This is the third time I've tried to fucking type this and I'm getting fucking pissed off at this stupid piece of shit. So if I can manage to get all the fucking way through this fucking chapter, then I'll list off special people at the end.
-You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser.-
Gamzee had waited the four months between his and his boyfriend's twenty first birthday so they could have their first alcoholic drink together. He couldn't wait for them to be alone later that night. However for now, he'd have to wait.
Despite the fact that Tavros had made it clear on multiple occasions that he didn't like parties, they're group of friends still insisted in throwing him a "surprise" party. Tavros dreaded it every year, despite the fact that he'd always end up saying it was fun. Gamzee knew he just said that to make everyone else happy though.
So here they all were- Tavros, Gamzee, Karkat, Terezi, Nepeta, Sollux, Eridan, Feferi, Kanaya, Aradia, and Vriska- at Tavros' house where he lived with his dad for yet another of Tavros' birthday parties where he mostly sat back and just dazed off. Tavros' dad was the smart one; he always left before too many of Tavros' friends got there.
Gamzee smiled as he watched some of the group try to get together a decent role play.
"Uh, maybe we could do Peter Pan...?" Tavros suggested shyly.
Vriska groaned. "But there aren't any girl pirates. Laaaaaaaame!"
"Let's do what Tavros wants. After all, it's his birthday. " Aradia forcefully replied, looking rather irritated.
"Can I be a kitten?" Nepeta asked excitedly.
"Oo! I wanna be a dragon!" Terezi yelled with a huge grin across her face.
Then Karkat started to attempt to explain how there are "none of your fucking dragons and cats in this idiotic kid's movie"
Tavros, the same as every year before this one, didn't look like he had a single idea what to do.
Normally, Gamzee would just brush it off and say "Yep. They're all out of their motherfuckin minds. I'm gonna get another Faygo." But this time he thought to himself, "Today is supposed to be special for Tavbro and they're fuckin it up."
Before even thinking about what he was doing, he had gotten up out of his seat where he had been watching the chaos unfold and started to push his way through the crowd of their arguing friends.
When he came to Tavros, he got real close to him and whispered "Do you wanna leave?"
"B-but won't everyone be-"
"Man, stop worrying about those motherfuckers and worry a little bit about yourself. You only turn twenty one once"
Tavros smiled slightly and nodded. They left and no one noticed until the argument finally redirected itself back to role playing after hitting many subject such as how "pawful" dogs are, whether Komodo dragons are real or not, and the definition of a bitch.
Who would've know a bitch is a female dog?
Meanwhile, the boys had taken Gamzee's jeep to Gamzee's apartment. They went into 10G (is that even an apartment number?).
"Gamzee?"
"Yeah?"
"I know it's earlier than we originally planned, but... Do you think we could? Y'know..."
Gamzee looked at the clock: it was 2:30. "I don't see why not. What kind do you think we should all up and motherfucking try?"
Tavros shrugged. He pulled out his phone and googled it.
"Well... This site says... "Straight vodka is awesome, but make sure you've got a chaser"
"Whats a chaser?" Gamzee asked.
Google.
"The urban dictionary says a chaser is something you drink right after a shot."
"Oh... Well what's a good chaser?"
Google.
"Cranberry juice or range juice? Oh, that's a typo. Orange juice"
"Let's do "range" juice." Gamzee said, smiling.
"Sure."
So they got back in the jeep and went to a liquor store.
"Holy motherfuck there's a lot of different kinds of vodka." Still looking at the huge selection, Gamzee nudged his boyfriend towards the alcohol. "you choose one."
"Oh, uh... Well maybe... No...no...no... This one?" Tavros had chosen a Plastic jug of vodka labeled " Gordon's"
He looked at the large jug then at the ridiculously low price. "Well, it's definitely it's money's worth."
When the two got back to the apartment with the vodka in tow. They sat down at the small dining room table. Gamzee got out the orange juice. "So... How much is a shot?"
"Don't they use those little cups in the movies?"
"Yeah, but I think they just do that because they're a bunch of cheap motherfuckers and don't wanna spend a bunch of money on alcohol."
Tavros shrugged. "I guess that could be it..."
So the two boys prepared two cups of orange juice and two full sized cups of vodka.
Neither of them moved a muscle. "You go first, Gamzee." Tavros said after a few moments.
"No you."
"You"
"You"
"You"
"You"
"Okay, we can do it together."
"Okay..."
And so they did... They spit out the vodka before they got to the orange juice.
Gamzee thought about how cool the guys in the movies looked, sipping in their drink, smiling. "Maybe we were supposed to mix the vodka and the orange juice together so we don't have to worry about drinking the orange juice before spitting out the vodka."
Tavros nodded. "That makes sense."
It tasted even more disgusting than the plain vodka. Gamzee was just about to spit it out, when the thought of the movie man came to mind again.
Gamzee swallowed the vodka-orange juice concoction and smiled. "It gets better as you go." He told Tavros, who had waited for Gamzee to taste it.
Tavros looked at the grimace on Gamzee's face doubtfully.
"It really is better."
He still didn't fully believe the taller man, but he went ahead and took a sip of it anyways. The only thing more disgusting than the first sip of the stuff was the second sip. Wait, dont forget about the third...and fourth...and fifth...and so forth.
Meanwhile, back at the party, now that they had cross referenced every website and dictionary at hand to find that bitch really did mean a female dog, they got back to the idea if role playing.
"Well what s Tavros' opinion on the matter? Has up he made any suggestions as to what he would like to role play as?" Kanaya intervened in the argument at long last.
Everyone looked for him, but he could not be found. They did a head count, with Karkat counting after much argument.
Karkat went to the bathroom door, yelling as he went. He banged on the door with his fist. "Are any of you fuckasses in there?" No response.
"Damn it! they must have left while you ignorant idiots were arguing."
"Us ignorant idiots?"
"Yes, you ignorant idiots."
This started an entirely new argument.
Back to Gamzee and Tavros.
Tavros is stuttering.
Gamzee is explaining how miraculous the world is.
Back to the party.
Karkat has finally admitted that yes, in fact he was one yelling the most and that it was just as much as much if not more his fault than anyone else.
Once that was all over, Nepeta's older brother came in a minivan and took every one to Gamzee's house because that's where they assumed they went.
When they arrived, they found Gamzee and Tavros having an ultimate rap battle in which both of them were doing shitty.
Holy shit, bros, I just realized how many special people there are this time! XD I'm so happy now. And here they are, those wonderful motherfuckers who deserve glomps and digital cookies: Nimblefoot13, contagiousTrain, Lord Anarchy 888, Kayla-Peixes, RoyalWriter, LindaTheWizard, starhinarose35, endramadacosmicmoonstar, xX-smilez-Xx, Angel Dragon Slayer, MisstiqueRose, and gracie-jones. Have a great day, homestuckers. X)