Expelled Chapter 21 - Love Trust and Explanations, a mortal instruments fanfic

The whole time they drove to the hospital, Jace was restless. Mentally, he kept telling himself that it wasn't just him, but looking around the car told him different.

Clary was simply leaning her head on his shoulder, playing with his fingers while his other leg bounced and his other hand ran through his hair. Isabelle was on her phone, texting Sebastian no doubt. Jace rolled his eyes at that. Magnus drove the limo, looking calm and happy, but not jumpy and nervous. Of all people, Jace felt that Magnus should be nervous, but he wasn't. Then Maryse and Robert were talking in the very back in hushed tones, probably doing some kind of lawyer business that Jace wouldn't understand. Max was the only one that Jace understood. The kid was about as jumpy, happy, and excited yet panicky as Jace was.

He sighed, leaning his head back against the seat. He had to get his act together. Calm down. Relax. It wasn't for his sake, but for Clary's. She had enough to deal with and he didn't need to add to it by being his impulsive self.

"Why are you so… fidgety?" she asked him, placing her chin on his shoulder. Jace closed his eyes, shrugging his shoulders. "Is it because of my family?"

He shook his head. "It's not them. I'm more worried about you when it comes to that. You're the only Morgenstern I care about."

"At this point, I don't even want to think about that situation either. I mean, I hope everyone is okay, but I don't think I can handle seeing everyone like that. Although I want to give Luke a congratulation hug for breaking my father's nose."

Jace chuckled, draping his arm over Clary's shoulder and pulling her to him. "You're such a mess."

"I can't help it. My father deserves the beating he got. Remind me to see Michael too. I'm sure Luke wouldn't have lasted long if it wasn't for him."

A buzzing in his pocket caused his annoyance to pick up, but he kissed Clary's hair first. "Will do, baby" he whispered before pulling his phone out. "What?"

"Is that how you treat your grandmother?"

Jace sat straight up at the sound of her voice, bumping Clary off his shoulder in the process. "Ow, Jace." She giggled, rubbing the side of her chin with a smile on her face.

His eyes widened. "Oh, sorry. I, uh–"

"It's fine," she smiled, sitting back in her seat. "It didn't hurt. I promise. Just take your call."

He studied her for a moment, taking her in instead of the call. Her hair was up in a bun, the yoga pants hugging the curves of her legs. She ended up dressing in his old t-shirt when they left, much to Isabelle's demise, and he found himself lost in her. It happened all the time, even when she was doing the simplest tasks. She could be drawing, driving, talking, or just sleeping. She was so captivating for some damned reason. What was it about this girl that drove him mad?

"Jace," Isabelle called from across the limo. She was peering up at him with a smirk. "I suggest you take your call before they hang up on you."

He glared at his best friend, the smirk on her face growing, before letting it go and pulling the phone to his ear. "Nana?"

"Hello, darling," she said in a delighted voice. It wasn't her happiness that made Jace smile though. It was the health that she said it with. That sound was rare and always welcomed whenever it came. "How are you, darling?"

"I'm," he paused, looking at Clary. She must have felt his gaze because she looked back up at him, smiling. "I'm fantastic." Clary beamed at that, giving him a wink.

Nana chuckled. "I expect I should thank a little redheaded delight for that?"

"Among other things." Alec for one, he thought, but he didn't want to give her anything to worry about or anything too exciting. She needed to rest. "Anyway, you sound great. What's going on?"

"I just wanted to call to see how you were doing. When I feel good, I kind of have to take advantage of it before things go badly again."

"They're not going to."

She sighed. "Yes, they will, honey. We both know that to be true."

That pain in his chest that he got around his grandmother started to make another appearance. "But–"

"No buts. Just let me be happy and talk to my family, okay?"

He laughed, his hand automatically going to Clary's as she leaned into him again. "Okay, Nana, talk away."

Jace slipped his phone back in his pocket just as Magnus walked around the side of the limo, pulling the door open. "Here we are."

Each of them piled out one by one, Maryse and Robert being last. Clary reached for Jace's hand as soon as they both stood straight. He squeezed her gently, reassuring her hopefully. Out of everything she has to worry about, he really wished that she wouldn't worry about his temper. There were plenty of reasons that she should, but he really wished that she wouldn't.

"Thank you, Magnus," Maryse acknowledged him as she slipped out of the car. "We'll be back in a bit."

There a momentary pause where all of them looked genuinely confused, Magnus especially. His brows pulled together and his mouth opened slightly, but no words came out of it. It was like he was so flustered that he couldn't talk. Jace would've laughed if he wasn't so confused as well.

"Wait a minute," Isabelle finally spoke. "Magnus isn't coming?"

Robert practically laughed, tapping Isabelle on the head. "He's the butler, honey. Why should he? He stays with the car."

She looked up at her dad, to Magnus, to her dad again. "But… Alec would want to see him."

"He'd want to see us more, don't you think?" Maryse pointed out. "Now, come along."

The two parents started to head towards the hospital without another word, pulling Max along between them. The rest of the group stayed behind. Jace had a feeling that all of them felt awful for Magnus, and the way Clary's expression was held, she felt the worst. It was full of sympathy, sadness, and apology. He refused to let it show, although he sure felt it too. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to have Clary in Alec's position and not be able to see her. He'd break the walls down before he was denied.

"I'm sorry, Magnus," Isabelle said as she jumped into his arms. Magnus looked caught off guard, stumbling backwards and shutting the limo door in the process, probably brushing his suit as well. "They just don't understand."

He nodded. His hand came up, patting her back softly like he didn't have the energy to do much else. "Yeah."

"I hate how they treat us like this." Isabelle pulled back, looking over her shoulder angrily at her parents. "They don't even try to see it from our point of view."

"How can they if they don't know?" Jace pointed out a little too harshly.

