A/N: As promised, the weekly update. :) See the first chapter for the disclaimer. Tony gets a little more emotional by the end of this chapter, so I'd have those tissues ready. As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and please review. :)

Chapter 20: Take Me Out

Ziva walked into the house, finding Tony lounging on the couch as always. His body position was relaxed, but his face was agitated. "Something the matter, Tony?" she asked softly.

"I'm bored," he replied.

"Well, I have an idea."

"Shoot," Tony said, sitting upright quickly.

"I do not think you really want me to shoot you," Ziva said, confused.

"No, I mean, tell me your idea."

"Okay. Let's go out."

"Okay. Where are we going?"

"Get dressed and you will find out."

"You know, I don't like surprises," Tony said as he stood. "But for you and for today, Miss David, I think I'll make an exception."

"You either do or I will shoot you," Ziva replied, smirking. She was fortunate for the few instances where Tony actually was back to his old self. It made the moments where Tony wasn't himself that much better to deal with.

Tony reappeared in a pair of loose jeans and a T-shirt, and Ziva looked at him critically. "I've lost some weight," Tony conceded quietly.

"Quite a bit," she replied.

He sighed softly. "I just… have no appetite. I eat something but… Gibbs isn't gonna sit here and force-feed me… mostly because Ducky won't let him."

Ziva smiled slightly.

"But… I mean, you've been here. You've watched me eat."

"Yes, I have," she said softly, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Which is why I think we need to get you some new pants."

"What's wrong with these?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"Even with the belt, they are falling off."

"That's because I haven't been working out either."

"You work out?" she teased gently. He smiled.

"Sometimes," he replied. "So, are we leaving or what?"

"Yes."

"And we'll get me new clothes if you go shopping for swimsuits."

She rolled her eyes, sighing. "No."

"Then I'm not going shopping."

"You're not driving, Tony."

"I have a choice, Ziva," he said.

"You want to stay inside all day?" she asked.

"Maybe I'll go for a run."

"When was the last time you went for a run?"

Tony shrugged. "What does that matter? I know not to over-do it."

"What would you rather do, Tony?"

"It doesn't matter to me, Ziva. I just don't want to go shopping without getting something out of it for me."

"You're getting clothes."

"That's not what I meant."

She sighed again before smirking. "Fine. BUT, I get to pick out the swimsuits, not you."

He grinned childishly. "Deal."

They walked over to her car, climbing in. They drove to the mall, with Tony bracing for dear life as Ziva swerved in and out of traffic. When she finally pulled into a parking space, he caught his breath, glancing over at her.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"I'm driving back," he replied.

She shrugged. "Whatever, Tony." They climbed out of the car and walked into the mall for the day's shopping trip.

*~*~*~*

They returned back to Gibbs' house, leaving Ziva's bags in the car and bringing Tony's into the house. They dropped them off in his room before walking back into the living room and sitting on the couch. He stifled a yawn, and she frowned. "Still not sleeping well?" she asked.

"I'm sleeping better," Tony told her honestly. "I just haven't been out much."

"Yes, I can see that. You are turning as white as a bunny."

Tony furrowed his brow, confused for a moment before shaking his head. "Ghost or snow, Ziva," he said. "No one says bunny."

"Bunnies are white, yes?" she said.

"Not all bunnies."

"Well, whatever."

Tony smiled.

"How about a movie?" Ziva asked.

"Good plan," Tony replied. "Which one?"

Before either of them could say anything else, there was a knock on the door. They looked at each other before Ziva got up to answer it, finding Jenny standing there. "Director," she greeted. Tony's eyebrows shot up.

"Hi, Ziva," Jenny replied.

"Come on in."

Jenny nodded, walking in and heading for the couch. Tony stood up, greeting Jenny with a gentle hug. "Hey, Jenny," he said softly.

"Hi, Tony," she replied. "How're you doing?"

"I'm doing better."

They sat down, and Ziva smiled. "We were just about to put in a movie," Ziva said. "Would you like to join us, Director?"

"I don't want to impose," Jenny said. "I just came to see for myself how you're doing."

"Feel free to stay," Tony replied with a smile. "I like the company."

"Keeps you from thinking?" Ziva asked softly. Tony sighed.

"No, it's not that. It's just… I've gotten used to always having someone here. It'd be weird to not have that anymore."

"If you plan on going home at some point, you are going to need to get used to it."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed softly. "I'd be okay with it. But I like the company while I can get it."

Neither woman said anything, simply smiling and sitting on the couch with him. "So, what movie are we putting in?" Ziva asked after a moment.

"Ladies choice," Tony said. Ziva looked over at Jenny, who shrugged.

"I probably won't stay that long," she said. "You two are better off picking the movie."

Ziva and Tony looked at one another. "Great Escape!" they said at the same time. Jenny looked back and forth between them, amused.

After the decision was made, Ziva got up and put in the movie. Jenny sat with them as the movie began, watching as Tony commented on almost everything and Ziva would roll her eyes and come back with something else. Jenny smiled, knowing that meant that Tony was starting to do better. For that, she was happy, because Tony was a good agent and someone she cared about.

What she didn't know, and what no one but Gibbs and Tony knew, was that she wasn't seeing the whole picture.

*~*~*~*

Gibbs walked in that night, finding Tony and Ziva watching a different movie. Watching wasn't an accurate description, as the two of them were bickering over a plot point. He shook his head, smiling slightly at the ridiculousness of their argument.

