Disclaimer: I do not own anything, I wish I do but I don't. Everything belongs to the BBC, except my original character; the only thing that they can't claim because it's mine.

A/N: Hello! So yeah, this chapter would get a bit tense I guess. I mean, friendly reminder that his lovely companion Rose Tyler and now he is consume in guilt, so I have this weird concept of him being haunted by her. That's also mean those who don't really ship the Doctor and Rose would love to skip the whole upper part of the stories. Also, friendly reminder about Sam. He's not an ordinary normal child with a loving parents, that's probably why he's got a different reaction than a normal ten year old. That's also why his reaction in this story, anyway! I'll give you the whole explanation in later chapter about this particular character. I do hope he's not a 'marry-sue' type also let me know if he's a bit 'mary-sue type'

Chapter 21

It's Time to Go Home

When they finally made it back on board the TARDIs, the Doctor said to Sam that he would need a few minutes in the Vortex to recalibrate before he could take him to another adventure, and gave the boy full permission to explore to his heart's content until that time, or he could take a nap inside his room. Commenting on how small little humans like him needs more rest than the average human. That it was the result of his descendant love to sleep their days away, and now the average human has weak endurance and needs to sleep every day.

That's why, the Doctor was alone in the console room making a few adjustments underneath the TARDIS. The truth is, he needed to get his mind away from the long, reminiscent conversation he had with himself about their recent adventure he had with his newly companion. Those thought had probably come from what the Face of Boe told him, because he was right; the Doctor's path was never easy, the universe has never been kind to him. It was his punishment for what he done, a crime he committed that it silences the universe. His recent adventure was enough to prove his fear.

Fear that one day he would be gone, one day he would disappeared, and it would be all his fault. One day, the glint of innocent, the sweet soft laugh he had, would disappear. He can't do that to him, it wasn't fair for him to take his childhood away and filled it with darkness, despair, and the whole awful thing the universe would throw at him, just because he was some lonely battered Time Lord that was selfish enough and wanting some company.

Of course there's the lie he had told him. A lie of himself, telling him the tale of him being a traveller. It was not a complete lie, he was just going to travel around the universe; yet he can't help to intervene, to help people. But he wasn't always helping people, he also destroyed. He destroyed them who test his mercy, he destroyed them who wanted to rule the universe and wreck it, he destroyed those who intervene with time. It was his nature, as a Time Lord. What Sam sees now is just a small glint of what's really on the inside, and he feared that if- no, not if, when the time would come, he would see him for who he really was. Because of the real monster hiding deep inside of himself just waiting to claw out from its cage.

Maybe that was the other reason why he's been thinking about taking the boy home. No, not maybe-that was exactly the reason. He was afraid that the boy would see him fully, see everything that he was and it would scare him away; even he himself scared at times.

Crawling out from underneath the console, the Doctor brushed himself off. Dark smudges of oil stained his suit again, and he had just created more.

"You know she hates that."

He looked up to see Rose leaning against the console looking down at her with a tongue teeth grin.

"Rose, this is my ship. I know what she needs and want." the Doctor replied with a small smile. "Well, sometimes she did electrocute me if I poke around where she didn't like."

Rose smiled briefly. "Yeah, I can imagine." She paused for a second as she places her hand and stroke the console affectionately. "I miss this place."

The Time Lord didn't turn his head towards her, instead he only lowered his head, he closed his eyes and let out a breath.

"I'm sorry."

"How many times I have told you?" Rose asked. She turned to him. "It's not your fault, Doctor."

He snorted. "Oh no, I only managed to whisk you away from your mother and your normal safe life to travel with me and lost your life. You're right, I shouldn't feel guilty about that."

"Don't." Rose said firmly. Pushing herself off the railing, she placed her hands on his forearm. "You didn't do anything, Doctor. Stop blaming yourself. I know this guilt would just eat you and this is the exact reason why you're planning to send Sam home."