"It's not that easy to talk to them, much less tell them something like that," Isabelle said.

"I agree," Clary said in order to make her presence known. "I've barely had a single conversation with either them. Both your parents scare the shit out of me."

Jace laughed, despite the awful situation, and it only earned him a elbow in the stomach from the very girl he was crazy about. "Ow, hey, easy on the goods."

"You guys just go ahead and see him," Magnus sighed. "You don't want your parents asking questions. I'll see Alec later."

"Do they even know?" Clary asked.

Jace rolled his eyes. "Clary, we just said that they don't know about Magnus and Alec."

She glared at him, threatening him with her eyes. "Not about that, you idiot. I'm talking about everything that Magnus has done. About how he helped Caterina for days to get Alec stable, about how he's watched over him, taken care of him, checked in on him? Do they know how much Magnus cared?"

Jace looked around, not really sure what she was getting at. Isabelle and Magnus were shaking their heads. "What does that have to do with anything?" he asked.

"They can't know," Isabelle interrupted. "My parents will think too much of it, like they always do with these things. It wouldn't make them think differently about anything, just suspicious of it. If it has to do with me, Alec, or Max they always let it go, but as soon as someone else gets involved, twenty questions come up."

"I got an interrogation when I joined this Motley Crew, now that I think about it," Jace said. "It just showed that they care."

Isabelle nodded. "More of their image than us kids. They don't want us to make them look bad."

Clary fell into Jace's chest suddenly, leaning against him and wrapping her arms around her torso. Although it was unexpected, he welcomed the affection instantly, something he never did with other girls, and pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head. "Don't even get me started on parental images," she mumbled.

"Look, Alec doesn't want them to know, and I'm going to respect his wishes," Magnus said with defeat. "Even though I want to be in there, I can't. I'll see him soon anyway, so you guys go ahead."

None of them moved. Isabelle stepped forward towards Magnus, wrapping her arms around his neck again. "We'll tell him what he needs to know," she whispered, but Jace was able to catch what she said.

Magnus nodded. Isabelle kissed his cheek and the three of them headed towards the hospital entrance, feeling a little drained and disappointed that Magnus wasn't coming. Even Jace of all people felt bad for him, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was because of Clary. She was making him care, and he finally wanted that. He was finally okay with that.

"Is he going to be okay?" Clary asked Isabelle.

The darker haired girl just shrugged. "He cares for Alec a lot. It's got to be killing him that he's cut off; especially after everything he's done."

Jace nodded but no one said another word as they made their way through the clean yet dirty hospital. It wasn't until the moment that they stepped down the hallway that he realized it was finally happening. Alec, Jace's closest friend, was finally awake. After what felt like years but was only a few weeks, Alec would be able to talk. Jace would be able to see the similar blue eyes that Isabelle owned. Jace would hear the disappointed tone and warnings coming from Alec's mouth, and he didn't realize how excited he was as he practically dragged Clary down the hall.

"Someone's excited," she giggled and jogged after him.

He nudged her slightly. "Shut up before I have to punish you."

"I'd love to see that."

"Alright, you two," Isabelle warned, stepping in front of them and leading the way. "Don't talk dirty like that in front of my parents or the awkwardness will never end."

Clary's inner child came out as she stuck her tongue out at Isabelle. "It wasn't dirty."

They stopped outside of Alec's door, the one that had contained him for so long, and a sudden anxiety set over Jace. All these emotions kept making unwelcomed appearances with him and it was getting old. He was actually nervous, and if it wasn't for Clary's hand in his, he might have actually lost it.

"That's not the point Mom! You just don't GET IT!"

The trio froze just as Isabelle reached for the door knob. All the curtains were closed, so they only knew it was Alec because of the sound and hoarseness of the voice. The three of them looked at each other, genuinely confused and frozen.

"Alec, you just woke up last night. You're delusional–"

"I AM NOT!" Jace tensed as a sudden coughing fit came through the wall after Alec's scream. He sounded weak but determined.

"Son, you need your rest," Robert said.

"No, I need you out of here," Alec groaned, sounds of shuffling like he was shifting on the bed sounding. "I want you out of here."

Maryse scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous."

"NOW!"

"Alec–"

"You're never going to get it. You're never going to accept it, so what's the point of talking about it? We're never going to agree on something like this, and all I want is to see my friends, because they're not judgmental about it. Isabelle loves me because of who I am, and so does Jace and Magnus. Hell, Max doesn't look to upset about it."

"I don't really care one way or another," Max said.

Jace chuckled, smiling to himself. Max was always a calm and understanding kid. It was no surprise that no matter what Alec said, Max wouldn't care one way or another. Alec was a hero to the kid, and nothing was going to change that.

"Max, maybe you should leave so we can talk to your brother alone."

"Oh, hell no," Isabelle growled, grabbing the door and swinging it open again. Jace and Clary's eyes widened when she stormed in, her high heels clicking. She was more than pissed, and Jace wasn't about to miss it so he and Clary stepped in as well, closing the door behind them. "Mom, Dad–"

"Isabelle, not now," Maryse demanded, holding her hand up. She and Robert were on either side of Alec's bed, standing over him and looking fairly intimidating while Max sat in the seat by the TV. Well, Maryse was actually more intimidating than Robert. "We have something to discuss with your brother."

"So he's in love with Magnus!" Isabelle practically screamed, announcing it to anyone outside who didn't already know. "What's the big deal?"

The cold in Maryse's eyes was enough to send Clary cowering into Jace's side. And after dealing with people like Valentine and Jonathan, he figured that she wouldn't be scared by some mother with a temper. "Isabelle, this kind of behavior isn't okay. It's not normal."

Isabelle's hands went to her hips. "Not normal? Mom, gays are about as common as interracial dating by now. Can't you just accept it? Alec is who he is, and nothing is going to change that."

