left his house key on the counter.

"… He's not coming back," Grimmjow murmurs sadly. "He said he's not looking for a divorce or anything, because of the agreement with Byakuya… but he's afraid he'll revert back to whatever he was before I showed up. He said he loved me, but couldn't take the disappointment in my eyes when he doesn't dress up. He apologized for ruining my life."

"Sounds like he has a lot of self-loathing to deal with. If he loves you, it would stand to reason he would stay with you… he's punishing himself. Refusing to allow happiness for some reason, denying himself the one person that makes him feel safe and happy."

"Because of his parents," Grimmjow comments. "He blames himself for their murders. He said I didn't pay any attention to him before the agreement… did I know him before? I mean… was he at the ring or the gym, someplace I could overlook him? And I want to find out where he liked to hide out in high school, that's where he said he'd be."

"Grimmjow… you may never find him. You know that, right?"

"Please don't tell me that."

Ulquiorra keeps silent a moment, catching the tone of distress and hint of desperation within that voice he knows so well. He never thought it possible, but Grimmjow is truly in love with the fierce orange head. With a deep sigh, he promises to be over in just a moment and hangs up. Grimmjow falls back to sit on the couch, hanging his head as he fights back tears he thought he'd never shed.

"What am I supposed to do now?" he questions. "I loved him… I still love him. Why did he have to leave after I told him that? Doesn't he know how hard it was for me to say those three words?"

Ulquiorra shows up around fifteen minutes later, letting himself in to see Grimmjow still on the couch in his boxers. Usually he wouldn't bother with even that, but when Ichigo came he pulled some on in the morning so the other wouldn't die of embarrassment. The raven sits on the armchair near his friend.

"Grimmjow, are you okay?"

"… So many people that I can't keep away from me, but the one I want I can't keep with me," he sighs out. "How ironic is that?"

"You knew in the beginning he had baggage, Grimmjow."

"We were doing so good until yesterday…"

"What happened yesterday?"

Grimmjow is surprised Ulquiorra hasn't heard yet, however he relays the incident at the gym to the best of his ability. He didn't see much, just Ichigo swinging at some random guy. Lilinette saw the most, but she has a horrible tendency to exaggerate. The way she spoke it was like Ichigo was a seasoned fighter that could take out Grimmjow. He could believe it if Ichigo had succumbed to Shiro, but there's no way his mild-mannered wife could fight like that.

"Did you figure anything out?" Grimmjow wonders quietly.

"No, I'll have to ask around," the raven sighs. "I'm really sorry, Grimmjow, but it's apparent his problems were more serious than he let on."

"I can't find him dead, Ulquiorra," the other frowns. "I can't go through that again and certainly not with him…"

"Be more positive, Grimmjow, I'm sure he'll be fine. He's gotten along this long without you, he can figure things out. I'm more worried that Lily has gotten attached to him in such a short time. What are you going to tell her?"

"That he went to Paris for a fashion show," the blue haired man remarks sullenly. "Do me a favor… cancel my fight tonight? I can't concentrate like this; I'm too worried about him. There are so many things that could happen, so many ways he could get hurt…"

"I'll see to it. Try not to fall apart; you can't help him if you can't even help yourself."

Grimmjow nods, though he gives no indication of caring. After Ulquiorra leaves to gather information, the fighter stands to get ready for the day. He looks around the house, pain flooding his heart at the silence he hasn't suffered since Ichigo moved in. Everything reminds him of his wife. He grabs his cell phone and calls up his 'Kitten', praying Ichigo will at least answer the phone. It keeps ringing, the blue haired man hanging up and calling again. He's beginning to fear the other won't answer.

"Pussy cat?"

"… Shiro?" he utters in surprise. "Did you leave that note? You son of a bitch! That wasn't funny! Bring Ichigo back home!"

"I didn' leave that note," Shiro scoffs. "Ichi's havin' a breakdown. I'm trying ta talk 'im inta goin' back, but he's bein' a prick. Thinks he's gonna go back ta before… not that that's a bad thing. There was nothin' wrong wit him then."

"Where are you? I'm coming to get him."

"It don' work that way, pussy cat. What ya gotta do is figure it out on yer own. If ya do that, ya'll know more 'bout Ichi and it'll give 'im time ta cool off. Ya both need ta figure all this out… I can' do it fer ya forever, ya know."