The Doctor was about to object but she beat him to it.

"No, just listen. I think what you're going to do is a big mistake." Rose said to him. She cupped her hands on his face. "You know you can't travel alone, and we both know how you need a companion to travel with you. You can't always hang on me forever; Doctor so please don't send him home."

"That's where the idea come from Rose," the Doctor said. His hand gripped her hands and walked away. "I fear that one day, I would be so desperate to keep him with me, I've placed him in danger already in our first few traveling days together. I have duty of care for my friends and companion yet I ignored them because I am just an old selfish Time Lord who selfishly took a child. A child that could be so much more and yet here I am forcefully taking his innocent life away moment by moment. Until one day he will lose his sanity or worse his-"

"His what, Doctor?"

He shook his head and faced her. "I can't break another promise, not again. That's why I'm getting him home, and it's not your decision or either mine to let him stay."

"Then you made the wrong decision Doctor, and you know that." Rose paused for a moment to study him before lowering her head. "Please, don't do this to yourself. I can't just sit by and do nothing when you're alone."

The Doctor turned his body away to place a hand under her chin, bringing her eyes back to his. "I have you here, with me. You've given me so much more, and you'll continue to do so. None of those things concern me when I'm with you right here in the TARDIS with me," he raised his hand to brush back a stray hair behind her ear before keeping it on her cheek. "It's more than I could ever want."

"But you know I won't be with you forever." Rose said as she gave him a watery smile, before brushing his side softly. "I'm not even here Doctor."

Pushing back, he gave her a haunted look. "I know."

"Doctor, look at me," Rose cried but he kept his back to her.

His head and shoulders slumped but still did not turn to face her. "It's my ship Rose, and if I say he can't stay, then he can't."

"You're being selfish right now Doctor, trying deciding what's best for him and not even letting him decide," Rose shot back at him. "Don't you think you should ask him first. It was his decision to come with you after all, we all did Doctor."

"It's for the best."

0o0

Sam woke up and for a moment didn't realize where he was. Opening his eyes, it all came back to him, he wasn't feeling well earlier probably because of the rain on New Earth and the humid hoover car he was stuck in. His body hurts and he felt a fever coming up after the adventure, yet he didn't say anything to the Doctor because the moment they arrived inside the TARDIS; there's only grim silent that made him worried and a bit scared.

With a tight smile, he remembered leaving the Doctor alone after he told him about going on alone as he's going to fix something inside the TARDIS. He let out a large yawn as he opened the door and shed his dirty clothes and jacket in favour of his comfortable and incredibly clean jims jams. As he climbed into bed, Sam found himself a bit uncomfortable wished he had made some tea before going to bed. It wasn't horrible, but it was enough to make him wriggle in his bed a bit.

The next thing he saw was a pill bottle and a glass of water suddenly appeared on his nightstand with a humming noise that wake him up. Sam glanced around his room warily before he picked up the bottle and it was a bottle of a paracetamol. A calming hum echoed in his mind, and he jumped in surprised as he stared in shock at the TARDIS wall. It was the second time he heard the calming hum, the ships were alive and he knows it, yet it was a bit strange.

The last thing he remembered before going to bed was taking a small doze of medicine the ship provides him and now he felt a bit better than last night. It still overwhelmed him that this ship was just so impossible and yet so amazing. His room was dimly lit, but as he sat up and brought his legs to the edge of his bed they become brighter.

Smiling up at the ceiling he said, "Thank You."

A peaceful familiar hum replied to him and he smiled, getting up from his bed and made his way to the console room. He thought about the last few days he had that were beyond unbelievable but also terrifying. Going to the future and helped a Star Whale also meeting Liz Ten, then going into the future to see Earth so many centuries ahead, New Earth. This was an exciting life for sure.

Finding his way to the console room he smiled at the sight before him. The Doctor was standing in the middle of the console, making the familiar dance as he run the TARDIS machine. Although there was something about him that made today would be different, something about his face that made him hesitant to walked on the console.

