AN: The story Helena refers to briefly is from Huntington's Bride. The authors have obtained permission from her to use some elements of her story in theirs.
Chapter 21
It was an epiphany, a revelation. Helena didn't sleep as she lay in her hotel bed, the noise from her thoughts impossible to silence. Thoughts of Miranda, of her touch and of the moment they shared in that same bed flowed through her mind like sparks on a log fire. It was impossible to forget yet, Helena also found herself thinking about Vasir.
The spectre's appearance in the game had been brief and – right from the start – she had obviously not been what she appeared, her treachery so clearly written in her actions and features. Helena had seen more of the spectre in a story that she read, but it had shown her the character's potential. Vasir might have been an agent of the Shadow Broker but the Shadow Broker wasn't necessarily the enemy. In the first game, the Broker had helped Shepard. He had been set up as a villain because he held Feron captive, but Helena and her dissociated way of looking at the world couldn't help but wonder if the drell hadn't deserved it. She knew that she would not take kindly to betrayal and the galaxy still had a very 'eye for an eye' attitude. Her Jane Shepard had never approved of Liara's but had aided her because she had grasped that it was the only way she might get her lover back on board the Normandy. But, her Shepard had known that at the end, Liara simply wanted revenge. Helena and her employer had not really spoken about the Shadow Broker again since that night that Liara accused her of being an agent, but Helena could see that the hunt was never far from her mind. The asari still handled most of the information regarding him on her own and held some meetings in secret. She filtered the softer work to Helena, but the ginger knew that at some point, the asari's obsession would flow through to her desk.
It was inevitable, because that was the way the game would progress.
Cerberus would give Liara some information regarding the Broker, which will prompt the yagh to send Vasir in to deal with Liara. Vasir was dangerous but the Spectre also believed in what she did. HB's character Abby had recognized that Vasir could change. That she could be convinced to join Shepard's cause if one gave her a good enough reason to. If one took the time to show her the truth.
Helena, who had long since given up trying to sleep, had started making notes on the hotel's complimentary memo pad. She had managed to integrate it with her omnitool which had made her pretty chuffed with herself. Apart from her integration lessons that she had been receiving with other indentured servants, Helena had also made friends with a young male quarian. His attendance of the course was simply a formality, because he was already quite tech savvy. He didn't say much about the reason he was in Illium, but Helena suspected it had something to do with hacking the company he now had to work for. He had been helping her in her classes and she kept thinking that she should meet him afterwards for a more private education. He had already helped her to make sure that her omnitool communications were private and that Liara had not installed some trojan listening or recording device on it. She was sure that he had many other skills as well, skills that she wanted.
It's about getting what you need and using it, she said to herself. It's about getting the right tools for the job.
Vasir, like Kasumi, could be such a tool.
For a brief, strange and unexpected moment, Helena wished that she could make calls across realities and get the other author on line and ask her about that trend, what she had thought when she wrote that. Of course, Helena then thought with a smile. The conversation would've been fairly short because HB rarely thought about what she was writing.
Helena remembered very little about Rinn's story's progression of events because it hadn't been fully developed by the time that they were taken, but she knew that a lot of time had passed between the collector's base and the Arrival because Rinn had wanted to set up the stage for Katelyn's indoctrination. Cerberus had given Shepard the information that led them to the Shadow Broker because Liara had used that information to find the locations of other reaper artefacts – artefacts the Illusive Man wanted the Normandy to retrieve
But, how long had they taken to reveal that information to Liara?
Can I stop them? Or, should I be the one to give it to her?
Helena got up again and moved around the room, rolling her shoulder, massaging her muscles, making another cup of coffee. She realised that her hands were shaking slightly and blamed it on all the adrenaline that she felt in her system. She had slipped Vasir's cigarettes into her pocket and considered lighting another one, but remembered that Liara had booked them two non-smoking rooms.
I should just toss them.
With all the questions in her mind, Helena knew that she actually only had one question to answer.