Jace glanced at his friend for the first time since coming into the room, and feelings exploded throughout his whole chest.

Alec's left leg was still wrapped up and suspended, the broken femur hopefully healing like it should've. The lower part of his right arm was in a black cast, fitting since it was Alec's favorite color. He was shirtless, the sheets pulled down to his waist and everyone finally got a glimpse of what his torso actually looked like. The bruises were still there but light, and it seemed that his ribs were the only thing that was almost healed by now. All the other scratches, lacerations, and bruises that he had were now healed, scarred, and a part of him forever. Although he'd definitely looked better, he'd also definitely looked worse.

Jace was just happy that his friend was actually back with the living. He couldn't have asked for anything better.

"Everything can be changed," Robert said with a solemn voice.

Jace's anger was finally peaked. He was so focused on how Alec was that he hadn't contributed to the conversation. "How do you expect to do that? Keep him away from Magnus? Fire Magnus? It'll only hurt Alec more than he already is."

"Magnus has already been relieved of his duties actually," Maryse pointed out.

Jace was taken aback as Isabelle's anger soured. "Mom! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Maryse rolled her eyes. "Don't look so shocked, kids. You should've expected that. That influence isn't welcomed. I can't have someone like that around my family."

Jace glanced down at Alec. He was looking up at his mother with a look of pure hatred, anger, and if looks could kill... There were plenty of times that Jace had been pissed, but he never had that kind of look on his face, especially with someone close to him. Sure, he and Alec had fought, he and Isabelle had definitely fought, but Alec looked like he literally wanted to throw Maryse out the window. Honestly, Jace would help him if he actually tried.

Isabelle took a threatening step forward. "Someone like that? Firing Magnus… you might as well disown Alec too, because they are one in the same! My brother might be gay, but that doesn't make him a bad person. Magnus was the best thing that happened to us, and you've just taken him away without a second thought?"

"The best thing that happened to you?" Maryse laughed, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her business suit. "Magnus corrupted my son. It's as simple as that. He was fine, normal, before we hired him."

Alec looked incensed now. "That's not true. Before Magnus, it was Jace." Alec met Jace's eyes as he said it, emotions running through the blue colors. "If you think this is Magnus's fault Mom, you're mistaken."

Jace wasn't really sure what to do as Alec looked at him. Yes, he knew that Alec once had a crush on him, but it never bothered him. Hell, he found it amusing that he was so appealing. It only boosted his confidence in general, and he'd made it apparent to pick fun at Alec for it. But it was always playful, never serious, because Jace knew that Alec would've learned that it wouldn't have worked. And he did. Magnus showed up, and taught Alec what he really needed. It was already there, just had to be surfaced by the right person.

But the way he was looking at Jace, it was different. It wasn't like he was saying that he still loved Jace like that, but that he needed his help. Like he needed someone to help him fight the current losing battle that him and Isabelle were suffering in.

So Jace nodded, stepping forward and leaving Clary by the door. "Alec's right." Maryse and Robert were visibly shocked. Jace couldn't really blame them. "Everyone but you two knew that he once… loved me but we both knew that it would never work. I love girls." He turned and looked back at Clary. "I love Clary, and that's the end of it." Her gasp was enough of a surprise, but he just smiled at her and turned back to the fight. "But Alec and Magnus have been good for one another. Alec needed that guy that you just fired, and you've made a huge mistake in taking him out of Alec's life. You'll ruin your son if you don't reconsider."

"Jace is right," Isabelle added. "You haven't seen the changes in the months that Magnus has been here because you've been gone but I have. Alec's been happier, despite his overall piss ass attitude."

He looked offended. "Hey!"

"It's true, brother. But he's been different, a good different, and I don't want him to go back to how he was."

Robert sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Isabelle, Jace, the thing is we can't have that kind of image. Maryse and I have certain duties, and if people hear that Alec and Magnus are… you know… then it can ruin our careers."

"We've kept it secret long enough," Alec interjected. "You two never had a clue, even when you were home. I don't see why you have to fire him if no one knows."

"It's the principle of the thing," Maryse said.

"You're being so stubborn!"

"Alec, enough," Robert hushed him sternly. He looked around, eyes landing on each of the kids before he sighed again. "We'll talk about this later. Maryse, come on."

She looked hesitant to go, glaring at her husband momentarily before nodded. Jace stepped aside as they passed after showing Alec the necessary affection. He was expecting a glare or some comment from Maryse, but she said nothing as she passed, slipping out the door and shutting it behind her.

Alec let out a gust of air as soon as they were gone. "Holy shit. I'm so glad that's over."

"You can say that again," Jace laughed in order to lighten the room. It did, small giggles coming from Alec, Max, and Isabelle. He glanced back at Clary, who was standing against the wall with her arms crossed. Her head was bowed; looking at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Clary, you okay?"

She glanced up, eyes wide. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine."

He questioned her with his eyes, not wanting to interrogate her in front of everyone else, but she looked away before he could even ask the questions.

"Jace?" Alec called, coughing slightly again. Jace turned just as Isabelle offered him a small cup of water, helping him drink and swallow. "Thank you guys. I don't think I could handle that on my own much longer, much less the tension. I'm pretty sure that alone would've set me back into that stupid coma," he said, looking up at the two of them as Jace stepped up next to him.

He smiled down at his friend. "Anytime. I love standing up to authority."

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Jace, seriously?

"What? Authority is there to be overruled."

"Just stop talking, you moron." She gave Alec another sip of water, glaring at Jace while doing it. "Alec, what made you tell them?"

He fell back against his pillows slowly, looking up at the ceiling. He was pale, paler than normal, and Jace wasn't sure if it was from the coma or the past conversation. "It just kind of slipped out. I asked where Magnus was first, and Mom said he was by the car. One thing lead to another, and I accidentally said that I wanted my boyfriend in here. By the time I realized it, it was already out there in the open."

