Chapter 21 - On a different battlefront

Log 721

This week, Jax came over to the bar to tell me about a new recruit he had over a drink. Possible champion to boot as well, in 4 months. Business wise, this is a capitalist's dream of course. Quality new staff are hard to find, but finding one and she's a champion as well? Double whammy. If she gets popular in the league, her fan boys will be lining up to visit the bar, and they're going to be paying plenty for drinks. I get to meet the new potential in a week, apparently Jax has to "wrap up a few strings" to make sure she's steered this way. I've known the troublemaker long enough to not ask what he means by that. Some things are best left under the table. Actually, most things are best left under the table when Jax is involved. I learned that lesson years ago now.

Log 726

Today Jax brought in the new girl. I can't say I was impressed. But I did expect it. Tangled mat of white hair, unkempt and cut short for efficiency. Walks like a man. Face was dirty, unwashed, food stains on her tunic, along with other sweat stains - likely. She probably only showers as necessary for a soldier. I could see ingrained habits of looking around constantly for dangers. As skittish as a squirrel. Her body was... well she's got more muscles than I do. Chest was bound, all in all, her androgynous face made it hard to separate her gender without the proper cues. To be blunt: She looked like some homeless veteran picked up off the street. Miranda will have to throw on some heavy magic makeup spells and make this girl look like woman and less like a hobo. A bit of conventional makeup, several pounds of shampoo and some quality time, Miranda would work her magic and the new recruit would come out of it looking like a model.

She didn't want to be a Battle Bunny too, that was pretty damn clear after talking for a few minutes, but that left her system when we started talking salary. Her eye lit up when I told her starting wages, and that wasn't even the clincher funny enough. I was having second doubts even hiring her, but the possible future champion was too promising of an opportunity to pass up on. Especially after Jax told me her current track record, which was pretty damn promising. Investment wise, there was no way in hell I'd let her run out the door without a contract.
It was the chef's cooking that sold it for her funny enough. We had a dish prepared for us while we talked, and when I answered she would get free meals during her break hours complimentary of the Chef, she basically sold her soul to this bar.

Log 727

We brought her after hours to meet her co-workers. Seeing all of them in bunny suits shook her up a bit, but the crew welcomed her in like a new sister. Most girls can be catty with one another. Not my Battle Bunnies, Lady and I taught them to be better than that. Sisters in arms is an appropriate term. They introduced her to the full team. Including the Chef (and a taste of his goods again), the lady (The only Battle Bunny that knows how to prepare every single drink on the menu, she's the full time bartender.), and each other. They didn't waste a moment and started straightaway in training her. When I left, they were already teaching how to walk in heels. I'm reminded a bit of the old days, when it was only Lady and I coaching the girls. Way back when we started this little venture with her. Now, I don't have to do a thing except book-keep and do paperwork. The team works like a well-oiled machine. This bar could be related to a military regiment under the hood really. I think the soldier in Riven caught onto that subtle fact and appreciated it greatly. If she was looking for a different kind of fight, she'd find an elite squad of man-killers in bunny suits and they'd teach her everything there was to know about getting any man to spend their entire wallets in one night - the whole book. It was long one too.

Log 734

Today, the lady asked me to come over after hours to see the new recruit. Apparently they'd already gotten to that point now, for her first official trial. She learns fast - lightning fast. Most recruits take at least 2 weeks before they're ready for the first test. Took Riven half the time.
They've been training her each day after the bar's cleared for the night. Today would be the third day she'd wear the suit, but the first day she'd show anyone other than girls the secret. She invited Lux, (The champion Lux - Miranda was pretty much squealing in joy when she heard the guest lineup. Legend has it, Lux is so good at her craft, she can make herself look like a muscled mustached man even. Miranda's good, but nowhere near that level.)

Lux on her end invited a random summoner, I think Riven's Ex-summoner and Jax found out about it, so he showed up too. No surprises there.
It took a bit of time to pry Riven out of her changing room, but the moment she stepped out and went to work on what the girls taught her, I realized exactly why the Lady said she was ready.

Riven

I peered into the ionized mirror and what stared back at me wasn't anything I recognized from my world. As if from nothing, everything about me had changed.