What do I think I can do?
It was difficult for Helena to explain exactly what was driving her, but she felt quite strongly that they were supposed to change Rinn's story. They had to, because she knew that if Katelyn turned completely, she would come for Helena with more vehemence than before. It was perhaps her singular biggest fear. She couldn't fear the reapers or the coming war. It would happen as it did. But, she feared Kate. She tried not to, but her mind turned to the woman's transformation at Huerta as often as it turned to the possibility of changing the future. The former had become the motivation for the latter.
She asked herself another question as she looked at the brightening sky outside, wondering whether the gods of the Citadel had decided that it was time for dawn.
What do I hope to achieve through all of this?
There were things that had to happen. Liara becoming the Shadow Broker, the Arrival had to occur to set the stage for the reapers and... what? She tried to think like Rinn and knew with a definitively sense of clarity that her friend would've changed the end as well. No star child, no multi-coloured cup cake ending.
Katelyn would get a happy resolution.
Helena grabbed her notepad and made a few notes on it, wondering how bringing Vasir over to their side might help. She suspected that, although it might be more complicated, the effect of it might be quite similar to that of Kasumi's integration into the story line. That individually, she didn't have a lot to bring to the table, but the sheer effect of changing something might begin to change elements of the plot. What Helena wanted to do was create a whole new story.
But is that possible?
Another thought turned her stomach to ice.
Did I sleep with Miranda simply because Rinn thought that we would make a good couple? The husk had said as much.
Anger at her own fear burned in her stomach.
I am not afraid of the husk or her words.
But, she did need advice and suddenly felt the burning urge to call Rinn. She looked at the clock and tried to work out what time it would be in Nos Astra. She cringed a little, considered changing her mind and then decided that it would not be the first time in her life that she called her friend awake.
It might even be like old times...
The machine fired at her relentlessly as she ran, leapt and dodged. Jachett's screaming followed her. She was doing everything wrong again. She wasn't fast enough, smart enough, aggressive enough, alien enough. He goaded her, taunted her, sneered at her, hardly pausing for breath. And, through it all, the chime of shell casings hitting concrete niggled at her – growing louder and louder and louder.
Wait… She frowned as her mind caught up to the sound. Falling bullet casings don't sound like that, do they?
Rinn's eyes snapped open and she shot up panting as if she truly had been racing through the obstacle course. She tried to suppress the curse rumbling within her as she accepted that she, once again, had endured a work-related dream. It may be a curse at times, but Rinn envied Helena her imagination. She envied her friend's capacity to disappear and dream of lives and worlds beyond the ones she lived in.
Well, at least you're not dreaming of filing and booking flights anymore.
She took a breath, hoping to still a needlessly racing heart, and realised the chiming hadn't stopped. Her eyes searched in the direction of the sound and noticed a flickering light on her work desk. Rinn stumbled out of her bed, tripping over her own feet. Her husk agility kicked in right before she had what would have been a delightful tumble. She half sat, half fell into her chair before pressing the acceptance key and grunted as the holographic image popped into existence - blinding her. Rinn rubbed at her eyes, then gave her hair a quick finger comb even though she knew it was too late. The figure on the screen had already seen her dishevelled state.
And clearly didn't care.
"What do you know about the Shadow Broker?" Helena demanded, her brown eyes piercing into Rinn through the screen. The latter blinked, pretty sure that these mouth sounds held some form of meaning and that she could make them too.
"Uhm," Rinn croaked and cleared her throat. She took a moment for the fog to clear and studied her friend. She didn't know what time it was on the Citadel, but Rinn got the feeling that Helena wasn't freshly rested as much as wired and overtired. Is it midnight? Does she still need to sleep? For a moment, she couldn't understand why Helena was looking at her expectantly, but then she remembered. Noises had been made.
A question had been asked.
Shadow Broker.
