Deep, Dark secret

EPV

"What did she do?" I asked Charles on the phone in the forest where Bella would not hear me.

"I can't tell you that. I've said this a thousand times," he replied in a strained voice.

"How do you expect us to help her if we don't know what the problem is?" I hissed.

"Knowing the problem won't help," he hissed back, "I recommend cocaine," his voice was somewhat hysterical.

"This is no time for jokes," I had to remind myself to keep my voice down.

"I'm not joking," he dropped to a tired tone, "Taking away her memory stopped her problems in their tracks but it also stopped the healing process with them. We hadn't gotten past the dangerous, stupid avoidance tactics and I feared she'd die before we did. She doesn't know any other way so, since she's virtually indestructible, I'd let her pick up where she left off and go from there."

"Even if that was the way forward, which I sincerely doubt, vampires can't get high," I whispered.

"Why the fuck not?" his voice went up a little.

"Our bodies absorb blood, not narcotics," I told him.

"Mix it with blood and see what happens," he said thoughtfully. He was actually serious.

"I'll call you back when you're in a more stable frame of mine," I snapped the phone shut. His wife was having a breakdown and he was feeling helpless.

Anything useless they asked in different phrases in their thoughts. I shook my head. Bella had been under the stairs for five days. Rosalie was sitting with her now. We were trying to come up with possible solutions when it happened. Out of the blue Bella attacked Rosalie. It wasn't a typical newborn attack. Bella had an astounding amount of fighting skill but no intention to hurt, just provoke. She fought each person who came close but eventually we stopped her. She did not at any point get angry. Afterwards she just went back to the spot she was sitting in.

Emmett called Charles. He didn't bother to leave the house. Charles didn't say a word and just put the phone down. We were now out of ideas. "Is he out of his mind?" I asked no one in particular when I saw Alice's vision. "What the hell is he doing?"

"I've been concentrating on Bella so I only saw him coming here," Alice answered.

"He's the only person with even a remote idea of what's going on," Emmett caught on.

I met him outside. He climbed out of his car with a backpack that smelled like blood, human blood. He'd gone completely insane. "You can't come in," I told him.

"If she wants me gone, she can tell me herself. I know you'd never let her do anything she'd regret so don't give me any shit about her instincts," he walked past me. I was too desperate to stop him so I entered the house and kept him behind me.

"Iz," he said in the volume of one accustomed to our hearing, "Talk to me, please."

"What do you want me to say?" we heard her voice for the first time in four days.

"That you'll come out and see me," Charles replied. The tension in the room rose as this request was processed.

"They did tell you that my eyes are a demonic, glow in the dark red, right?" she didn't move.

Shit he thought when he heard the word demonic. "Cool. They match your ring. Now come out here,"

I heard her take a deep breath then turn a corner. "Hi honey," he smiled when he saw her. She waved silently and looked down her nose. "I don't mind the eyes, really," he didn't know what else to say that would be comforting and unambiguous. They suit you wouldn't work. She'd just said they were demonic. That pretty much killed and complement to the association. "You can't pick a fight when you're outnumbered," he went on like we weren't in the room. "Besides being suicidal, it's stupid." She just shrugged, "Talk to me, Isabella," he pleaded. She put her arms around her waist and said nothing. "I have nothing against wallowing if it has a reasonable time limit. Just stop picking fights. If you wanna do something stupid I brought coke."

"So that's what that is," she moved closer until she was in front of me. The others quickly flanked me. "That is my husband," she said looking me in the eye. Then she put her arms between Emmett and I and parted us like the red sea. She walked past Charles and sat at the table. He took out a bag of red dust and put it on the table. Then he handed her some type of pipe and a credit card. He'd been planning this for at least two days.

"Stop torturing yourself. I know my presence causes you pain because of the way I smell. Breathing through your nose is masochistic," he sat opposite her. I felt like I was doing something wrong as I watched her divide the line.

"Unfortunately I can't snort cocaine with any other organ," she replied placing the pipe.

"Maybe this isn't the best solution," Carlisle said as she went through the first line..

"I don't see any other bright ideas," Charles said.

"Will it work?" Emmett couldn't help his curiosity as another line disappeared.

"Isn't that overdoing it?" I asked as she went through the seventh generous line.

"Would you all shout up," she looked up at us, "I'm trying to do drugs here." She went through thirteen lines and then sat up and looked at the ceiling. Her eyes went shut.

"Maybe you should lie down," Charles suggested. Bella held out her hand and he led her. No good could come of having an intoxicated newborn and a human side by side.

"Maybe she should lie down alone," I put my hand on his shoulder.

"No," Bella held on to his hand and led him to the nearest bedroom.

I'm not suicidal Charles assured me. I watched Bella get on the bed and face the wall through Charles eyes. He got in behind her and snuggled dangerously close. His arm went around her waist and I could see her body relax.

"I know what you did hurt you more than it did anyone else," he whispered in her ear, "But next time you want to torture yourself because you did it I want you to do me a favour. I want you to think of what would be happening right now if you hadn't done it." He placed his head in the nape of her neck.

"I think about that everyday, her voice had a distant quality to it, "That's kept me from shooting myself with that 9 mm you keep in your safe for two years. What tortures me is being a monster just like him."

"You're nothing like him," He stroked her cheek. We were all wondering who this new person in her life story was and what he did.

"Maybe I'm not like him. Maybe I'm a different kind of monster. All I know is that there is no person who isn't some kind of monster who could hold their own struggling child under water until they died."

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