The ears at least were as fluffy as my stuffed rabbit, but I had never thought in my lifetime I'd be wearing that same accessory. My arms looked far more slender, the tone muscles surgically hidden by magic and my figure seemed much more... girlish? Hair was now longer, neatly cleaned, and spiked in an inverted ponytail. The first thing Miranda changed when she went to war on my appearance.

We had a back and forth argument on that issue, I had always kept a short cut to avoid problems in a fight. She wanted me to have long hair, which was completely inefficient, for obvious reasons. We came to a compromise. Looking in the mirror, I suddenly realize just what I had been missing on my entire life. Maybe having long hair might not be such a bad idea...

I had painting on my face, the girls joked it was the war-paint of the table. Conventional makeup it was called - a woman's thing. It blended with my face so naturally, I had to look to find it. Hidden in plain sight, the term could not be more fitting. Just a few light blushes, eyeliner, and dark powder - That person on the mirror wasn't Riven anymore. My transformation was complete.

I looked... good. That's a word I'd almost never used in normal conversation.

I never cared how I looked before, but now, though the mirror, I couldn't help but feel a bit giddy, and vain. Which infuriated me when I caught myself.

"Oh my...you look adorable! And sexy too boot! Careful with the guys, you might be a heartbreak walking on heels,"
Giggling behind me. My future co-workers had passed the last week teaching me every last trick they knew. It was rigorous, and there were subtle hints, cues and mannerisms I had to learn on the spot. That included a huge slew of hidden tactical signs the staff would throw one another in the midst of their jobs. Mike had always boasted his Bar was far more than meets the eye, and after a week... to say I had newfound respect for the girls who manned the posts here, would be an understatement. At the very least, with this training, I wouldn't ever have to worry about knowing the steps to seduction. I considered the possibilities that might open.
Suddenly, that rift I've always felt between the Noxian girls that had remained behind learning how to be woman, and I - who'd just learned to fight instead - had shrunk to a manageable step. I might even beat them at their own game now.

I grinned in the mirror for that, and then frowned once again, snarling at my newfound vanity.
Vanity is for the weak! What was I doing? By Noxus, this place is changing me! In really good ways... just look at that hair, it looks amazing! I'd like to see those pompous noxian girls make fun of me n-STOP!

"Don't worry about your image Riven," Higgs once told me during a coffee break, after I'd confessed I didn't want this job to hinder my ultimate goal. Noxians put little thought into what a person does in their personal time - so long as there were results to show for. But the thought of a revolutionary that did this as her side job didn't appeal a great deal. "With makeup, everyone will believe you're just some other girl that has nothing to do with Riven. This could be your alter-ego even. You moonlight a battle bunny."
"Alter ego?" I asked, puzzled.
"Sometimes, you want to be someone else for a day. To drop all your worries, burdens, and be someone completely unrelated to who you are. Pantheon's and Morgana are bakers for example - although they don't make it quite secret. This could be it for you. Mull on that champion."

I watched my face in the mirror. What stared back at me wasn't a soldier. Not even close. She was just a surprised civilian woman. I smiled, watching her reflected smile back. It didn't look forced, it looked natural. As if she obviously belonged to the fantasies of home the soldiers bragged about and longed to return to. No - not just belonged there - thrived there. STOP. I yelled at myself, once more catching the feeling by the throat. THIS VANITY.

The change was permanent too. Miranda wouldn't do this makeup routine daily. It'd taken her 4 hours to get everything set. I didn't argue with either. Everything was superficial, illusions. Just like the spells Lux wove. Even with my now skinny girly arms, I still felt the strength of my years behind them. I posed around in the mirror practicing the stances my co-workers had shown me, examining how she sculpted my back, my legs, everything.

I came to a final conclusion that I liked how I looked. But before I could yell at my lack of discipline with my feelings again, I thought deeply. This would be my life for the next 4 months. Why make them miserable? Why argue with myself, or fight or try to remain a soldier? No point. None at all. I'm no longer a soldier, I'm a champion of the league of legends, but before I become that, I am a battle bunny in the most famous bar on the Noxian side of town. One thing at a time - I'd do this job to the letter as expected of me. And if that included feelings of vanity or goodie-goodie-giddiness, then that's how it's going to be.

My mirror self nodded sagely to me. A good conclusion.

Sitting up from my seat, I decided I had stared at my changed reflection enough, instead the reflection of Amy came into light treading slowly behind me. Thankfully the girls walked in the same suit I was in - they had them on every single time I was around, except when walking home. If they can do it with such ease, so can I. Each day, the feeling of unease was rapidly fading.