"They must have freaked out," Isabelle laughed. She reached forward and brushed a piece of stray hair out of Alec's eyes.

"Yeah, they were pretty shocked to say the least. Mom kind of panicked and Dad stood there like a deer in headlights for five minutes."

"I wish I would've seen it," Jace smiled. "I would've paid money to see your parents like that. Normally, nothing can shock them. But you dropped the bomb of the year."

Alec shrugged, wincing in the process. Isabelle immediately went to his side, but he brushed her off. "Izzy, I'm fine. It's just a little painful."

Jace didn't believe that. "On a scale of one to ten?"

Alec looked up. "About a seven. It's really not that bad."

Although Jace didn't really believe him, he nodded and let it go. Fighting with Alec about how much pain he was in was stupid when the last conversation probably drained him of all his energy. His eyes kept closing momentarily and his breaths were getting more strained and visibly difficult.

Jace reached down, touching Alec's bare shoulder and looking down at his friend. "It's good to have you back, Alec. It really is."

Alec smiled. "Good to be back. Mom explained the whole situation to me before the verbal explosion. How has the team done?"

"Football really doesn't matter right now," Jace insisted. "I really couldn't have cared less about it for the past few weeks. Michael's only goal at this point is beating Morgenstern when we play them. He doesn't care about the championship or anything."

"That's unlike him."

"Things change," Jace said with more meaning than he meant to. Those two words described his whole world, his whole existence at this point. Everything that used to be important wasn't anymore, and everything he thought he wanted, he couldn't care less about. Everything really had changed, and it was actually... fantastic.

He glanced back, Clary popping into his head about one of the changes. Alec wasn't really informed about how their relationship progressed, and he smiled when he saw her. She was seated next to Max, leaning over him to look through a comic book he brought. He was pointing out pictures, looking up at her with a huge smile on his face and she'd just laugh and smile back at him.

Jace knew that he was staring, that he probably spent a little too much time just watching her and studying her, but he really couldn't help it. Every little thing she did would captivate him, take up his attention, and he just liked to witness it. He didn't care if she knew or not. All he wanted was to be accepted by her, because she's the reason that everything is different with him. As long as she said he was allowed in her life, he'd be there one hundred percent because that's all he wanted.

"Hey, Clary," Alec called suddenly. She looked up, meeting Jace's gaze first and quickly glanced away. He furrowed his brows, confusion setting in as to why she was so quick to avoid him.

"Yeah?" she asked.

Alec smiled warmly at her, something that hadn't happened before. "I know that we never really got along or talked, but I really am glad you're here. Despite… everything that's probably happened, I'm glad that Jace found someone like you."

She looked like she wanted to say something, but she just kind of stared at Alec for a few seconds before breaking out of whatever spell took her over. "Uh, thank you, Alec. That means a lot."

"I meant every word."

She nodded, smiling at him once more before going back to Max.

Jace frowned and leaned over the bed to Isabelle. "Clary will barely look at me. Did I do something?" he whispered, glancing over at his girlfriend.

Isabelle raised one eyebrow. "Are you serious? Of course, you did."

"I'd agree with that," Alec interjected.

Jace furrowed his brows, glancing back and forth between his friends and Clary. "What? What did I do?"

Isabelle shrugged, looking at Alec who had a knowing look on his face. So both of them knew? What the hell? Isabelle just chuckled to herself, looking up at Jace against with an amused smirk. "You'll figure it out eventually, smartass. Or more likely, she'll just tell you."

Clary looked up from the comic book Max kept pointing at to glance over at Jace, Isabelle, and Alec. They were all close, whispering as they talked and looked to be in some serious conversation. Probably discussing what it was that actually caused Alec to wreck. Even though Clary knew it was Jonathan and told Jace, he had yet to speak a word about it.

Shocking? Yes. Jace wasn't the type to just let things go. She'd learned that easily enough that he was impulsive, so when she told him that Jonathan was responsible for Alec's condition, she expected him to hop in the car with a knife in hand. Instead, he surprised her yet again. Once the words were out, the anger never showed. Jace's eyes just softened, and he had pulled her into his arms on the bed. Not a word came out of his mouth, and maybe that was a good thing or a bad thing, but Clary wanted to think it was good. Maybe he was getting progress with controlling his anger.

Her eyes settled on him as he talked, and she could actually see some of it. The anger was still there, the worry and the concern for his friend… or maybe it was something else, but it wasn't as intense. He was calmer, more relaxed. Maybe Isabelle was right. Maybe she and Jace were actually decent for each other. She smiled at the thought and looked at the floor so no one could see it. They aren't two trains headed for a head on collision, but two conductors steering a single train where it needs to go. Even though that was the lamest thing she could come up with, she found comfort in the fact that he actually needed and responded to her like she did to him. And it was only proven when he…

"Clary?" She glanced up to find Jace moving towards her. "Can I talk to you outside for a second?"

Max's head shot up, a frown on his face. "But I was about to show her the part where Thor does his hammer-lightning thingy." He grabbed the book and turned it to Jace. "See?"

Jace looked at the book and nodded briefly. "Max, as amazing as that sounds, this is important. I really need to talk to my girlfriend."

Max pouted but nodded. "Fine."

Clary's hand was sudden engulfed in Jace's as he pulled her to stand. "Come on." She followed without protest as he pulled her towards the door and threw it open, closing it behind them. Jace leaned his shoulder against the wall just outside Alec's room, his hand still in Clary's, and looked right at her. "Alright, what is going on?"

She sighed, trying to pull her hand away on instinct only to have Jace tighten his grip and pull her closer to him. "I don't really know. Too much honestly."

"Meaning?"