He put the bag of Chinese food down in front of them, and the fighting temporarily paused as they both reached into the bag for food. They were relatively quiet until they pulled out the boxes and decided to start picking at each other's foods. Gibbs rolled his eyes, eating his own dinner in another chair as the two of them fought.

Just like old times.

After dinner, Ziva left, and Tony excused himself to take a shower. Gibbs cleaned up the mess Tony and Ziva had made, which was mostly the empty cartons he told them to leave, before going downstairs to work on the boat. After a little while, the stairs creaked, and Tony made it even further into the basement tonight.

"How do you go about things when you look at everything differently?" Tony asked quietly.

Gibbs glanced over, noticing that for once, Tony expected him to answer. Gibbs sighed, shrugging and continuing working. "You figure out how you're looking at them," Gibbs replied. "Once you know that, you'll know how to handle it."

"What if you can't figure that out?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if something so terrible happened to you that you just… you don't know how to… where to go… what to do… How do you figure things out?"

Gibbs pondered the question for a minute. This was another thing he wasn't good at- the personal and philosophical questions. But he had to try to answer this. "I'm not sure," he said finally. "I don't know how to answer that."

Tony sighed.

"Have you tried asking Sydney? Or Ducky? Or anyone else?"

"No," Tony said. "I still don't… want them to think… and if I were to ask Ziva or McGee something like this, then they'd know there was something more."

"How do you figure?" Gibbs asked, glancing over.

"How many times have I been kidnapped?" Tony returned. "Beaten? Almost killed?"

"I lost count."

"But this one gets to me?"

"You were tortured, DiNozzo. That's different."

"How? How's that so damn different?"

Gibbs looked over to Tony.

"That's what I can't wrap my head around," the younger man continued quietly. "I've been beaten before. I've been kidnapped. I've almost died before. But this… this is different…"

"No one's ever done that to you before," Gibbs said softly, turning his glance from Tony as he felt himself getting slightly emotional.

"No," Tony whispered. "They haven't."

Gibbs said nothing, keeping himself from looking at Tony.

"I've been beaten," Tony continued. "I've been betrayed. I've been kidnapped, nearly killed… hospitalized by people I'm supposed to trust… hurt by people I'm supposed to trust… but… but never… like that. I just…" Tony's voice cracked, giving away his emotions even though Gibbs still wasn't looking at him. "I don't know what to do, Gibbs. I don't know how to move on."

Gibbs cleared his throat of any emotion, still keeping his vision away from his agent. "Sometimes, Tony, admitting it and getting the words out there is a start," he said softly.

"I… I know. Th-that's what S-Sydney's been saying. But… I-I don't know, Gibbs. I-I can't."

Gibbs nodded silently, not sure what else to say.

Out of nowhere, Tony slammed his fist into Gibbs' stairs, causing the older man to jump slightly. "It just doesn't make any sense, Gibbs!" he said loudly. "Why? I don't get it." He punched the wall, and Gibbs walked over toward the stairs.

"What don't you get?" Gibbs asked gently, hoping that Tony would stop hurting himself.

"EVERYTHING!" Tony swung for the wall again, only to have his hand caught by Gibbs. "I don't understand! I..." Tony's voice lost its volume as he lost control of his emotions and started crying. "I don't understand anything anymore. I can't handle this, Gibbs. I can't function like this." Tony took his clean hand and covered his face, crying into it.

Gibbs closed his eyes, sliding onto the stair next to Tony and extending a comforting arm to the younger man. Tony decided that it wasn't worth pretending anymore as he cried into his good hand. Gibbs was still holding Tony's other wrist, which was attached to Tony's bleeding hand. Gibbs struggled to keep his own emotions at bay as the man, who he had come to care about as the son he never had, broke down in front of him. It wasn't the first time that Tony had cried in front of him, but it was the first time that Tony was open about it.

"I c-can't do this, Boss," Tony cried. Gibbs sighed softly, pulling Tony against him gently. "It's too much."

"You're doing great, Tony," Gibbs assured him. "You're doing very well."

"But I don't think I can do this anymore. I just… every time I think I'm s-starting to get better, I end up three feet behind."

"You're being too hard on yourself. You're making good progress."

"I just want to be okay again, Gibbs."

"You'll get there. It just takes some time."

Tony cried harder, quietly repeating, "I just want to be okay" to himself. Gibbs swallowed, trying not to let Tony know how much seeing Tony like this was hurting him. After a while, Tony calmed down, and Gibbs finally let go of his wrist.

"Let's get your hand cleaned up," Gibbs said. Tony nodded silently, standing up with Gibbs help. The two of them went upstairs into the bathroom where they washed out the cuts and bandaged them. "Is it hurting badly?"

Tony shook his head silently.

"Tomorrow we'll have Ducky look at it."

Tony nodded, still not saying anything.

"Do you want to get some rest now?"

Tony nodded again without a word.

"Okay. Go ahead."

Tony started to make his way up the stairs before stopping. "I'm sorry, Boss," he said softly.

"You have no reason to be sorry," Gibbs told him.

"I just want everything to be okay again."

"I know."

Tony nodded, turning and starting up the stairs again before stopping and turning back around. "Thanks for everything you've been doing, Boss," he said softly.

Gibbs nodded, not sure what else to say.

"Good night," Tony said, walking upstairs and leaving Gibbs alone in the living room with his own thoughts.