Disclaimer: all and any Sailor Moon character belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. I just own the idea for this story. So don't sue me, but please don't steal either!

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20

The man kept on talking, and the brunette switched in his seat.

He didn't want the Count to realize he was not really focused in the ongoing conversation. He knew Count Brayan of the Easterner lands was a rather tempered man, and he was already angered enough with the growing number of rebels going against members of the court. The riots were starting to be a frequent occurrence, and Nephrite knew better than to ignore all these.

But he just couldn't help it. Something was bothering him, and he couldn't find it in himself to concentrate in what the Count was saying.

From the corner of his eye, he saw long, tanned fingers pivoting against the armrest, and that alone put him on edge. He did have a tendency of getting a bit carried away, sometimes giving too much meaning to the smallest of things. And he knew better than to think his commanding officer was unable to hide his growing impatience to the babbling Count; Kunzite was the master of masks, and if he was bothered by this sudden void that had just stroked them, then surely, it was not just Nephrite's imagination and over thinking.

The second the Count stood up, ready to exchange handshakes and a few more words, he said his goodbyes as fast as politeness let him and excused himself, stepping out of the mansion and into the front yard. Blue eyes glued themselves to the night sky immediately, and a deep, concerned frown came to his handsome features. But before he could even begin to try to understand what the stars were trying to tell him, what the message was, Kunzite came to stand beside him.

"What are they telling you?"

His frowned deepened. "I'm... not sure..." he answered, in all honesty. "Something's not right... Zoisite..."

For the first time since he had known him, he saw true concern crossing the tanned man's face right before he fought it off, frowning instead. "We must go back," he said. "Now."

.-.

Rearranging her bag over her shoulder, she rubbed her hands against the skirt of her pale pink layered summer dress, staring at the number on the door.

She really didn't think this through. Not at all. What if she was busy? What if she had company, or wasn't even home at all? What if she didn't want to talk to her?

She frowned at the last one. Considering her own rudeness the day before, that was a very real possibility. Maybe she was offended or hurt. Or just insulted. And she couldn't really blame her for that.

She had left the flat wanting to get out and clear her mind. After Mamoru left, leaving her more confused than she had originally been, and after pacing around the flat doing nothing at all but over thinking things she was sure she didn't fully understood or knew, she finally grew tire of being there. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and going out for a walk and a read, or maybe both, sounded like the perfect getaway to her current state of mind.

Originally, she had wanted to go to the park to read. It was always so relaxing, sitting there under the shadow of a tree, with the sun light dancing through the leaves as she let herself be consumed by a book.

It was the perfect way to stop thinking. To distract herself from everything, if only for a little while. But today, the sanctuary, the spell books held on her didn't work. Instead, she found herself going over the conversation with Mamoru over and over again, like a broken record.

She soon gave up on the idea of enjoying a good reading out in the sun. Her own mind just wouldn't let her, and to add to it, she felt guilty about the way she had treated Zoe; if Mamoru was right -and she knew better than to even think he could ever lie about what had happened in the past. Keep a secret, not really telling her anything? Yes. But never lie-, then she at least owed the green eyed Shitennou an apology.

And she deserved an explanation. For some reason, she already knew she was not going to like it. But she needed to know.

And so, here she was.

There had been no need to ask for Zoe's address; she already had it. She herself had had saved the blonde's phone number and address as a precaution, for future use if needed. It had been the same with the other three, and rationally, she understood there was nothing much to it that just that; assuring a way to contact the blonde if and when needed. But now she couldn't help but wonder if the blonde would feel offended somehow, or maybe invaded by her being there at all.

After yesterday, to assume they weren't exactly on friendly terms was a bit of an understatement.

Taking a deep breath and gathering her courage, she raised her hand, ready to just knock on the door and do what she had came here to do. But before she could ring the bell, the door opened up, and she blinked.

"Mizuno!" the blonde exclaimed, eyes wide and opened, obviously surprised. "H-hi!"

