When Kate gets back to the precinct, Castle is already there, two coffees in hand, one she assumes is for her, as promised, and seeing him back here, after all this time - after all they did last night - with coffee sends flutters through her. He's standing near Ryan and Espo's desks and by the looks of it, she may be a little late to warn him about how the boys might pull him aside for a talk. His face visibly blanches at something Esposito says, his skin going white as a sheet and his throat bobs as he swallows heavily.
Kate wants to laugh but part of her also knows how intimidating the boys can be. Castle legitimately looks scared and probably with good reason.
She hasn't told anyone about their relationship, save from Lanie, and part of her hopes her partners don't know yet. She hasn't ruled out the possibility of him coming back to work with her and she knows that option will be off the table if they're known to be dating. But with the way they were talking this morning and how they seem to be cornering Castle now, Kate is pretty sure they know something. Hopefully they can keep their mouths shut after this.
She rolls her eyes at the sight of them and moves out of the elevator, ready to relieve Rick of this torture. She wonders when she started thinking of him as Rick; probably sometime last night while his tongue-
Okay, not a safe line of thought for work, Kate.
She mentally shakes herself but can't do much to cover the flush that covers her cheeks as she approaches.
"Hey, Castle," she says casually, deliberately interrupting their conversation and giving him an out to join her at her desk.
Castle turns from them at the sound of her voice and Espo points to his own eyes and then to Castle in a classic "I'm watching you gesture" that has Rick quickening his pace.
He looks a little shaken when he reaches her desk and she can't help the smile that curves the corner of her mouth upward. He looks kind of adorable, his hair ruffled as if he's passed his hands through it too many times (probably during the boys' interrogation) and his skin is still quite pale. But when he looks up at her, all traces of terror disappear and his eyes shine with the same light they had this morning. The urge to kiss him makes itself known and she looks away from him, because no, this is the precinct, her work place. There will be absolutely none of that here. None.
They'll have to talk about that.
Castle must read her need for a distraction because he too looks down at her desk.
"I feel like things have changed since the last time I've been here," he muses.
"What do you mean?" She asks slightly panicked because, of course things have changed, they slept together. And she swears if he brings this up right now she will-
"On your desk, I mean. Your stuff, you've moved it."
Oh. That is not where she thought he was going with this.
"Really?"
"Yeah, like these," he says picking up the row of elephants off her desk. "I remember these being in a different place."
"Well, not everything has changed," she says, motioning with her head to the chair that still sits beside her desk. His chair still remains.
He opens his mouth to respond when Esposito comes up behind him, his hand coming up to clasp his good shoulder and Castle startles, not expecting it in the slightest and the elephants tumble from his hands. Kate feels her heart seize as she sees the scene unfold before her. Castle fumbles, does his best to try and catch it but it's too late and with only one functioning arm, there's no way he can make it. The elephants hit the ground with a resounding crack and that slashes her heart open. All three of them stand still for a couple of seconds; they all know what those elephants meant to her, know who they were from.
She doesn't have to look. She knows they're broken.
"Kate I'm so sorry. I- I'll get them fixed, I know someone who does this kind of stuff and he-" He stumbles over his words and she stops him, doesn't want him to blame himself. It was an accident. And accident that leaves her heart raw and mirroring the broken pieces on the floor.
"It was nobody's fault." She says. Castle bends down and meticulously starts picking up the pieces, trying his best not to lose any parts, hoping they can salvage it.
"Kate, there's something in here..."
Her heart stops. Those elephants belonged to her mother. If something was in there, then she must have been the one to leave it.
"It's a cassette tape," he says, standing from the place where he'd been crouched on the floor, and hands it over to her.
Kate's hands are shaking. This is important, she can feel it in her bones. Her mother left this for her, she knows it.
"Do we have anything to play this?" she asks, looking from Castle to Esposito.
"I think there may be one in the Captain's office."
Kate practically springs from her desk and sure enough, there's a tape player in the office. They call Ryan in and gather around the old machine.
She inserts the cassette with trembling hands and presses play. The voice she hears sends prickles of ice up her spine and a shiver runs over her body.
They're talking about her mom.
And suddenly they have a name, a lead.
They make an arrest.
Senator William Bracken had her mother murdered.
They consult with Gates in terms of procedure. Castle is by her side the whole time, her rock. He gives her space when she needs it, provides comfort with his touch when they can afford to sneak a couple of seconds to themselves while trying not to give their relationship away.
But she's so glad he's here for this, for her.
He accompanies her to make the arrest but lets her go in alone. He knows her so well, knows what her boundaries are, respects them; he knows how important this is to her, how she needs to do this on her own, to close this chapter of her life by herself.
So he waits for her outside of the building where a squad car is parked, ready for when she escorts the Senator outside to be transferred to holding.
When she cuffs the man who kills her mother, her mind is blank, a little numb, but she doesn't forget a single step, isn't going to see this bastard let go because she forgot to read him his Miranda rights. She knows this process like the back of her hand.
