A/N: Wow, this could almost have been THREE chapters. I guess Hackett had a lot to say. Yikes. The next chapter will (probably) be a little shorter because, honestly, I wasn't planning on it. I was planning on Hackett taking the timeline a little further, but...my characters aren't very good at cooperating. (Are they ever?)

So yes, this chapter does (and the last chapter did) go away just a bit from how things happened in-game, but I never felt like it made much sense, so...there ya go. While I believe that Hackett fully trusts Shepard, I don't think he has any illusions as to Cerberus and their true motivations. He never struck me as a stupid man. So I don't see him giving them anything relating to the Alliance (meaning he wouldn't give her information about a top-secret mission over an unsecure channel on a Cerberus ship). As far as this chapter, I always thought the whole thing with the Normandy crash site was a little awkward. Plus, there is my whole back story that didn't exist in the game. And this felt like a good point to bring it all to light. :)

As for his ship? I couldn't find anywhere that it was ever named, so I made one up. Consensus seems to be that it is an Everest class dreadnaught, so I picked a random mountain name that wasn't already being used. And I'm sure I've fudged the timeline a bit to fit in my backstory for Anderson and Hackett. I tried to make at least somewhat close-hopefully I did that. If anyone can see any glaring problems with it, let me know. If I can fix it and still make it work with my backstory, I will. Otherwise we'll just blame it on the slight AU-ish part of the story. -)

And holy wow, look at at that author's note! Maybe my wordiness isn't entirely Hackett's fault. Okay, chapter now.

Thanks as always for all your continuing support! I LOVE when I get a message about a new comment or follower. :)

BioWare owns all, I just can't leave it alone.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she finally woke up, but Shepard was pleasantly surprised to find that she actually felt well-rested. Slowly sitting up, she looked over towards the door to see Dr. Chakwas standing and talking with a man in an Alliance uniform. Blinking several times, she realized that it was Admiral Hackett. The admiral of the Fifth Fleet, standing on a Cerberus vessel. Well, wasn't that interesting? She sincerely hoped that he wasn't here to take her back to the Alliance now. She knew she would eventually have to answer for what happened with the Alpha Relay, but she needed to see this thing with the Collectors through first.

Chakwas and Hackett noticed she was awake at the same time. The doctor said something softly to the admiral, placing a hand on his shoulder, before turning and leaving the medical bay. Hackett made is way over to where Shepard was sitting. She hopped to her feet and saluted him.

"Sir."

"At ease, Commander. How are you feeling?"

"Physically much better, sir."

With a pointed look, he asked, "And mentally?"

She hesitated a bit before sighing and saying, "Struggling. Did you read my report?"

"I did. You didn't have a choice."

"Oh, but I did. That's exactly the problem. I had to choose to destroy that relay. It was my choice that killed them."

"That's bullshit, Shepard, and you know it."

She looked up at him, surprised to see an almost angry expression on his face.

"You did not cause the death of those batarians. You know as well as I do that they would have been dead the minute the Reapers came through that relay anyways. The choice you made saved lives. I know that's hard to see right now, but there are billions of people still alive in this galaxy. And even though they don't know it, they are counting on us, on you, to find a way to stop the reapers from destroying their lives."

His expression softened. "It's a lot of pressure on you. Too much for the average person. You've never been average, but I think we sometimes forget that you are human."

Shepard snorted. "Am I? I'm not even sure about that anymore."

Hackett's eyes snapped towards her and he said, "I am."

He turned thoughtful for a bit before continuing, "I wonder if I could steal you away from your ship for a bit? Just a short trip and I'll have you back here by tomorrow."

"Is this related to your second favor?"

He nodded. "Sort of. I promise it won't turn out like the last one."

"Ha! In that case, sure. If the Illusive Man has a problem with it, he can kiss my ass."

Hackett laughed. "Good. I'll meet you at my shuttle in your hangar."

After informing Miranda of her plans and packing an overnight bag, Shepard made her way towards the hangar. She had been pleasantly surprised that her XO had not tried to talk her out of leaving. Ever since they'd had their heart-to-heart, they had gotten along much better. And after the debacle on Aite, Miranda even seemed to be questioning the Illusive Man's motives. Even if she stayed with Cerberus, she was no longer blindly loyal, and that was all Shepard wanted. She felt comfortable leaving Miranda in charge and sending her crew to take out a Blood Pack base in the Xe Cha system while she went off with the admiral.