With her hair tied up in a low, loosen ponytail Ami was already all too familiar with, wearing a black and white striped maxiskirt, a white tank top and a denim shirt over it, white T-strap flat sandals on her feet, Zoe looked more than ready to head out. A bag was hanging from her shoulder and she held her sunglasses in one hand as she stood there, green eyes blinking in surprise and mouth hanging half opened, seemingly out of words.

"Hello," she greeted back, nodding her head. "Were you… were you going out?" she asked. "Am I interrupting…?"

"Not really," the blonde was fast to interrupt, shaking her head. "Did you need anything?"

"I wanted to talk to you," she answered. "But I can come later if…"

"No, it's fine," Zoe said, opening the door further up. "Please, come in."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded and did as she was told. And she would have stayed there, standing by the door and nervously fidgeting with her hands, if not for the blonde insisting on her taking a seat.

She hesitated by the couch then, tilting her head to a side. "If you're busy, I can…"

The words died in her throat when she saw the blonde smiling. Small and slightly sided, it brought way too many unwanted memories to her mind, and it made Ami extremely uncomfortable.

"I'm sure the grocery store's not going anywhere," Zoe said. "Can I offer you something?" he asked. "Tea, maybe?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm fine. Thank you."

"Alright," the blonde mumbled, sitting down on the sofa right across from her. "So, what can I do for you?"

"I came here because…" she trailed off, trying to put her thoughts in order. "Well, because, it has been brought to my attention that I may have been unfair to you."

"It's alright," Zoe said, taking any importance out of the conversation with a shake of her shoulder. "It's not like I was expecting any of you to welcome me with open arms..."

She shook her head. "Rei seems to like you," she pointed out. "So does Makoto. Minako is happy because Kun is happy, and Usagi... well, she likes everybody. That's just who she is; all heart, no second thoughts."

"But you don't particularly like me that much," Zoe put in for her.

She let out a sigh, trying to come up with the right words that would explain herself without giving out the completely wrong impression to the blonde woman. "It's not that..."

"It's alright, I don't blame you," the blonde interrupted. "I wouldn't like me either if I were you."

"It's not a matter of liking you or not," she said, shaking her head. "It's about trusting you," she argued. "I've been more than ready to judge you for all your crimes, for everything you've done..." she trailed off, frowning slightly when green eyes adverted away. "But I never heard your case," she finished.

The young woman across from her seemed to find the striped pattern of her skirt quite interesting as she traced them down with long, slightly fidgeting fingers. Nothing but silence extended between the two, and Ami was starting to get extremely uncomfortable by now.

"So?" she inquired. "You have nothing to say?"

The blonde shrugged. "There's not much to say..."

"What happened?" she asked, unable and unwilling to hide the demanding tone in her voice. "Back then, what happened?"

Letting out a sigh, green eyes looked straight at her, not without giving her a tired look. One that silently stated hers was a rather stupid question. "You already know..."

"No, I don't," Ami was fast to interrupt. "Apparently, everything I thought I knew is a lie, and I'm sorry if I'm thinking too much of myself here, but I believe I deserve to know."

A mix between a sigh and a sad, tired laugh escaped the blonde then, as green eyes wandered around the room. And Ami didn't need to look too hard or study her expression too much to know, Zoe was fighting against herself, against one memory or another.

She saw her circling her shoulder, slowly and slightly, as if trying to relieve pain. And she frowned, wondering what exactly was going through the blonde's head right now. But she barely had time to ponder upon that, as Zoe started talking again.

"I was weak, Beryl took over, end of story. That's it."

"Is it?" she asked, unsure.

"Yes."

Her eyes were hard. The usually soft emeralds looked hardened, and Ami knew she was lying.

"I don't believe you."

"Well, it's the truth," Zoe argued, with a set, decided frown in her face.

"No, it's not. So tell me what really happened," she insisted. "Please, Zoe, I…"

Something flashed through green eyes. Something that made her stop midsentence. But before Ami could even begin to try to understand, Zoe fought it off, putting on a mask instead.

