Ikari/ Nikushimi

Chapter Twenty

Force

Doki opened the door to his room. I was still thinking when Doki faced me. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. For some reason I was so deep in thought I couldn't figure out what I was thinking.

I looked around, I felt so out of place. His red room was so bright to me… it was… so… dead to me. But why?

Doki glances at me with a bright smile and crouches and tackles me. We landed on the floor after a tumble. He held me tightly in his cold arms. I tried to push him off. "What are you doing?!"

"Celebrating," he answered with that same bright smile.

"What are we celebrating for you to tackle me?!"

He smiled and answered me as if I was just as excited as he was. "Organization XIII is complete! All of the members are set and they are now getting ready to capture the Keyblade Master!"

He was so happy that it freaked me out. I calmed down and tilted my head to study him. What a surprise, I thought it would take longer to find the right Nobodies. "Hm…" I was too deep in thought to actually be happy.

"And now we can overthrow the King!" Doki exclaimed happily. I grin.

His plan was full-proof, I thought about it but I couldn't understand why I wasn't happy, I shuttered as his cold skin pressed against mine. I tried to think why I wasn't as happy as he was, this was for me, he was doing this for ME, not for just someone but for me. He was risking everything for me, to see me happy. To see me praise him. And I do love this plan but… why didn't I fully love it? Why didn't I fully love him? I loved him it was there, I didn't mind sleeping with him although he hits me, I didn't mind kissing him although he calls me names, why can't I fully love him? It made no sense.

I lusted for him but… wasn't that love enough? I mean… I did love him but this love was more so like a one way mirror, I couldn't see in him but he could see me. Why didn't I truly love him? Why…? As I thought my grin vanished. So… who was I in love with?

Doki looked at me, he noticed the change in my face and behavior. He wasn't smiling any more. "What's wrong? Don't you love it?"

I snap my head up and looked at him, "Of course I do…"

"But?" He pressed for me to answer. His eyes were filled with concern, he wanted to know what made me so glum.

I sighed, "I honestly don't know." I looked into his green eyes, "I love you, I love your plan but… I just…" I shrugged slowly and lowered my head as my hand touched the side of his face.

How could I tell him? I didn't know what I wanted any more, I was just as emotionally confused as he was. What could I say? That I didn't love him like he loves me? That I love Riku? Wait… Riku… is… that… where did that come from?

I thought about it, thankfully Doki wasn't searching my mind, but still… Riku? He was a human, it could never work. But did I really care about that? I highly doubt, I was close friends with him, there was no way I really did care. But still, I was… in love with him? No, that can't be, he makes me laugh, he is loyal, he is nice, polite, brave, stubborn, and beautiful but… he was human. My human… my Riku… my… my… love…

My eyes opened to the truth.

"Princess?" he asked, I realized I never really answered his question. He waited but who knows how long he'd actually wait for me to answer. I guessed that a few minutes had passed. I look at him and wonder for a second. Some how we went from the floor to his bed. Yes, three minutes had passed.

Doki rose from the bed and started to pace. I was standing now, I sighed and started to drift to the floor and go to bed. I was tired and cold.

Suddenly I was pulled back. He grabbed me at my wrist. "Where are you going?" he said anger filled his voice.

But it wasn't tight, the grip he had, is slowly slid my wrist from his hand and sighed, "I'm tired, I want to go to bed." I told him, as calmly as I could. I looked him in the eye.

"That's your bed!" he pointed to his red bed.

"But… I was hoping I could sleep in my room tonight." I said calmly looking at him with a nervous grin.

He grounded his teeth, "I marry you, I protect you, I built an army for you and I save your pet and you… and you… you deny me! Why?! Why?!" he grabbed me again only tighter than he ever had. I could feel my bones crying out by cracking. A human arm's bones would have been shattered to no return. I scream but then realize my arm wasn't breaking something was being taken away from me. What was it? I scream again and sink to my knees.

"What… what are you… doing… to me?" I asked under my breath, my voice was leaving me and I was starting to get weak. I couldn't move my legs the way I wanted. I was so weak, so tired… what was wrong with me?

"Since you won't spend time with me I'll treat you like the creature you want to be!" he yelled and whatever he was doing to me grew and made me feel even weaker. I groan and I realized that no strength that I could never summon would break me from this.

He released me and I fell to my side. Seconds later Doki's foot met my stomach. I was now gasping for air. I couldn't breath, his kick knocked the air out of me. After a while I felt his cold hands pick me up and throw me on the bed. I was too weak to do anything, I couldn't move, I could only keep my eyes closed and hope I wouldn't get killed.

Doki forced himself on me with barely a struggle. I was defenseless, I was unprotected as he sexually abused me.