Rinn rubbed her face and sat thinking. Shadow Broker… Shadow Broker…
"Tali wanted to give him information about Saren through Fist," She spoke the first thing that came to mind. Never really understood the logic. "And there was a volus working for him in the Presidium… Barlo Von, I think."
Am I supposed to say these things out loud? Wasn't there spy stuff to worry about?
But Helena nodded encouraging, a smile tugging at her lips. "Anything else?" Then the ginger paused, seeming to remember something. "Good morning, by the way."
Oh yes. That.
"Hallo," she said lightly, then gave a half-smile as the image of Sandal from Dragon Age came to mind. Enchantment?
Rinn blinked at the quiet, realising that Helena was still watching her. Expectant. Like Jachett. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes again. Focus. "I had such weird dreams, sorry. Just let me think."
She took a breath. "No one knows who he is," she continued carefully. "Not even his agents – who are pretty much everywhere." What happened in ME2? Rinn remembered visiting Helena, the Mass Effect comic that stuffed into her hand by her friend. A comic having to do with Liara and Miranda and… "I know he wanted to give Shepard's body to the Collectors. And-"
And Liara's afraid that he's going to get you, the thought popped into her mind.
She stopped realising that she couldn't finish the sentence and also knowing that she couldn't leave it hanging either.
"He's not a very nice guy," she added lamely.
Again Lena nodded. "How integral was he to your story?"
Rinn's head was clearly slowly – just enough to realise that her friend had been leading her through this rehash like a teacher with a slow student, all so that the two could get to this moment. To this question. And as Rinn delved into her thoughts, pulling at the threads of information she had gathered from her story, she found… nothing. No thought, no memory. No Shadow Broker at all.
"I don't know," she said with soft surprise. "Or no… I… I don't remember. But that doesn't– They would have… have searched all avenues available to them to gather information, but… I don't remember…"
She felt the worry tug at her. Her strength had always been her memory. Helena had been the scientist – the puzzler and manipulator. The story teller. But Rinn had been the archivist – remaining true to her ISTJ personality type by harbouring her own vast mental encyclopaedia which was always ready to be thrown upon the moment need arrived.
There was a moment where she wanted to snarl in impotent rage at this world that had stolen her one true strength. But then she paused and realised with bitter clarity what it meant.
"Which means he was probably very important," she said softly. "What I don't know, won't hurt us. If I don't know anything, it stands to reason that knowing it could. Which means that he features."
Helena was thinking, a slight frown on her face as she evaluated the situation. Are you deciding how much you want to risk the husk knowing? Should you be having this conversation with me at all?
"I don't think you wrote it," she said finally. "Or, it wasn't part of the changed story. I just hoped..." She sighed and shrugged. "It's probably nothing. I didn't think it would be."
So why ask me if you've decided you already know? Rinn grumped, thinking that she would have liked staying in bed bed instead of being called just to be dismissed, insane Jachett exercises or no.
"Do you know anything about the Lair of the Shadow Broker?" Helena asked.
"Lair?" Rinn repeated, confused. In her mind's eye, she saw a top-down view of a tropical island, dominated by a volcanic mountain. Underneath, men in yellow suits excavated rooms and carried things in and out, hopping to attention the moment you clicked on them. And she saw a tall, slender woman, wearing a white fur coat, smoke drifting from a long ladies cigarette like her mother used to smoke… Why hello, Dah-ling…
Rinn snorted.
"Evil Genius, much? What is that?"
Rinn watched Helena's mouth drop open and then she seemed to recover. "It's uhm. It was a DLC," the other woman managed finally.
"Huh," Rinn murmured thoughtfully, wondering what made it so special to be completely deleted from her mind. "Well, based off the title, I suppose Shepard sorted him out then?"
"It was Shepard and Liara's reconciliation," Helena said and Rinn could see her friend disappear into memories. Clearly she was reliving her Shepard's story. Then she seemed to collect herself. "But… I guess that's hardly needed here. Your two seem quite close."
