So school has started again, which means that it will take longer for me to update - as you might have noticed. Promise I won't let it go too far between updates though

-Storie

The strong arms that had me captured in their embrace brought me deeper and deeper into the forest. I tried to crawl out of this unknown persons grasp, but it was simply impossible. After a while I just stopped trying and started to think about what Felix had taught me. I remembered him telling me that when I was smaller and weaker than my enemy, I needed to have the element of surprise on my side. With a deep breath, I braced myself, sent a thankful thought to Felix and went completely numb in the arms of my enemy. The person holding me eased his grip around me, thinking that I'd given up – which gave me an opportunity to attack without the other one being prepared for it. With quick movements, I squirmed out of the strong embrace and rolled onto the ground. My capturer cursed low under his breath, but I didn't even bother to listen for who it was, I was already on my feet. Unfortunately, I only managed to take two steps before I was captured again and thrown hard on the ground. As I tried to roll away, my hands were forced behind my back and the Volturi guard put all his weight on my back, making my unable to move – not that I stopped trying. For a few minutes the guard just sat on my back as I groaned, crawled and screamed.

"Would you just cut it out?" my capturer said, growing tired of my attempts of escape. I froze. That voice, that voice belonged to someone I knew very fell. I groaned again. I felt all the hate I'd build up against him boil up in my body, making me furious.

"Never" I hissed and tried to kick him in the back. I could practically hear Alec rolling his eyes. With two simple movements, he managed to hold my hands with one of his own as he put his legs over my thighs, and his other hand on my lower back. This time I really couldn't move.

"Let me go", I said. Alec sighed and leaned down so his lips were in level with my ear.

"I can't do that", he said. I wanted to spit in his face.

"Then just kill me already." There was no way to explain how much I hated Alec in that moment. But even though I hated him and wanted to see him burn, there was also a part of me that wanted to turn around and kiss him. A part of me that still cared for him and just wanted to sink in to his embrace and stay there forever. Fortunately, that part of me was shoved in a corner far inside my head by the other part of me, the part who saw him as the bastard who captured my family and broke my heart. I liked that part much better.

"I can't do that either, Ren", Alec sighed, distracting me from my thoughts.

"And why's that?" I spat as I looked for a way to escape. My pulse was way too high and the fact that Alec was pressing his body against mine wasn't helping. I didn't matter how much I tried not to think about it, Alec was still in every corner of my thoughts, clouding my mind. "Need to screw me first to please Aro?" I hissed to distract both myself and Alec. It worked.

"What?" he said, tensing up. "How…Who…What?" I almost applauded him for his act. He almost seemed sincerely confused. Almost.

"You don't think I know?" I said. Why couldn't he just stop lying? Why keep up the act? "Felix told me everything; Aro's plans, his experiments, the real reason my family left me. The way you faked our relationship, your feelings." It was hard to keep my voice straight, I just wanted to cry. Thinking about it in my loneness was one thing, but actually saying it to his face? Actually confronting him about it? That was hard.

I could feel Alec relaxing his body, sighing heavy. "Oh, Renesmee", he said, sounding sad. I resisted the urge to turn my head and look at him. Instead I stared at the ground a few inches from my face. The grass was green, slowly starting to turn yellow. An ant crawled through the grass making his way back to his home. I wanted to go home too. I wanted to be with my family, wanted to be truly safe. But I knew that wouldn't happen. Not now, not when I was captured again. With a deep sigh, I relaxed and surrendered.

Alec seemed to notice my defeat, though he quickly got up and dragged me with him. In a second I was turned against him, looking him straight in the eye.

"How long have you known?" he asked, looking at me with those red eyes that used to make me melt. I looked down at my shoes, forcing back my tears.

"Two weeks", I whispered. "Maybe a little more." Since I was already caught, I might as well spill my guts before he killed me. "I started to suspect it when I heard you talking to Aro after we fought in the training room." As I talked, I turned my gaze to Alec, who looked more and more miserable for every word I said.

"That long?" he said sounding out of breath. I nodded and frowned. Why was he so taken by this? Why did he even care?

"Yeah that long. So you can stop acting now, I know you don't care." I bit down on my lip, trying to look as defiant as possible. I'd been so open with him, I'd told him everything, and now I couldn't even show my tears. This whole situation made me nauseous. I was so tired of these sick games. Why even continue to pretend to have any feelings at all? Wouldn't it just be easier for both of us if he just cut the bullshit and got to the point?

I inhaled at the same time as Alec did, for a short while our gazes locked and my heart broke for the millionth time.

"Renesmee…" Alec started to say, grabbing my wrist and pulling me closer. I refused to look at him. "Renesmee", he said again, firmer this time, as he released my wrist and grabbed my shoulders instead. "Look at me." His voice sounded so pained that I almost did as he told me to. But looking at him would only make me cry, and I would not die crying. When Alec realized that I was not going to meet his gaze, he sighed.

"It was a scam at first, yes", he began; every word piercing my heart like a tiny little knife. "In the beginning you were only a mission to me, another target. My instructions were easy: make you fall in love with me, make you feel at home and secure as a member of the Volturi and make you complete the mission." Alec paused. "We were supposed to create a child together, a child that would be Aro's next experiment. That was the plan", Alec paused again, but did not continue. I'd finally given up the fight with my tears, and they were now rolling freely down my face. I couldn't stop them, it all hurt too much. Hearing Alec confirming what I already knew, taking in the fact that my only real friend in the Volturi was dead, and the fact that I was going to die too, it was all too much. So instead of biting down on my lip so hard I could taste my own blood, I relaxed and let the tears flow freely. Maybe it would even make Alec sympathize me and kill me fast instead of dragging out on it.

