'She's fucking pregnant.'

'How do you know?' Ai asked from its master's Duel Disk, which was on top of his desk. Yusaku was busy pacing his room back and forth, trying desperately alleviate himself of the perpetual anxiety boiling inside of him ever since he and Aoi met as a result of Takeru's meddling. Normally, he wouldn't dream of opening up the topic with his Ignis, but he had absolutely no one to talk to - and though he never wanted to admit it, he really needed someone to speak to right now.

'One, she implied it. There was no motive for her to do so unless she wanted to plant that idea in my head, which she has successfully done.' he explained. 'Two, she was feeling sick, which could be symptomatic of pregnancy. And three...' he rubbed his face, ashamed and defeated. 'I...'

For the first time in his life, Yusaku's face managed to turn bright red.

'I-I...'

'You were irresponsible and had unprotected sex.' Ai finished for him.

Yusaku groaned and sat down in front of Ai, beyond embarrassed to hear it out loud. He folded his arms on the wooden surface and buried his face in his limbs. Sex without a condom? How fucking stupid. Why didn't he just wrap it up? If he had been careful from the beginning, then none of this would have happened. He wished that he never experienced being inside of Aoi without a condom. It was too good to quit. When he finally did have enough self-control to wear a condom, so much of the enjoyable sensation was lost.

But still.

He was so fucking stupid!

'I'm an idiot.'

'Aww, it's OK, Yusaku-chan!' Ai patted Yusaku's head. 'At least it was fun in the moment, right?'

'Shut up.'

'Not then... You're so used to calling the shots, but what will you do now? Playmaker-sama?'

Yusaku sat up and massaged his temples. What will he do now? That was a good question, with no good answer. Aoi wasn't even comfortable confessing her body's state to him right now either. All he could really do at this point was remain in the sidelines until Aoi decided to let him in. And he oh, so desperately wanted for her to just trust him again. Especially now, at a time when she shouldn't be so alone.

'What will you tell Aoi-chan to do?'

Yusaku frowned. 'What are you talking about? I have no intention of dictating her next course of action.'

'Ah... You're OK with having a baby?'

'No!' he hissed too quickly. 'That would ruin my life!'

'OK. Then tell her to get rid of it.'

'No.' he hung his head fisted his hair. Motherfucker. What a fucking nightmare. 'I can't...'

'So you do want a baby!'

'Absolutely not.' he snapped. 'I need a baby like I need a bullet through my skull. Of course I wish she wasn't pregnant. No doubt it would be easier, but-'

'Just tell Aoi-chan then!'

'I can't!' he raised his voice, clearly pissed off with Ai's incessant prodding. 'It's not my body. It's not my decision to make.'

'She could ruin your life, just like you said.'

'Yeah... Well, I don't want to ruin hers.'

Yusaku thought about all the things he wanted to scream out into the world. I don't want to have a baby! was definitely at the top of his list. It may be cruel, but it was his honest feeling. There were too many accomplishments that he wanted to achieve, and having a child was going to effectively make those goals more difficult if not impossible. He also had no interest in pursuing a long-term intimate relationship with Aoi - being stuck playing family certainly wasn't his plan for his immediate future.

Even so, he couldn't deny the slight spark of insane happiness he tried to keep under lock and key in his heart. I must be losing my mind, he thought upon realization that he was actually delighted by the prospect of Aoi having his baby. But that was as far as it went; only the idea was seductive. The reality of it was nothing less than devastating.

He didn't want to be a father. Fuck that. He didn't even know how to be a decent human being half the time.

As Yusaku tried to go to sleep in his bed later in the evening, he kept tossing and turning, chasing away his consciousness' voice reminding him of his essence in Aoi's womb. He remembered how warm and inviting it was inside of her, and how sweetly she'd look up at him, and how erotic and sexy the sounds she made were. He'd gaze at her in that vulnerable state, and he'd feel the most intense burst of love for her. It was never just sex with Aoi: every touch, every caress held a thousand words he couldn't say, and a million years of longing he'd resigned himself to. He wanted to melt with her so that he could never be away from her ever again, at least in that moment when they were one and the same and shaking with passionate pleasure. Though it was biting him in the ass now, he wouldn't take back those candid moments with Aoi back. They were precious memories of the only moments in his life thus far wherein he'd experienced such intense romantic, erotic love.