Rinn considered this with an absent nod. Katelyn and Liara were very close. She remembered how the pair had behaved when they had brought pizza Helena and Rinn's apartment. But they had never gone further than friendship. She remembered that Liara had spent the night before Ilos with Katelyn, but they hadn't slept together. The asari had had every intention of declaring her feelings, but she had found the commander so distracted, so tied up in events both current and past that she had decided to help unravel Katelyn's thoughts through speech, not action. Kate had later realised why Liara had come to her room that night, but hadn't had the opportunity to address the matter before she died.
And now? Why doesn't she?
"I don't know why they haven't gone beyond what they have now," Rinn admitted and felt… sad. Why had she as author denied Katelyn even that? Why had she left Katelyn so alone… and lonely?
"Maybe there was someone else," Helena suggested with a smile. A knowing smile. Is there something I have missed that you're keeping from me? One more thing?
"Maybe," Rinn said, trying to push her mind away from that instinctual annoyance. She hated being kept in the dark, but more so about things that there were no need to keep hidden. Stop it. You're just grumpy because it's morning. Don't find further reason behind it. She pulled her mind back to the discussion and considered the options. If there was one thing Rinn had hated about ME2, it was the shoddy selection of romantic interests for Femshep. Sure, one needed Shepard in a position of strength within her relationships, but that didn't mean the significant other had to be a weakling. She hadn't considered any of the males on the Normandy – with the exception of Joker, maybe – and as far for females, there weren't any as an option. Even Miranda is out now, Rinn tried not to snort. But then, there was Samara…
"I don't know," she said finally. "I'd have thought Samara might have been an option perhaps. She wasn't in the game, but she would have been a better choice than some of the others. But now with her gone?" Rinn shrugged, deciding it was pointless speculation.
And besides, now seems hardly the time to consider romance. Kate must be in such a state… Is that why she hasn't replied or…?
"How is Katelyn doing?" she asked. "Has Liara said anything?"
Would she?
"We haven't spoken," Helena replied and shifted her weight slightly. "I've ahm… seen little of Liara since coming here. I'm going to give Kate your present today." Her friend gave what might have been a nervous smile, but Rinn didn't pay attention to it. "I'll see for myself."
"She left you to your own devices?" Rinn stammered and then scolded her worry. Since when did Helena need anyone looking over her? If anything… "Now there is a disaster waiting to happen." Rinn made herself smile.
"Well, I didn't throw air quotes and the turian councillor when I saw him," Helena gave an embarrassed chuckle. "So, bonus for self-control."
"That is rather impressive. Well done," the hybrid conceded.
A quiet settled over them; that sense that the purpose of the call had been achieved. She studied her friend and wondered what the new day would have in store for her. In the past, Rinn had always had a fairly consistent routine. It wasn't difficult to guess where she was at any particular time, whereas with Helena the only constant in her work was change. This new live seemed to be no different.
But there is one thing I know might happen.
"Are you ready to see her?" Rinn asked.
"Kate?"
She nodded and watched as Helena shifted and squared her shoulders a little.
"It will be fine," her friend replied. "I have…" Helena stopped, looking down for just a moment, and Rinn wondered if the brave face was about to fall. I shouldn't have taken her up on her offer. If she's not keen on it, then we can find another way. "She's a good person, Erinn," her friend continued quietly as she met Rinn's gaze. "Solid, if she's in the right mood. I'll be fine."
Helena glanced behind her quickly. Noise in the room beyond? Someone approaching?
"I have to go," she said, turning back. "Thank you for the talk."
"Lena," Rinn interrupted gently and her friend stopped, waiting for her to finish. "You…" she looked down and swallowed before looking back up. "You could always drop the gift off at Kelly," she made the suggestion, hoping Helena would take the easy way out, however unlikely it were. "Like… it doesn't have to be you," Rinn picked up speed. "You don't have to face her and I don't want you to… well…" She halted. Fight? Upset each other? All of the above?
