Inuyasha and Kikyou

Kaede wiped a stray tear from her cheek and sighed as Kagome tended to her broken wrist. Kagome immediately apologised for hurting the older woman, but Kaede smiled and said she was not hurt. It was just that Kagome had reminded her strongly of Kikyou, when her sister had tended her in some childish ailment or scrape. Kaede had got into quite a few messes as a child, especially after she met Inuyasha. As her mind slipped back to those days, she didn't notice Kagome's gasp and the tears that adorned her cheeks. But when she did;

"Kagome my child, whatever is the matter?"

"I'm so sorry Kaede; in all the time I've known you...I only considered Inuyasha with Kikyou, never thinking of how you felt, even knowing that she was your sister."

"Goodness Kagome, stop being silly; ye have never made me feel ill at ease and I have never seen ye as exactly the same as Kikyou, resemblances but that is all. It was all the circumstances that told me who ye were, more than thy looks or demeanour. In fact ye were more like sisters than incarnates; far more like, than her unattractive real little sister ever seemed."

"Are you still wittering on about being an ugly brat, Brat? You were no different to any other kid; all kids look strange at different ages. I'm going outside to keep my two company." Inuyasha choked a little on the word two, but then he was gone and Kaede smiled gently at Kagome.

"When he joins in with them he's just another kid. He also hates to lose and they squabble as if they are all the same age." Kagome said ruefully.

"Well, I suppose it makes sense, it is the first time the child has had friends to play with; I was the first after his mother, but he never had any before me."

"I never really thought...Kaede can you tell me what it was like for Inuyasha and Kikyou?"

"Ye should really ask thy husband Kagome; it is not my place to tell ye."

"I can't; he doesn't mention her very much. He thinks I will still react as I did when I was fifteen and get upset; but I won't, I probably understand better than he does all of what happened between us."

"I daresay ye probably do; the boy was always confused by my sister. I can only tell ye how I saw them, nothing that happened privately as I was not there; besides as I said that would not be mine to tell and only Inuyasha can tell ye. Ye should prove to him that ye will not get upset, he will not bring the subject up, it will be up to ye."

"Please..."

"I blame myself for comparing ye to Kikyou in the first place; I think perhaps Inuyasha would not have made the connection, his senses being more in tune than just taking anything on sight value."

"He did though Kaede; he called me Kikyou the moment I woke him. Then he scented me and told me I was revolting or something like that..."

"The impression would have left him though."

"It would have changed nothing in the long run; don't worry about it, please just tell me a story about them."

"There are not many stories about them alone Kagome that ye don't know; but I will tell ye from my own perspective and remember that I was a child. I told ye about Inuyasha rescuing me and that Kikyou was grateful, I think that stopped her from killing him on sight. But they both had a perverse game where they would pretend to be enemies and Kikyou would pin Inuyasha to trees by his clothing. A bit macabre sometimes, but he always came back for more.

"Actually most of the time, Kikyou was very busy as the local Miko and she travelled to many other villages. Inuyasha often followed her, guarding; but he stayed out of the way because it wouldn't do for her to be seen with or sympathetic towards a hanyou or any with youkai blood. Most of the time, he just watched her, on his own or oftentimes with me. He probably spent more time in my company than Kikyou's to tell the truth."

"How then did they fall in love, because I know that they did?"

"Aye, they did; very gently and sweetly...and very innocently. They knew the love of boy and girl, but not that of man and woman. Kikyou was turned eighteen, but she was older than Inuyasha in human terms. He was older in actual years of course, but was the youkai equivalent of not even a fifteen year old boy; mid adolescent and hormonal."

"I forget how young he is still in youkai terms."

"Aye well he has a great deal of experience of life but...I used to think he looked like a puppy following his master when he and Kikyou were together, even more so when we were bored waiting for her. We often had wrestling matches and rolled down the hills on the other side to the village; I have one regret from all of that time, he was not allowed by Kikyou to jump me up to the top of trees. I don't know if she was afraid I'd fall, or whether I'd be seen; but I'd dearly have loved to go right to the top."

"I have often wished to be more like Kikyou; I thought that maybe when I reached twenty I might be more poised like her." Kagome whispered. Kaede looked at her and considered what she was going to say carefully.

"Ye are very different most of the time; the Kikyou ye knew was mostly cold or angry; but that was not my sister, she was beautiful, serene and calm and was very kind. I don't think Inuyasha could help but be drawn to her; she was like an oasis in his very love barren life. But now I think there is more, although I don't want ye to get the wrong idea."

"I won't Kaede, I am a mother and wife; I know Inuyasha."

"I have watched our hanyou over many years now and I think there was also a subconscious drawing towards Kikyou; not for her love, but her approval, her acceptance. My sister's manner was very like someone else's; someone from who Inuyasha also craved approval."

"You mean Sesshoumaru? You think because he always wanted his brother's regard and love Inuyasha was attracted to Kikyou?"

"Yes, in a way; it seems to me that Inuyasha has always craved affection from Sesshoumaru and on the surface Kikyou and the Youkai Lord were similar in personality. He was not much more than a child searching for belonging."

"You are not suggesting..."

"No Kagome, I most certainly am not...there was just a familiarity in demeanour, Inuyasha was drawn to her personality, because she was very like the only pack member he knew. Inuyasha and Kikyou would never have made such a good match as ye, he needs someone to argue with and tussle against, and my sister was far too gracious to have joined in. She would never argue or even debate with him; the spark which ignites between ye two was never there with them. To be honest, it was probably only because he was older that she didn't see him as one of the children that needed her help."

"You don't kiss a child as they did Kaede."

"No, nor an experienced lover, but there was not much more; they had an idealistic idea of thy 'happily ever afters' Kagome, although it was not thought out very well. I must say, the clay version of my sister was far more tactical than she was before she died."

"Is that how you really see it Kaede?"

"I have no need to try and fool ye Kagome; I can honestly say that at the time I used to think that they looked like two lonely children at play, I have never changed my thought. There was one time when I saw her putting on lip colour from a shell and I knew it was for Inuyasha; he had given her the gift, a last memento from his mother.

The memory comes to mind on occasion because I saw her smiling and genuinely happy; but she doesn't remind me of a young woman putting on make-up for a suitor, so much as a girl playing dress up with her mother's things."

"Poor Kikyou, she didn't have much of a life did she?"

"She was in the main contented and enjoyed being a Miko, helping the children and the sick. She would have made a wonderful mother and that is what she would have rather been, a normal woman. The sad thing is, she didn't realise she could have had both as ye have...but then would she have chosen him as a hanyou? There are many answers but all are speculation."

"I think she would, she did love him."

"I don't doubt their love Kagome." Kaede looked into the fire for a moment, once again remembering a serious girl who was a gentle older sister, with great affection. Kagome watched her and thought on all she had said, and gained a little insight of her own.

"Would you have chosen a hanyou Kaede?" She whispered so as not to startle the elderly lady from her thoughts.

"Yes Kagome; I would have chosen a hanyou.

30 Shards Community; Inuyasha and Kaede, shard #18, Gift.