Ch. 21-Forgiving and Forgetting
Bella's POV

After we heard them leave, Alice, Jasper and I headed back to the house. They went off on their own, and I went directly to find Carlisle to have a talk with him. I found him in Edward's room. We had had to move all of the things from his office in here, as it was the only sensible location to put it all. He was reading a book. Esme paced about the house, cleaning everything in sight as a way to soothe her anxiety, and this was Carlisle's. I knocked lightly on the open door as I walked in to alert him to my presence and he looked up, surprised to see me standing there. I guess I could tread much quieter as a vampire. "Come in, Bella," he said. "What's on your mind?"

I closed the door softly behind me as I walked in and sat down on the bed. "Carlisle, I don't know what's going on."

"Well, Bella, they have to follow procedure…they're only doing their job. I couldn't very well keep him here."

I waved my hand. "No, not that, I get that; I'm talking about my power or whatever it is that caused Jacob to suddenly cease his attack on Edward and phase back—the thing that let Edward and I read eachother's minds, and the thing that just caused me to see the same vision that Alice did."

He was speechless. "I've never heard of anything like that before. You say Edward heard your thoughts? What did he think of that? I know he's always longed for that to happen…" A smile appeared on his face.

"I don't know. He had to run back here because you were heading upstairs with Dr. Mutch, which is about the time I saw the vision with Alice…" I launched myself into the tale of my rather eventful afternoon. Carlisle listened to me attentively, absorbing every word. After I finished, he sat for a minute, staring rather intently at the carpet.

He looked up to meet my eyes and a smile broke out across his face. "That has to be about the most exciting hunting trip this family has ever heard of. Emmett will be furious that he missed it." I couldn't help it; I laughed.

"Now about your power…" My body tensed on the bed. "The only thing that I can think of is that as a human, you had about the best defense mechanism imaginable, so it couldn't really be amplified with your change, so it intensified in a different direction. It now works in an offensive manner, too. Not only do other vampires' powers not work on you, but you can now turn them around and use them as your own."

We sat in silence, letting it all sink in. "That is absolutely amazing," he whispered. "You definitely are special, Bella. And while we're on the topic… How much have you actually had to drink? You're a newborn, but certainly haven't ingested an adequate amount of blood to fit that profile."

"Um…I had a deer…"

"One deer?"

"Yes…" It sounded like a question.

"Remarkable. Now about this vision…"

"Uh, yeah… Well, I was freaking out when Edward ran off in a hurry and Alice picked me up and we both saw the vision, and she said that it was one of the strongest she's ever had." I said this all very quickly and without pause.

"What was the vision about?" He pressed.

I looked down sheepishly. I would've been blushing had I been human. "Edward and I were getting married." My voice was barely audible.

He wrapped his arms around me in a comforting congratulatory hug. "I knew it was only a matter of time. Congratulations, Bella."

"It hasn't happened yet…" I muttered. I might've acted meek about it, but my heart was soaring. I just couldn't believe this was happening… I had always wanted to marry Edward, and that had not changed with his absence.

"But it will!" Alice chirped. She danced into the room as she spoke.

"Anyway, when will he be back? I really need to talk to him…"

"As soon as he can get out safely. He knows you need him right now, and that's probably making it even harder for him to stay away, but don't worry, Bella; he'll be back."

I nodded my head, assuring myself that it was true more than acknowledging Alice's most recent statement.

"There's no reason for you to be upset right now, Bella. He won't leave again. I won't let him—none of us will. He made a mistake, but he paid for it dearly, and he learned from it. You didn't see him without you; he was a mess—completely empty. None of us want to see him go back to that."

I sniffled. "Thank you, Carlisle. I really needed that. But I think I had him beat in the "mess" department…you didn't see me without him." I paused, steeling myself against the onslaught of memories I was about to trigger. "Hecould have always come back; I had no idea where he was or how to find him. There was always that option for him; I didn't have it…I didn't have anything. He took everything with him when he left. Like I said, he had options…mine was ending the pain." My voice grew quiet towards the end of my little speech. I couldn't look either of them in the eye after admitting that. None of us spoke. I gathered up the courage to break my gaze away from the carpet and sneak a glance at them.

Alice had leaned against the wall to keep herself from collapsing and was staring off into space with a tortured expression in her eyes. Carlisle simply stood there with slumped shoulders and bowed his head with his eyes closed. I could see the agony clearly written across his face.

"Please, just forget I said anything. It's not like you didn't know before anyway." They ignored me. I guess I had just put it in perspective for them or something…

"I knew we shouldn't have listened to him." Alice whispered. "No wonder it's so hard for you to let him out of your sight…I'd be terrified, too. Always hoping that he'll come back…just hoping. How can you stand it Bella?" Her whispered thought process was now directed towards me.

"I trust him. I have to. I just have to believe that he'll come back to me."

I heard the door burst open, and Edward ran in. He gathered me up in his arms and buried his face in my hair. He pressed his hand to the back of my head and had the other wrapped all the way around me. I could hear him gasping for breath—breath that he didn't even need. "Bella, Bella, Bella…" He kept whispering it over and over in my ear. He gently rocked from side to side where we stood. "How can I possibly deserve you after all of this? How can you possibly still love me after all that I've done to you? Why haven't you ever told me any of this?"

Because I didn't want you to react like this. "How much did you hear?" I was evading his question.

"Enough."

"Enough for what?"

"Enough to know that I'll never leave your side again. You don't have to worry Bella; I'm yours—for all eternity. Never doubt my love for you. I can't stand to be away from you. Your hold over me is unbreakable. Your smile brings me to my knees. How can I possible gain your trust again after I have so carelessly shattered it?" The raw emotion in his voice would have brought tears to my eyes.

"You already have."

"How? What could I possibly have done to make up for my incredible mistake?"

"You came back."

A/N: I hope that wasn't too repetitive. I just felt that Edward wouldn't just accept that Bella forgave him for everything, and I also thought that Bella needed to say it again to reinforce it in her own mind. She is still terrified of him leaving, after all. Anyway, if you didn't like it, please tell me. And her power is explained! Do you all like it? Is it understandable? And please review!! I'll bribe you again…a sneak peak to any reviewer… (Does that even work?)