Chapter Twenty-One: Fathers

September 14, 2003

"Casyn?! That's your friggin' surprise?! I would've preferred an ass full of rock-salt, Bobby!" Delaney slammed the door to his study closed and watched angrily as he rounded his heavy desk and dropped into his chair with a firm grip on his flask.

"THANKS FOR THE FLOWERS!" Casyn scram all the way from the kitchen where she was rummaging through Bobby's refrigerator.

Bobby had called Laney the very same night she'd agreed to go shopping with Jess. To be honest, Laney had felt relieved that she'd be avoiding the shopping trip. She'd been starting to feel out of place at Sam's, no matter how nice and welcoming they'd been.

Delaney watched as Bobby's hand froze on the way to his mouth, the flask lingering close to his lips. She watched curiously as he lowered it and capped it, setting it down on the desk.

"Why?"

Delaney was stumped, "Wha….Why what?"

"Why? Why would you have preferred an ass full of rock-salt, Delaney? Why?" Bobby gave a little shrug of the shoulders with the last "why". He wrinkled his eyebrows at her and she took a step closer to him.

"Bobby…." She paused, giving her head an incredulous shake. "Are you… are you interrogating me?"

Bobby gave a chuckle and leaned back in his chair, "Hey, I'm just askin'. You're obviously pissed at the girl. God knows why."

"'Cause she's an asshole, that's why!" Delaney quickly sat in the chair in front of him and leaned forward, muttering quietly. "She's rude, gets in my business, and doesn't know the line between work and fun. Oh, and since we're talking about lines, she also doesn't know the one between friendly conversation and a damn therapy session!"

"She sounds like you." Bobby shrugged again.

"I would like to think I know a little better than that." Delaney crossed her arms roughly and leaned back in her chair as well, it creaked from the sudden movement and she glued her eyes to Bobby.

"Uh, you don't. And how old are you, Delaney? You sound like a little girl. You better get used to the idea of Casyn because she's gonna stick around whether we like it or not. And why are you denying her so much? She's your cousin, girl. She's family. "Bobby leaned forward suddenly, his face somber. "Most of us would give almost anything to have a Casyn. Because that's better than having someone you know go because of a monster. So consider yourself lucky, kid. Before I have to knock some sense into you."

Delaney didn't say anything as Bobby pulled something out of his desk and placed it in front of her. Delaney recognized it as the journal Casyn had said belonged to her father.

"I read it. And I don't know how in the hell I didn't think of it before but I think I know where your dad is."

And Delaney's heart froze.

…

September 15, 2003 3:00 AM

Vermont, Delaney's Old Cabin

Nostalgic. That was the one word for the old place when Delaney drove up in front of it, Casyn in the seat next to her.

It looked the same, except for a few minor things. Like how it looked darker and scarier and a lot more unfamiliar. It looked darker because, of course, it was three in the morning. But it also looked darker because she remembered the last time she'd ever looked out on it and what had made her leave it in the first place.

….

October 2nd, 1990 Delaney: Nine years old.

"Where are we going?"

Jane really didn't want to snap at Laney. She really didn't. But if she wouldn't stop asking questions soon, she didn't think she'd be able to stop herself.

It was four in the morning and they'd been packing all of Daddy's things into the car for a while now. Jane had let Delaney sleep for as long as she could but once Delaney had been ruffled, she usually couldn't. Jane was tired and upset and Delaney wasn't helping.

"Mom? Where are we going?" Delaney slipped off of the hood of her mom's car and trailed behind her mother as she strutted to the back of the car and opened the trunk.

There was a loud hoot from the woods and Delaney's breath caught, instinctively she grabbed onto her mother's arm. She usually refused to do so in other situations, because for God's sake, she was nine but it was dark and scary and she hadn't seen her father in a while.

"Delaney, either help me load the stuff up or sit down." Jane shook her daughter's arm off from her jacket and threw one of the various duffels that were by the cabin's door over her shoulder.

Delaney stumbled her way to the other stuff waiting to be loaded up, her eyes wide, flitting to every region of forest she could see.

She reached for her backpack and carefully put it on. As she was reaching for a suitcase her mother came up behind her and caused her to stumble forward a little bit. Delaney caught the wall before she fell forward but there was a loud thud as the pistol she'd been hiding fell out of her jacket pocket.