As she approached Hackett's shuttle, she was surprised to see him deep in conversation with both Joker and Dr. Chakwas. They all wore serious expressions, and as she wandered over, she caught the tail end of their conversation. The admiral seemed to be reassuring the other two.

"...take care of you. All of you. I promise you that. There will be a place when you're ready."

"Thank you, Admiral. It means a lot that you understand the reasons behind our decision and will stand up for us." Dr. Chakwas smiled as she saw Shepard. "Well, the commander's here so we won't keep you any longer."

She then completely surprised Shepard by giving her a brief hug, saying, "I think this is an excellent idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it."

Shepard was even more confused when Joker then turned and saluted her before saying, "Have a good trip, Commander. And say hello to her for me, okay?"

She just nodded without even knowing what she was agreeing to. She could see a slightly amused expression on Hackett's face as he watched her reaction. As her pilot and her doctor made their way out of the hangar, Shepard and Hackett turned to board his shuttle. It was a short ride to the SSV Tyree, and they rode in a comfortable silence.

Once they arrived, Hackett immediately showed Shepard to the visiting officer's quarters to drop her bag, and then they made their way up to the CIC. After giving his navigator a set of coordinates, he motioned for Shepard to follow him into the office he kept on the command deck. He motioned for her to have seat and then took one himself.

"So, have you figured out where we're going yet?"

"Yes, but I haven't figured out why."

"Two reasons. The first, the most important, is that I don't think you've had a chance to fully come to terms with everything. You've never had a chance to mourn for the life you lost. Even though you're alive, sitting here right now, you did die. Then you came back, and everything was different." He paused, meeting her eyes before he continued. "I think that visiting the spot where it happened would help you to bring you some sort of closure. But if you decide you don't want to, I won't make you. Even for the second reason."

"Which is?"

"I've been sitting on a task for some time. Almost two years, to be honest. I haven't found the right time or the right person to complete it. I think that it's because it was meant for you. Sitting in my cargo hold is a monument to the lives lost that day, including yours. It needs to be placed on Alchera, somewhere. Also, twenty other marines lost their lives that day, and we've never been able to recover anything. If you could find something, dog tags maybe, we could give their families some closure as well."

"Okay."

Hackett raised a brow at her. "Just like that?"

"You're right. It's a good idea and something I need to do. But...can I ask you something? And get an honest answer?"

He looked at her in surprise before saying, "Okay."

"What's the real reason this hasn't been done yet? There are several people who would have been the right people, and plenty of time. So something else was holding you back. What was it?"

Shepard was grateful that he didn't immediately deny, but instead seemed to carefully consider what she had said. Finally after several minutes of silence, he began to speak.

"Shortly after the First Contact War, I was a Commander with my own squad. Things were still incredibly tense for us around the galaxy, and I was assigned several...delicate missions. The details still remain top-secret, but one mission went wrong and only three of us walked away. Those other two men and I formed a friendship that lasted many years, even though we all went our separate ways after that assignment."

"About twelve years later, one of those men called me. By then I was a Rear Admiral in the Fifth Fleet, and he wanted a favor from me. He had been among the first teams to set foot on a colony that had been hit by slavers."

With a start, Shepard realized what he was saying.

"Mindoir," she whispered. "So, your friend was Commander Janowski? And that must mean the other man was Councilor Anderson."

Hackett nodded. "When he called me that day, he told me about the young girl he had encountered. The girl who had lost her entire family and had somehow survived. He had been very impressed with the way you had handled yourself, both before he found you and after. You had told him that you wanted to join the Alliance-do you remember that?"

"Yeah...I do. God, I had forgotten it until now! I told him that I was seventeen and that I wanted to join right then and there so that I could go avenge my family. He explained to me why that wasn't the answer, but he also promised to help me get into the Alliance. But not until I turned eighteen. He said I needed to put some time between what had happened that day and my military career so that I wasn't doing it for the wrong reasons. I...I thought he had just said that but...I should have realized." She looked up and met Hackett's eyes. "You. You got me admitted into Drescher Academy for that year. Because he asked you to."

