LOL Lillian! I said mentions of smut and explicit content- I promise, there will be quite a bit of it in upcoming chapters! I just wrote a particular lovely love scene today ;)
So I leave for vacation next week and don't plan on taking my computer with me. So I'll try my best to post before I leave- and after I return, I will try to start making my chapters longer Author1911 ;) but I'll try to post the continuation of Peeta's chapter at some point this weekend!
I'm super stoked you guys because I am going to see the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12! Haha, or rather, I am going to the premiere of Mockingjay Part 2 and meeting the cast before watching the movie! So, excited doesn't even begin to cover it ;)
"Sweet dreams, my little princess," I whisper as I shut off the light and pull the door halfway closed. My little one year old fell asleep in my arms a few moments ago and I decided to go ahead and put her to bed while Katniss and Johanna have their girl talk. I shudder to think about what that means. But I imagine Katniss will return to me, all red and flushed from whatever Johanna tells her. My Katniss is still so naïve when it comes to many things and I can only imagine what Johanna is saying to her.
I hear the door close downstairs and I meet her on the stairs.
"Hey." I lean in to kiss her, my hand moving up to caress her cheek. Since our talk earlier this evening, I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hate fighting with my wife and more than that, I hate feeling this coldness between us. But I wanted her to know how much she had hurt me and I'm actually glad and a little surprised that she apologized. She deepens the kiss and pushes me against the wall. My hands move down to her waist, and I inch her shirt up a little so I can feel her skin with my fingertips. She pulls back, allowing us to breathe and I notice the box in her hands.
"Another present for Willow?"
"This is an early birthday present for me, actually. Well, for both of us."
"Oh yeah?" She nods and opens the box to show me.
Well damn Johanna. Not that I have a lot of experience with these kinds of things but Katniss and I have experimented with toys before and this one is definitely a surprise. Does she have any idea what Johanna has given her though?
"Do…do you know what it is?"
"Johanna said…we could both use it…wear it…and you would…use it on me…back there…" she is blushing like mad and she slams the lid over the box as if it's burned her. I tug on her hand and lead her back to our bedroom. She throws the box aside on the bed and I take her face in my hands so I can kiss her fully.
"Let's get ready for bed," I whisper. She nods and suddenly gasps.
"We were going to give Willow a bath. Is she-"
"I cleaned her up. She's not blue anymore." She smiles and nods as she moves to the drawer to get ready for bed. I watch her closely, sucking in a breath when I see that she chooses just a thin camisole that barely comes down past her belly button. She was so worried, after giving birth, that she wouldn't lose the baby weight but she has gotten back to her pre-baby weight and I can't help but moan a little when I see her exposed torso. She turns away, her long dark hair cascading all the way down her back. I decide to ready myself for bed as well and pull my shirt over my head. It's getting hot in the district and I decide my underwear is enough to sleep in. I head to the bathroom to finish getting ready and she slides in beside me as I am exiting.
She climbs under the blanket, knocking her gift onto the floor.
"I'll get it in the morning," she yawns as she drapes her body over mine. My cock twitches uncomfortably and I bite my lip, hoping she won't notice. Even after being married for so long, I still feel like that little boy on the train waking up next to her and trying to conceal my want for her.
"So are you going to explain the present to me?" I tense up underneath her and she notices, lifting her head from my chest so she can look me in the eye.
"It's called a strap on," I explain quietly, feeling my cheeks heat up. "When people engage in intercourse, the man can wear it for double penetration and it can act as a stimulant for his partner." Damn, I sound like I'm reciting a textbook. She bites her lip and rakes her fingernail over my nipple, which makes me shiver and inhale deeply.
"Johanna says…she said it's also used for anal sex." I nod carefully, seeing how nervous she is.
"It can be. The phallic part can go…wherever you want it to go."
"We haven't…I mean, we haven't tried anal sex…well, haven't tried…with your, um…"
"No, and we won't unless you are absolutely 100% comfortable with the thought," I cut off her stammering. I can feel the heat coming off her face.
"But…do you want to try it?" Shit. I think my cock has already sprung to attention at the mention of it. She shifts against me, her knee nudging my arousal and I release a hiss. She glances down and raises a brow.
"Well clearly you do."
"Katniss, I would love to try everything with you. But only if you want to as well. If you don't want to, I'm perfectly fine with that."
"But you want to try it," she persists.
"Let me be clear. If you decide you want to try this, I'll be happy. And if you don't want to, I'll be just as happy. I love you and love everything that we do."