She reached for it quickly, trying to hide it before her mother saw her with it but just as her hand got a hold of it, her mother's hand smacked it away.

Jane roughly turned her around and Delaney closed her eyes, expecting a full on lecture.

But when her mother didn't begin to bombard her with curse words like she did when she was very angry or smack her upside the head, Delaney opened her eyes.

Jane was kneeling In front of her and from being that close to her, Delaney could see the wrinkles that hadn't been there two weeks ago and the bags that drove deep under her eyes. There was worry in her mother, a contamination of stress, anxiety, and everything else that was poison to the soul and body. There was nothing worse for a child, than to see their parent so close to unraveling. It was the unraveling of the child's safety net, foundation. Parents were supposed to be the invincible ones, the strongest of them all. Seeing her mother this close to the edge, scratched against her feeling of her mother being the ultimate protector. More and more, Delaney realized her world was the farthest it could be from perfect, or safe for that matter.

"Delaney, why do you have a pistol?" Delaney had never really been used to her mother's soft voice. Delaney wasn't a bad kid. She was curious and talkative and liked to run around as much as she could inside the house. So, subsequently, things were broken. She was athletic and every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday since she was five, her mother had taken her to ballet lessons, like any other little girl. Delaney enjoyed them, she really liked dancing, any kind. But she only danced when she felt like it, which upset everyone except herself. The point was, Jane had to shout. A lot. So when Jane used her soft voice, it came as a surprise.

"Mama… Where's daddy?"

Maybe it was because of how tough of a night it had been, how abrupt the phone call the day before had been. Maybe it was how Delaney wouldn't be quiet. Maybe it was how lonely and hurt Jane felt inside but instead of sugar coating it like a mother should, Jane spoke like a hunter.

"Daddy is dead."

…

Present time.

"It doesn't want to open. Not with any of the keys I picked out of mom's box, not with my lock pick, all the windows are sealed tight, and there is no back door anymore. So…. I think we're gonna have to knock the friggin' door down. Casyn, are you listening?"

Casyn was as comfortable as can be in the front seat of the Chevelle, headphones on and a half-eaten burger in her hands. And apparently, Casyn couldn't hear Delaney.

"Casyn!" Delaney, who was standing by Casyn's door, reached through the passenger side window and gave her a smack on the head. Casyn looked over at her with an irritated glare and took the headphones off.

"What?"

"There's no way in. We're gonna have to knock the door down. I need your help. And where did you get that burger anyway?"

Casyn looked held up the burger nonchalantly and shrugged, "Don't remember."

Delaney rolled her eyes and opened the door so Casyn could get out. Casyn discarded her MP3 and burger on the seat and tightened her belt.

They approached the door and Delaney noticed that Casyn was extremely familiar with the whole setting of the situation. Delaney had grown up in the cabin before them and had lived around the forest most of her life, like a wild woman, but that had been years ago and even as a child she'd been a little put off by the forest sounds. Casyn wasn't even starting or hugging herself for warmth. Not like Delaney had been earlier while trying to pick the lock and while rounding the house for any possible entries.

"You seem peachy." Delaney commented.

"What do you mean?" Casyn reach the door before Delaney did and put a hand on it. "This thing is fuckin' thick. How the hell are we gonna knock this down? It feels like friggin' castle."

"Just…. I don't know. We'll figure it out as we go. I mean, you're not freaked out by the setting we're in." Delaney softly pushed Casyn aside and examined the door, giving it a once over from the top to the bottom.

"What? Am I supposed to be scared of some critters? They're just little nuggets. They'll never get close enough to us." Casyn shrugged before a small smile came into play. "Why, are you?"

Delaney, who had been thumping her foot against the door, looked back at her. "What? No. Why would I be?"

"Sure. How about… we do this…" Casyn pushed a confused Delaney out of the way and walked a few feet away from the door.

Delaney caught her drift and her eyes widened, "Casyn, I don't think that's a good idea."

"I've seen your boy Dean do it. I thought you'd be more for the 'Woman can do anything men can and even better' drift."

"You don't have 50 pounds of muscle on you, Casyn! You're gonna hurt yourself"

"Oh shut up!"