Hackett nodded again. "I had to call in a few favors of my own, but yes. You may not know this but the three of us followed your career very closely ever since then. It wasn't an accident when you ended up on his squad. He was looking forward to being able to have a more direct role in shaping your future." She saw the sadness in his eyes when he said, "Unfortunately, it didn't work out quite the way we wanted."

"I didn't even remember he was the same person. Not until it was too late. This is all so crazy. I was only told that an anonymous donor had made my admittance possible, and that this anonymous person would also be legally responsible for me until I turned eighteen. I thought it was a little strange. I just figured it was someone who felt sorry for me but didn't really want the responsibility of being too involved. That is clearly not the case. Why didn't any of you ever tell me?"

"At first, Leon just thought it was best. He thought you wouldn't react well to someone trying to be an actual parent-type presence in your life so soon after losing your family. His plan was to give you time to adjust and then reveal himself. It was obvious very early on that you had a large amount of natural skill and charisma, and that you would go far in the Alliance. We decided that we didn't want our actions to overshadow your accomplishments. To make you, or anyone else, think that they didn't mean as much because of it. I want to be clear about this. Over the years, we have made sure that you were on the right path, but you have never been given anything that you didn't earn."

"I know that. But I have always thought how lucky I was to have been in the right places at the right time."

The green in her eyes became more evident as she said with a grin, "I guess I just had three fairy-godfathers looking over me and never knew it."

Hackett laughed. "I suppose that's one way to look at it."

His expression then became serious as he continued, "None of us had any children, Shepard. I think, even from a distance, over the years we all became...attached. We were all proud of everything you did. And when…when the Normandy was lost, David and I felt like we had failed in protecting you. In carrying out what Leon had wanted for you. He doesn't think I felt it as deeply as he did, but I'm just better at hiding it. I always meant to place that monument myself. But in doing so, I would have had to face my failure. And I couldn't find the courage to do that."

Shepard had tears in her eyes when she finally spoke.

"You didn't, not even a little bit, ever fail. You've been in the military a long time. You know that sometimes these things just happen, no matter what we do. As for everything else...thank you. I don't really know what else to say. I've had friends over the years, people I've been close to. But I haven't felt like I had a family since Mindoir." She smiled. "It's nice to know that I had one, even if I didn't know it at the time."

"Yes, well. Now you do know, so be careful out there." He gave a short laugh. "What am I saying? You are going to keep doing what you do, no matter what anyone else says."

"My mother always said I was the most stubborn person she ever met. And just so you know, it's never my intention, but things do seem to just explode around me." She dropped her gaze and said softly, "Like the Bahak System."

"I'll say it again, Shepard. That wasn't your fault."

"I know. I do, but I'll still have to answer for it. Won't I?"

She was again grateful that he didn't try to deny what she was saying and just met her eyes.

"Yes. I'll get with Anderson and we'll try to work something out. Something tells me he won't be Councilor much longer, and he'll be back with the Alliance. I won't lie to you. It's not going to be pleasant, no matter what. The batarians will want blood, and we'll have to do what we can to keep us out of a war with them. We can't afford that with the Reapers on our doorstep. You'll probably have to come to Vancouver and stand trial, but we'll make sure it waits until you're done with your current mission."

Shepard nodded, "Thanks, that's what I was hopping. It should be over soon. I have one more thing to do before I head through the Omega 4 Relay. If I make it back in one piece, I'll turn myself and the Normandy in to the Alliance."

He gave her a pointed look and said, "When, not if. And give me a call first. I'll get things in place to make the transition as painless as possible."

"Yes, sir." She smirked. "Dad."

She burst out laughing at the expression on his face.

"I am still your superior officer, Shepard." He tried to sound stern but the twinkle in his eye gave him away.

They sat in silence for a bit before his pilot broke came over the comm to let them know they had arrived in the Amada System. Shepard looked towards Hackett.

"Will you come with me? At least on the shuttle?"

"Of course. Whatever you want."

Since it was just beginning to get dark at the crash site when they arrived, they waited until the next morning to head down to Alchera. Shepard sat in silence the entire ride down in the shuttle. Hackett watched her carefully, and he could see that she was struggling with her emotions. Not that he could blame her. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to visit the site of your own death. It was hard enough when it was someone you cared about.