The rest of the staff at the Battle Bunny had taken me in as if I was a new family member, and refused to let me shy away. I didn't know what to think about that, I still don't.

"A heartbreak you say?" I whispered out, remembering her original comment. Amy's voice drifted next to my ears, along with her hands. "You'll do fine. Remember the first day when you couldn't even walk on heels? Now look at you yesterday, serving the lady. Keep in mind, tonight's just for the people you know. No one else. Bar's empty. You can't feel embarrassed just yet." She said with a wink.

"There were more people then I asked to come!" I hissed. Trotting around in this suit with the other girls was one thing, doing it in front of Jax and Higgs was completely different!
"And there will be even more people on your regular days, plenty of them you won't even know. You can do this." The dressed up girl beamed a smile at me. I just sighed deeply. Seemed like there was no helping it.

The job itself was simple. I reminded myself. How you presented yourself was the difficult part, that part that mattered.
That and walking in heels.

Higgs

The bar was deserted, with just a few Bunny girls cleaning out the tables to break the silence. It's funny, because just standing you could tell this bar was anything but silent. The stage to the right was mournfully empty, still housing some forgotten instruments, chairs disorganized among the tables - evidence of the noise they had seated before. Or rather beared with. Beer stains, crooked paintings and well treaded floorboards. Everywhere you look, there were remnants of sound, laughter and heavy abuse. This bar was tough, and old.

Made the bar feel more relaxed to see it this empty, as if it was winding down from a difficult day. The atmosphere was lazy.
Lux was talking excitedly to another woman about fluxes and magic, certainly something I might understand, but I didn't want to work today. I had enough about magic on a daily basis to have it hound after me to the bars. Next to me, Jax and another man were having their own conversation, and it was completely polar to what Lux and her friend were blabbing about. Involved a lot more women, and a lot less science.

I didn't really care to join into that either, since I had Kate. Which left me the odd man out, twiddling my thumbs and waiting for something to happen.

Riven had arrived a moment ago, dressed in her usual garb but she looked... different. There was no other way of even coming close to describing her transformation when I first saw her at a coffee shop a few days ago. I remember a man-girl originally. I remember thinking I was introducing myself to a barbarian. Now, she seemed too skinny for her rags. With her hair washed, and actually styled too. The distinction on her gender was also crystal clear - she was a woman and any man's eyes were drawn to her like magnets. Hopefully she understood that with great power, and boobs, comes great responsibility.

She saw us as she entered through the door, and gave a crippling look at Lux once she glanced at Jax and I. Instead of meeting either of our eyes, she turned and stormed into the back room without a word. Two of the bunny girls shared glances, and quickly followed behind her.

"Oh I am so looking forward to that date she promised me." Jax mumbled, stunned by her changed character.

"You mean the date you forced on her with your bets?" I elbowed Jax back.
"Guilty as charged Higgy. But this grandmaster won, no shame in enjoying the spoils."
"I seriously doubt you have ever felt shame before in your life Jax. Especially after the strings you pulled to force Riven in this job."
"But the prize Higgy. Think of the prize." Jax unmistakably smirked. Even with his helmet, I could imagine it easily. Today his hard work had come to fruition, being about as underhanded as a Bridgewater poker player to boot.

Didn't take long for me to be bored out of my mind with no one to talk to once the show was over. I'm a chatterbox of mysterious goodness. Woe is me with nothing to do.
The back of the bar drew me in, and there sat another bunny girl, cleaning out a glass. She was a siren and I was an unlucky sailor from the looks of things. It was like gravity, before I knew it, I was already reaching for the chair. "What's on your mind hun?" She asked softly when I sat down on the opposite side.

"Uhhh, You guys still serve drinks? Thought you were closed." I shot out, opening with small talk. She sat down the glass she'd been polishing, and leaned forward over the counter. That pose had to be practiced. Had to. From the way her back arched just slightly, to her chest showing off just slightly. I gulped, and flicked my look onto the side wall, which made her laugh.
"Most people wouldn't look away. You've got a girl back home, don't you? Awww, That's adorable."
I nodded to the wall, and didn't dare look. Instead I watched Jax's friend point to Lux and ask her to visit the backroom. Something about Riven and being shy. Riven must be having problems in there I concluded. That's not too surprising.