There was the thud of Casyn's boots as she ran for the door and Delaney quickly debated whether she should tackle Casyn before she hit the door. It would be a lot less damaging than Casyn running into the door.

But before Lane could do anything, Casyn crashed into the door and like a dust bomb, dust flew everywhere. It all caught Delaney in the face and she inhaled it by accident. She began to cough and in between her hacking she heard the crash of something heavy and a loud, "Oww!"

"Casyn?" Delaney waited for the dust to part before she entered the house, trying desperately to catch sight of Casyn.

There was no sound and Delaney was still having trouble seeing and breathing. She took a step forward and felt the door creak under her. "Hey, if you're joking, it ain't fuckin' funny. Casyn?" She called out.

She rubbed at her eyes and she finally caught the shape of things. She was standing in the living room; it was curiously empty; she remembered they'd left everything. Maybe her mother had thrown everything out. Delaney was flustered about where the dust had come from until she saw a large sheet lying next to the front door she was standing on. But no Casyn.

Delaney pulled out the bigger knife she had tucked into her right boot and pulled on the slide door that opened up into the kitchen. It slid open with no noise and she tried her best to hold off the memories that the sight of her favorite place in the house brought to mind.

Casyn wasn't responding and she was sure Casyn had had no time to run off farther into the house. Delaney hadn't thought it possible for the house to be colder than it was outside but it was.

Moss was growing on the inside, sliding up and down walls. Dirt had arranged itself on the tile floor as a thick coat, a protection against the feeling of comfort and the home it had been. The long counter that rested against the wall opposite of her was clean, devoid of any kitchen utensils and electronics they had once had. A few leaves lingered on the counter and the broken window above the sink let her know how it had slithered in.

Delaney truly tried as hard as she could to cut herself off from all of the memories that burrowed themselves in her subconscious, that had eluded her until this precise moment, the moment she needed them the least. But her effort amounted to nothing as flashes of her father in the very same kitchen came back to her.

She remembered feeling groggy one morning, tired but hungry. She'd had a ballet recital the night before and she'd been more than a little pissed off that her father hadn't made it.

...

November 2nd, 1989

"Delaney! Where is it that you're going exactly?" The night was cold but Jane wasn't worried. She'd wrapped Delaney up in warm attire as best as she could, a little excessively if Delaney had a say. Jane watched as Delaney waddled away from her looking like a marshmallow in her heavy coat and scarf, her boots leaving small footprints in the snow. She couldn't help but smirk at that.

"I'm gonna go get him, that's what!" Delaney was furious, as was obvious in the way she was struggling to stomp her feet. How dare her father not show up for her ballet rehearsal?! Yeah, she was old enough to realize he was busy and any other time she'd riled in her reaction/feelings toward his absence but today the dam had been damn broken and she wasn't going to hide behind a "Oh, that's fine."

"Delaney, you know your dad is busy." Jane watched as Delaney began to rapidly speed up her steps, reaching the stairs in front of the performance hall, as other people rushed towards them as well, headed for the parking lot where all the cars waited.

Jane lost sight of her for a moment, and panic was sent as a pulse through her body. People were quickly filing out of the performance hall and shoving occurred, with Jane returning it all full force. She was trudging forward when she heard a couple of gasps and grumbling. When she reached the first step, she saw why.

There had been several snowmen on display in front of the hall, in an area that was usually a small park on its own during the spring, summer, and fall. It became covered with snow in the winter, obviously, so to make it more lively, snowmen were built.

Delaney was murdering them all. Such a small girl could not be so angry. But the swift kicks to the snowman's crotch begged to differ. And as the first one fell apart in front of her, Delaney let out a maniacal laugh.

She quickly moved on the next one, unaware that people were watching her. She headbutted the next poor victim and when it didn't collapse in fear but drop its carrot nose on her head, Delaney became Mike Tyson, punches swinging from her skinny arms. She was grunting like a mule giving birth, her scarf and hat having fallen off.

The place was quiet as people watched. Jane was dumbfounded. Then she began to laugh. People turned to her, eyes wide in confusion and the light-bulb lit up; Jane was the mother of the snowman jumper.

The rest was a blur as kids began to cry and Jane, trying to stifle increasingly hysterical laughs, dragged Delaney away from the place of her crime and drove her home.