Before Grimmjow can question him, the other hangs up and he's left with the dial tone. The blue haired male looks at the phone a moment, hanging it up and dragging his feet to the bedroom. He wants to beat the shit out of someone… but at the same time, it really doesn't seem to matter. He just wants Ichigo back; to hold him in his arms again and never let him go.

Ichigo wakes on the cot, looking around a rundown and stained room. The wallpaper is curling, the carpet holding something that looks oddly like a blood stain on it, and the ceiling is marked with water. The window is broken, the door hanging on its hinges, but this is Ichigo's safe place. This is where he would run away to when things became too much for him.

"I really wish you would find somewhere nicer to hole up in," Byakuya sighs from the doorway. "This neighborhood is dangerous and this place should be condemned."

"I like it here," Ichigo shrugs. "Besides, I can handle myself."

Byakuya moves to sit with Ichigo, his clothes a pair of jeans tore at the knee and a black tee shirt. His hair is pulled back into a low ponytail. Ichigo rarely sees him dressed like this, but the man has a talent of blending in most people envy him for.

"Why aren't you with Grimmjow?"

"… I'm ruining his life," Ichigo murmurs with an immediate sadness. "He deserves someone better than me."

"Ichigo, he canceled his fight tonight," the raven remarks. "Ulquiorra was in my office asking about you this morning, he said Grimmjow hasn't even changed out of his boxers. He's just moping around the house whining about how he can't keep the one person he wants with him."

"I can't," Ichigo whispers. "I can't do it anymore. I love him, nii-sama, but I don't deserve to be happy. I'll just end up getting him hurt as well. I couldn't live with myself if that happened."

"He can't live with himself now."

Ichigo hangs his head, uncertain of what to do next. Shiro wants him to go back to Grimmjow, Byakuya wants him back with the other… even Ichigo wants to go back. He just can't bring himself to allow it though. For once, Ichigo is going to do what he feels he needs to do for himself. Unfortunately for him, what he thinks he needs is the opposite of what he really needs.

Grimmjow gazes upon those at the old gym on the rough streets, stepping slowly through it and watching those around him. A young woman with raven hair spars with a redheaded man, the two he knows as Rukia and Renji. Grimmjow frequented this gym in high school, but stopped coming around his second year fighting for the big time. He cautiously approaches the two, praying the petite female doesn't blame him for Ichigo's absence… especially after witnessing her take down Renji in a brutal display he's lucky to survive.

"Rukia?" Grimmjow remarks while keeping his distance.

"Hey, Grimmjow!" she grins widely. "What brings you here? As I remember, you like the fancy gym. You haven't been here in years!"

"I was… I need to talk to you and Renji."

She tilts her head curiously, wiping sweat from her brow before retrieving a towel. Renji beats her to it, handing hers over and drying his tattooed face with his. The three sit on a nearby bench, watching those training through the gym. It isn't hard to see that something is wrong, Grimmjow seems listless and downtrodden.

"I heard a rumor you aren't fighting tonight," Renji speaks up.

"Damn… news travels fast on the rough streets," Grimmjow mumbles. "I'd forgotten about that."

"Do you really think being married to Ichigo is good for your fighting career?" the small raven wonders. "I mean, since you got married, you've cancelled two out of three fights. It would seem that he's been too much of a distraction…"

"Did you tell him that?" Grimmjow snaps.

The two are startled at the outburst, both jumping a bit before sending each other quizzical looks. Rukia straddles the bench, arms crossing over her flat chest and a wicked expression of warning quickly taking over her features. Renji scoots away smartly, unwilling to take more than a beating that he gets in a sparring match.

"No," she states. "What the hell did you do to piss off my little brother?"

"Nothing! I swear, I didn't do anything to him. He left me a note this morning and took off. Apparently, he thinks he's ruining my life or something. At least, that's what he said in the note. I tried to call him; Shiro was the only one that would answer. He told me to learn more about Ichigo's past, and then I'd be able to get him back easier."

"So… what are you doing here?" Renji inquires.

"I remember him from high school, but… he had mentioned I never paid attention to him before Byakuya set us up," Grimmjow muses aloud. "Did our paths cross between high school and now?"