"It's just… everything is happening so fast. My brother is going back and forth with me, playing mind games with me, while beating the crap out of Luke at the same time. Then, my father is after my mother, taking out your… whatever Michael is to you. He's hurting people to get what he wants. And my mother is still in her little coma so she doesn't even know that everyone is basically here for her. So while all that bad stuff is happening, Alec wakes up to add to the mix and gets into a fight with his parents instantly. That's the last thing anyone wanted, especially with Magnus getting fired because of it. It's all just too much right now and I'm starting to freak out." As if a sudden exhaustion set in on her, she leaned against the wall by Jace for support. "And then, there's you…"

He dipped his head down in front of her instantly, tucking his fingers under her chin to force their eyes to meet. "What did I do?"

She sighed, touching her head to the cold hospital walls. "It's not bad."

"Then why are you making me nervous about this? If it isn't bad, you should be able to just tell me."

"It's not that easy to point out."

"I don't… I don't understand." Jace dropped his hand, running it through his hair but his other still gripped her tightly. It was like he thought that she'd leave if he didn't hold onto her, and the thought actually made her surer of her feelings. If he said it and means it, then she could too, right?

But she had to make sure. "Did you mean it?" Her voice was so soft and low, she barely heard it.

"Mean what?"

She closed her eyes momentarily, pulling herself together and gathering the courage to say it. After a few seconds of leaving him in the dark, she opened her eyes and looked at Jace, at the golden boy that really did steal her heart. "You don't remember saying it, do you?"

He looked like he was seriously freaking out now. "Saying what?"

"That you love me." The words were finally out, out in the open and she couldn't do a thing to take them back. But as she watched Jace's reaction under a microscope, she realized she didn't want to take them back. If this was the next step, she wanted to do it now.

He looked confused. His golden eyes were set on hers, shining as they searched hers for whatever truth to her words he couldn't find. He even dropped her hand, his own slapping his leg. Everything about him was off in that moment that Clary studied him, watched his movements. And then, just like that, realization set in and he slowly started to recover.

"I – I, uh," he stuttered, obviously not fully recovered from the shock. Clary wasn't sure whether to feel upset or laugh at his articulation skills at the moment. "Ye – yeah. Yeah I did. I meant it."

Even though she wanted to feel relieved, she didn't. "You did?"

"Of course I did. I don't say things I don't mean, Clary. I never have, especially not with you." His hands came up to her cheeks, pulling her face to his for a soft, brief kiss.

Her hands came up and gripped his wrists, holding him there as well as their faces lingered dangerously close afterwards. "You just said it so adamantly to everyone when they were fighting, and I wasn't really sure what to do."

"Why not?"

She sighed, focusing on his warmth for a second. She knew exactly why she was so… bothered by it, but she wasn't sure how to tell him. "Jace, it's just… scary. Yeah. It's scary."

"Clary Morgenstern getting scared isn't something I imagine to be true," he teased.

She wanted to smile back but couldn't bring herself to do it. Even if he didn't believe her, it was completely true. The fact that he'd said those words and meant them worried her. Love was never something that ended well, at all. Sure, she cared for Jace and wanted him to be happy, but saying she loved him meant totally different things.

"Okay, what's going on?" he asked, dropping his hands to her shoulders, down her arms. It was like he was trying to sooth her as his hands moved across her skin, giving her unwanted goose bumps. "Why does this have you so freaked out?"

"Because everyone who's ever loved me as either left me or hurt me."

She said the words before she could even think. Her eyes widened at her own realization, because it wasn't like she really wanted to tell Jace that! Seriously? What was wrong with her? She basically told him that anyone who loves her is lying to her. That's… God, she really was an idiot. Jace could take that the completely wrong way, think that she wasn't worth it because of the damage and leave her to–

His lips were suddenly on Clary's much harder than before. She was shocked, opening her mouth in a gasp of surprise that Jace quickly took advantage of. His hands were gripping hers, holding her to him as his mouth assaulted hers relentlessly. All thoughts left her mine. The feelings of a possible betrayal, past experiences, family issues, it all faded as Jace made her forget everything that she hated and instead, feel everything that she wanted. He had the ability to make it all go away, to make it all see so small that it didn't even matter when he was kissing her like that.

Then it was over. His forehead rested against hers, both breathing hard. "Did that remind you of your family?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No."

"Then why should my love for you relate to their so called love in any way? I'm not them." He pulled back enough to look into her eyes. "I meant what I said earlier that I love you, and I'm going to do everything I can to prove it to you. I'm not like your abusive father, jackass brother, or your mother that abandoned you." He kissed her once more. "I'm here to stay, whether you like it or not."

She just nodded, not really sure what to say. If anything, she wanted to tell him that she completely believed him. The words just wouldn't come out. Her heart trusted him, but her mind had always told her to be careful about whom she trusted. It made things difficult, made her vulnerable. Sebastian was the one exception she always made, but she'd have to do the same for Jace in order to be who she wanted to be with him. She'd have to accept him how he wanted her to, but could she bring herself to do that?

Jace sighed, causing her to look up into his eyes. "You're questioning it, aren't you?"

Slowly, she dropped her head and nodded.

"What do I have to do? I know that it's soon, too soon in all honesty, but it's how I feel, Clary. I want you to believe me when I say it."

"I do believe you. I really do, but there's a small part of me that's just not over what's happened to me in the past."

Jace nodded, dropping his head slightly too before quickly lifting it again. "Come on. I know what to do." He grabbed her hand and yanked her down the hall towards the entrance. "It's about time I tell someone anyway."

"What are you talking about?" She struggled to keep up with him in his rushful state but managed to at least not trip and fall on her face.

"I'm talking about you trusting me. I trust you because you've opened up to me, showed me. And when you trust someone, you can really and truly love someone. That's something that my mom always taught me. You can always love someone you don't trust because it's different, but you can't trust someone you don't love."

