I stay unconscious for who knows how long. It felt like forever. I was alive, but as good as dead. I wasn't allowed to die. That's what it felt like. As many times as I have almost died, it's never happened. Why not? I wake up in a Capitol hospital room. It scares me at first until I see my mom walk in. She sighs in relief and walks back out. So I take it, I was safe. I wasn't here to be torchered all over again.
If it wasn't for the burns on my leg I would have to question everything. I take a deep breath as I think through everything that's happened. I blew up the arena. I was taken to the Capitol. Beaten. Abused. Hijacked. I was broken out. I tried to kill Peeta. Not all my memories are reliable. I trained. I went to help with the rebellion. I may have fallen in love with Peeta all over again, but that could be questionable still with my clouded mind. I went to the square. I watched my sister die, and I almost died.
The images of Prim in the explosion cause me to shake and start crying. It was never going to end was it? I slide my hands over my forehead trying to get a grip on myself. I take a deep breathe. I couldn't slip away I couldn't give up. I've been through so much already and I've fought too hard for it to be worth nothing. The doctors fix the burns on my leg, but they couldn't completely get rid of my scars.
Days go by Peeta was promised that he got to kill Snow, Coin runs Panem which I wasn't entirely sure that was a good idea. Peeta's also had more time to give in to the reality that his family is all dead. Snow bombed twelve, and they're dead. Now that he hasn't had the rebellion to distract him it's affecting him greatly. I haven't seen him personally but my mom keeps me updated. She wasn't doing very good herself either.
The loss of my sister has gotten to her, but this time she works instead of shuts down. I guess it was better that way. Annie was coming to terms with Finnick's death, and dealing with her pregnancy. Johanna had no one to go back to, she was alone. Gale went to District two. As for Pollux and Cressida no one told me what happened to them. The doctors work with me now with Capitol technology. They have me make a list to repeat to myself, that's about the real me whenever I feel like I'm about to lose it.
This comes easy, I use Peeta's list to help me. My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am seventeen years old. I was in the Hunger Games. My favorite color is Forest Green. I hunt. I'm great with a bow and arrow. I sparked the rebellion. President Snow killed my sister, Peeta will kill him. I may love Peeta. The list keeps me sane. This continues for days. I take my medicine, I eat. The doctors help me figure out what's real and not real.
I've begun to pull myself back together, all the little pieces I have become slowly being put back together. I wasn't complete though. I didn't know if I ever would be again. Not with part of me missing, and my sister dead. One morning my old prep team comes in along with Effie. I look between them confused.
"Today is President Snow's assassination. Everyone involved in the rebellion has to be there. It's going to be a big, big, big day," says Effie as she leaves the room. My prep team fixes me up quickly before they go to prep Peeta. It occurs to me that I'll actually get to see Peeta for the first time since we were in Tigris's house. That makes me smile just a little bit.
Effie comes back to get me once my prep team is done. She takes me down to a production meeting where Plutarch, Johanna, Annie, Haymitch, Beetee, and Enobaria sit. I sit down next to Haymitch and Annie. We all wait and I talk quietly to Annie about her baby until Effie brings in Peeta.
"What's all this?" Peeta says sounding almost tired, I didn't blame him for being tired.
"We're not sure. Looks like a gathering of the remaining victors." Haymitch answers him. He sits down on the other side of the table. Just out of reach. As Coin talks about the rebellion and today I look at Peeta. I see the fire had gotten him too. I could see where the fire had hit his forehead just missing his eyes. His unforgettable blue eyes. I'm snapped out of my thoughts as someone speaks.
"So, what has been proposed is that we hold a final Hunger Games using children from the Capitol." We all look at Coin, our eyes wide.
"You have got to be joking." Peeta replies. Coin shakes her head. It was a little extreme, but it'd be payback wouldn't it? We watch their children fight to the death just as they had done with us? But yet two wrongs do not make a right.
"You may cast your votes," Coin says, Peeta doesn't hesitate before answering.
"No! Of course not! We can't have another Hunger Games!" He half shouts. The idea really seemed to make him mad.
"Why not? Seems fair to me. I vote yes, plus Snow has a granddaughter." Johanna argues. Enobaria agrees with Johanna.
"Let them have a taste of their own medicine," she says sullenly. Peeta didn't like all the yes's.
"This is why we had a rebellion in the first place," he says frustrated.
"Annie?" He turns to her I'm sure hoping for a no.
"No. Finnick would vote no if he was here too." Beetee also says no. That was three no's and two yes's.
"Katniss? Haymitch?" Coin turns to us. We were the last to vote. I think of all the people I loved who have died, and all the people who just wanted to live who died fighting to stay alive.
"I vote yes. For Prim." I say quietly. Peeta was mad now and he was trying to convince Haymitch why it was wrong.
"I'm with Katniss." Haymitch finally answers.
"Excellent." Coin says and tells us to take our places for the execution. I stand off to the side with Johanna, Annie, Haymitch, Effie, Enobaria, Beetee, and Plutarch as Peeta walks onto the stage. Someone must've trained him how to use a bow and arrow, not that he had to shoot far. Snow was only ten feet in front of him. I watch as he pulls back the string, the arrow aimed directly at Snow. Until I see the arrow shift upwards, and he releases it.
I watch in complete shock as Coin falls off the balcony. Dead. I see Peeta put down the bow and reach for a pocket. He was going for the nightlock pill. I dive onto the stage clamping my hand down over the nightlock and his teeth bite into my hand instead. I ignore the pain the bite had cause.
"Let go, Katniss," he says. He looks me in the eyes almost pleadingly.
"I can't," I say and he's pulled away from me, but the pocket tears and the pill falls to the ground. I watch as it falls relieved. Good. now he couldn't harm himself. He's carried away thrashing and I watch wishing I could help. Effie grabs my arm and takes me back to my hospital room. I don't get updates on Peeta anymore. I begged but no one would say anything except he's still alive. What did that mean?
The doctors help me with my hijacking again. Bringing me back all the more. The doctors weren't going to help me though. They brought back memories sure, but only was it Peeta who could bring out my real emotions, because he knew me better then I knew myself, but I wasn't allowed to even know what was going on with him. They were still afraid the wrong information would send me into hijacking land and sometimes it did.
At night I sit and wonder as I hold the pearl close to me. As they try to bring back my memories sometimes I lose it and I go mutt. I can't help it. This is what President Snow has made me. I was powerless. It was just part of me now. I still wasn't going to give up. One day my mom comes in and wakes me up. I look at her questioningly.
"Peeta and Haymitch are going back to twelve." I look at her confusion washing over me. Why weren't we? Was I still that unstable?
"Katniss, once the doctors have done everything they want to do. You can go back too." This makes me feel a lot better, besides for the fact she said /I/ could go back. What about her?
"What about you" I ask quietly.
"I'm going to go to four once you're done." I didn't understand. She was the last family I had left. In a way I guess Haymitch was my family too, and I loved Peeta but she was my only blood family I had left and she was leaving me. After about a month I'm allowed to go back to District 12. When I get there I realize how much they have worked at fixing it up. At first I walk to my old house, there wasn't much left of it. Before I break I walk straight to the Victor's village. I find myself not at my door step but at Peeta's.
I knock lightly on the door biting my lip. He opens the door first his eyes widening in surprise at seeing me. He rubs his eyes probably wondering if he was really seeing me. His blonde hair was slightly messy and he had flour of his cheek. A smile breaks out across his face and his blue eyes light up.
"You're back." I nod with a slight smile.
"Hey, Peeta."