Rukia and Renji look to one another, both busting into laughter at the innocent question. Rukia would always tease Ichigo about his dreamy state whenever Grimmjow was in the vicinity. Renji… well… he would take the chance to land low blows when he sparred against the orange head. What can he say, he wanted to win and Ichigo was impossible to beat. After they force themselves to calm, the two stifle leftover snickers and try to answer an indignant Grimmjow.

"You never were very observant, Grimmjow," Renji laughs. "Even when you fought Ichigo constantly, you never figured he was a guy or even got his name!"

"Shut the hell up and answer the fucking question!"

"Grimmjow, Ichigo trained here every day," Rukia sighs. "You passed him up constantly, overlooked him weekly, and fought him at least twice in the ring. Ichigo was a very secretive person when it came to fighting; he hated the need he felt to beat up on others."

"Ichigo wore an outfit that covered his face when fighting," the redhead informs. "He wrapped his torso with bindings, his right arm, and the lower half of his face. He didn't use his name either, but made up a different one. I think it was 'Mugetsu'. I'm not sure; it was a few years ago that he stopped fighting."

"I remember that guy! He was a fucking wild animal in the ring," Grimmjow grins feral. "Got me harder than I'd ever been in my life! There's no way that was Ichigo, though, he's too sweet for that."

Rukia stares at the other, sighing and shaking her head at his denial. Grimmjow really doesn't know the man he claims to be in love with. For only a moment, she considers leaving him high and dry… but Ichigo is very happy with this man and he deserves to be happy.

"There's a lot you don't know about Ichigo," Renji provides. "Before he went through that damn therapy, he was the king of the ring. No one could take him down. He could walk through the streets at midnight and the thugs would high tail it the fuck away from him. He's sweet because you're sweet to him, but if you piss him off… heaven help you."

"That's right, Grimmjow," Rukia adds. "Ichigo has always rewarded positivity and punished negativities, but after he went through therapy… well… he became a completely different person. I wish we had talked him out of going… I miss the brother I grew up with."

"Since you've been with him, he's been coming back to us!" the redhead grins. "Then again… maybe that's what he's running away from."

Grimmjow frowns and thinks back to those brief fights, they usually ended with him on the ground. Both of them were exhausted and neither could stand easily, but he had still lost. He never really saw the man with black hair in the gym, never caught him training, so it's no wonder he didn't pay attention to them. Grimmjow growls inwardly… his wife is a master of disguise! Why couldn't Ichigo be a master at cooking, or painting, or writing? Why a master of disguise? He'll never find him with a talent like that! Rukia and Renji watch the hope in the other's cyan eyes fizzle out, his head hanging once again as Ichigo steps just a little more out of reach. The orange head has always been hard to find unless he wants to be found, even Rukia and Renji don't know where he runs off to. The petite raven is positive Byakuya knows, but he's not telling. Grimmjow will have to find Ichigo on his own.

Lmao! Ichi's on the run! XD Go, Grimm, go! Track him down! A shame he isn't part animal in this fic, right? Then he'd be able to track down Ichi in seconds! XD And this is not the last thing to happen between them, nor is it the drama that happens to be the solution! You'll just have to wait for that ;p Well, I have things to do. I'm hoping to take care of a few more chapters of both my books today, but I have to do that before the tv gets turned on... the silence never lasts very long here and I can't concentrate without music. I also can't play music with the tv on T^T Anyway, I'm off!

Ichi: Hey, Shiro... how'd that scavenger hunt go?

Shiro: Horrible! I fell inta a thousands traps an' Gin wasn' tied up anymore when I found him! He kicked my ass and then owned it! DX

Vae: Awe, I'm so sorry, Shiro. Here's another =) Gin won't get out of chains.

Shiro: *grabs paper eagerly* See ya! XD

Grimm: You chained Gin up?

Vae: No.

Ichi: But... you said he won't get out of chains.

Vae: He won't, but I didn't say I used them on him ;p

Ichi: Traps again?

Vae: Alrye's on it ;p Shiro should be busy until the end of the fic.

Grimm: You really don't want him here for the last few chapters, do you?

Vae: I care so much for him, I don't want him present when I punish him. =)

Ichi: More like you care so much for your health and safety.

Vae: Can't argue with that ;p