Chapter 21: Will My Heart Go On?

I am not the only one who appears despondent over Peeta's condition. The sorrow seems to have permeated into the rest of District 13, as well.

When President Coin announces Finnick and Annie's upcoming wedding, it is a welcome distraction from our troubles.

The ceremony itself is beautifully done. Upon discovering that my mother had rescued her old wedding dress from the District 12 fires, she and I readily let Annie borrow it. Someone procures one of the suits that Peeta wore - recovered on the rescue mission - and it is tailored to fit Finnick.

The District 4 wedding ceremony is a little different from 12's. Like ours, vows are exchanged, but instead of a toasting of bread, a seafaring song is sung. Thus, are Finnick and Annie declared bonded for life.

Dalton, a poor farmer refugee from District 10, kicks up a song on his fiddle. I dance some traditional District 12 folk dances with Prim and baby Ashley. We even teach a recovered Johanna some of the steps, laughing with her at her self-proclaimed "two left feet."

I have just gone off the floor to rest when Finnick calls me into a corner.

"Katniss... I wanted to apologize."

I blink in confusion. "For what?"

"For... not believing you and Peeta were in love. I didn't buy into the story from your first Games, but when Peeta hit that forcefield, I knew that... I knew that I misjudged you."

My eyes fill with tears. "Thank you, Finnick. Apology accepted."

"And, hey," Finnick cracks. "You have excellent taste. I mean, how many men can cook a cake like he does?"

I glance back at the ornate wedding cake, decorated with waves and boats, surprised. I should have known it was Peeta's handiwork.

"Speaking of your husband," Finnick calls my attention back. "Haymitch told me to tell you that Peeta would like to see you."

I leave the wedding reception lost in a fog, as lost as one of the boats on the wedding cake. The walk to Peeta's hospital ward feels like a funeral march. I meet Haymitch by a bolted metal door, and he fastens me with a headset.

"So we can hear what is said. Peeta has one on, too. If things start to go crazy... get out of there as soon as we tell you. You understand?"

I nod, and a medical attendant unlocks the heavy door.

I enter a white, sterile room. A bed lies in the center, which Peeta is strapped down to. His eyes narrow when his gaze finds me.

"What are you doing here?" he growls.

"I came here to see you." I tentatively approach. "That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"I wanted the real Katniss, not some Capitol mutt."

His biting comment hits me right between the eyes. Is this what he has been conditioned to believe? That I am no better than the Capitol creations which torment the arenas? I should not get so angry at his words, but I do.

"Sucks for you - this is the real Katniss, and you had better get used to it! You may not think I'm worth a damn, but you're worth a damn to me!"

Peeta blinks at my talking back, before suddenly laughing. "Well, you're a piece of work, ain't ya?" he drawls.

I don't even know why I bothered to come; it has been a clear waste of my time. "So are you!" And then, before I can think of what I'm saying: "It's just as well our baby died in the arena; who would want you for a father?"

I storm for the door, when Peeta calls:

"Katniss!... I remember the bread."

I freeze and almost - almost - feel a twinge of regret for the lie I told him. I wait for him to say more.

Do you remember kissing me? Do you remember making love to me in the rain?

But my husband speaks no further words, so I leave the room.