"Just give it to Kelly," she said quietly. "Or maybe even Miranda, y'know? You'll probably see her. It won't be as weird."
She watched Helena shaking her head slowly, just as she knew her friend would.
"I said I'd give it to her," the ginger replied with a gentle smile. "I can do so. I want to." The smile became a little crooked. "I won't make any trouble."
Haven't you noticed that trouble has the tendency of following us both?
Rinn hid her thoughts with a raised eyebrow, revealing her scepticism rather than her concern.
Helena winked and the mischief was back in her eyes. "I'll see you tonight. Or tomorrow," she lifted her palm uppermost. "I can't remember when we're leaving."
Rinn smiled and gave a small nod. "Stay safe," she replied and ended the call.
As the dark filled the room again, she turned to the direction of the bed, now hidden from view. Soon she would see everything, but for now she enjoyed being as night blind as she had been in the life before. The thought of sleep was tempting, one she knew she'd give in to – after she had a snack of course. She sighed and allowed her tummy to tuck her to the kitchen. Good thing Chenee helped me stock it up again.
Reality of course, was sobering. Looking out of the cab's window, Helena couldn't stop herself from feeling alien and isolated, which wasn't a new feeling to her, but it was becoming more frequent. She had expected Rinn's conversation to be enlightening, an aid. But her friend had hardly known anything of the Shadow Broker apart from what she remembered from the first and second game. She had no idea what the DLC had been about – no clue that Liara became the Shadow Broker. It was clearly stuck in the memories that the nanocytes had switched off, which meant that they were probably important. Going back in her mind, Helena tried to remember whether she and Rinn had ever discussed Liara s being the Broker since they came here. Rinn had assumed that Liara made it to the final game. It was logical because she was one of the long-term romance options. Helena snorted with amusement suddenly, remembering Thane. Love doesn't save you from all...
She had never liked the drell's romance, but was willing to admit that she might have been a bit biased as well. But really, what self-respecting Shepard would want to date someone that can give her hallucinations if she licked him...?
She decided to stop her mind from going where it was threatening to go and took a steadying breath. Rinn had also reminded her that she still had one task to do today. She needed to go to the Normandy to give Kate her gift. Sending it via Kelly might've been the easy way out, but it wouldn't have been right.
And I want to see Miranda again.
The woman had not contacted her, but Helena had not expected her to.
What am I doing? Where am I going with her?
Helena didn't try to answer the question, too afraid of the answers. But, she had made her cab driver make a stop along the way. She had wanted to get to the Normandy on her own, but Liara, upon hearing what she wanted to do, had insisted on calling a cab herself. Helena had a feeling that the chatty salarian, whom she had long since stopped listening to, was one of Liara's informants.
I wonder if Vasir comes to Illium often. One of her biggest challenges that she had foreseen in the future was simply getting in touch with the Spectre again. She was having a hard enough time as it was with Kasumi. She had half a mind to go to the Spectre's office and see if Jondum Bau was around and see if she could get some information out of him.
Not a bad idea.
Doubt came and went and, not for the first time, Helena wondered what the hell she was doing. And whether what she had in mind, her half formed idea to try and change Katelyn's story line into something completely new and unique, would actually work.
And, this won't stop the indoctrination… Not directly. Not really.
Then how do we do that?
She thought of her Shepard and her second appearance. Helena didn't want to admit it to herself, but she had been slightly freaked out by it. She knew that normal people didn't simply see people that didn't exist. There was a very clear term for it.
Hallucination.
She shook her head and pushed away all her questions of madness. The cab dropped out of traffic to a public parking space and for a second or two Helena had to simply focus on not throwing up. She hated driving, one of the other reasons she would've liked to walk to the Normandy.
"You can come back here when you're done," the salarian was telling her. "Dr T'Soni's paid for the return fair. I will wait, I will."