'Hey, dummy!' Ai quipped. 'What are you rolling around in bed for? Why can't you sleep?'

'Be quiet.'

'What are you thinking about?'

'I said, be quiet.'

'Are you thinking about her?'

Yusaku stiffened.

'I can tell when you're thinking about her. 'Cause you lean towards the right side of the bed, where you keep the-'

'Shut up.' Yusaku warned, not wanting to hear the embarrassing truth.

Was it seriously that obvious?

He didn't realize how transparent his behaviour was.

He'd gravitate towards the right side of the mattress, where a bedside table stood. In its top drawer was the small, glass bottle of lavender oil that Aoi had bought him. Yusaku couldn't find the audacity to dispose of it, and he secretly wanted a tangible reminder of her sitting somewhere within his safe space. He never reached for it and never once applied it onto his skin himself, but the temptation was there, gnawing at him until his insomnia could be attributed to something other than anxiety or trauma.

His heart was broken and it hurt, but it didn't make him want to necessarily be with Aoi. With contempt, Yusaku realized that he feared what real, committed intimacy would reveal about himself: that he was fundamentally flawed, and that he wasn't this Playmaker puppet master who called all the shots like he'd like to think that he does. He was also aware that Aoi herself could disappoint him, and that she had already started to. Despite her icy demeanour at school, she was emotional and insecure. These weren't qualities that he'd like his partner to have as it created more work for him. Specifically, she posed a challenged that he couldn't tackle. He completely fails at being kind or loving to her, nor can he stop her from hurting when she's upset. This took a huge chunk out of his ego.

He's not good for her and he'll never be good enough.

But he's been so used to being the best.

'If you miss her so much, Yusaku, just take a whiff out of that flowery oil she got you.'

Yusaku sighed. 'No.'

'Why not? I won't tell anyone.'

'I don't want to inhale her. I don't want to miss her.'

'Don't you?' Ai pressed. 'Already miss her, I mean.'

Yusaku thought about it. Then, he spoke softly, 'Yeah. After she left this place to go back home, I haven't stopped thinking about her.' he admitted. 'Even if I want to, I can't. It's like I'm sick in the head or something.'

'You're only realizing now that you're mentally messed up?'

Aoi was feeling good today.

She tried to tell herself that her high spirits might be due to the fact that she got a marked test back earlier, and she had done really well. But she always did well, so this made no sense. Or perhaps she was in a good mood because this morning, her brother shared a longer-than-usual breakfast with her. If that wasn't the case, then surely it was because of a million other different reasons that had nothing to do with the fact that she had finally spoken to Yusaku yesterday, and that conversation didn't go so bad.

Right?

Try as she might to conceal it, she was incredibly happy to have finally gained some closure on their relationship. While they weren't lovers anymore, she was pleasantly surprised that Yusaku didn't push her away aggressively like he normally does. Moreover, his embrace by the end of it all made her heart flutter even after the fact. She looked back at that memory fondly, and often had to catch herself from smiling absent-mindedly in class. She felt like she had fallen in love all over again, though the painful truth was that she had never really fallen out of it.

I should stop, she thought, before I get hurt again.

But she couldn't stop thinking about him.

Sitting in class while half the students were dozing off and the even the teacher was bored with his own subject matter, Aoi felt brave enough to palm her womb. A warm feeling filled her heart. There was life inside of her. As terrifying as it was, this secret of hers also gave her a level of happiness that she never thought was possible. She loved Yusaku unconditionally, so while he had burnt her so many times, the idea of having his child made her happy. She was aware that he didn't want it, but she did and that was enough to give her satisfaction.

