Chapter 21 – Finally

I didn't hesitate. There was nothing left standing in the way of us being together – nothing except my current fears.

"Are you okay, Miss?" the lady in the seat next to me on the plane asked full of concern. My knuckles were turning white from how tightly I was clutching my seat armrest.

"Yeah, of course," I lied horribly. "I'm sorry, it's just I was on a plane that crashed in the Alaskan mountains not that long ago, so this just isn't fun for me," I added, probably a little too honestly. The woman looked horrified by my words. "Sorry," I mumbled, but otherwise ignored her.

The takeoff was terrifying, and as we flew over the snow covered peaks, I had to breathe into a paper bag to keep myself from hyperventilating. If I had been sitting in the window seat, it would have been total collapse.

I had never been afraid to fly before - I wasn't even that scared during the flight back to Seattle after my rescue. Then again, I was shell-shocked and numb during that passage. This flight was different. Not only was I fully awake and feeling a million different emotions, but I was heading towards Edward instead of away from him. What if something happened to stop me from getting there? I was getting closer by the minute, but my fear was growing by the minute as well.

What if he didn't love me anymore? What if he never wanted to see me again? What if I just stopped with the 'what ifs'? I couldn't continue being a coward. No matter his current feelings towards me, I had to confront him. He needed to be told in person that he was going to be a father.

"Just breathe, Bella," I told myself.

When the plane finally touched down safely, I wasn't sure if I was relieved, or even more nervous. I was taking a huge risk not warning him that I was coming, but I felt like it was the only way to deliver news of this importance. Calling him on the phone, after so long apart, would just feel awkward and strained. I just sincerely hoped he was happy to see me…

Once I picked up my things from the baggage claim, I hired a driver to take me to the address I got from Kate, however when I arrived I was confused.

"Um… Are you sure this is the right place?" I asked the driver.

"This is the address you gave me," the man said while taking my stuff out of his trunk.

I looked back up at the building before me, and bit my bottom lip. "Crap," I mumbled.

Perhaps Kate got the wrong address from his parents. Perhaps this was his work place instead. It certainly didn't look like any house I had ever seen. Then again, it was seemingly out in the middle of nowhere. There were no other structures within miles, so it being a small hospital or doctor's office didn't make sense.

I looked back at the car as it pulled away, and I realized I didn't have any choice but to go knock on the door. It wasn't necessarily cold outside, but experience taught me that the temperatures in Alaska could drop drastically in the evenings, even during summer. I certainly didn't want to be stuck outside for too long, especially if I was at the wrong location.

"Come on, Bella. Don't be a coward. Just breathe," I reminded myself yet again.

I approached the front steps slowly, but then, like a beacon of light through a dark storm, I was suddenly met by the best sight I had seen in months.

I gasped just as two large paws jumped up to my chest.

"Jake!" I cried. Many yellow labs looked the same, but I would know my best friend anywhere. There was absolutely no mistaking his deep soulful eyes and cheerful grin. "Jake, oh my god. What are you doing here, buddy?" I asked with my eyes stinging from salty tears.

I couldn't stop crying as he licked my face and I hugged him tightly. He looked so good, and strong, and healthy, and I was just so beyond grateful to see him again.

I wasn't sure how long I embraced him for, but the sun kept sinking towards the horizon, so I knew it was time to go in. After seeing Jake, I was sure Edward had to be there somewhere as well. I didn't understand how or why they were together, but they were, and it just made me that much more eager to see Edward too.

"Where is he, boy?" I asked him, fully confident that Jake the Wonder Dog understood.

He barked once at me quietly, and then turned and clawed at the door.

"Oh, right." I rang the doorbell, and my heart raced as I waited… and waited… and waited. There was no answer.

"Well?" I said to Jake, who tilted his head to the side in bewilderment. I was slightly concerned that Edward possibly wasn't home, and wouldn't be anytime soon. Since I had nowhere else to go, and no way to get there, and zero cell service in that area, I would probably be forced to spend the night outside, on the porch, in the cold. It would be horribly ironic if I ended up freezing to death on his front porch after everything we survived in the wilderness.

Jake barked at me again, and then clawed the door one more time, so I shrugged and hesitantly tried opening the door. To my surprise it was unlocked, so I tentatively let myself in.