She pulled her brows together. "So, what does that mean exactly?"

They burst out into the morning light, the sun beating down on them as Jace and Clary made their way over the sidewalk. "It means that you can't trust me because I haven't given you a chance to. I haven't told you everything, and it's about time I do. This time, I'm not screwing it up and breaking down."

"This time?"

Jace nodded as Magnus and the limo came into view when they rounded a section of vehicles. "Yeah, baby, this time. I'm not going to chicken out." Before she could ask what he meant, Magnus looked up at them, questions in his eyes. Jace held his hand up to cut him off. "I need you to take us somewhere."

Magnus glanced between the two of them. "As much as I'd absolutely love to abandon Alec and his family at a hospital with no vehicle whatsoever, I can't. I don't fancy getting fired by his mother just yet."

"You're already fired anyway," Jace blurted out. Magnus's eyes widened. "Yeah, Alec kind of told them about the two of you. They weren't exactly happy about it."

There was a moment of silence where Magnus stared at the two of them. He seemed to be trying to take in the new information and Clary couldn't blame him. It was confusing to say the least. Then, he reached in his pocket and tossed Jace a set of keys. "Here."

Jace caught them expertly, not too surprised and stepped aside when Magnus started walking towards the hospital. "Hey! You're supposed to drive us," Jace called after him.

Magnus turned. "You really think I'm going to leave knowing that I can see Alec? If I'm already fired, his parents can't do shit. Besides, I know what you and Clary are up to, and I'm not going to sit by and be a third wheel while the two of you get it on in the backseat."

With that said, he winked at Clary causing her cheeks to go red and turned towards the hospital again. He looked determined, head up and proud as he walked. She secretly hoped that he and Alec worked out. They really were precious together, and stronger together. Anyone could see that. Well, besides Maryse and Robert of course.

"Come on," Jace instructed, pulling Clary towards the passenger seat. He opened the door for her, helping her in.

She stopped him from closing the door. "Jace, is this a good idea?"

He paused, leaning down. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're leaving Alec and his family to go on some… trust mission alone. Are you sure you want to do this now?"

Jace thought for a moment. "I sure as hell don't want to do it when your brother and father are out and about, and considering they're hospitalized with no escape right now, I think it's the perfect opportunity for us to be out in public and have no worries. Besides, this needs to happen."

"Why?" she wondered.

He smiled genuinely, causing Clary to blush and smile right back at him. "I want you to understand why I feel this way about you, Clary. I want you to accept it, because it isn't going to change. It's about time I told you my whole story, don't you think?"

"This is it," Jace announced as he opened Clary's door. She placed her hand in his, letting him tug her out and to his side.

Her eyes drifted from him to the unfamiliar location. He had driven to the place they came after she met his grandmother the first time. It was his old home. His home that burnt to the ground, leaving nothing but black ash and despair in its wake. The place she watched him struggle in the truck with so much turmoil and regret that he almost broke down completely in front of her. He didn't of course. He was too strong and stubborn for something that drastic but there they were again, and Clary wondered if he'd be able to handle it this time.

She snuck a glance up at him. His eyes were focused as he held her tightly, but they weren't on her. They were on the little bit of ashes that hadn't been blown away, shining with unshed tears as he took in the area before him. She forced herself to take deep breaths, to keep from losing it so she could help him get through this.

"It was right here," he said in a low, sad, heartbroken voice. "The last fight we all had. The last time I ever spoke to my parents, we just ended up yelling at each toehr. The last memory of my mother is the disappointment and pain across her face as she turned and headed up the stairs." He swallowed, taking deep breaths. "Even after everything I put them through, they always did everything they could for me until the end. The bad parts of me were of my own doing, but every part of me that's decent is from them. They never lost faith in the man I could be."

Even though she never knew his parents, never knew what they were like, she wished that she had. His parents seemed a thousand times better than hers, and she envied him for that. The love and pain in his eyes wouldn't be reflected in hers if this had happened to her father. Her mother, maybe, but her father was a monster as far as she was concerned. The small parts of him that were respectable and likeable had faded over the years and barely showed themselves anymore. If she ever mourned for him, it would be the man he used to be, not the man he is.

Jace's hand slid down to hers, engulfing it. "Let's go."

She stayed silent as he pulled her along, pointing out meaningful parts of the place that touched his childhood. She'd smile at the memories, laughing when he did and wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks as they came. His eyes would light up as he talked, smiling and even laughing, but then something would instantly change. It was like he'd realize they were nothing but memories and the sadness would set back in. His eyes would darken and his head would drop each time.

She hated the pain in his eyes, but she was also glad that he finally showing her something like this. It really did prove to her that he trusted her, loved her, and maybe she was just paranoid earlier. She shouldn't compare someone as passionate as Jace to her parents. Unlike her parents, she had openly admitted to him the night before that she trusted him. Even if he didn't see it that way, trust was the easier part. Love was never something that came easy to her, but she'd try. She had to. If he was trying like this, the best she could do was take it and attempt to give it back, right?

"This is where the piano was in the living room," he said, letting go of her hand for a split second to do a slow three-sixty, staring at the ground. "I used to play for my mother and father on their birthdays, always playing a new song that meant more to them then the last."

She smiled, wrapping her arms around herself as she watched him take it in. He slowly dropped to his sit back on his heels, looking at the ashes and reached down. When his hand pulled back, a darkened piano key was in his hand, the white barely visible. He twirled it, staring at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

He sighed, closing his eyes and clenching his fist around the white key. "We weren't a perfect family. My father and I fought over the trivial things. My mother used to argue with me about girls, about being careful and responsible. She'd snap at me if I forgot to say thank you, forgot to clean my room, forgot to take out the trash. We were just like every other family, nothing special, but it was special at the same time."