There were moments when she suffered bouts of depression. Particularly when she was physically feeling under the weather, and the nausea would kick in like a super virus in the early beginnings of the worst flu. Those were also times wherein she wanted to just scream a public announcement that was pregnant, just so she could stop hiding this from everyone around her. Not even Akira suspected a thing - Aoi was grateful for the baggy top of her school uniform, but she was also lucky insofar as her body hadn't developed any noticeable changes.

But what about when it would start?

How would she feel about it then?

She wants something she shouldn't desire. What she should be doing is booking herself an appointment at the nearest clinic to terminate this pregnancy. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She wanted this baby. Or at least, she wanted to hang onto it for a while longer.

Her class before lunch ended, and she packed up her bag before heading out of the classroom.

'Hey!' Takeru took her by surprise as she entered the hallway. He was waiting right outside, and he flashed her his nearly trademarked smile. 'Zaizen, coming to join Yusaku and me for lunch?'

'O-Oh...' Aoi stammered momentarily. She didn't think that Yusaku was actually serious about his lunch invitation yesterday. Furthermore, she didn't think Takeru was going to pick her up from class again. Did those two work in pairs or something? 'T-Takeru-kun... Hi.'

'Hi. Come on, now. Yusaku's waiting at the usual spot.'

'Um...' she averted her gaze. 'I don't think he actually meant for me to come. I think he was just being polite.'

'Nonsense!' Takeru laughed wholeheartedly. 'Come with me!'

'No...'

'Zaizen-'

'It's alright!' she laughed dismissively, waving a hand at him as she walked away. It was sweet of Yusaku to invite her today, and even sweeter of Takeru to come by to pick her up again, but she didn't want to burden them with her unwanted presence. She enjoyed both of their company, but she didn't want to be selfish. They had been kind enough already. 'I'll catch you some other time, though! See you!'

Takeru stared at her as she made her exit, but ultimately decided not to pursue her. Yusaku's mood yesterday when they reconvened after school had ended was indicative that the conversation he had with Aoi wasn't bad. Yusaku insisted that he wanted nothing more to do with Aoi Zaizen, so Takeru felt that perhaps one meeting between those two was enough.

But he was wrong.

'Zaizen's not joining us.' Takeru announced as he took his seat in front of Yusaku.

'What?' his brows furrowed and he was clearly disappointed. Takeru must have shown his surprise at Yusaku's reaction, so the latter forcibly settled his features in an emotionless expression before continuing, 'I invited her for lunch yesterday. She said she'd come.'

'Well, she's not. I tried picking her up after her class ended.'

'I see.' Yusakuu responded with calculated numbness. His green eyes lost some vibrancy and they focused with unnecessary interest on his hands, which were folded on top of the tabletop's wooden surface. Why hadn't Aoi come to see him? He thought for sure that she was comfortable with him after yesterday.

'Don't worry.' Takeru teased. 'Maybe she's just playing hard to get.'

'Shut the fuck up.'

'OK.'

The rest of the lunch went on as usual. Takeru always did most of the talking, and Yusaku was content to just listen. This was their normal routine. However, today, Yusaku was distracted. He couldn't take in what Takeru was saying. Yusaku's mind was elsewhere, wandering to thoughts of Aoi and what she must be doing and who she must be feeling about him and her pregnancy.

'Yusaku?'

'Mm?'

'What's wrong?' Takeru inquired. 'You're super spacey.'

'Oh... Nothing.'

What was he supposed to say?

Yusaku kept his feelings locked inside in silence for the remainder of the day. He hoped that he would bump into Aoi in the halls, but that didn't happen. Every second that passed by that he didn't see her brought him closer to the edge of panic. Partly, he wanted to see her because he wanted to ascertain whether or not she was truly with his child. Other than that, the truth was that he also just missed her. Maybe he hoped that now that they were sort of on speaking terms, he could begin a relationship with her. Perhaps not as friends and certainly not lovers, but he thought that they could finally be in each other's lives.

Did Aoi not want that?

As soon as Yusaku got home, he called her. He didn't expect her to pick, so when she did, he was emotionally unprepared.