"Hello?" I called, hoping he would hear me. "Edward?"

As I stepped inside his foyer, I was at a complete loss for words. I had never even been inside a residence with a foyer before. The place was huge, and beautiful, and shockingly bare. As I found my way into the living room area, I was in awe of the tall ceilings and complete lack of any decorations whatsoever. There was a couch, and a TV above a massive fireplace, but other than that, nothing. No pictures on the wall, or anything at all to make the very large house resemble anything close to a home. It was definitely not warm and inviting in any way. It was actually a little sad to look at.

I continued to wander around the cold house, and wound up in the kitchen. It was a big beautiful gourmet kitchen, but it looked like it had never been used. I honestly felt like if I touched anything I was going to leave fingerprints, so I kept my hands full of my things, not wanting to put them down and cause a mess anywhere.

Something made me look out one of the kitchen windows, and then my heart jumped. There, chopping wood just outside the back porch steps, was Edward. The sight of him dressed casually and moving about with an axe, was something I knew I would never forget. I found myself frozen in place, unable to pry my eyes away from him.

Even from that distance, I could see that he had put on weight since our time in the cabin. Healthy weight in the form of muscles in all the right places. Weight that I wouldn't allow myself to notice when I saw him at the magazine party. He was truly an astoundingly beautiful sight to see.

I must have stood there and watched him chopping wood for over twenty minutes. It wasn't until he finished, and made his way back inside, that I was able to even move from that spot I had been locked in.

He walked in with his head down, but the moment he looked up and noticed me there, he froze.

"Hey," I said awkwardly, unsure what else to say at the moment. "I…uh, knocked, but you didn't answer, so… I just came in," I said, feeling really stupid as he continued to just stare at me. "I can go back out and knock again if you want," I said like a moron.

He cracked a slight smile. "Bella, what are you doing here?"

"I… uh…was just in the area. You know… work stuff," I joked.

Jake didn't think it was funny, so he whimpered as a response.

"You didn't tell me you were moving," I said, trying to break the ice a bit.

He shrugged. "It's not like we've really talked since we left the cabin."

Jake whimpered again, and then licked my hand, so I bent down and ruffled his scruff. "How did you get Jake here? Is he just visiting? Last I heard the Clearwater's loved having him home with them in Washington."

Edward sighed. "They did, but… I stopped by their house in La Push before I moved out here. I always make sure to do a post-op appointment with my patients," he said with his adorable smirk. I smiled back at him, but he fell serious again. "He was his usual happy self, but Seth said that was the most active he had been since they brought him home. Apparently he was happy to see me. I'm not sure why, we've never been that fond of each other," he scowled at Jake.

I could have sworn Jake smiled at him in response.

"Anyway, Seth said his father was living here in Alaska before the accident, and since Jake was happy to see me, and I was moving here, he thought I should bring him with me. They live in a suburb anyway, and Jake just didn't have any room there. So…" He shrugged again. "They keep in touch. They video chat, and plan to come visit him."

I smiled. "Who would have ever thought you would end up with Jake. You've come a long way from wanting to eat him."

"Well, the power tends to go out a lot in this area during bad storms. I have back up generators, but Jake knows that if it ever comes down to them failing, and we're locked in for a long period of time, I still wouldn't hesitate to eat him. He understands. He agreed to take the risk."

I giggled. "So, Doctor Cullen is now a dog lover, huh?"

"No," he said without hesitation. "I'm not into dogs. Jake is more like a roommate. He comes and goes when he pleases. I do buy him food though, and he has yet to pay rent."

I smiled again, but then I was shocked when someone else entered the room - someone else of the canine variety. A beautiful chocolate lab timidly sidled up to Jake.

I looked to Edward for explanation. "If you're not a dog person, why do you have a second dog?"

"That's Foxy. She is not my dog, she's Jake's. He brought her home one day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him no. He's pretty much in love, but she doesn't really let me near her. She's not a people dog - which is more than fine by me since I'm not a dog person."

"Oh," I giggled again as I attempted to pet the dark colored beauty. "Foxy?" I questioned.

"Eh, he missed his mountain tail," Edward joked.

"What if she is someone's lost pet?" I questioned. The dog was definitely skittish, but she did let me pet her briefly.