"You would like it…I mean, you seem to like it when…it's your finger…I mean…" I lean up and kiss her forehead, hoping to kiss away her nervousness. She still has trouble talking about anything sexual and it stuns me when she can take control in the bedroom and be seductive with her words. And I'm not the only one who enjoys the new sensations. She's had some really intense orgasms the last few times I have slid my finger back there while I'm thrusting up into her. I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel myself harden even more, almost to the point of pain.
"So I don't understand…Johanna said I could wear it too. Does that mean…I'd do the same thing…to you?"
I'll admit, I'm taken aback for a moment and not sure how to answer. I've heard of it before but it was never something I thought about. I certainly heard a lot about it in the Capitol, many years ago.
How do I feel with the thought of Katniss fucking me? I can't really summon the image. I lean up to kiss her shoulder and play with her hair.
"Yes, I guess it would be the same. I'd never really thought about it before. But again, it's something we both need to be comfortable with." She nods and rests her head on my chest again.
"Speaking of comfortable, I don't imagine you'll get to sleep with that," she moves off my chest and I lean up to look at her. She leans down and kisses over my underwear and I squirm a little underneath her. She reaches into the slit and pulls my cock out, rock hard from her touch. Her lips graze my tip and I squeeze my eyes shut in ecstasy.
"Katniss," I moan as her mouth opens up and envelops me. "Ah! Shit." She grips me in her hand and moves her mouth over me, making my head fall back onto the pillow. But why should I be the only one enjoying this? I reach around and rub her ass, sliding my finger up and down over her panties. My mouth always waters for her, and I pull her toward me so she can sit over me. She spreads her legs so she can lean over me and take me deeper, and I move the panties aside so I can taste her.
We both fall to the bed, still quivering from our releases and the sheets are wet and sticky. Both of us are too tired to do anything, though, and I pull her on top of me and stroke her damp hair.
"I love you and everything that we do too," she whispers sleepily. I smile as we drift off to sleep together.
"Take him!" I'm yanked to my feet and feel a sharp tug at my curls. A glittering knife is held to my throat and I can hear Johanna yelling for them to leave me alone. I want to tell her to shut up, that she'll only make it worse for herself and for all of us, but I can't speak. The last round of torture made my screams echo off the walls and my throat is sore and dry. They've discovered that while they have to leave my face alone, they can mark me up in other places. Knives are their favorite, though a few of the peacekeepers favor the fringed whips. I've passed out from the pain twice, only to be revived with freezing cold water and the torture starts all over again.
They haven't given us any food or water today and I feel like we are back in the arena.
I'm suddenly yanked forward and pushed into another empty cell. We're a good ways away from mine and Annie's cell, and I remain face down on the ground, holding my breath in wait.
One of the peacekeeper's boots finds home in my ribs and I curl up in pain. My hands are yanked in front of me and thick ropes are wrapped tightly around my wrists, and attached to the metal bars. Another rope is looped around my neck and I gasp for breath as it slowly tightens. This is it. This is why I've been brought into an empty cell. They're finally going to kill me. I summon up the image that has kept me going, the one that has made all of this bearable.
Katniss. God I would give anything to see her one more time. Is she safe? Is she thinking of me?
The rope around my neck pulls upward and I have to lift my head or be strangled. The peacekeeper inside the cell with me hits me with a whip, then yanks my jumpsuit down around my ankles. The sting of the whip makes me blink back tears and I toss my head back, feeling my throat constrict again. The whip meets my wounded flesh again and again and I am sure I will pass out from the pain again. Suddenly he stops. I can't see where he has gone but I pray he will leave me alone.
I feel beefy hands at the waistband of my boxers and he yanks them down to my feet. My breath catches in my throat as I lie naked on the hard floor. Something cold is shoved between my legs, spreading them wide. I whimper as whatever it is rubs against my manhood and I hear a cruel chuckle in my ear. The object is removed and I am granted a small reprieve before it comes cracking down on my shoulder. Shit! A baton. It's cold and heavy and I feel like my shoulder blade could have just cracked. I slump forward, making it even more difficult to breathe. His hand buries itself in my hair and he yanks back, making my eyes water. I feel the baton between my legs again, as he slowly runs it up and down between my cheeks. He presses it down on my sac and I try not to scream.
"Tell me boy. Have you fucked your Seam slut yet?" That's really none of your damn business, I want to snap but my mouth isn't working properly and really, what's the point? I merely give a quick shake of the head and hear him chuckle again.
"On your knees," he snarls into my ear. I struggle to my knees, positively shaking with fear for whatever is about to happen. My hands are stretched out in front of me and my ass is elevated in the air. My cheeks flush with heat as I feel his palm meet my skin. It's not the same as the whip. His bare hand repeatedly slaps my cheeks and tears stream down my cheeks. I feel the baton again, tapping against the backs of my knees so I will spread my legs more. I then feel it elsewhere, sliding across my ass and then sliding between the cleft.