'Hey.' he greeted, his heartbeat speeding up ridiculously quickly. 'Thought you were going to join me for lunch today.'

'Oh... Really?'

'Yes. I invited you yesterday, didn't I?'

Aoi giggled sweetly.

Yusaku's heart melted. His bones went weak and he thought he might stumble from the lovely sound of her voice, so he sat down on his bed. The experience was exotically pleasing. He couldn't recall a moment when he made Aoi laugh. This was the first time he had heard her make that noise, and its effect on him was impossible to exaggerate. Without even realizing, a smile began to form on his lips and all the anxiety he felt from last night dissipated instantaneously.

'It wasn't very nice of you to ghost me.' he warned her playfully.

'I guess I'm not a nice girl then.'

'No.' he bit his lip. 'You're just the worst.'

Though they weren't physically in the same space as each other, the sexual tension in their exchange of words was hard to ignore. Yusaku shifted on his bed, trying to relieve some of the energy building up in his body. Talking to Aoi was invigorating. He was excited, and he had lost all control of his facial expressions. He was smiling like an idiot, his eyes were twinkling not just from the moonlight seeping into his room, and his chest was fluttering with boyish delight.

Aoi giggled again, and his grin grew.

'Yusaku... Why are you calling me?'

'Can't I just want to talk to you?' he said without thinking, immediately regretting his words. Shit, he mouthed to himself, and Ai was jumping for joy on the desk, giddy that its master was starting to be more honest with his emotions. 'I-I mean...' he rubbed his face with a free hand, but decided that it was too late. He resigned to his moment of vulnerability. 'I missed you at lunch.' he finally admitted.

'Hehe...'

Yusaku's heart was threatening to punch out of his chest.

'You miss me?' she asked in a syrupy tone, although there was a hint of sadness. 'Really?'

'Yes.' he whispered gently. 'I do.'

'That's...' Aoi trailed off, and Yusaku suddenly felt the nature of their conversation take a nasty turn. He was about to say something, but she cut him off, 'It's late. I should get to bed.'

'I see...' he was disappointed, but he tried his best to conceal it. 'Good night, then.'

'Good night.'

Neither of them ended the call. They were both aware of the other's presence still on the line. An awkwardly lengthy silence followed, only to be broken by Aoi's innocent laughter.

'Sorry. I'm so awkward.'

'You're not.' he assured her. 'I promise.'

'You're just being polite... But I'll go now.'

'Wait.'

'Mm?'

'You... Can I see you?'

Aoi gripped the phone harder and tried to suppress the urge to meet him. 'You don't have to do that. We're good. Don't worry about me.'

'No!' he protested a little too loudly. He caught himself and collected his composure. 'I want to see you. It's not... It's not the way you think it is.'

'You don't have to explain yourself.'

'Aoi-'

'Good night.'

'No, please, Aoi-'

The line went dead and Yusaku exhaled roughly. He flung his phone somewhere on his sheets and fell on his back. Ai was yipping some nonsensical, bullshit advice, but Yusaku tuned him out. Emerald orbs fixated on the ceiling, pondering his next move. Maybe this was for the best. He and Aoi finally got their closure, and they could part ways now. Yusaku didn't know for certain if she was pregnant or not. However, it was becoming more apparent that Aoi wanted nothing to do with him. So why even prod where he wasn't wanted?

But he wanted her to want him.

Yusaku shut his eyelids, defeated by his own emotions.

I'm in love with her. Fuck.

'You need to win her back, Playmaker-sama.' Ai proposed.

'Shut. Up.'

'Maybe start with some flowers?'

Yusaku groaned.

When Aoi hung up on Yusaku, she sprawled herself on her bed. She placed a hand over her beating heart and tried desperately to calm it down. It was beating at a million miles a minute, overwhelmed by Yusaku's voice. Yet, Aoi resolved not to force her feelings onto him ever again. She wasn't going to burden him with the pregnancy either, not until she either got rid of it or got too big to hide it.