Helena gave him a short look and had to refrain from rolling her eyes as she pushed herself out of the car. "Thank you," she said simply. "If you have to go though..." The way he blinked at her told her that she should just simply stop the statement. "Right. Thank you." She sighed and made sure she had everything. "I won't be long."
She didn't have far to go. Helena wove through the crowds of people around the docking bay, again reminded of an airport. She felt an itch between her shoulders and on impulse, dropped her bag so that she could stoop down and pick it up while looking the way she had come. Sure enough the salarian walked a few paces behind her, not even bothering to be subtle.
Liara's doing, Helena thought again and felt a moment's rage – wondering if she would ever be let off of the apron strings again. They can all go to hell.
Kelly was waiting for her at the docking tube, having warned her in advance that security was a little bit tighter than usual. As always, the yeoman had a smile ready for her. but this time she didn't try and greet her with a hug and simply offered her hand immediately.
"You look a little pale," she said by way of greeting. "Everything alright?"
Helena chuckled and motioned behind her. "It's the cab ride," she replied. "I'm very sensitive to motion sickness. It takes a bit to stabilise my digestive system. Hello, Kelly. Thank you for getting me."
The yeoman smiled and slipped her arm into Helena's, guiding her down the docking tube to the airlock. "It's always a pleasure to see you," she said dutifully, but the smile in her voice almost sold it as the truth. "I heard that you and Dr T'Soni were here. How are you doing? Did you have a good party last night?"
Vasir came to mind, causing Helena to smile. "It was enlightening," she said and hesitated. "Is M... Officer Lawson here?"
The look the yeoman gave her was far too familiar. "She should be," she said and smiled. "Should I ask EDI?"
Helena wasn't sure how to respond so decided to change the subject. She felt her stomach turn suddenly and it had nothing to do with her motion sickness.
"Did you tell the commander I'll only need a minute or two?" she said and hugged her bag, thinking suddenly that the drop might have damaged her cargo. "I won't take up a lot of her time."
They moved into the airlock and waited for a moment for the doors to open and close as they had to. Kelly didn't reply immediately but studied her, her gaze more cautious.
"I did," she said. "And, you hardly needed to ask. Katelyn will always have time for you two. She's briefly busy with Dr Chakwas, but she'll come see you the moment she's finished. I'm taking you to the communication's room. Will that suffice?"
Helena chuckled to herself and nodded. "Even simply the docking bay would've been fine," she confessed and studied the yeoman as she led her across the CIC. "Are you well. Kelly? How have you been holding up?" She expected the yeoman's pause. And Kelly, bless her, was honest in the sentence afterwards.
"I have good days and bad days," she whispered. "Depends on whether I keep myself busy." She sighed. "Memories mostly. Nightmares." She paused. "You?"
Helena wasn't as honest, but tried to be. "I'm better," she said. "I think now that… as my shoulder's getting better, so am I. I have bad days. Nights mostly actually." She sighed and shrugged. "It's to do with pain as well, I'd venture a guess. Bad shoulder days equals bad mental days. It will get better."
The yeoman's worry was very genuine. "You should talk to someone, Helena," she said quietly. "That was… a bad day. And you should talk to someone about the mine as well."
Helena's heart was growing heavier so she made up for it by smiling. "If it gets too rough, I will," she said. "But time is a great healer, Kelly. That's always how I've felt."
The yeoman made a murmuring sound. "We don't always have time," she said. "For a crew like this – the commander spoke to me about getting… someone else. Not to replace me, of course. Just… someone removed from all of it to come and have a few honest discussions with us." She smiled. "I think it's a good idea." She shrugged. "I know I need to talk to someone about what I've seen."
Helena would've thought that she would agree, but something about what Kelly said immediately made her uneasy.
It was a good idea, she thought. A very Rinn-like idea…
It was perhaps because she had not done so in the past few weeks, that Chakwas found it heartening when she saw Katelyn come into the infirmary around the same time she would've done during her rounds through the ship. The weeks that they had had showed on her face. Karin had been present for most of the meetings that they had had with the Alliance staff, but there had still been evaluations behind closed doors and those were the ones that seemed to have hit Katelyn the most. Still, she didn't look as preoccupied as she came into the infirmary, her gaze searching as she took in what Karin was doing.