"Please," I whimper softly. I don't know what I'm begging for. For him to stop or for him to just end it all.
"Should I cut out your tongue like your filthy Avox friends? No one would hear your screams. Not that it matters here either. Scream all you want. No one is coming to rescue you."
Katniss. I love you. I think to myself before I succumb to the darkness.
"KATNISS!" I fight with whatever is holding me down, making it difficult to breathe. The peacekeeper! He's here, restraining me! My hands are flying everywhere, I'm writhing on the floor until I feel soft hands touching my face.
"Peeta, shh, it's ok love, you're safe," I hear her crooning near my ear. My eyes snap open and I see glassy grey eyes staring back at me. She moves off my lap but I grab her and yank her forward, my arms wrapping tightly around her. She tenderly strokes my curls and kisses my cheek and ear.
"You're ok," she continues to whisper. "You're safe in my arms. I'll never let anything happen to you again. Shhhh. I love you, Peeta. You're safe." I can feel myself begin to relax, the tension washing off with every one of Katniss's caresses. After awhile of her holding me, I pull us back down onto the pillow and she curls up on my chest, her fingers making patterns over my bicep.
"I'm sorry I woke you," I mutter, ashamed. It's been awhile since I had one of those nightmares. But that was a bad one. I'm grateful I didn't go into a flashback when I woke up.
It's because of her. Because of my beloved wife, who holds me and reassures me of her love. Who whispers in my ear that everything will be alright and I believe her. She keeps me here with her and won't let me succumb to a flashback.
"Don't be. Do you want to talk about it?"
Normally I will talk about my nightmares. Dr. Aurelius taught us both that we should talk about our fears because it would make them easier to face. But this one I'm too ashamed to admit. I don't remember every detail of my torture and I'm actually fine with that. But I can remember that day. It was before the hijacking started, and Annie and I were sharing a cell. They were taking it out on Johanna and me the worst and Annie and I were forced to watch while a peacekeeper violated Johanna in the cell next to us. I prayed nothing like that would happen to Annie.
I never imagined it would happen to me.
I remember I blacked out from the pain. I have no idea what the man did to me, or if he just left me alone. When I awoke again, I was back in my cell and Annie was cowering in the corner, though when she saw I was awake, she moved toward me and stroked my brow. I didn't feel any different, so that means nothing happened…right?
I think the next day they started to show me videos of Katniss and I was so confused. Until the confusion turned to anger and anger turned to hatred.
I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair. Katniss's fingertip strokes my brow and I grab her hand to kiss her palm.
"Not tonight," I tell her. "Maybe someday but not tonight." She nods, not pressing me for more, and leans in to kiss me, and it's soft and sweet. She lays her head below my chin and I pull her even closer, reveling in her warmth and love.
I hear Willow crying and I gently disentangle myself from Katniss's arms before she can wake up. I started sleeping with my prosthetic on right after Willow was born and I'm glad I did; it makes it so much easier to quickly make it to my daughter to soothe her cries.
"Hey, hey," I say softly as I enter the nursery. Willow is standing in her crib, clutching the bars and wailing at the top of her lungs. "Shh, Daddy's here. What's wrong, my princess, why aren't you sleeping?" I pick her up and cradle her against my chest. Her cries subside as I hold her close, humming in her ear.
"Sorry, I only stick with humming. Your mama's the singer in the family. I hope you have her lovely voice, though it will mean I'll be chasing boys off the porch all the time." She sniffles and I continue to hum a little lullaby I've heard Katniss sing to her.
It's that damn hunter's tread that enables Katniss to sneak up on me and I jump when I feel her arms wrap around my waist. We slowly turn, and Katniss smiles at Willow before she kisses her.
Do not fear the sound of a breeze
Brushing leaves against the door.
Do not dread the murmuring seas,
Lonely waves washing the shore.
Sleep child mine, there's nothing here,
While in slumber at my breast,
Angels smiling, have no fear,
Holy angels guard your rest.
Katniss's voice washes over both daddy and daughter. I glance down and see that she has fallen asleep again and we very carefully lay her back in her crib. I wrap my arm around her waist and we watch our baby sleep for a moment before she pulls me back to the bedroom.
She's changed the sheets and set the box on the bedside table. The lid is off and I can see several other gifts, including a very realistic-looking phallic shape and a few brightly colored devices that I'm not too sure about.
She pulls me down to the bed with her and I curl up in her arms, already feeling sleep tug me back to the dream world.
Luckily, there are some good dreams and no nightmares. Katniss's arms banish any dark dreams that might have come after me.