As per the arcane rules of D&D, the ship could go no further. The Villainous Vigilantes would have to go by foot the rest of the way to their destination. Bill had used his sight to chart the way for them. They would have to cross two small kingdoms, a big river, and ton of forests and dungeons to get to two large peaks, between which a ravine would connect them to a tunnel that would finally take them to the world of Talisman.
Juan had once played the game with some friends back in Reality, but he had found it too long and too structured. It just didn't feel right for a board game and was not loose enough to be enjoyable like an actual game of D&D or Pathfinder. Not that he was too big into those games, either. The Writer in him wanted things to still be orderly and make sense, just as the Order stood for. D&D often became anything but!
Revolver walked up to him and thrust a long sheet of paper into his hands. "The demon Doritio had these printed out for everyone. He called them our character sheets."
Juan looked his over and cried out, "A Level One Nuisance? What is the meaning of this garbage. I have no useful traits, skills, six coppers, and HP is an abysmal 7! I'll be a hinderance to the team rather than a help! Let me have a look at your sheet."
The tall, mustached man handed his over and Juan read it over carefully. "This is insane. You are a level 17 Rogue with all these useful abilities. You can bluff, sneak, negotiate, pick locks, rig explosions, wield any weapon. Heck! You even still have your guns! How does that work?"
"Simple," Huon growled from behind. "The ship requires advanced technology to work, but Revolver's guns operate along the designs of simple locks, levers, and basic chemistry. The only thing advanced about his weapons is how they are assembled. Otherwise, anyone could put them together not break the rules of old technology."
"Trust the Steel Inquisitor to have the particulars," Juan grumbled. "You can't even see things clearly with all of that blue, spirit stuff!"
"I can see more clearly than any man," Huon snapped.
"Easy Amigo," Revolver said, leading Juan away. "Boy, I know you are upset, but now is not the time or place. We need to work together. I swore I would help you out. I keep my promises."
"It's just not fair! I bet that Bill has it set up to where he is a level 99 god of death and chaos!"
"However did you figure that out," Bill asked happily as he zipped on by suddenly. "Come on you sluggish sacks of rotting flesh! I Want to get to Aizen before he realizes how close we are! I want to be right on top of that smug grin so I can RIP IT OFF!"
"Bill," Juan called out angrily. "Does this sheet mean I am really all these things?"
"Yes. Yes it does," the demon gloated.
"I'll die if I trip," Juan protested. "I need to be better!"
"Then get better," Bill laughed. "As if that will happen!"
"Why don't I just fly us to our destination," Darkstalker grumbled. "That would be faster. We dragons do better in the air than crawling on the ground like a common lizard!"
"Oh, don't be so whiny," Bill huffed. "It's not that bad!"
"Besides, don't you know anything about dorky, nerdy games," Deadpool called out. "The moment you do something actually intelligent to make your life easier, the game becomes impossible. Forge ahead worthy adventurers!"
Darkstalker shut him up by punching his pouch. Revolver laid a hand on Juan shoulder and leaned in.
"Friend, this is all supposed to be a game, right? Tell me how it works," he whispered.
"It's a roleplaying game. Based on your class, level, stats, stuff, and everything else, you play a certain part in a quest. As you complete challenges in that quest, you gain experience and stuff, allowing you to go up levels," Juan explained. "You hope to gain enough so that you can in the end finish your quest and win the game."
"If that's the case, the take heart! I'll help you get those levels and items so that you can survive until we face Aizen, and then we'll kill him. I made sure to load up on everything we'll need to kill even a god." Revolver looked excited and pleased with himself.
Juan, too, lit up and said, "You'll have to tell me all about it!"
"In time, but right now, we have a group to follow, and levels for you to rise up to!"
Juan gave a stiff nod and followed. According to the sheet, he had a small pack with some basic adventuring stuff. The group hoped to push towards the mountains within a few days, so their provisions were light, and he only had a thin sleeping roll. At least he had that! Though, knowing Bill, there were probably some unpleasant surprises hidden that even the character sheet did not list.
As a level one, Juan could feel that his stamina had decreased. This world was actually making him weaker! He cursed Bill. He cursed the entire quest and predicament. After this was done, he didn't want to have anything else to do with Tscheapwhetzars and even Guardians. He just wanted some rest and a vacation!
It was a simple path they had to follow, and sure enough, an encounter lay just ahead of them. A group of six kobolds sat cooking a goat over measly fire. Having no weapons of his own, Juan stooped to pick up a rock. He threw it pathetically, but it didn't matter. Bill had killed the six enemy combatants with just snap of his fingers. Their heads had snapped back with a chorus of sickening crunches. Darkstalker leaned in and ate the roasting goat with quick snap. Juan had seen enough death by now that he didn't care as walked up to loot the bodies.
"The lion's share of the XP and coins go to me of course," Bill said happily.
Sure enough, Juan watched as only a few XP points went to him and he got two extra copper pieces. He made a noise in his throat, but at least he was able to pick up a shoddy scimitar.
Better than nothing, he told himself.
It was then that he realized that there was still something he could do. In D&D, fighting was not the only way one gained experience and got better as a character. Doing chores, practicing, and completing objectives all gave experience.
"Revolver, as we travel, can you help me learn to be a better fighter," he asked his creation hopefully.
"It's a short time before we get to the next world, but I'll do what I can," Revolver promised with a small smile.
Despite everything that Juan had done to the man as his creator and writer, taking away his family, his faith, and hope, he was still a good man. He liked that about writing the dark story he had. It made him feel safe to have revolver around, even if Bill had threatened to let it slip who Revolver's writer was.
As they continued on the path, they had three other encounters. Three orcs and a petty half-orc mage. Two riddle speaking centaurs. Finally, a dark fairy and four human slaves, held captive with a mind warping spell. In each instance, Bill swooped in and killed everyone, taking most of the prizes for himself. Huon and Revolver just let it slide. Darkstalker kept looking like he was chewing on his tongue, which Juan thought might be painful. Before the fairy encounter, he had spoken up and said that he sensed other minds. Juan wondered why he thought to divulge that information. It almost appeared as though the dragon wanted to contribute in some way. Or was he just making idle observations?
In any case, their previous encounters could not have prepared Juan for what happened when the path finally connected with a larger, proper road.
"There you have it everypony, I think we are about to start our first real encounter in this new, magical realm. Be on your guard," a voice declared happily.
Darkstalker's nostrils flared and he spat, "How did I not notice them coming?"
Bill cried out happily, "Now this is a surprise!"
"Why does looking at them hurt my eyes," Huon asked grouchily.
Juan just starred as he saw a group of ponies, and a small dragon led by a draconequus dressed in a bad knockoff of Legolas' outfit. Discord. Somehow, they had just run into a My Little Pony Dungeons and Dragons campaign…