"Look, if you want to hate me, that's fine," Zoe interrupted, standing up and ready to put an end to the entire conversation. "Like I said, I don't blame you. Just… let it go."

"No," she insisted. "I want to know…"

"It's easier that way, ok?" Zoe interrupted, in a tone of voice that bordered on begging as pain and shame and something else crossed through green orbs. But, again, she shook it off and composed herself; her eyes turning hard and decided once more. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

She frowned. "How do you know? How can you possibly know…?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Zoe interrupted, in a tone that clearly stated she was losing her patience. "Let it go," she said again, this time low and slow, in a warning tone that didn't escape her.

Ami didn't budge. With a set, determined expression of her own, she asked again.

"What happened, Zoe?"

.-.

Forcing his horse to a stop, he closed his eyes, trying to pick up on the track. A scent, a feeling, a certain aura, a trace of some sort; anything, really, that would lead him to her.

Three hours.

It had been three hours since the last time he sensed her. And for three hours, he had been trying to keep the others at bay, forcing himself to stay calm not to alert them. The distance served him well, but he also knew better than to actually believe he was fooling any of them; there was just no way they had not picked up on the void, that sudden, unnatural void where Zoisite's presence should to be.

The King was keeping the Prince occupied for the time being, but he could sense his growing concern. He knew it wouldn't take long before Endymion would join him out there, and he wanted to avoid that; he didn't want to give those rebels even the illusion of being able to take the Prince down.

Dismounting, he knelt down on the floor, trying to see if the rain had left any tracks for him to follow. It hadn't been a strong rain; merely a passing cloud carrying water. But it had been enough to turn everything around to mud and leaving no prints behind.

An almost imperceptible sound coming from the left caught his attention, and he stood up again. Placing a hand over the hilt of the sword resting at the side of his hips, but not unsheathing it, he wished it were his vow instead as he slowly made his way past the trees and to where the sound had just came from. And when it came again, barely a bit louder this time, he was able to recognize what it was.

A shuddering gasp.

Someone out there seemed to be in pain. But he couldn't pick on anything.

"Who's out there?" he shouted out, now unsheathing his sword and forgetting all about keeping his own fears to himself as his instincts told him there was something terribly wrong. "Show yourself!"

Nothing.

That's all there was. Absolutely nothing. And then…

.-.

"Do you know what it feels like, to feel nothing?"

Purple eyes bored into him as she shook her head, barely, as if she was afraid to say anything at all.

"Love, hate… boredom," he counted. "Even indifference. All emotions," he explained. "It's what makes us human. It's not natural not to feel anything."

"Jei…"

"She was the last one to fall, did you know that?" he asked before Rei could say anything, even though he already knew the answer.

He knew what she thought. What everyone thought. And neither of them, not him, not his brothers in arms, and certainly not Endymion himself had ever tried to correct that mistaken assumption.

"She was so far gone…" he trailed off, letting his eyes wander around the room. "I couldn't reach her. I tried. I swear I did, but…"

"What do you mean she was gone?" she asked, frowning, though he knew she wasn't nearly as confused or lost as she looked like.

"She just… shut herself off," he answered. "It was as if she wasn't even there at all. Even Beryl had trouble reaching her, and she had this way of… getting to people when they were most vulnerable," he explained. "When they were hurt and weak and… just vulnerable… she would come in, twist your thought and memories, and then suck your soul right out of you."

"Like she did with Mamoru," Rei put in, nodding her head in understanding.

He turned to look at her then. The look in those violet eyes was so intense; so sad and understanding. Compassionate.

There was compassion in her eyes, and that was something he hadn't expected. Not towards him, at least.

"She went to visit Mercury that night," he said. And when the Miko beside him nodded her head, he guessed Ami had told her something about that. Or maybe she had seen it herself. "Kunzite and Nephrite were away. Endymion was locked up with the King. They had been talking for hours…"

He chuckled sadly at the memory.