A breeze brushed through the yard, blowing strands of Clary's hair over her eyes but she was too frozen to move the strands. Her focus on Jace was so intense that nothing else could even be registered.

"They were everything to me. I knew they weren't… perfect, of course. Every kid finds out that their parents have their own issues, but I just wished that I handled it better."

He dropped the key to the floor, a cloud of ash rising from the ground as it hit the ground. Jace rose to his feet, rubbing his hands over his face.

Clary stepped forward tentatively, touching his arm lightly. "What happened?"

He dropped his hands, shoving them in his pockets. "My father might have been a responsible father, but turns out that he was a terrible husband. He'd been having an affair, apparently, with a woman named Amatis." Clary took a sharp breath of surprise. "Last year, he came home late one night, looking guilty with lip stick on his cheek. My mom immediately said something, demanding to know what happened. He was completely honest, naturally. Brutally honest about the situation and told her that he just didn't love her like he loved Amatis. That's probably where my honesty came from. The thing is, I snapped at him as soon as I found out. I was already having a bad day because of Jonathan and Sebastian, and my dad just made it that much worse."

Clary's brows pulled together in a frown. "What happened with my brother and Seb?"

"It was a Friday when this all happened, the Friday we played your brother's team. They beat us last year by one point, and I was pissed off out of my mind. Sebastian played dirty the whole time, shoving me when the refs were looking and mocking me the whole time. I had pretty much taken care of him on my own, but I couldn't carry the whole team. After a while, we were both pretty sick of each other and a dirty tackle later, I had some messed up ribs and was pretty much taken out of game due to injury."

Clary's eyes widened, her hand dropping from his arm. "Sebastian did that?"

Jace nodded. "We've all had issues, Clary, and I kind of provoked him anyway. His cousin, Aline, goes to East. You know her." Clary nodded. She didn't know they were related, but the looks were there now that she thought about it. "Anyway, I might have said a few things that I was going to do to her if he didn't cut his shit out. Obviously, that didn't sit too well with him."

Clary wrapped her hand around Jace's forearm completely, keeping him close for her own comfort. "How did I not know about this?"

"You don't care much about football now. You probably didn't care about football back then either, right?" He looked down at her. She just shrugged her confirmation. "Exactly. Besides, Jonathan didn't talk much about me and whenever you and Sebastian are together, he normally deals with your issues instead of his, right?" She nodded again. "That's how you didn't know."

"I don't understand what this has to do with your parents."

Jace closed his eyes for a moment, tilting his head back. "Well, that night was also the night of that bad storm. There were floods, thundering, lightning, and the power had gone out. We got all the candles lit for light and at about one in the morning, my father stumbles in. Needless to say, I didn't want to hear about my father's idiot decisions when my body is in pain and I lost the game for my team. That's the first time I realized I had serious anger issues, because that's the first time I ever hit my father."

Clary sucked in a shocked breath. "You punched your father?"

Jace nodded in shame, turning his face away from her. "Right in the nose. It was kind of for me and mother, even though she never would've admitted that she wanted that. She was too kind hearted. Anyway, I broke it and it knocked him out instantly, sending him to the floor. My mother kind of just stared for a while, disbelief, disappointment, shock, sadness, all of it was written across her face. Whether it was directed at me or my father... I'll never know."

Clary wasn't really sure what to say. It was obvious that he was hurting, and she wanted to do something to help, but there was nothing she could do. No words would help something like this, no actions. All she could do was stand there and hope her presence helped him deal with the demons inside of him.

His free hand reached up and tugged at his hair in anger. "God, I was such an idiot that night. I was an enraged teenager, furious at everything that was happening. And my family suffered for it." He sighed, pulling away from Clary and walking towards a still standing doorframe. It was burnt and charred but upright. His hand reached out, touching it lightly. "I couldn't get my head on straight that night. All I knew was that I wanted to hit something and hit it hard. I wanted whatever, whoever to suffer as much as I was since my world was completely flipped upside down in the matter of hours. I punched a few holes in the walls, but it didn't help. Knocked over lamps, broke the TV." He dropped his hand, putting his head against the frame and closing his eyes. "I didn't realize in my rage how bad I wanted to just beat the shit out of Verlac and Morgenstern that night. I had them in my sights and hated them, hated my father, blamed the three of them for how bad my night was. So, I went out looking for the two who hadn't got what was coming to them. But I didn't realize that in my rage, I accidentally knocked over a few candles… setting the house on fire as I drove off."

Clary couldn't stand it anymore and looked away from him. Her brain was going at a mile a minute trying to make sense of the information. He… he burned his own house down out of rage with his parents inside in order to go after her best friend. The idea didn't shock her really because she'd seen Jace at his worst. He attacked Magnus at the hospital. Isabelle told her plenty of his bad side. So the thought of him punching walls and throwing lamps wasn't unimaginable, but the thought of him accidentally killing his parents…

She wrapped her arms around her torso and turned around, looking around the empty, dead space around her. The bottom of her shoes was now splattered with bits of ash. A few structural pieces still stood but nothing was very recognizable, and it was all because of Jace. His anger caused this to happen. Could she really get past that? A better question: Did she really want to lose him because of something like that? Luke told her that questioning someone because of their past will cause you to lose that person. She didn't want to lose Jace. Not now. Not ever.

"Needless to say, I didn't find Verlac and your brother that night," Jace said loud enough for her to hear. She didn't turn towards him. Her eyes stayed focused on anything but him, but she could hear his footsteps as he moved about, thinking out loud. "I drove for an hour, contemplating going to their houses and beating the door down, but I didn't. I'm glad I didn't actually. Verlac was just protecting his family and Jonathan didn't exactly have anything to do with that night. Plus, that wouldn't have been a good way to meet you either. I got a call from the police before I could even make up my mind. That's when I learned my parents were dead. Gone. All because of me and my stupidity as a teenager."

