Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...
She heard it every time she came here. Once it was a relief, telling her Vanille was alive so she shouldn't worry. Now it taunted her, reminding her that time was running out, and the end was nearing. Lightning tightened her grip on Vanille's hand, her lip quivering slightly.
Her icy blue eyes watched Vanille sleep, her chest rising and falling with every breath; and with every breath it got worse for her. She wouldn't admit it, but she was in pain, so much so that she was usually sedated when pain killers weren't enough. It was cruel but the hospital couldn't do anything more. Hell, Lightning couldn't do anything more.
Lightning ran a hand through her hair, taking another deep breath to calm herself. She wouldn't cry, she couldn't, she didn't want to because she knew if she started she couldn't stop and she certainly didn't want Vanille to feel guilty. Constantly Vanille apologized for Lightning spending time with her, but Lightning merely replied it's what you do for the one you love.
Yeah, for the one you love you do stupid things, brilliant things, funny things and things that just aren't you. Right now, love was making Lightning feel weaker than ever. More vulnerable than when she started falling in love with Vanille. She had exposed everything she was to Vanille, and Vanille excepted her. Now that Vanille was lying in a hospital bed, attached to an IV and a drip, well Lightning felt like she had lost control of her life. It was as if everything she had was being attacked and that made her feel vulnerable. Looking at Vanille now made her feel absolutely useless, she couldn't do anything. When Vanille was in pain she couldn't hold her or help her, she had to watch and Vanille smiled through it as if it was nothing. Her brave little Vanille, soldiering on.
Lightning tensed her jaw, forcing the tears back but to no avail. They still crashed down, and she still let out a small sob. She held her face in her hands, no longer holding Vanille's as she wept. It was too much for her. She's already lost other friends, even her own share of loved ones but to lose Vanille...it's a death sentence. She'd lose her heart and her life would have no meaning. It would be filled with dull colours and emptiness, the loneliness crashing down on her at full impact. No one could help her, no one should try. They should help Vanille.
Why, oh god, WHY, was Vanille cursed like this? Their life was perfect, they were engaged and everything was just so amazing. No worries, nothing...until Vanille got sicker and sicker, revealing she had a heart defect. She suffered Cardiomegaly which led her to suffer from Cardiomyopathy. In simple words she had a heart larger than someone of her size should have, also with the weakening of heart muscles added to the mix it was more dangerous. Lightning was there when Vanille had other symptoms come to light such as her heart rate becoming abnormal, shortness of breath, edema and even a few faints. However when she had a heart attack followed by a seizure...it all came tumbling out. Vanille revealed her condition, saying she hoped she could handle it but with her heart being over worked the doctors were surprised she even lasted this long without needing immediate medical help. It was true that children born like this live with their heart growing bigger and bigger, however it wasn't until the symptoms occurred that Vanille knew. In fact she only realized the harsh reality of it when she had her heart attack, simply waiting this out was not an option.
Vanille was on the waiting list for a new heart but she was too far down the line and needed it now. Doctors asked everyone to make their goodbyes, and while everyone else managed to...Lightning never managed to do it. She couldn't let go as easily, not after everything they've been through. It was so unfair, Vanille was a sweet girl who was nice to everyone. She gave her all and was a total sweetheart, someone as innocent as her shouldn't suffer like this. Lightning would give anything to be in her place, because at least then she'd be glad Vanille wasn't suffering any more, at least physically. It pained both of them so much but while Lightning bore emotional pain, Vanille suffered so much physical pain it seemed like some sort of punishment. But punishment from who? God? Ha! Any righteous God would know Vanille was innocent, in fact any good god would save her. Even if Lightning had to die she'd do anything so Vanille could live.
Suddenly Lightning felt a hand touch her hands and she looked up to see a familiar figure smiling at her. Vanille was sat there, awake and smiling right at Lightning.
"Lightning, finally you're crying" Vanille said smiling.
"I-I...I didn't want you to see" Lightning admitted as she averted her eyes away shamefully.