Miranda and the doctor had had a meeting the night before, an odd one in Chakwas's mind, because the XO had appeared distracted. The doctor had respected her privacy, but wondered whether it had anything to do with the time that Miranda had been away from the Normandy. Karin was sorting through some personnel files and, knew now that she looked at Kate, that she had anticipated this interaction. It made her strangely happy, because it meant that her commander was focusing on her crew again.
"Helena's coming this morning," Katelyn finally said, half leaning against her desk. "Kelly just informed me that she's on her way. Do you know anything about it?"
Chakwas blinked up at her and motion Katelyn to the chair beside her. "I… don't," she said. "She doesn't speak to me. Is she coming to see Miranda?"
Katelyn shook her head very slowly and sat down beside her. "No," she said simply. "Me."
The doctor blinked again. "Oh, that's…" She didn't quite know what to say, her mind shifting to the strange youth. "Do you think she's going to tell you something? Inform you…" She trailed off. Chakwas was a sceptic by nature and didn't know what to think of Helena's supposed clairvoyance. If she had not experienced the woman's terror in the infirmary, she would not have put any stock to it at all. There was something odd about her, yes, but Chakwas could not imagine that anybody would have the ability to see the future.
Katelyn had sighed. "I don't know," she said and added darkly. "I don't think so though. She has her secrets and she will keep them for as long as it suits her." She shrugged. "It's probably something to do with Rinn." The hybrid was about the only thing the two women had common ground on. "Besides, I've been… thinking. Or, Jack said something to me a while ago. While I was going through all those tests… It got me thinking that maybe, maybe they should just be left alone. If Helena has this ability, she didn't come to it naturally. She must hate Cerberus for a reason. Putting pressure on her…" She shrugged. "I don't know, Karin."
Smiling at Kate, Chakwas reached out and touched her leg. "Well, see what she has to say," she said. "Do you want me to be there? Or Miranda?"
Katelyn shook her head, but the mention of their XO focused her gaze a bit. "Did Miranda speak to you last night about the possibility of crew assessments?"
Deciding that it must be the actual reason for Katelyn's visit, Chakwas looked around the infirmary to make sure that Anita wasn't there before she got up and locked the door.
"She mentioned it," she pointed out. "Though she was a bit distracted last night. I believe that she decided not to take it up with the Illusive Man. Bring in outside help."
Katelyn nodded, folding her hands over her legs. "We tried that route before," she pointed out. "I'm not going to ask him to take care of my own people. And I'm not sure his interests will be on the stability of a single person. I'd rather bring in someone whose agenda my crew won't have to worry about."
There you are, Karin thought with a smile and shifted so that she could face Katelyn better. "I completely agree," she said. "I'm… glad that Miranda saw that as well. The Illusive Man's more likely to dismiss the whole crew and replace them with androids than see to their wellbeing."
Katelyn snorted and ran her fingers over the arm's rest, fidgeting as a small smile played across her features. "Oh, I wouldn't go that far," she said. "But there are some things that he and the Alliance might have in common." Her bitterness was obvious and Karin suspected that – like herself – Katelyn had begun to grasp that this evaluation would not go her way. She shrugged, but made a mental note to talk to Katelyn about that as well at some point.
"It's easier to expect the impossible from the inhumane," Chakwas pointed out. "Do you want me to arrange someone? Should I involve Kelly?" She paused. "This will be a full-time consulting position."
Katelyn considered her words carefully. "Kelly's wiling to leave it to you," she said finally. "Her colleagues are all friends. Or Cerberus. And the position will be probationary. I don't want to bring more trouble in..." She smiled suddenly. "But I don't see why we can't haul some of the out of Cerberus funds regardless."