"I caught her long enough to wrestle her to the vet last week, and they scanned her for a chip. She actually has one. Apparently she's been missing in the wilderness and presumed dead for over a year. I don't know where Jake found her. Luckily her previous owners didn't want her back, so she's all his."

"Well… I suppose they have the whole 'lost in the wilderness' thing in common, don't they?" I said, feeling like she definitely fit there with Jake.

"Yeah, but she's pretty much a bitch and cramps our bachelor pad style," he joked, but fell serious once again while changing the subject. "What is all that stuff anyway?" he questioned, gesturing to my mound of belongings at my feet. "Is that the guitar I sent you? I'm not taking it back if that's why you're here."

I laughed once. "I do think it was far too extravagant of a gift, but I'm not about to give it back. I love that thing. I almost have 'I Want It That Way' down by heart. I'm not very good at it, but it's getting better."

"Maybe you should go back to Johnny Cash. Challenge yourself a little more."

"I might eventually, but I have a long way to go before I need to be challenged."

We stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments, and it was actually painful. I felt like we were so close to where we needed to be, but there was just this wall of uncertainty keeping us apart. I wanted to pour my heart out to him, but I found myself scared and stalling.

"This house is… something," I said while looking up at the vaulted ceilings.

He looked up as well, and the nodded. "Built by a rich oil tycoon. He went crazy thinking his family wanted to steal from him, so he moved up here to be away from everyone and everything."

"So what made you want to buy it?" I questioned softly. "Your family and friends are mostly in Seattle, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but I guess I just got tired of everyone asking me if I was okay all the time…and then having to lie."

"So… you're not okay?" I asked concerned.

"Is there even such a thing as being okay anymore?" he asked despondently.

I realized in that moment that Edward had been experiencing the exact same emotions I had since being away from the cabin. I could only hope his reason for being down was the same as mine as well.

"Why are you here, Bella?" he asked after another beat of silence passed between us. His tone was strained, almost pained, and I knew he was over all the forced casual chatter.

"I… uh… was hoping that…um…" I huffed. "Gosh, why is this so hard?" I said with a frustrated smile.

"I don't know, but it is going to get dark soon, and you really don't want to be driving these rural streets at night."

"I miss you," I admitted quickly. It was like ripping off a band aid, and it felt so good to finally get it out. "I've missed you every moment since I left that cabin. We were everything to each other, and then… nothing."

"Yeah well, it's pretty impossible to go from lovers to friends - at least it is for me."

"I'm not here to be your friend, Edward," I murmured.

He glanced down at my hand. "You're not wearing your ring."

"Taking it off was long overdue," I told him, echoing the words he had said to me when I noticed he removed his in the cabin.

"You and Garrett broke up?" he asked quietly.

"We were never really back together. I went home with him because…."

"You know, when I woke up in the hospital, I was pretty freaking confused," he said, cutting me off. "The last thing I remembered was telling you how to thread a suture." He paused, clearly lost in the memory of that horrible day. "So when I realized you had found help, and we were in the hospital, I just wanted to see you. After I learned you were in a different hospital, I asked the doctors if I could call you on the phone. They wouldn't let me of course. But after I was finally released, I… went looking for you. I had a buddy who worked at the DMV, and he traced down your home address for me."

My heart sank. Suddenly I knew where he was going with his story, and it made me absolutely nauseous.

"So I bought some flowers - because I didn't want to show up at your place empty handed," he continued. "But as I was driving to your apartment, I had second thoughts. Flowers seemed so stupid and cliché after everything we had been through, so I pulled over and threw them in the trash. Then I looked up and was surprised to see a music shop right there. I saw that guitar in the window, and I thought it was perfect for you. So I bought it, and brought it right to your place… except you weren't alone."