"Why not? Because you think you're showing weakness? Lightning I could never think you are weak, in fact seeing you cry shows that you're finally showing your emotions. That's true strength if you ask me" Vanille smiled cutely.
Lightning couldn't handle it, she couldn't handle Vanille's innocent smile. She felt more tears come as she stared at the woman she loved. Why was Vanille so strong even in the face of death?
"Shh shh Lightning, come here" she instructed, bringing Lightning in for a tender embrace.
"It's so unfair. You don't deserve this Vanille. You deserve so much more from this world. Now that everything is being taken away from you...how can you be so calm?" Lightning sniffled, unable to be calm and collected like she usually is.
"Lightning, we all have to die sometime" Vanille sighed.
"I know that but...why now? And why so painfully?"Lightning said, looking up at Vanille helplessly.
"I don't know, but I'm not going to argue against my fate if I can't change it. There's no point fighting this battle when it's already lost"
"I won't accept that! It can't be so black and white"
"Lightning." Vanille said, tilting Lightning's chin to face her as she spoke, "Life is never black and white, but when facing death it's clear as day. Accept death and die with no regrets or deny death and live your final days fearing everything. I'd rather be leaving with no regrets and with you by my side until the end. I'm so sorry that I'll be going but you have to live your life without me." Vanille said, her smile faltering slightly as it saddened.
"I don't think I can" Lightning whispered, too afraid of how weak her voice sounded.
"Yes you can Lightning. You're strong remember? My strong, brave, extremely sexy," Vanille smiled, "Lightning. And nothing will change that. Even if I go, you'll learn to cope."
"Without you Vanille my life has no meaning. I'd have to wake up every day alone in out bed. I'd have to get ready without you reminding me where my shoes are. I won't be happily awaiting a delicious breakfast because you aren't there to make it. I'd barely make it out the door and I'd come home to an empty house. There'd be no more cuddling on the couch, no more candle lit dinners, no more nights with you in my arms or professing my undying love. There'd be no more midnight walks on the beach, no more days where I'd give you my coat when there was a chill. Without you I'd have no purpose and just be a hollow shell" Lightning cried.
"Your purpose is to live on Lightning" Vanille said, struggle not to cry herself.
"I don't think I could" Lightning whimpered.
"Lightning...I...I wish this was I find myself wishing that perhaps we never met so I'd be alone in this room and you could be somewhere else, living with someone else...maybe even with your own family. Just...without me in it" Vanille cried before Lightning stood and suddenly hugged her tightly.
"Don't say that...please.. never say that again. I couldn't bear it...you're my everything. Just, stop" she cried, her entire body shaking.
"I'm sorry Lightning" Vanille said, hugging her back.
"Never ask me to live my life without you Vanille. Just...can we stay like this? The world around us non existent. No heart condition, no death. Just you and me, right here and right now." Lightning whimpered, looking back in Vanille's eye's.
"Alright Lightning. It's just you and me" Vanille smiled.
They stared at each other, completely lost in one another before they leaned in. The world was gone, there was simply Lightning, and Vanille. Two women who were completely in love, and utterly devoted to each other. Lightning faltered for a second, hesitating before she remembered it was just her and Vanille. Their lips connected, a slow and tender kiss that made both hearts soar. It was loving and didn't hold back emotions as tears freely flowed. It was a cruel fate they lived, however they had to accept it, as brutal as it was.
A/N: What a feels trip ;-; *dodges rocks*
Sorry but I needed to do a serious one and this is a sort of re do of a prompt for one of the sick or injured by 'Erifrats101'. I felt bad for doing a crappy one with a low word count soooooo...BAM! This work of sadness. One of my best if I do say so myself, but I seem to be better with sad stuff anyways DX
To my friends I am a cruel writer, you know killing off characters, giving them a bad childhood or tragedy, maybe going all Count of Monte Cristo XD Lol no I hate putting chars with a ship I hate, unless it's a start so I can watch as a char I hate or dislike is crushed by true love :D Oh I am such a bitch XD
Anywhore! You know the drill! Tell me the errors, fav, follow, review, prompt!
Peace out!
xxxFallenFangirlxxx