Kate guides him down the steps of the building towards the squad car and Esposito takes over, making sure the man takes a seat.
She caught him. The man who had her mother murdered is going to trial. The car pulls away from the curb and she isn't sure how she feels exactly. Relieved, content, numb. Part of her feels empty. It feels like a victory but it's almost bitter sweet.
She turns back to Castle, who waits patiently by her side, ready to give her whatever it is she needs.
They caught him. She never would have been able to do this without him. She might never have had this moment had he not broken the damn elephants.
Smiling, Kate wraps her arms around his waist, holding him tightly to her and turning her face to hide in the cove of his neck. His arms band around her, holding her, steadying her and she inhales deeply, his scent surrounding her.
She feels at home with him here.
"Thank you," she whispers against his skin, her lips brushing his neck. "For being here when it all went down, for finding the final piece of the puzzle. I never would have been able to do this without you." He pulls his upper body away so that he can look into her eyes.
"Kate, this was all you. I didn't know any more than you that there would be a tape. It was an accident, a fluke. But you... you put years of your life into this investigation. This was you."
Kate sighs, didn't realize how much she needed to hear that.
"I don't know who I am without this, Rick. I've been chasing this thing so long, I just... I've let it shape me, define me. What if I'm nothing without it?" She tells him her greatest fears, selfishly hoping he has the answers because it seems he most often does. He brings his good arm up to her face, brushing one of the loose strands from her cheek and placing it behind her ear. He smiles at her, apparently unfazed by her revelation.
"You're who you've always been. You're a passionate, justice-seeking and open-hearted detective. And a damn good one too; the best in New York city."
She smiles back at him, can't help it. He never stops believing in her and she can't express how grateful she is for that; how it gives her strength from day to day.
"Maybe we could get away for a few days?" he suggests and she can't help thinking it sounds heavenly. "I was thinking I could finally show you my place in the Hamptons?"
She wants to. She really, really does. But she's just back at work from the few days off Gates has granted her to see him through the first few days of his recovery. She doesn't exactly feel comfortable asking for more time; it doesn't feel fair to leave the boys with her work load again.
"That sound lovely, Castle. I really wish I could, but I just got back. I don't know if Gates would be willing to give me more time."
He doesn't look too disappointed; his eyes convey understanding. "Whatever you need, Kate," he says, pulling her back in for a hug. She goes willingly and takes another deep breath.
She gets back to the precinct and both Gates and the boys are there. Castle had stopped for a coffee run but said he'd be joining her at the precinct soon. It's nearing the end of the day but she still has a load of paperwork.
"Detective Beckett," her Captain calls. "I'd like to see you in my office for a few minutes."
She gives Ryan and Espo a quizzical look and they both shrug. She shuts the door to Gates' office behind her and turns towards the woman's desk.
"Captain?" she asks while Gates motions for her to take a seat.
"How are you, detective?"
Kate thinks, isn't sure what she's supposed to say. Should she reassure her Captain and tell her she feels fine or be honest? The look in Gates' eyes says she won't be buying anything else but the truth.
"I'm not exactly sure. I always thought I'd be happy, or free in some sense, but... It doesn't feel quite like I expected."
Gates nods and looks pensive, like she's mulling over her response, evaluating Kate in the process.
"I'd like you to take a week off," she says, surprising her.
"Is this a punishment?" Kate asks.
"No, it's a health recommendation," she says simply. Kate isn't sure if she should be offended or pleasantly surprised that her Captain is telling her to take a week off. But then she remembers a certain writer's invitation and a week off doesn't seem like such a bad idea after all.
"Okay," she agrees and she sees the brief glimpse of surprise in her Captain's eyes. She doesn't usually take time off, and she's the first to protest when anyone suggests she take the vacation days she's accumulated. Not this time.
"Rest up, detective. I expect you back here in a week."
Kate takes her cue and heads out of the office. The look the boys give her has her wondering if maybe they have something to do with Gates insisting she take the week. They care about her.
Ryan's little smirk gives it away and she knows they mean well. She's lucky to have them as part of her team.
The elevator dings and she looks up to see Castle coming in, coffees in hand despite the late hour. He smiles when he sees her but tries to contain it when the boys turn to look at him as well.
They haven't talked about anything, but she knows the guys were probably rough on him with "the talk."
He walks toward her and extends his arm, offering her the coffee, not getting too close. She makes sure their fingers touch though, just because she can and she feels like it and after this day she just wants to be near him.
He looks up into her eyes and when he sees her smiling, he doesn't hesitate to reciprocate. She gets in a little closer, not too close to be indecent for the precinct but close enough for the words she speaks to remain private.
"You still up for a trip to the Hamptons, Castle?"
A/N: One more chapter to go! I can't believe we've almost reached the end. Thank you for supporting me and helping me get this far, keeping me motivated to write this story. You're all pretty amazing. I'd love to know what you think of this one.
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