The screen flickered to life to see WarThunder sitting on a throne with a comical sized gift right next to him.

"So," WarThunder held out a piece of paper in his hand, "We're doing something different today. You guys get some gifts."

"Really?" Ruby perked up, "What kind of gifts?"

"I have no idea," WarThunder shrugged, "I haven't opened them yet, but there's a list so, let's find out together."

The cast grew anxious as WarThunder cleared his throat.

"To the Watchers of The Infinite Realities," WarThunder read off the piece of paper in his hands, "We at Phoenix Warehouse Productions have seen that your kinda stuck there. So, we are sending a Care Package to try and keep you sane (I said try Nora). We hope that these will help. While we at the Warehouse would like to remind you that we are not from your reality we will treat you as we would your counterparts, out friends and family."

WarThunder opened the box and began throwing gifts at the audience first up was Team RWBY, "To Ruby, a plushy of your mother, father, sister, and uncle by adoption Phoenix. Weiss, all the blackmail you could ever wish for on Jacques…think there's one of us giving him a Texas Wedgie. Blake, a copy of Loveless, a book about love, friendship, and hardship, and a copy of Jaune's Poetry journal. Yang, one-thousand and one Huntress Hair Styles."

"Look at the tiny Yang!" Ruby giggled at the sighed of the plushy in her hands.

Weiss twirled the jumpdrive in her hands, "I wonder what dear old daddy's been hiding all these years."

Blake didn't answer, instead she dove straight into Jaune's poetry book.

"None of these better involve cutting," Yang opened the book and began searching through the various styles.

"Moving on to NPR," WarThunder continued, "Nora, a sloth plushy with Ren's color scheme. Pyrrha, the Arc family photo album, look at how cute her is in a flower girl dress. (Shota Jaune Pics) and your car from the first film, here are the keys, it's brand new without a scratch. Ren, A Better Cooking, and your very own cookbook with recipes dependent on fighting style."

"Not a real sloth?" Nora snuggled the plushy anyway.

"I mean there's no way to keep an animal alive in a theater," WarThunder shrugged.

"I thought the blemishes made her beautiful?" Pyrrha looked at the keys in her hand.

"True," WarThunder smiled at her, "But now you get to make your own."

"Interesting," Ren read over the cook books, "I can't wait to try these out when we leave."

"Now for the criminals," A catapult materialized beside him, "This'll be fun. Mercury, twenty million dollars don't be afraid to do what you want. Cinder, the photo album of you, Jaune, and Ember. As well as your counterpart's diary, don't worry I didn't read it, what kind of father would that make me? Emerald, another twenty million we both know what you want so, go get it. Roman, an endless case of Cuban Cigars with an endless supply of matches. Neo, an unending supply of your favorite food, always at the perfect temp. Adam, a boot to the head."

None of them could respond. Funny enough, flinging gifts at someone with a medieval siege weapon tends to hurt. They're lucky none of them died. WarThunder was still laughing his ass off on his throne.

"Ok," the catapult disappeared, "Back to normal, but you guys gotta admit, that was pretty funny."

"He's right you know," Ironwood chuckled.

"That was pretty funny," Ilia poked Adam's unconscious body.

"Ilia," WarThunder pointed at her, "You're up first, some advice. Tell her how you fell, even if she doesn't feel the same way or you must share it is better to have confessed than not. Sun, a new vest with a never-ending supply of bananas in the pocket. Neptune, the number of a phobia-specialist, you need help man. Velvet, plushies of your closest friends and your crush. Coco, five million to your favorite store once it gets rebuilt and forty for outfits to team RWBY and JNPR."

Ilia turned pink at her gift. While Neptune turned red. Sun immediately began testing his vest. Velvet compared the plushy with Coco and compared the two. Coco pushed the plushy to Velvet's lips.

"Not as good as the original," Velvet smirked.

"I knew it," Coco grinned.

"Do you two need a room?" WarThunder asked.

"Can you give us one?" Coco asked.

WarThunder snapped his fingers and a small room appeared around the two love birds.

"Damn," Yang could feel the walls shaking, "They don't waste time, do they?"

"One is a rabbit," Kali shrugged.

"Moving on," WarThunder chuckled, "Ghira, a portrait of Captn Kali, Keeper of the Code. Oh yeah, you missed that one."

"Is my wife a pirate?" Ghira examined the portrait. Kali looked at herself and smiled, of how she wished she could've seen that one.

"Kali, pics of Blake's future children. Winter, blackmail against Whitley…I helped run him up the flagpole and if you look closely you can see Phoenix flipping him off. Summer, Triple chocolate chip, and angelic strawberry cake recipes, enjoy little sis. Tai, advice, they gave Summer back to you, make her cry and you die. Raven, Phoenix promised to do this, a boot to the jaw. Your counterpart made Phoenix promise if she was ever a bad mother he would break her jaw. Can't get to her so will settle on you. Qrow, blackmail on Raven, who knew she had back hair you can braid?"

"You do know we're twins right?" Qrow looked over the blackmail, "I know she doesn't have any back hair."

"Now the teachers," WarThunder was running out of gifts, "Ozpin, an unbreakable never empty coffee mug engraved with: Good Mentor, Great Friend, Better Brother. Keep an eye on the kids for me big brother. Glynda, advice: change your style you look like a dominatrix and get your head on straight and tell him you love him. Port, I miss our discussions about how to take down grimm, so, have this Adrian Midnight-Phoenix's Guide to Hunting. Oobleck, the Pirate Codex from the previous world, and a box that'll deliver any important book from any world to your office. Lastly, Ironwood, a picture of your old team and a jumpdrive with classified information for a world that may or may not come up in the future, won't spoil the surprise now."

Sincerely,

Adrian Midnight-Phoenix

CEO of Phoenix Warehouse Productions

Father to Villains

Uncle to Heroes

Former Huntsman

A man who destroyed a planet

A man who saved a Galaxy

A man who is tired.

…

Special thanks to Phoenix Warehouse Productions for providing the gifts.

Don't forget to support the Genital WarThunder P/a/treon!

I'll see y'all next time.