"Ah! Sam Piper!" the Doctor exclaimed as he noticed the boy who was standing in the corridor, shoved his hands in his pocket and wearing the mask, changing the solemn look into a cheerful one. "Enjoy your rest?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah, that was the most comfortable bed I've ever slept on," he said with a smile. "It's like sleepin' on clouds."

The Doctor tilted his head. "Well, technically if you were attempt sleeping on a cloud, you'd fall right through it. But if you were go to Cloudnimbus, those clouds are like big balls of cotton, you can sleep on it!"

"Can we check it out?" Sam asked him. He smiled at him with excitement.

The Time Lord smiled faltered. "I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

He looked straight to the boy who was smiling as he looked up to him. The smile that could charm an empire, the sweet innocent smile that would be erased by the cruel world he was showing. He could already picture Sam leaving by his own choice after an adventure that had proved too much for him or worse.

"I'm taking you back home, I'm sorry Sam." the Doctor told him. He swallowed a lump of guilt in his throat.

"Okay."

"Okay?" the Doctor frowned. He was waiting for angrier reaction towards him, he actually expected that. "You're not angry at me for sending you home right now?"

Sam shook his head. "I mean, you did promise me a trip and we did so I guess that's done and you're right. I need to go home. Just promise me that you'll land not too late or early, don't want to create a havoc that's all."

"Of course." the Doctor told him. He forced a smile and trying to town down a familiar memory. "I'll take you home on time."

With that the Doctor turned and finished a few adjustments to the console and flicking towards the buttons as the room filled with wheezing sound that signalling they were now off to home. But where is home? For him, home is a place where he would be ignored or yelled at, home is this cold place on Christmas Day, an empty place for him.

And the Doctor was right, he needs to go back, he can't be selfish and just leave it all behind. But there's the strange feeling in his heart that made him wanted to scream at the Doctor, to be angry and yet those feeling would go away as he stomped it down like he would usually do when there's something he didn't like. He can't be angry at him or stomping his foot about it, he can't. He would be just another ungrateful child, like his aunt would tell him; he won't question his decision. It was probably for the best, right?

But this was the Doctor. He is not his aunt that would yell at him for asking too much question, he is not his uncle who only looked annoyed and grunted at him if he asks any question at all, he won't be angry with him if he asks question. Didn't he told him to ask as many questions as possible? That he couldn't help it. Maybe he should just ask the reason why would he take him home now. Whatever the reason is, at least he knows why. He got a reason why he has no parents, he got tons of reason why people would ignore him, and he got a reasons why he was mark a menace. So there must be a reason for this, whether or not is good nor bad, he didn't care much; he just needs a reason why. Walking towards him, he gathers the courage to speak up.

"Doctor-"

The TARDIS suddenly let out a beeping alarm. It shook and tipped like a frail rowboat in an angry storm. Sam looked up at the time rotor, and gripped the side of the console with both of his hands as he saw the Doctor face hardened in alarmed. It was like being on a roller coaster ride without any safety straps.

In a seconds, they all jolted to the ground landed hard on their back. They sat up and looked at each other with a nervous glanced. Sam hurriedly stood up and walked outside ignoring the Doctor warning as he opened the door and revealed a place that is definitely not Earth. The Doctor finally caught off with him and grabbed as he was going to scold him until he realized where they had landed.

"Well, I guess one adventure won't hurt anyone."

Hello starlight.

That's right! I also watch Steven Universe in my spare times, including and not limited to Ducktales, Star vs. the Force of Evil, Gravity Fall, Adventure Time, etc.
I don't know why but there's something about cartoon that soothe me better than anime.

Anyway! Thank you so much for reading, and welcome dear reader to this particular part of my brain that turned into a fan-fiction. Thank you so much for those who favorite, follow, and go on a full effort on reviewing.

I need those, all of those to make the age of my story live longer.
Thank you!