A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews from last chapter. I got the first chapters of this story posted on Twilighted, which means it's been tweaked to comply with their rules. I promise, this is the last sad chapter, but it's a beautiful one! In honor of New Moon enjoy! The more reviews I get the more inspiration flows my way!
Ch.21
It was raining outside when I woke up. Sheets of rain cascaded down the window as the sound of running water filled the room. I got up from the bed and moved closer to see. The glass of the windowpane felt cold to the touch, but the coolness mixed with the scene of water rolling down was somehow soothing to my soul. I don't know for how long I stood in front of the window looking at the rain fall, because next thing I knew I heard a small knock on the door.
"Yes?" I answered.
"Bella, it's dad. Just wanted to know if you were awake."
"Come in dad," I said as I turned over to face the door.
Charlie snuck his face inside, a bit hesitant to walk in.
"How are you feeling today sweetheart?" he asked.
"I'm doing better dad," I replied.
"Well, the funeral is in two hours. Do you still want to go?"
"Yes, I'll be ready in about an hour and then we can go."
"Alice called, she asked if you would like them to meet you here or at the funeral home. You might want to call her back and let her know."
"I'll call her in a couple of minutes. I'll still like to go there with you, if that's OK."
Charlie simply nodded and closed the door behind him.
I wrapped my arms around my torso and turned around to keep looking at the rain. It had been three days since the hospital. I had stayed in the waiting area until Alice arrived. She and Edward convinced me to go home after sitting in the waiting room for three hours. Once home, Alice helped me change into my pajamas while Edward made us all some tea. Neither of them spoke, they stayed quiet and left me to my grief. They refused to leave until Charlie showed up an hour later. I went to sleep and woke up a day and a half later, with some recollection of what had happened.
Charlie had insisted I stayed home until the funeral, but I vehemently refused. He wanted to give me some time to process everything, scared that I would leave like I had done in the past. I was so frustrated with his actions that I called Alice and with Jasper in tow we went over to the funeral house that evening for the family viewing. I barely spoke on our way there; once we stepped in, I had enough strength to hug Sam, Rachel and Rebecca before taking a seat.
"Bella?" had asked Alice, "do you want to see him now? They're about to close the room for the evening and tomorrow is going to be more crowded."
I nodded and with her help we walked over to the open casket. Jasper had stayed behind with Sam, giving me the privacy I needed for this moment. I took a deep breath and kept my eyes closed for a while. Alice placed her arm around me giving me a short squeeze while her comforting words reassured me that everything would be fine. Her gesture gave me enough strength to open my eyes and look down.
Billy looked so peaceful. A smile formed on his lips and his semblance was at ease, as if he had finally reached home. I knew that wherever he was he was happy, and that in some small way I had been part of it. Until that moment I had dreaded seeing him, thinking somehow that everything I had experienced in the hospital had been made up in my mind as a coping mechanism. But when I saw him I knew the truth, that every single thing that had happened in that hospital room had been real and that now both Jacob and Billy were finally at peace. I couldn't help when a tear escaped my eye but I accompanied it with a smile on my face. I stroked his face and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead.
"Goodbye Billy, thank you for everything," I said in a barely audible whisper to his ear.
"Feeling better?" asked Alice as we walked away from the casket.
"Yes," I replied.
Now I was here, standing by my window, recollecting everything that had happened in the last few days. My life had changed dramatically, and in the process I had grown exponentially with the help of Billy and Jacob. They both showed me I had a life ahead of me, that I deserved to be happy and that by doing so I would honor both their memories. Although it was a sad day, for me it was also a new beginning with endless possibilities.
I made my way downstairs and dialed Alice's mobile phone, which she answered after the second ring.
"Bella?" she asked.
"Yes Alice, it's me. Dad told me you called earlier."
"Yes, we wanted to know if you wanted us to pick you up or if we should meet you at the funeral home."
"I'll meet you guys over there. If you don't mind I'll like to spend some time with dad. After yesterday, I think I need to apologize and talk to him."
"You do that Bella, he sounded a bit sad when I spoke to him earlier. I know it may not be the best time, but my family and I wanted to do something to help you guys. How about we plan something for tomorrow, do you think Charlie will come?"
"I guess, we can talk about it after the funeral, we can go and grab a bite to eat or something."
"That would be nice, mom has been wanting to see you for the longest time and I think she would really like that, to just sit with the entire family and have a nice dinner with you and your dad."
"Then it's settled. See you at the funeral home."
"See you then," said Alice before I hung up.
I was feeling better, but I knew that until I sat down and talked to dad I wouldn't be able to be completely at ease. I still needed some time to think of what I was going to say, so I grabbed some personal items and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.