"I'm not serving you a drink just yet, my cute little summoner. Riven needs practice, so get in your head what drink you'd like, and ask her when she comes to your table. Now then, what's on your mind?"
Now the question made sense to me. Talk for talk's sake, same idea I had. I was down with that plan.
"How's she handling all this?" I asked cautiously. I almost didn't want to hear the answer. If she made trouble, that'd be the end of me after all. What I got surprised me.
"She's modest, but all girls like attention. That poor girl hasn't had any of the right attention for her entire life. She'll either love this place, or hate it. But I know she'll come to see the light side of this work."
"You know?"
Her hand cupped my chin suddenly, and brushed passed to rest on my cheek. She pulled my head away from the wall back to her with that hand. It was utterly amazing how little command I had on myself now. Even if I wanted to keep staring at the wall, her hand and glance made sure I wouldn't.
"I know." She whispered out, close enough for me to gulp. "That's the difference. She's already a part of our little family you could say. Feels responsible for us. It's funny how something completely unrelated to work could do that."
"Good story?" I asked curious.
"Hmmm," She hummed cryptically, "Wouldn't you like to know?" Her hand left my cheek, and turned to pour herself a rich clear brown drink. Then the two split up, one stirring the drink enigmatically, the other propping her bored head up. Her eyes followed my own, the glance kept me rooted in place. Kate would roast me alive if she saw me now, I guiltily gulped as the thought lazed through my mind.

"Most of the girls here leave one by one. We have Rob and Tony escort them home. Dangerous work you know? Some men can wait for hours outside, waiting for 'their' girl to leave. Hasn't been the first time our two bouncers got into a fight. Won't be the last either."
"Figures." I sighed. Of course there'd be trouble.
"Miranda has spells put around the bar and the houses we live in so we're safe enough. But between here and there, at night, that's a different story."

I heard some ruckus in the backroom, but I didn't pay too much attention to it. The world could be ending, and I wouldn't pay too much attention to that either.
"Riven told Amy and Gin she was a champion and had battled against the likes of Xin, Uldyr, and the heroes of the league. And won. That got the girl's attention. They love a hero, that pair. To have one among them - even if kicked temporarily out of the league - well that's something special. So they decided they'd go home with Riven instead of the bodyguards that night."
"I can sort of see where this is going." I said, knowing the Noxian in question. "Who'd she terrorize now?"
The girl grinned at me. "Eddie. We threw him out of the bar and told him to hit the road and never come back a long while ago. Old story. Riven spotted him from a mile away, stalking behind the group real sneaky like. But not sneaky enough. Chased him down in seconds. I hear it was... impressive. Turns out, he'd been following girls home each night, waiting for the one night there'd be a slip up. But we never even knew about it. Tony and Rob aren't hunters. They're just bouncers."
"I could see how that would work out. She let him go though right? No trouble I hope."
This time, the bartender frowned.
"She let him go without a scratch but scared him out of his wits. He's not a poor man, Eddie. Just a crude one, with money. Has a bunch of pride too, he couldn't stand that humiliation. Not one bit."
"So what happened after? I'm assuming this Eddie decided to pay another visit."
"Aren't you so clever summoner?" Another thin smile, another stir of her drink. "The next night, he put out a good chunk of his money and assembled an army of thugs. After the heroics of yesterday, five girls went home with Riven. Saves them time you see? She bragged she could walk home in her bunny suit - heels and all - and not worry about any man, beast or power. She's a proud one that one. Once it got to her head... I'd say she could even fight in the league in a bunny suit. With the world's eyes watching, if she wanted to prove she could just do it. They planned to have a girl's night out after."

She paused for a moment, eyeing me with a look that begged for attention.
"Well, go on!" I hissed. That made her smile wider, and she indulged me. "The thugs attacked. 12 of them, they surrounded the group. Eddie in the back givin' all the girls the evil eye and shouting nasty things he'd do. Starting with Riven, since she had her suit on and that drew all their attention. The girls here know how to woo a man into having the best night of his life - But fightin', now that's something else. Not to Riven though. She didn't take very kindly to what Eddie had to tell her. Not. One. Bit."