He remembered perfectly well what the Prince and the King had been talking about. He remembered Endymion's determination to talk his father into going to the Alliance for help and advice. He knew the Alliance would see that as an act of humility -something they were convinced the earthlings lacked of. Regardless of his own particular interest in finally achieving peace and getting into good terms with the Alliance, the Prince's heart had been in the right place; for the growing rebellions and the uneasy, evil energy they could feel, hidden in the deepest corners of the earth, the Alliance would be more than a mere political ally.

The King agreed to that, if his memory didn't fail him. But his Highness was also fully aware of the growing resent and distrust towards the people of the Moon, and he feared that, when accepting a peace treaty with them, he would be involuntary provoking a mutiny. In the King's eyes, such alliance had to wait; first, they needed to win their own people's trust in their voice and actions back.

"Someone had to be there," he continued. "We couldn't just disappear, all four of us, and I had to cover for Zoisite," he explained. "I remember being there, just sitting around and bored to death, thinking how much I rather be up there with her and… you know…" he trailed off, chuckling lightly when a tint of red came rushing to Rei's cheeks. "Pay you a little visit," he finished.

"It was the Harvest Festival," she argued, only to make him chuckle again.

As if that would have stopped him…

"Right," he said, shaking his head. "Anyway. I don't know what happened… I'm guessing she told Mercury the truth," he ventured, nodding his head in return when Rei nodded herself. "All I know is, when she came back, she was happy," he continued. "I got this… bubbling, cozy feeling from her," he said, chuckling again. "So, you know. I assumed things went well with Mercury. But then something happened. My face burned, my arms felt as if they were about to break, my chest hurt," he said, rubbing his chest as memories from that night invaded him.

"It was coming from her," Rei guessed.

He nodded. "I knew something was wrong," he said. "I knew something was terribly wrong when I got this… pure horror pouring out of her."

He frowned at that; he had always wondered about that.

They had trained. During the passing years, they had all trained so hard, working on their bond. And they had reached a point where they could easily let one another know their location in case of danger. And yet, that night, Zoisite never reached for him.

She never reached for anyone. Scared, horrified and humiliated as she had been, she bore it all alone, as if she was just too petrified to even remember how to use their link.

"I could almost feel her pain. And then…"

He closed his eyes, fighting the images filling his mind.

"And then what?" the Miko asked, in barely a trembling whisper.

"Nothing," he said, opening his eyes again and turning to look at her. "It felt as if someone just turned the switch off, and she just wasn't there anymore," he said, unable to keep his own voice from trembling as well.

He swallowed hard, rubbing his hands against his pants. Resting his elbows on his knees, he took a deep breath, trying to steady his own voice and mind as the images kept on filling his mind.

"I looked everywhere," he continued. "I looked everywhere for her, and when I found her, she… she was just… wandering in the woods…"

.-.

"Who told you?"

She wasn't quite sure of what surprised her the most; the recriminating tone, or the question in itself.

"Tell me what?" she asked back, frowning. "No one told me…"

"Bullshit," the hard, accusing exclamation forced her to shut up, blinking at the blonde woman as she paced around the room. "Who told you?" she demanded.

"No one!" she exclaimed, standing up as well. "No one told me anything! And I would really like to know what it is that I don't know!" she said, not giving in under the blonde's hard gaze. "Why are you being so defensive?" she asked. "I didn't come here to accuse you of anything. I just want to know the truth."

Zoe didn't say anything. Instead, she turned around and walked up to the window, looking up at some point in the sky.

It was obvious she didn't want to talk, but Ami wouldn't have it. She knew she was hiding something, and she wanted, needed to know.

"Just… just tell me what happened," she pleaded. "Why… if it wasn't Beryl, then why did you break the bond like that?"

"I didn't."

"Then who did?"

"I don't know!" Zoe exclaimed, shaking her shoulders. She turned to look at her for a moment, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't… I don't remember…" she admitted. "Much," she added, adverting her eyes away. "I don't want to remember."

She frowned at that, walking up to the blonde and standing right next to her by the window.

"Please, just… let it go, ok?" Zoe begged. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yes, it does," she argued.