Chuckling at the last, Karin spread her arms wide. "We will have to," she pointed out. "Because therapists aren't cheap. Not the good ones anyway." She smiled. "I might know someone who'd be interested." Let's get you back to the meat and bones of being a psychiatrist, Robbie.
Katelyn's nod told Chakwas that she had expected no less. "See what you can do," she said. "This has to be done properly. And," she paused and fixed Karin with an honest look. "When we get someone, make sure it's someone you'd be willing to talk to as well."
Somehow, Chakwas didn't think that that would be a problem. Had it not been for the restrictions placed on her through the secrecy of Rinn's condition, she would've done so already. Yet, she saw an opportunity to address a matter she had some concerns over as well.
"I will if you will, Katelyn Theresa Shepard," she said with a gentle smile, but felt dismayed even when Katelyn lifted her hands up in jest.
"Hey," the commander said. "I endured needles and people wanting to poke holes in my head with their styluses and datapads." She got up. "We'll talk about my appointment when you've caught up."
Chakwas got up with her, moving slowly. "Granted," she said and decided to leave the topic for now and address another, more prickly, one. "Katelyn, I know of someone trustworthy. And I have no doubt that he'd be interested in this. But something I've considered is that we'll have to tell him of Rinn. It will come out through the crew."
Katelyn stood still, her features torn. "There's nothing we can do about that," she said quietly. "The husk did a lot of damage to us…" Her gaze drifted to Chakwas's arm. "We can't just ignore that. Just…" She hesitated and grimaced. "Let's keep Helena's… advantage to a minimum. I don't want someone else poking into it when we don't even know what we're dealing with. I'm more worried about that, and where we draw the line between Cerberus confidentiality and my crew's need to speak freely."
Chakwas nodded and saw Kelly glancing through the infirmary window. She met Katelyn's gaze and gave the commander a thumb's up. Helena's here. Katelyn followed the gesture, nodded slightly and then turned back to Karin.
"We'll be leaving within the next couple of days." She stated. "Perhaps your associate will be available when we return to hear the Alliance's conclusions?" She smiled, but it was bitter and angry. "Perhaps he might want to hear from them what he is getting as a boss first."
Oh Kate…
Chakwas didn't know what to say and silently prayed for the best. "I'll see him today," she said – thinking that she and Robert had had a late breakfast meeting scheduled anyway. "Maybe arrange a meeting for the two of you. To arrange terms of service of course."
Katelyn looked behind her to the door, clearly already thinking of leaving to meet Helena. Yet, she turned back and gave Chakwas a steady look.
"Oh, of course," she said and smiled. "Truth be told, I think I might just leave that to Miranda. I want her in on this. He's going to have to be able to work under her command as well. And, she shouldn't escape a session or two either."
The thought made Chakwas laugh. "They might want to settle their personal differences first," she pointed out. "He is not fond of Cerberus, Kate." She didn't add that they had already met, not wanting to sour the commander's opinion of her friend. But, she liked Katelyn's smile, reminding her of the woman she had known before Sovereign and the geth.
"That's never been a negative trait in my books," she said. "As long as he can understand that he will be treating Cerberus employees, people who chose to join the organisation, then we'll have no qualms. I'm trusting that you'll choose someone up to the task."
Chakwas smiled and glanced at the time. "Well, for that I'll require permission to leave the Normandy, Commander." She winked at Katelyn who grinned at her and saluted.
"Permission granted, Chief Medical Officer."
Chuckling, Chakwas got up – deciding that she would meet her friend in civilian clothes rather than her Cerberus uniform. "I'll get you something nice," she pointed out and walked past Katelyn to unlock the door. As she did so, the woman briefly touched her shoulder, appreciation clear in her gaze.
"Oh goodie," she said. "I can't wait. Don't do anything that requires us to dash off ahead of schedule. Miranda won't make it."
Laughing, the older woman shrugged.
"People, with as much experience as I, don't get caught."