She took a sip of her drink, keeping a close eye at my reaction. She was testing for something I noticed. I put that out of my mind, I was here for fun. I had to stop being so serious. This time, no one was out to kill me - No insane chemist jumping out of the woodwork. I should really count my blessings you know?
So it was only Riven against 12 street thugs and one rich pervert. Oh dear, The poor bastards didn't know what they'd stepped on.
"I'm sorry for them." I said finally, and she laughed like bells at that. "How did you know? You're the first person I told this story to. Normally when someone's surrounded by 13 men with ill intentions, and only 5 showgirls behind as backup, that not something a betting man would put his gold on."

My turn to smile enigmatically.
"I'm her summoner. Well,Ex-summoner. Those heroes she beat in the league? My plans." I brushed my shoulder unintentionally, and found myself sitting taller. "I have to know what she's capable of in order to make the right call. 12 street thugs are no match for Riven. Not even close. He'd need at least 30 to make her even move for a better spot to fight at."

Another sip, another half inch of liquid gone from her cup. "I have to make that story sound more impressive for the next time I tell it. Here's something for you - she didn't even use her sword. Said the lowlifes were beneath the dignity of her weapon. She beat them all down, with her fists and in heels. Then, once she was finished with Eddie's goons, she reached the man himself. Lifted him with one hand, and brought him back to all the other girls. She let them decide what to do with him. Let's just put it this way: After that, Eddie will never show his face around here again."

Another stirring, another sip and another half smile. "All the girls now go home with Riven, Even I do. She's the unofficial protector of the group. Tony and Rob don't have to do that job anymore, and they're just fine without it."
She flashed me that award winning heart melting smile. The real deal, what she'd slowly been working up to. "The two were getting tired of that after the years. It was all fun at the start, Dashing heroes escorting the pretty ladies home. When neither of them had a wife at least."

"Now it's a chore for them. Mike was considering hiring new bodyguards just for that. Riven was a two in one deal, and I hear she'll be payed for her unofficial post too. Mike's a fair man, and if he's not, I am."
"Ah, that's why you say she feels responsible for the girls."
"Hmm, and that's why she'll be staying. That girl has the soul of a protector. She just doesn't know it herself yet. In her mind, the strong survive, but in her actions, the strong protect."

She gave me a wink, and flicked her half-empty cup in my direction. It slid quickly to a stop straight in front of me, the liquid tempting me, but the faint lipstick kiss on the rim even more so. "On the house," She said, back to cleaning her glasses.

They didn't mess around. Word on the street about the BB was every bit true. Thank all the gods in heaven Kate wasn't here.

Lux

The owner got my attention mid-sentence in my conversation with the rather ravishing Miranda and her clever work. She met me the moment I walked through the entrance, and didn't wait a moment before discussing crossthatching patterns, and bending light in third dimension.

I felt at home the moment I opened my mouth back. This place looked like so much fun, I seriously considered getting a job here for a few seconds. Melting men's hearts had been something I enjoyed to do in my days of work, and plenty of times it was almost required too. It was quite nostalgic to see it in action around me. Sadly, Demacia and the league kept me busy, and if it wasn't them, it'd be cleaning up after the misfits table and their troublemaking. A full time job in it's own right. Can't be helped, what would they do without me?

"Hey Lux!" The bar owner shouted to me, pausing his own (Interesting) conversation with Jax. "You're a friend of Riven's yea?" I nodded excitedly. "The girls say she's being a bit shy, so someone's gotta coax her out of there. Amy and Gin can do it, but I think it'd be faster if you talked to her. I got to be somewhere after this."
"Ok! Sounds like a plan!" I cheerily waved back.
Mike dove back into his chat with Jax, and I turned to Miranda. "You said you wanted to see if I could do it right? Watch!" I circled around looking for where Higgs might be.

My victim was calmly chatting with the bartender, and his eyes were peeled away from her, looking right around the room. No good. I had to make sure he wouldn't see me. "Miranda, can you get the bartender to keep that man's attention for a moment? It has to be him, anyone else wouldn't work for this plan."
The bunny girl nodded, "If it means I get to see the professional in action, I'm sure I can work something out. You couldn't have picked a better Bunny for this, The lady is the best of the house! That man's no match for her. Watch her work."
She caught the bartenders attention, and gave a slight wink and faint hand gesture. I almost didn't notice it. Almost. You know, Riven had told me over lunch one day that the girls here at the bar were a coordinated military group of man-eating murder bunnies. I hadn't believed her. Watching it in action, I suddenly withdraw my comment.