She still hadn't made up her mind on whether or not she wanted to keep it.

She thought for certain that she wanted to have this baby, but the more she thought about it, the more she questioned her conviction. What kind of life would it have? How good of a position was she in to be a mature, supportive mother? How would it feel, knowing its father wanted nothing to do with it? How would she feel, having the offspring of a man who wanted absolutely nothing to do with her either?

Aoi's heart sank.

Selfish as it may seem, she didn't want to have the child of someone who didn't love her or what was inside of her. But she also couldn't bring herself to reconcile with the idea of terminating potential life. Of course, she was aware that it was just a mass of cells right now. It had no heartbeat. There was no life. But it could have life, and the possibility kept her from reaching a solid conclusion.

A knock at her door tore her out of her thoughts.

'Come in.' she called out.

Akira walked into her bedroom, worry etched on his face. Aoi immediately sat up, scooted to the edge of her bed, and averted her brother's gaze.

'Onii-sama.' she greeted tightly. 'What's wrong?'

'Aoi...' he sat down on her mattress, but she refused to look at him. 'Who were you talking to on the phone?'

'Oh...'

'Was it...?'

'No.' she lied. 'You know that I'm dating Takeru-kun.'

Akira shrugged his shoulders. He never really bought that fake relationship, but he wasn't about to let Aoi know that. He always knew that deep down, there was only one man who Aoi loved irrefutably. 'Well... If in your heart, you still love-'

'Stop.' Aoi interrupted, finally staring at her brother with hurt-filled hazels. 'Just stop.'

'Aoi-'

'You gave me so much shame and trouble because of my feelings for him.' she snapped. 'You made me date that... That...' she grimaced. 'That old pervert, and now you're saying it's fine to be in love with whoever I want?!'

'You're in pain, I know.' Akira pleaded. Aoi looked away again. Tears were welling up in her eyes. 'But you have to tell me why. What happened with my colleague? Why haven't you been the same since you saw him last? Why are you always angry at me?'

'Nothing happened!' she insisted. 'What, you think I slept with him too?! You think I'm a slut, I know, but at least try to hide it! You're my family!'

'I never said that!' Akira was losing it. He reached for her arm, but she yanked it away, glaring at him like he had just bitten her or like she wanted to take a bite out of him. 'But I don't believe that nothing happened! You came home the last time you saw him, smelling like smoke.' he reminded her. 'And you were dead in the eyes. And you stayed up, vomiting all night.'

Aoi's eyes widened.

'Yeah.' Akira scoffed. 'I knew about that. This is my house.' he pressed. 'You're my sister. I raised you. I gave everything for you, I have one eye on you at all times.'

'At all times?' she smiled bitterly. 'What a joke.'

Akira recoiled sharply.

'Nothing happened.' she declared confidently. 'And I don't love Yusaku. So whatever you think you know, you don't.'

Akira stared at her in silence for a long moment before standing up and leaving abruptly.

Aoi was once again left alone.

She raced for the door after it shut behind Akira. She locked it and then turned, back to the expensive wood, and slumped to the floor as her tears fell and she sobbed into her hands.

Hey guys, thank you so much for supporting this story!

If you have an account, I've responded to you privately. If not, I respond to you below.

Yujo0147, so glad you enjoyed the last chapter! Akira's reaction will be later down the plot, as the next few chapters will be more Yusaku-centric. Thank you so much for your continued encouragement!

Aniki, Aoi will be revealing her pregnancy soon! Yes, it will be slow, but it will also be careful. They both need to be careful with each other. Thank you for your continued support!

Guest, thank you for your review! Aoi will tell Yusaku that she is pregnant soon.

Guest, Yusaku will be confronting Aoi again about that suitor, so his feelings about it will be explored. I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter and thank you for your kind review!

Finally, poetrymagic12 has asked that I mention their story, Detective Files. I give a little summary and my own opinion about it in my note in Chapter 19. But just to briefly reiterate, it's a good read! I really enjoy it, and am so excited for what the author has planned!