Before the Dawn
Chapter 24
On the drive back into town it was deathly quiet in the car while Sami valiantly tried to hold her emotions in check. She couldn't look at EJ or rather wouldn't look in his direction although his presence was as strong as ever if not more so since her mind apparently was on continuous replay with various images of them making love.
She inwardly scolded herself for allowing such foolishness because according to EJ it had all been just sex anyway, which was abundantly clear to her at least it had been on his part. To think within a few hours he'd be spending time with another woman, one he had taunted her earlier about how sweet and kind she was, how she was his only friend, and damn if the knowledge didn't hurt her pride in the extreme.
She knew well enough she wasn't any of those things to EJ anymore even though it would have been a huge stretch of the imagination to ever be considered sweet or kind since she learned the hard way such traits had never helped her get ahead or rather achieve her goals. No sweetness and kindness had been trademarks of her sisters and apparently it was something EJ viewed in Arianna as well.
But long ago she had been EJ's friend, had thought he was her friend too, a friend who finally saw through all the mirrors and smokescreens she put up to fool people. He had played on her insecurities without her even realizing it, she had divulged her deepest darkest secrets and surprisingly it hadn't driven him away.
Or at least she had believed that until the knowledge of his true parentage had been revealed.
Liar, manipulator, charlatan, player, EJ was all those things and more and she needed to clear her head of any romantic notions that she had of him which once more had begun to grow within her being. Hot amazing sex did not equal love; it never had in her world so why would it now?
She should have known way back then EJ had an agenda because why would the hot new guy in town be solely interested in her? The answer was he hadn't been; he had been on a mission decreed by his psychotic father.
Hard lessons learned, ones she needed to remember instead of recalling how incredible it felt when he was inside of her this afternoon. They just had some kind of unexplainable crazy chemistry that was all, one she couldn't understand because EJ should be the last person she was attracted to, but damn it there was the undeniable pull towards him she had always felt ever since they had met one another.
Well she needed to fight that pull with all of her might like she had done these past few years. She was strong, she could do this, she wouldn't allow herself to be weak and needy. While the saying went the meek would one day inherit the earth Sami knew she wasn't in that category, nor did she ever want to be some kind of mealy mouse woman afraid to speak her mind to any man or woman for that matter.
Meek and mild were not her style, never had been and she wasn't going to start now even if all she wanted to do was tell EJ she was sorry for all the misunderstandings they had, how she wished things were different between them now, how she longed to be enveloped in his sheltering arms. All good intentions she had concerning him, yet she knew wouldn't act of them, her insecurities and even worse her stubborn pride stood in the way of making those kind of concessions.
She looked out the window and almost laughed aloud thinking how the road to hell was paved with good intentions and the road she was traveling was littered with them. But she caught herself before she let out a sound because she didn't want to have to explain why she felt like her grip on reality was slipping away bit by bit.
Finally they arrived back at Mad World Cosmetics, at least EJ had remembered her saying she was going back to work before picking up the children from her grandmother Caroline later on in the evening. He parked the car in the almost deserted parking deck and she was more than ready to get out of his vehicle and was in the process of opening up the passenger side door to escape when she felt his hand reach over to touch her arm which stalled her plans of a speedy exit.
Damn it, she wanted to scream at him, please don't touch me again. Because when EJ touched her it made her want to believe in impossible dreams of them being together and she knew damn well that wasn't going to happen.
It frightened her how a simple touch from him could detain her from doing what good common sense was screaming inside her head for her to do which was get the hell out of his car before she begged him not to go, that she needed him now more than ever before.
But she couldn't jerk away from him because if she did, it would only give him more power over her which was something he sure as hell didn't need to know he possessed over her. He would surely lord it over her if he did and that was the absolute last thing she wanted was EJ lording anything over her.
She wasn't going to kowtow to him or any man so she gave him an imperious questioning look down at his hand and willed herself not to feel the burn of desire that instantly had crept up as soon as he had touched her once more.
"Need anything else EJ?"
For a brief second she thought he was going to say something to make her stay, for her to change her mind and confess all these confusing feelings she had for him. She could plainly see it in his eyes, ones that had been switching back and forth all afternoon between bleakness, dark desire and what she almost believed was regret.
He didn't say anything though and she shook off his hand and forced herself to open the door and walk away without looking back once. Even though she was out of the car she swore she could feel his intense stare upon her, but she'd been imagining things all afternoon that apparently weren't true.
EJ wasn't harboring the same feelings she had felt today and that thought kept her walking onward to the elevator at the far end of the parking garage, each step making the distance between them a reality.
~EJami~
EJ almost followed her out of the car, for a moment he even considered calling a halt to these mind games he had played and was going to play with her in the upcoming weeks. Yet he hadn't uttered a word for her not to go.
All the times she had rejected him rose up in his mind, all the lies she had told him kept echoing and worse still was the knowledge she would do it all over again if he allowed her back into his life.
The sad thing was Samantha apparently believe she still held the upper hand, but within a few days time he would disabuse her of that notion. She wasn't going to know what hit her because it was going to come down on her from all sides.
And he was the one who had orchestrated it all, the downfall of the mighty Samantha Gene Brady.
It wasn't going to be pretty, it was going to be ugly and vicious, events intended to tear out her soul in the exact same way she had torn his to shreds. He had to hand it to his father, Stefano DiMera had taught him many things over the years and he was pulling out the big guns after months of patiently waiting and planning the perfect revenge, one that was intended to purposely maim.
He'd watched her continue to walk away from him, like she had done countless times before and he steeled himself from getting out of the car, calling out her name for her to turn around and pull her in his arms, tell her how much he loved her, how despite all he had tried to rid his heart of her, it had been a fruitless quest on his part.
Then he saw her pause in her walk, she stood stock still for almost thirty seconds give or take a few seconds and his heart began to race thinking this time Samantha would be the one to make that first move, that she would come back to him, but of course his mind must have been playing tricks on him because while she altered her course it was only to go to the doorway that housed the stairwell instead of the elevator.
He witnessed her pull the door open and then she was gone from his line of vision, her figure disappearing with the closing of the door.
For a moment he thought how symbolic it all was, the closing of the door, one he needed to do to finally seal his heart off completely. He closed his eyes willing himself to be strong, he didn't need Samantha to make him happy and whole. He didn't need love in his life beyond his children and he wouldn't actively seek it anymore from anyone, especially Samantha.