The bartender worked smoothly, and in a moment, Higgs was no longer a problem. She had literally grabbed his attention with one sweep of her hand, and that was it. He was putty in her care. She shot me a raised eyebrow and a soft smile.

I had no doubts I was watching the best of the best. Maybe I should take lessons from her even. That thought made me giggle. I hadn't had lessons from anyone since I was 14 years old. Now that would be nostalgic!

I bounced off to the backroom, and waved down Miranda until I was sure she was watching. She smiled at me, and instantly drew back in her seat in shock at my next display. I gave a curt bow after the last traces of magic had vanished on my figure. She stifled a knowing laugh, likely already understanding my plans. With that, I was off to adventure into the hidden lands no man was allowed in, before the man in question would notice.

First denizens of the backroom I met, 3 seconds into the adventure, were the fabled Battle Bunnies in their natural habitat.

Two girls were chatting with one another about how to pry a wild Riven out, they seemed distressed about it. Apparently their attempts to coax her out gently had failed miserably. Looks like a job for the heroic Summoner Malcom Higgs, I concluded.

"Hello ladies," I said in my deepest voice. They looked at me stunned for a moment, "Don't worry your pretty little tails, I'm Riven's Boyfriend." I introduced myself with a flourish. The boyfriend part would make for a very funny story latter, once Riven got word of that. I could imagine how the Noxian's face would go from horrified to outraged. But if I laughed now I'd blow it. "If I can't get her out of there, nobody can." I flashed them a confident smile and wink that screamed: I know exactly what I'm doing.

"Wish you the best of luck," The first said, passing by me, and giving a wanton look with a faint kiss in the air a moment after. I felt her puff lick my cheek.
The other was cheekier (Pun intended), she brushed past me with a solid peck. "She's lucky to have such a man in her life. I'll leave her in your tender care Summoner," she whispered in my ear, and off she went.
I could hear the effort she put into not laughing her tail off at that as she floated past me. Well. With the citizens of the lockeroom gone, I could go about my plan in peace.

I swaggered to the locked door, and knocked. "Riven, common. I know you can strut around and prepare drinks." I said, chuckling. In my hands, my lockpick tools were already reaching for the poor lock the owners had the mistake of using. Pity it was such an easy lock. Shame on Mike, he hadn't invested in infrastructure very well.

"Higgs?!" I heard the unmistakable voice hiss out with surprise from the room. "What are you doi-"
I stopped her mid-sentence as the door creaked noisily open.
"Door's unlocked," I said keeping my voice down. "Hope you're decent hunny, commin' in,"
I flew into the room faster than she could dive to shut it sealed - If I'd been a second later, I might as well have had my arm cut off by the vengeful door. Instead, I found myself successfully inside, plastered with a grin, and looking at a disheveled Battle Bunny. I always suspected Riven had killer looks if she ever actually tried to maintain her appearance.
"Hey baby, you lookin' fiiiiiine today." Was the only thing that went though my mind, so I shot it off. I also sent her an award winning smile just for safe measure. Slightly disappointed she was fully dressed and I hadn't interrupted her. But only sightly.

Riven still had her shoulder pressed on the door, the move likely planned to keep my entrance to a minimum. Failure on that plan, and she was just starting to wrap her mind around that. The Noxian stayed mutely in place, she couldn't process what I'd just done. Or that I was standing in her room - with her in full getup. It was even better since one of her ears were folded downward. I resisted the urge to squeal, because that'd give up the game.

I couldn't even tell it was Riven with her new look and hairstyle. A thought that I might have had the wrong Battle Bunny floated into my mind, but it was impossible on all fronts. "Damn girl. What are you up to latter? I'm not a weatherman, but I can predict a few inches tonight, if you know what I mean. My bed."

That got the intended results. Her eyes locked on my own with such calm, it sent chills down my spine. She reached for her sword, and now there was absolutely no shadow of a doubt who this battle bunny was. Especially when she lifted it with one hand.
"Higgs. You pig!" She snarled at me, lifting her sword to cleave my pretty little head in two. She held it in the air, as if debating if just lording it over me was sending the correct message. I had to make sure she'd know it definitely was.
"Don't worry, I won't tell Kate! It's just you and me babe, Trust me," I said, without even trying to dodge her descending sword. It cleaved right next to me with a bellow from it's master, and sunk into the poor door. Riven's eye twitched at my words, although that seemed the extent of the damage. Guess that gave me leeway to go a bit further. Oh this was fun. Just how far can I push it? I had to test, for science of course.