"Edward, I thought…"

"So, I took the guitar and went back home," he said, unwilling to even let me speak. "I was going to just return it to the store, but what I really wanted to do was bust it against the fucking wall. It's how I was feeling - Like everything was shattering on the inside. I don't know what stopped me from doing it. Instead, I just kept it in my room at my parent's place where I was staying. I would just spend hours staring blankly at it. Everyone around me just kept talking. Talking all the time about how I needed help, or therapy, or some shit like that. They were probably right. But then one day my friend, Emmett, made a joke about how we ate that poor cabin owner out of house and home, and I realized I needed to reimburse him. Mister Waylon was thankful, of course, he didn't have a lot of money. To show his gratitude, he sent all our things back to me. It wasn't until I saw your camera, and dad's glasses, that I realized…" He shook his head. "I realized it didn't matter who you were with, as long as you were happy. I mean, I knew the entire time that you still loved him. You never said anything to make me think otherwise, so really, me stupidly thinking we would stay together… that's on me. I'm not mad… anymore. I really just want you to be happy. So I sent you your things, and the guitar, because in the end, you are still the most incredible person I have ever known, and I wanted you to have it… I want you to have everything you could ever want."

"All I want is you," I told him quickly, before he had a chance to say anything else. "You're all I've wanted since… since we first made it to the cabin. There is a big part of me that didn't even want to leave there. I just wanted to stay with you. After I got word you had woken from your coma, I wanted to contact you, but Garrett said you and Kate were giving your marriage another try, and…"

"Why would he know anything about my marriage to tell you something like that?" he asked confused.

"He and Kate became friends while looking for us. It's what she told him. She thought…"

"I know what she thought," he said evenly. "But I never even considered it for a minute, and I certainly didn't run back to her when I found out you were with Garrett. I'd rather be alone forever than go back to the life I had with her. I was so stupid to be upset when she first asked for a divorce. When I was with her, I had no idea what love really felt like."

"Edward... I was scared of being alone," I tried explaining myself, but he shook his head at me and looked like he was closing himself off. Maybe it was too late. Maybe the damage that was done was too great to overcome. Maybe I lost him the moment I stupidly made the horrible mistake of returning to the apartment I shared with Garrett.

My heart felt like it was shattering all over again. Edward was stubborn, almost as stubborn as I was, and I unknowingly hurt him. His pain was added to my pain, and the weight of it was crushing me. Tears fell down my cheeks, and I became pathetically desperate. Desperate for relief that only he could give me, and I wasn't past begging.

"Edward, I was scared of being alone," I repeated through my tears. "I don't have any real family left to turn to. But alone is exactly what I was without you. I was staying at my old apartment with Garrett, but I wasn't with him - not really. I slept on the couch. I hardly spoke to him, and the couple times he tried to hug me, I pulled away. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have gone home with him at all. I was scared and heartbroken. I thought you were back with Kate. It was all one big horrible misunderstanding. I missed you so much, and it killed me. I knew it couldn't go on like that, so after a couple weeks I left and stayed with my friend. Garrett and I broke up for good over two months ago, and all I wanted was to be with you, but I thought you were married. I should have just found a way to call you. I should have just tried harder. Edward, I'm so sorry, I never…"

"Hey…" he interrupted me once more, but this time he did it while closing the distance between us, and he shockingly cradled my face in his hands. "Stop," he murmured as he wiped my tears with his thumbs. "You don't have to keep trying to convince me. You're here. I'm convinced."

"But I went back with Garrett when I should have talked to you first," I mumbled, still feeling like I was in some huge battle to get him back.

"Shh, it's okay," he cooed while pulling me into him for what had to be, the best feeling I had ever experienced. He held me tightly, yet tenderly, without any empty space left between us. I couldn't help but close my eyes and just breathe him in. "I should have fought harder for you," he added quietly. "I should have knocked on your door and demanded to talk to you that day. This is on me too. I'm so sorry, Bella."

"I love you so much," I mumbled into his chest.

I felt his lips press to my forehead. "I love you too," he said emotionally. "More than you could ever imagine."

He had no idea just how wrong his statement was, because I could do more than just imagine his immense love, I felt it in every fiber of by being. As he held me in that way, I was floating in his love, his smell, his warmth, his essence. It all surrounded me, and consumed me, and I was finally whole again.

There had been a mountain between us – a figurative mountain of misunderstandings, and heartache, and loneliness, but we finally crossed it, and we were finally right where we belonged. In each other's arms, we were finally home.

...

***A/N: Aww, what a great ending, right? Except she still hasn't told him about the baby, so there's that. Lol. This is NOT the ending. A few more chapters still to go ;)