After fixing my hair and donning my one and only black dress, I put on my black flats, grabbed my jacket and headed downstairs.
I could hear the TV on, which meant that Charlie would be sitting on the sofa watching it. I was not wrong, there he was, half-awake, half-asleep, with an arm over the sofa and his legs up on the coffee table.
I made my way to sit next to him; it wasn't until I rested my head next to his arm that he noticed he was no longer by himself.
"You ready?" Charlie asked as he straightened himself on the sofa.
"Not yet dad, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit before we headed out."
"What's on your mind Bella?" Charlie said as lines of worry formed in his face.
I grabbed his hand and placed it in between mine.
"Dad, I just want you to understand that this time is different. I'm not going to run away. I'm not going to leave you behind. I've learned that I need to keep those I care about close to me and not let them go. I'm planning on keeping you as close to me as I can. I love you and I'm sorry I hurt you so much last time."
Neither of us could control the tears that came. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around me.
"Oh, Bella," he managed to say between sobs, "I've just been so worried. I'm sorry about yesterday. I just wanted to keep you safe for a little while longer."
"Dad I understand," I replied, "I promise you, this time I'm OK. This time I won't fall apart like I did before."
He let go of me and looked me in the eyes. I tried to project through them the certainty of my words. He looked into them for a couple of minutes until he was convinced that I was telling him the truth.
"OK, I believe you," he simply stated, "I guess it's time to go then."
I nodded and grabbed my jacket as we made our way to the door.
On our way to the funeral home I told Charlie about how the Cullen's wanted to have dinner with us after the funeral, which surprisingly he agreed to. I guess he wanted the company as well. It would be a hard day for him too, he had known Billy for years, and loosing his fishing partner and friend was hard. I placed my hand on top of his which he didn't let go of until we reached the funeral home. There would be a small traditional service before we all proceeded to La Push for the burial ceremony.
Alice and Jasper were by the front door when we arrived. Alice held me in an embrace as Jasper did the same with my father. We walked inside were the rest of Billy's family as well as some friends were waiting.
I managed to get close to Paul and Rachel and speak to them briefly before the tribal leader approached the podium and asked everyone to take their seat. I moved over to where Charlie was seating and sat next to him.
"We all know that this day is a sad one," said the tribal leader, "filled with memories of a great man and father. He was a great leader and served as an example to our community. He lived a life of great honor, living each day to its fullest and remembering the traditions of our ancestors. Let's all remember Billy Black as a man that guarded his own in times of trials and always kept his head held upright. May the blessings of our ancestors be with him during the new path he has entered and may his guardian guide him through the land of the dead."
After some words from his daughters thanking everyone present we all made it to our cars and headed to La Push for the last farewell. Billy's body was to be taken to James Island, off First Beach by the tribe leaders where he was to be finally laid to rest in peace.
One we reached First Beach, everyone formed a circle around an empty canoe that had been decorated with flowers. It was a symbolic farewell; the canoe was to be taken to James Island by the tribal leaders symbolizing Billy's remains. The actual remains were to be transported later on and buried there.
Rebecca stood next to me and handed me a rose.
"We want you to say goodbye too," she said, "you're family as well."
I gave her a hug before she left to stand next to her husband.
The tribal leader took his place next to the canoe and in indigenous language sang a song of departure. I didn't understand any of the words but images of Billy flooded my mind during the song. After he was finished, he asked the family to step forward and give their last farewell.
Rachel went first; I could see the tears coming down her cheeks as inaudible words escaped her lips. She placed the white rose she had been holding in the center of the canoe before stepping aside.
Rebecca followed, a similar expression in her face. She knelt by the canoe as she placed the rose next to her sisters. She stayed there for a couple of minutes, before standing up and moving next to her sister.
They both looked towards me and nodded, letting me know it was my time to say goodbye.
I walked towards the canoe, feeling my cheeks getting wet as tears rolled down. I stood next to the canoe trying to get my thoughts in order.
"Well Billy," I said a bit hesitant, "you gave me the greatest gift anyone could had given me. You gave me Jacob. With him I learned what it was to love unconditionally and for that I thank you. I also want to thank you for teaching me about letting go, you will never understand how much those last days I spent with you meant. I only hope that you and Jacob can be each other's guardians as you start this new quest. I love you both and I will love you always."
I placed a kiss on the rose before laying it beside Rachel's and joining them.
The tribal leader said some other words, but I didn't hear anything. As the canoe was pushed towards the sea, I stood re-living that scene by the meadow, seeing the smiles on both Jacob and Billy's lips as the light surrounded them and they disappeared. I knew they were in a better place and that someday, somehow I would find my way back to true happiness as well.