I rushed in and gave her a hug while her sword was overextended. She stumbled back away from her sword in pure surprise. Still she didn't try to slap me away just yet. Guess I had to go further. My hands reached for her rump. Now that got an answer. She flew from my grasp with a shriek of a wild animal and raced to the end of the room, crouched and ready for a fight.

"What has gotten into you Higgs?!"

I ducked as a few makeup boxes flew in my general direction with every step I took closer to her. They were well aimed, I'd give her that.
I couldn't stop laughing, arms outstretched and advancing, grasping imaginary air melons. "It's my duty to check on your health champion. Now let me see if your bust got bigger in that suit or not. Trust me, I'm a summoner." Riven was absolutely terrified in her corner now. She had no idea what to do. She stayed crouched, holding onto the next throwable item, covering her cleavage and debating her options.

"Are you drunk?! Did a spell backfire?! Could you be... on drugs?!" Riven ducked under my tackle, and rolled to the other side of the room, heels coming loose in the process. I tutted, finding my hands had grabbed flat air. "You can't escape me forever my little bunny bun. It's either me or the door."

She paused for a moment, "Of course, Singed!" I heard her mutter under her breath.

I staggered to a stop. That gave me some great ideas. "Come to think of it, I did just see him a moment ago. I think I was a bit drunk and he offered me some more booze." I dumbly said, then gasped dramatically, and threw myself on the floor as if I was choking. Put in the seizure and coughs expertly in too. I would have thought I was dying had I been watching, what can I say? I'm an amazing actor of course. What's the word? Natural talent.

She - of course - acted exactly as planned, rushing to my side and trying to calm my spontaneous death seizure. When I creaked my eyes open, I saw her hovering over me with a face of absolute worry, fear and shock. "Riven..." I sputtered in between some fatal coughs, "Come closer, I.. think I might know... have an idea..."

She reached closer to hear me, and my hands shoot out and found their plump targets at long last. I expected to be slapped, hard. (Worth)
Instead Riven froze, completely shocked. The thought that she'd been tricked could visibly be seen creeping slowly into her mind.
I couldn't help it. In the middle of my insane laughter, a girlish giggle escaped my lips.

The Noxian's eyes narrowed furiously at that. Uh oh. Suddenly realization hit her mind, and bloomed on her face spelling the end of my fun.
"Lux," she hissed with absolute malice. I dropped my hands from dangerous territory, before she could in a less-than-friendly manner, swat them away.
"Awww, busted." I said in my voice again, dropping the disguise. "It's not my fault, you were too cute to just let you go like that." I toyed with one of my golden locks, giving the soldier my best innocent girl face. Pose was perfect too. I was still cradled in her arms, like a fragile little creature.

It worked too. Riven just sighed deeply, and stood back up, dropping me unceremoniously. "Well," I asked, a playful smile again on my lips, standing back on my own two feet and brushing off the events from my dress.
"Well what?" She said, dragging her sword out of the wooden door with a weather worn pose. As if she'd just come out of a war in the middle of a tornado, and just wanted some peace.
"Forgot you were wearing a suit yet?"

Riven froze, blushed deeply, then thought about it. She turned a curious face in my direction. "Actually. Yes. I had completely forgotten about this..." she said surprised at her own thoughts.
"Good! Now let's walk out and meet Jax. After this, going out on a date with him in a white dress will be a cakewalk."
At that, Riven grabbed me by the arm with intent in her eyes, I'd reminded her of something. I knew the look, I've seen it plenty of times before.

"You're coming with me on that! You dragged me last time when you lost your bet, return the favor!"
"Ahh, but -"
"No. You little demacian mongrel - you molested me already, least you can do is make sure Jax doesn't!" Riven hissed out with finality. Don't argue with me, her eyes shot me down before I could even open my mouth.
I shrugged. "How about you ask me again, say outside the dressing room? I'm sure I can be persuaded outside."
I said with a wink, skipping out the door. The noxian remained brooding between the threshold, sighed deeply finding no other choice, and stalked out after me.

Mission accomplished.