She noticed something in the ground as she was looking around, something shining. Maybe it was to get her mind off of the monsters inside Jace or her own curiosity, but she wanted to know what it was. She reached down, plucking the object out of the dirt and ash, finding herself holding a small silver box.

"That's the other reason I wanted to bring you here," Jace said from behind her. She didn't realize he was so close again.

"What is it?" She examined the box closely, finding the engravings J.C. on the top. Brushing bits of dirt off, she could make out the carvings of what looked like cupids on the side. Each was different and greatly detailed, tracing the sides of the box all the way around. On the front seemed to be a number lock, needing some kind of code to be opened.

Jace stepped behind her, reaching around both her sides and cupped the box. She was trapped in his embrace, but despite everything he just told her, she didn't want to pull away.

"It's a box that my mother made for me," he explained. "She always said I was an angel, for whatever reason. When I was five, she had my initials carved in this thing," he pointed to the top where the letters resided, "threw some sentimental items in here, and locked it. She said I wasn't allowed to look until I thought it was the right time, and that the code would come to me if I thought hard enough."

"So what was it in?" Clary asked.

She felt Jace smile behind her. "I never looked, but I have an idea on one certain thing."

He slowly gripped the box in his hands, turning it to the lock on the side. His fingers moved expertly as a code was pressed in the buttons, and when he was finished, it popped open.

She reached forward to open it, but he stopped her. "Clary, I want to explain something first."

"Okay?"

He pulled back, pulling the box with him and turning her to face him. "I know that we haven't been together for a long time, that our relationship flies at lightning speed, but I wanted to do right by you. I want you to feel special when you're with me."

"I do," she answered, reached forward and touching his clothed chest with her hands. "You do make me feel special."

One corner of his mouth tilted up in a lopsided smile. "You remember how your birthday was a few weeks back?"

The question caught her off guard, but she nodded anyway.

He looked down to the box in his hands then back to her. "Well, I wanted to get you something special for it, but I didn't know what. Then when I knew what, I wasn't sure how to get it. But the more I've thought about it, I started to figure it out. In this box is an item that my mother told me about. Something that she said was special to her. She said it was a gift from her mother, who had gotten it from her mother, and so on back to hundreds of years."

The intensity of Jace's gaze on hers was strong. Her hands tightened in his shirt to keep her steady when she felt her body shaking. "So what does it have to do with me? My birthday isn't that big of a deal, Jace."

He smiled even wider now. Despite the pain he once showed earlier at the thought of coming and seeing this place, now he was all joy and happiness. "But it is. Everything about you is a big deal to me. My mother once told me to give this item to the girl that would've been her a daughter to her, someone she could've passed it down too. Maybe my mom had a sixth sense in knowing she was never going to meet you, but she gave me the opportunity to keep the family legacy going."

He slowly lowered his gaze, lifting the lid of the box towards Clary. She couldn't see inside and didn't bother to look anyway. Her gaze was focused on his face, the seriousness and intensity of it when his smile had faded. Something about this told her it was more than what he really was showing her, but that was a good thing.

"Happy late sixteenth Birthday, Clary Morgenstern," Jace said softly, pulling her right hand away from his chest and dropping what felt like a necklace into it. "I love you."

Her breath caught as he said the words. Everything about his expression showed her it was true though. Everything he'd done for her proved to her that he loved her, even if she struggled to get the words out on her own. She wanted to say them. She wanted to so bad! But her throat tightened at the thought.

As if he knew she was struggling with it, he tilted her chin up and kissed her lightly on the lips. When he pulled back, his eyes were glazed over, a small tear falling down his cheek. Whether it was a tear of joy or because of the memory of his mother, she didn't know. She just reached up, letting go of his shirt to wipe it away and finally, she looked down at the necklace now placed in her palm.

Her voice caught and a breathy gasp escaped her lips at the sight of it. It looked to be pure silver, the chain thin and shining as it curled with the lines of her hand. The pendant was a cursive looking C, the letter facing up with individual designs carved into it. All in all, it was breathtaking.

"Her name was Celine," Jace explained. "And my grandmother's was Carolyn, and her mother was Cynthia. So on and so forth." Jace reached down, pulling it from Clary and moving to place it around her neck. "Now, it stands for Clary."

She touched it when he pulled back, the letter dangling from her neck. It really was beautiful, and it meant so much more than just a present from the store. It took a massive amount of strength for him to come here, to show her this place, to tell her this story, to give her this gift, and she couldn't even express her gratitude even if she wanted to.

"Jace, I don't even know what to say," she whispered, looking up at him.

He actually looked… happy for once. "You don't have to say or do anything." He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest. His scent overtook her senses, and she welcomed it. "You need to understand that no matter who I was, no matter how much of a monster I used to be and probably still am, I don't want to be that person with you. You make me stronger, Clary. You make me care. I can be here because you're here with me. I can control myself better because of you." He pulled back, raising his hands to her cheeks, brushing his thumb across stray tears escaping. "You make me want to be the guy you deserve, and someday I will get there."

"But Jace–"

He shook his head. "Just let me try, okay? I know you think I deserve you, but I have to make myself believe it. Just…" he sighed, touching his forehead to hers. "Just promise me you'll wear the necklace. Promise me that someday, you'll give me the chance to do right by you, because all I want is to show you how much I care. How much I love you. Please?"

She took a deep breath, wrapping her arms around his waist. "You know, Isabelle once told me that you'd give me some piece of jewelry to show others that I'm taken."

He smiled, kissing the tip of her nose. "It's not a piece of jewelry to show you're taken. It's a piece of my heart to show I'm yours."

YEAH! :) Probably my favorite chapter that I've ever written for anything, just because Jace finally opens up. It took forever to write because I wanted to get it right, so sorry for the wait! Let me know what you think.