"Renesmee, please don't cry." Alec's voice was so filled with agony that I just had to look at him. His face was frowned and he looked like Jane was using her powers on him. I quickly looked around, making sure that we were still alone. The only thing I saw was the trees and some brave insects that dared to come close. I looked at Alec again, still trying to figure out why he was in pain.

"Why are you still faking it?" I asked after a few seconds of staring at each other. "I already know the truth, so why are you acting?" I was so frustrated, so angry, but the tears messed up my voice, making me sound small and vulnerable. Alec sighed, looking like I'd missed something obvious.

"Oh, Renesmee", he said, taking my face between his hands. "I'm not faking it." I frowned and was started to ask what he meant, but he interrupted me. "It may all have been a lie in the beginning, but you grew on me. For every second I spent in your company, you took a place in my heart. The first few moments may have been an act, but the more I said I love you, the more the words started to come true. It wasn't part of the plan, but it happened. I fell in love with you Renesmee. I fell in love with all of you, your emotions and your opinions, your stubbornness and your goodwill. I fell in love with you, and I found myself wanting to protect you. You were not just a mission anymore; you were the person who held my heart. You are the person who holds my heart." All I could do was to blink. I heard what he said, but my mind couldn't understand it. More tears started flowing and I drew a jagged breath.

"How can I believe you?" I said, looking in to those wonderful red eyes, not a shade darker than they used to. Alec sighed, stroking his thumb against my cheekbone.

"You just have to. There's no way I can prove it to you, you'll just have to look me in the eye and see that I'm telling you the truth." Alec's thumb still stroked my cheek and I resisted the urge to lean my head against his palm. So many feelings roared inside me. He'd done nothing but lie to me, nothing to give me a reason to believe him, but yet I wanted to. I wanted to believe he loved me, wanted to believe that it had been real. But how could I believe him?

"I don't know Alec, I just-" before I could finish my sentence, Alec pulled me close and kissed me hard. I started to protest, but as soon as his lips met mine and his wonderful smell surrounded me, I was stuck. I melted into his arms, kissing him back, wanting to be as close to him as possible. Somewhere deep inside I knew that he might be playing me, but right now I didn't care. My body and mind needed refuge, and now they'd found it in Alec's arms.

The kiss lasted for only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. When we at last drew apart, a sigh escaped both our lips.

"I've missed doing that", Alec said, leaning his forehead against mine. I exhaled, smiling slightly.

"Me too." For a while we just stood there, forehead against forehead, enjoying the presence of each other. Then reality came over us when someone from my family was calling my name from far away. I immediately twitched, turning my head towards the sound. Alec took a deep breath.

"So what happens now?" I asked, still listening for my family. Alec looked at me and grabbed my hand.

"I don't suppose you want to go back to Volterra?" Even though his expression radiated hopelessness, his voice had a weak tone of hopeful wonder. I looked at him, my heart tearing to pieces once more.

"No", I said. "No, I don't." Alec sighed, scratching his head with his right hand. I studied him, going through every word he'd said to me in my mind.

"Come with me", I blurted out suddenly. Alec froze, looking at me.

"What?"

"You say that you love me, and that it's not a lie. If you love me, Chelsea's bond has no effect on you anymore, which means that you can come with me." I was starting to feel hope. If Alec had just told me the truth, if he really loved me, he could come with us. Maybe we could have our fairytale ending.

My hope unfortunately vanished when I met Alec's gaze.

"I can't", he said, looking miserable. The small smile that had started to appear on my face quickly disappeared and I started to pull my hand out of his. With a hard but gentle tug, he stopped me. "It's not because I don't love you, 'cause I do. But I can't leave Jane, Renesmee." Alec sounded heartbroken, looking at me with eyes shining with pain. I swallowed hard. Jane hadn't even crossed my mind.

"She might be a horrible person sometimes and her personality isn't always the best, but she's my sister. We've been together always, I can't leave her." Even though I knew he had a reasonable argument, tears still stung my eyes and I couldn't let go of the fact that this might be a trick. That he didn't actually love me and that he was just using Jane as an excuse – a very good one, but an excuse none the less.

"Oh", I said, feeling like I was being torn in half – again. Alec sighed painfully and squeezed my hand hard. I looked down at my feet, trying to blink away the new tears, but Alec saw right through me. He gently put two fingers under my chin, lifting my head up, making me look him in the eye.

"I would go with you if I could, okay?" His fire eyes stared deeply into mine. I nodded slightly, wishing that my lip wouldn't quiver.

"What now?" I said, clearing my throat. Alec looked doubtful, as if he was not sure of what to do. I was still listening for my family, but couldn't hear anything. For a while I wondered if they'd already left, but quickly tossed the thought away. Instead, I looked at Alec, watching him as he thought about his options. Either he could drag me back to Volterra against my will, or he could let me go. It was a real black or white scenario, either one or the other.

My parents called out for me again, this time closer. We both turned our heads against the sound.

"Alec-" I began, but he hushed me. There was so much pain in his eyes when I met his gaze, and I started to wonder if he was going to force me back to Volterra. But then he let my hand go, clenching his jaw tight.

"Run", he said, taking a step back. "Run."

I ran.