Jane should have told her that she ruined a perfect winter display; the embodiment of Christmas, that she had really frightened some children. But she just couldn't. She watched Delaney out of the corner of her eye, steering carefully on the snow-covered road. Delaney had her arms crossed in front of her, eyes forward and jaw set.

"Those snowmen looked pretty harmless to me. You really scared those kids".

"Good."

"It isn't Dad's fault he couldn't be here."

"Yeah, yeah." Delaney waved a dismissive hand. She looked like a teenager when she did that and Jane smirked. "I get it. He has to go punch monsters and all that. I'm not stupid you know."

"Yeah, I know."

They'd gone to bed well enough, Delaney without dinner so that early the next morning she was hungry. She trudged out of bed, throwing her covers off of her, and made her way downstairs. She walked into the kitchen and almost jumped out of her pajama bottoms when she saw her dad leaning against the counter, taking a bite from a cookie.

"Hey!" Delaney let out, instinctively.

Her father dropped the cookie innocently, and gave Delaney a smile.

Delaney would not break.

"My recital was yesterday."

"I know. How'd it go?"

"Good. I crushed the snowmen outside of the hall into smifereens." Delaney was teasing her father, hoping to launch him into a lecture.

"Into smifereens?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, into little weak pieces."

"Why'd you do that?"

"Because I wanted to. I'm seven you know." Delaney was fond of the "you know", which she felt like adding at the end of every sentence.

"Yeah, I do know." He came up form behind the counter and bent down to give Delaney a hug. She evaded him with a giggle and climbed up on the counter, reaching for her own cookie. "Hey, that's a little rude!"

"Delaney feels like being a mean girl today."

"Other parents would spank their kids just for sitting on the counter."

"Other parents wouldn't be able to catch me. That includes you, buck-o."

"Her vocabulary is over-developed. She needs to stop reading." Delaney's father mumbled under his breath as he stood back up with a grunt and watched as Delaney dangled her lanky legs over the edge of the counter. "Why is it that you feel like being a mean girl?"

He stood next to her, his behind against the counter.

Delaney looked up at him and shrugged."Sometimes I just feel like being mean."

"That's not very nice."

"I know."

"Really, how did the recital go?"

He watched as Delaney mulled it over, pulling at her pajama bottoms. She rolled her neck from side to side, counter-clockwise, as if she were exercising. She was just restless. "Ummmm... I looked for you."

"Yeah..." with a nod he led her on, waiting for her words.

"You never came..." Delaney turned her body halfway to reach for another cookie behind her.

"I get busy, Delaney."

"I know." She hunched her shoulders as she devoured another cookie, making cookie monster noises.

"But I have a surprise for you!" He jumped in front of her and Delaney's eyes began to twinkle.

"A BB gun!"

"No."

"A barbie doll house?"

"No."

"A dog?"

"I'm staying home today. We can spend the whole day together."

"Oh."

"Isn't that exciting?"

"Whoopee." Delaney hopped off the counter and her father watched her with a flabbergasted expression on his face. But when he realized Delaney was holding back smile he chuckled and picked her up. She squealed in delight.

...

Delaney could feel the presence of all the memories she had made with her small family in her old house. She didn't think anyone would be haunting her home as it would be a cruel joke on her, being a hunter and all. A hunter staying behind as a ghost seemed like the funniest thing to her at the strange moment but she didn't laugh or chuckle.

She hurriedly left the kitchen and caught sight of the room that had been her parent's. Her mom's room mostly as her dad hadn't often been home. She took a deep breath, ignoring how dark the hall seemed and strode with confident steps towards the door. She swung it open and froze.

Casyn was on the floor, her elbows supporting her in a half sitting up half lying down position. Her eyes were wide open and she had blood at the side of her mouth. But in front of her, in front of the door and with his back to Delaney, towering over Casyn, was a man. A man in flesh and blood, as real as Delaney or Casyn.

Casyn's eyes flicked towards her, wide and confused. The man turned and Delaney couldn't believe her eyes. Her breath caught and tears began to sting.

"D-dad?"

...

October 24th, 1991

"Come on, Cas! Harder!" Her father's voice boomed against the walls of the empty dark dojo they had broken into late at night. They were in the middle of a large blue mat at the center of the gym-like room, Connor holding up a large punching bag which Casyn, with her skinny arms was trying to ravage.