They had talked most of the night about their newly defined relationship. He knew that she would still treat him as the Fleet Admiral he was-at least most of the time. She didn't seem to have a problem teasing him from time-to-time. But only when his crew was not around. He smiled as he thought about it. She was still a marine to the bone, and he was damn proud.

Now that the actions that Leon, David and himself had taken were out in the open, he was grateful that she seemed to have taken it so well. It certainly could have gone differently. He was sure it was strange for her-having people in her life that had acted as father-figures, completely without her knowledge. He only hoped that they would have time to really work it all out. The Reapers were coming, and he knew the odds were not in their favor.

But he also knew that if anyone could turn that around, it was the woman sitting across from him. No matter what happened, he would always be proud of her. She had a quality about her, something that was hard to define, but something that made people willing to follow her anywhere. And even among the top officers in the Alliance, few people could match her strategic skills. Finally the shuttle touched down, and he was pulled from his thoughts.

"You ready for this?"

She nodded at him and said, "Yeah, I think so."

"Do you want me to come with you or wait in the shuttle?"

She considered very briefly before replying, "I think I'd rather go myself. At least to start."

He nodded and took seat. He watched as she put her gear on and walked towards the shuttle door. She hesitated. Looking over her shoulder, she met his eyes. He saw her square her shoulders and then nod at him before turning back and walking out the door. She was gone for quite some time. He would have been worried if he didn't periodically reach out to her over the radio. She always responded-sometimes just a short acknowledgement, and sometimes she would explain what she was seeing. Every time he could hear the emotion in her voice.

It was about two hours after she had left the shuttle when he reached out and she didn't respond. He tried several times, but nothing. He put his gear on and headed out the door. Pulling up his omni-tool, he located her signal. She was not moving, so he quickly made his way to her location. He found her standing in what looked like wreckage from the CIC. She was holding a datapad in her hand and just staring at it. Walking up behind her, he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Shepard?"

She turned towards him and he could see the tears streaming down her face.

"They all died here. All these people, including me. But I came back. Why did I come back? What makes me so fucking special?"

"Everything."

"What?"

"Everything about you. I've thought about this quite a bit recently, and I'm not sure it's something I can really explain. But everyone who's ever met you can knows it, can feel it. You are special. There is no one else like you in the galaxy. And we need you. I may not agree with Cerberus on anything else, but I do agree with them on that. I'm sorry that you have to bear that weight, but I'm so, so proud of you for doing it."

She didn't reply, but she had stopped crying. She grabbed his hand and led him away. They walked for a bit, past several other pieces of wreckage, before she finally stopped. She let go of his hand and turned towards him. He could see a piece of the outer hull behind her, the name "Normandy" still visible after all this time.

"Here."

"Pardon?"

"This is where the monument should go. Here it can be a monument not only to every single life lost that day, but a sign of hope, of rising from the ashes. Because the Normandy rose again. I rose again. There is a war coming our way. And their will be much more death and destruction. But we will make it through. And we will all rise again."

And there it was. That courage that Leon had seen all those years ago in a young girl hiding in a barn. The inspiration that all of her former teammates had spoke of. The resolve that had impressed David enough to back her as a Spectre candidate. The enigma that was Commander Kiliane Shepard.

He simply smiled and said, "Here."

They went together to retrieve the monument from the shuttle and put it in it's new home. After sharing a moment of silence, they made their way back to shuttle and back to the SSV Tyree. It was a short trip back to where they were to meet up with the Normandy.

They stood in the hangar as she was getting ready to leave.

"Shepard, be careful. I know that if anyone can go through the Omega 4 Relay and come back, it's you. But no unnecessary risks. Just do what you need to and get out."

"Of course, Sir."

"And if you get a chance, drop Anderson a line. He's not going to take my word for it that you're okay after everything."

Laughing, Shepard nodded.

"Will do."

They stared at each other for a few long seconds before she saluted, turned and walked away. As he watched the shuttle leave that would take her back to the Normandy, he pulled out his omni-tool and sent a quick message.

David,

Our girl will be okay. You and I have a lot to talk about. It may be time for you to make that move you've been considering.

-Steven