She could see it in her eyes. Whatever it was Zoe was not telling her, whatever it was she was so desperately trying to hide -to forget? To run away from?-, it still hurt her. And if only because of that, because it still haunted the blonde, Ami knew it mattered.

"You owe me that much," she said, not really meaning it -not anymore.

She couldn't even imagine what it could be. All the wrongs she could imagine, the torment, the torturing, the pain, both physical and mental, with Metallia's dark energy invading her every pore, her every thought; she couldn't think of anything worse than that. And Zoisite had probably gone through it all, anyway.

Never an easy one to fool, always so smart and cautious, it had always bugged her, how easily Zoisite gave in to the Dark Kingdom's control. That, more than whatever history they had shared, was that had always bothered Ami to no ends. How could such a smart, proud, intelligent woman fall so easily? And if there has been no real betrayal, as Mamoru said, then what was it? What could possibly be so bad that led the Shitennou straight into Beryl's claws?

A long, tired sigh escaped the other woman, as green eyes gazed into her blue ones. "You're not gonna let this go, are you?"

She shook her head, waiting for Zoe to say something, anything else.

A voice inside her told her she shouldn't push it. Whatever it was, it was obviously private. But there was something… there was just something in those green eyes, and she just couldn't let it go. She had to know.

"Damn it," the blonde mumbled under her breath, turning around and sitting on the window's ledge, resting her back against the glass and closing her eyes for a moment.

And she stood there, patiently waiting for the woman to ready herself, to will the words to come. And when, finally, Zoe started talking, it almost felt as if it wasn't her the one saying the words at all.

"That night, after I came back, I ran into some soldiers," she began, looking straight ahead and into nothing in particular. "There were rumors going around… The rebels were starting to grow in numbers, resentful of the Moon Kingdom and its people. We all knew about it."

She nodded, encouraging the blonde to go on, for that was nothing new to her.

"But I guess none of us thought it was that serious," she said. "I mean, we never thought it would reach the Palace so fast…"

"You were ambushed?" she guessed, more than just a little bit incredulous.

It was hard to believe. As absurd as the idea of Zoisite being ambushed was, such a thing as soldiers betraying the Golden Crown escaping Kunzite's watchful, careful eye was even harder to imagine.

The blonde frowned, tilting her head to a side. "Guess you can call it that," she mumbled. "They knew where I was coming from," she continued. "Maybe they were spies… I don't know… but they knew, and they… well, they weren't happy. They said something about castrating me," she said, snorting and rolling her eyes, in sardonic mockery. "I remember them saying something about how it would send a message to the Prince," Zoe was saying. "But then they found out I'm a girl, and…"

The blonde trailed off, and a shudder ran up and down Ami's spine.

Zoe's words felt detached, as if she was just describing a scene. As if she was trying to distance herself from the tale. And as blue eyes started to slowly go wide and open as a sudden, brutal idea started forming in her mind, Ami began to understand why that was.

"I guess they came up with a better idea."

.-.

At first it was only a silhouette.

A shadow meandering around, giving stumbling, shaking steps as arms and legs seemed to jolt compulsively and erratically, on their own accord. But as the clouds cleared out, giving way to the moonlight, his own blue eyes went wide opened in horror.

The hair, tangled and wet, was no longer sandy blonde, but of a darker, covered in mud shade. Black and purple covered the once fair skin, with dried blood and mud all over. There were restraining marks and bruises in arms, wrists and ankles; the nose seemed to be broken, and the left eye was swollen and purple, barely opened.

Fresh blood was still running down naked legs, in a small river that tainted thighs, knees and ankles. And as he finally realized who the meandering, naked figure was, green eyes dulled and a completely blank expression, his own blood froze.

"Zoisite!"

.-.

He closed his eyes to the flooding images, shaking his head.

"Her face was all swollen up, she had scratches and bruises all over and… and there was blood…" he trailed off again. "God, there was so much blood, everywhere…"

Rei gasped, and he turned to look at her.

"They raped her," he said, unable to keep the rage out of his own voice. "Those fucking bastards raped her."