Casyn was punching as hard as she could with her thin arms and small fists, exerting her whole body into the fall of one punch after another, but the only thing she'd eaten that day was one of those small ramen bowls with milk. It hadn't been her best concoction but it beat the peas with orange juice. She felt light-headed and the more her dad pushed her to punch the stupid punching bag, the more she couldn't feel her arms or fists.

Her breaths were beginning to sound like she had something stuck in her throat and the air was barely squeezing by with a squeal.

"Does he really expect me to punch as hard as he does? With his stupid military training?" She couldn't help but think.

"Harder, Cas!"

"I... can't." She let out as she gave the last punch and shortly collapsed onto the mat, her chest rising quickly with every twitching breath. Connor dropped the punching bag to the side and proceeded to roughly pick Casyn up, as if she were a rag doll, and place her firmly in front of him. He tried to let go of her but every time he so much as tried to let her carry her own weight she began to sink back down onto the mat.

"Casyn, this isn't funny! Stay up. You've only been training for an hour. We have to make full use of the facilities since you've skipped training for three days. Come on, you can take it." He grabbed her small fists in his gigantic hands and squared them in front of her.

Casyn tried to regain her composure but fatigue plagued her features and her build. An hour of training with her father felt like a lifetime.

"Now, aim for my neck!"

Casyn was struggling keeping her eyes focused

"Casyn, I'm talking to you!"

"I can't!" She grumbled, stumbling backwards. Tears began to fill her eyes. "I'm tired, Dad! And hungry! What's the point of training to fight monsters when I can't even get a good dinner in my stomach! It hurts and I'm tired! I'll have no chance against any of those things at this rate, anyway." She fell down on her butt and rubbed her arms angrily.

"Get up, Cas!" He thundered.

She ignored him, roughly taking off her shoes, her arms feeling like noodles.

Casyn didn't often fight with her father. They were as close as could be and she never felt the need to blame him for the situation they were in. Even at the age of eight, she understood that she was trying his best but she was just tired. Too tired to react to the fact that her father was shouting at her, which he rarely did.

"You think this is just about monsters? Vampires, werewolves, djinn?!" He crouched in front of her, demanding her answer. Casyn avoided eye contact. "This is for all those assholes who ever dare to hurt you, human or monster. Who dare to put you down, try and break you down, try to make something of you that you aren't, Cas." His voice began to soften. "I can't always be there. Daddy will not always be around. I'll have to go, just like everybody else." The tone in his voice was laced with knowledge, wisdom, about the way he could leave this world. "You can't hesitate when they come at you. You have to be hard, be strong, be fierce. Alert. Physically and mentally. Emotionally, even. You can't leave them enough time to grab you, to suck you in. In the military, they teach you the morals of combat. In any form of combat, Martial arts, Judo, Kung fu, you're taught when it is right, honorable to attack another. I'm teaching you my way. You swing, first thing. You fight, Cas. Teeth and nails if you have to. Dirty fighting isn't something you should avoid because of shit morale. You do what you have to."

The last six words wrung true for Casyn. She'd truly come to understand those words later in her life. People would criticize her instinct to first attack and then ask questions, to first swing then look at what she hit. Most would call her reckless, but to her, it was being safe.

To her, it was doing what her father had taught her.

Okay, I know I have a lot of apologizing to do. I probably haven't updated in close to a year, and I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't be expecting reviews for this update then. Many of you might have even forgotten that I was even writing this story! lol.

At first, I was truly too busy to write with high school and all. Then, when I finally had time, I had forgotten what I was gonna write so I had to reread my whole story, from the very beginning (It's Never Fate). Then, I was just... stuck. I still feel stuck so I'm worried this chapter sounds choppy, rough, and just plain awkward. I'm trying to find my flow again, my writing style, and eve the story and characters, again. I really want to continue this fanfic but I feel terribly stuck. Away from the computer and the word file, I have so many ideas and dialogues but once I sti down to write, it's like...blank... Or it just sounds too weird and awkward and just... wrong.

Hope it gets better as I progress more into the story.

Thanks to all those who've reviewed and stuck by me and scolded me for not updating. And I truly am Sorry.