Love is Like A Baseball Bat
Chapter Twenty-One: The Beginning or The End?
"I don't know what's worse, the fact that they were both almost naked or the fact that it was on our living room couch!"
Miles directed a pointed look at Stella. "She's not our kid."
"Although it's starting to feel like she is one."
Okay, ouch. The sentiment behind the words were supposed to be nice but Helga didn't know that could sound like such a terrible thing. It felt like a kick to the stomach a little bit with Stella's venomous tone.
"I'm sorry, Helga-"
"No, don't you apologize!" Stella interrupted her husband.
Helga flinched at the level of Stella's voice. It was like the universe hated her. From getting dragged to the Shortman's house by a cop for skinny dipping to getting pink hair to this - getting caught almost completely naked in her boyfriend's living room - Helga was having a rough month.
Stella was still shocked, her face pale and eyes wide but angry. Miles looked embarrassed for his wife's reactions.
Arnold walked into the kitchen, now fully dressed. "Oh, hey, Helga. I didn't know you were here."
Miles lost his composure and burst into laughter. "Nice try, Short Man."
Helga pointed to the door, opening her mouth to speak. Instead of saying something, she shut her mouth and walked to the backdoor. It was silent for another moment as Helga opened it. She was still debating about saying something. Anything to make this situation better.
"It was nice to see you again Dr. and Dr. Shortman," Helga mumbled as she shut the door.
Arnold was confused. No one called his parents that, especially not his girlfriend who found them in the forest of San Lorenzo. Arnold pointed to his parents, "I'll be right back! Don't move!"
He chased Helga out the door. "Helga! Helga!" He finally caught up to her as she neared the front of his house, "What was that about? No one calls my parents 'doctor'! Not even their patients!"
Helga kept her eyes focused on the pavement, "It was nothing."
"You're clearly lying," Arnold picked her chin up to stare at her in the eyes. "Just tell me, did they yell at you? Because they still don't really understand the fact that you can't punish-"
"No. I wish they had though."
"What?"
Helga shook her head back and forth, "I just need to go for a while."
Arnold held onto Helga's arms, preventing her from leaving. "Please, just talk to me."
Stella and Miles both ran to the living room, carefully peering out from behind the television set to watch Arnold and Helga talk. They couldn't hear a word, they could only see the kid's profiles and any body movements.
Miles whispered, "It's weird how easy it is, right? The parenting, the constant worrying and need to protect him."
Miles knew Stella had never lost her motherly instincts, she had just been suppressing them in San Lorenzo, almost as if she was saving all her nurturing for Arnold. But he never expected the instincts to kick in as quickly or as harshly as they did. It was a little scary, these feelings reminding Miles of the times in San Lorenzo just after Arnold had been born. It was a constant panic. And now it returned through a new target - Arnold's girlfriend.
Stella nodded, eyes focusing intensely on her son's soft, concerned expression as he stared at his girlfriend. "We've only been back in his life for a few months. . ."
Miles slid closer to his wife, wrapping his arm over her shoulders, "Just because we missed his childhood, we feel obligated to make it up to him and treat him like we would have if he was younger. But he's not, Stella. He's almost nineteen and going to college soon."
Stella forced another nod. Her baby didn't need her anymore.
"But that doesn't mean he still won't need us. Sure, after this whole, uh, situation, he's going to have more problems. Mostly with us, though."
"I know. You're right, hon. I just can't help it, it still feels like he's a baby. He's a two-year-old in my mind."
"We need to move on from that mental set. He's an adult with a good education, a steady girlfriend, friends who care about him and the biggest heart. He knows when to ask for help and when to give it."
Arnold and Helga shared a quick hug and a goodbye kiss. Miles clearly saw his son whisper "I love you" into his girlfriend's ear.
Stella sighed contently, "Your parents did an amazing job with him."
Miles nodded, lips breaking into an uncontrollable grin. "Come on, we need to get back to the kitchen before he sees us!" The two sprinted back into the kitchen just in time.
Arnold sat down at the kitchen table, oblivious to his parent's slight panting. "She sounded heartbroken! What did you guys say?"
Miles was not taking the blame for this one. "Talk to your mother. I personally think it's great that you kids have an active sex life." Arnold shut his eyes and nodded slowly. It still freaked him out how casual his dad was with sex. "I mean, kids in San Lorenzo-"
Stella rolled her eyes, "Stop it, Miles."
"All right, I can see I'm not wanted." He held his hands up in defeat before fleeing the kitchen.
Arnold switched positions and reclined in the chair, resting all of his weight on the back legs. Stella sat down across from him, clutching onto an old coffee cup as she pursed her lips.
A moment of tense silence passed between them.
"I think you're too serious with her," she admitted quietly.
Arnold's feet returned to the floor, the bottom of the legs scraping against the kitchen tile. "What does that mean?"
Stella sighed, "You're both just so young, and-"
"Mom, the funny thing is. . .Helga's been in love with me since we were three. If she wasn't truly in love with me, she would've moved on years ago, don't you think?"
Stella pursed her lips, stunned to a momentary silence. "Wow."
Arnold smirked, "You're telling me."
H-A!-H-A!
Helga started walking home, still feeling conflicted about what their conversation had meant. Arnold had tried to be supportive, but Stella was his mother, and agreeing with her also made sense. And Helga had been getting Arnold into a lot of trouble lately.
Helga flipped out her cell phone and speed dialed Phoebe. "Hey, I hope you're not busy because I'm coming over."
"No, I was just starting our senior paper, but I can do it later."
Helga couldn't help but smile. Only Phoebe would start so early. "We have a few months left, Pheebs. It's only January."
"I know, I'd just like to get it done. Anyway, I'm glad you called, I need to talk-"
"Hold that thought," Helga smirked as she knocked on Phoebe's front door. Phoebe promptly hung up the phone and greeted her friend with a large hug at the door. Before Phoebe could even shut the door, Helga blurted, "Stella caught Arnold and I."
That caused Phoebe to freeze for a moment. Once she came to her senses, she shut the door completely and turned to Helga. "Doing what exactly?"
"You know what, Phoebe! Making out, hooking up, getting busy." Helga's voice rose after every word.
Phoebe's cheeks turned red, feeling her friend's embarrassement.
Helga began pacing in front of Phoebe's living room couch. Phoebe immediately took a seat and watched her friend walk back and forth. "It gets worse. I was only in my underwear and then when I tried to escape out the back door, both Miles and Stella were there. Miles almost started laughing and Stella looked angry beyond all reason. That was it. She hates me now."
"I doubt that Stella feels anything besides love for you Helga. You found her husband in the jungle and returned her son to them. I doubt that she hates you just because-" Phoebe sighed in defeat when she realized Helga was still talking. "And you're not even listening to me, are you?"
Helga added hand motions as she tried to talk her frustration out. "I bet she thinks I'm like corrupting Arnold! She probably hates that I've been around for years-"
"Before you get all Freud on this, Helga, you have to understand where Stella is coming from." Phoebe's serious tone made Helga stop moving. "Like any mother she wants to protect her child. Having sex at a young age can be bad for both the participants."
"Was Gerald's mom like this with you?"
A momentary pain sunk in Phoebe's chest before she shook her head. "No. Actually, Mr. Johannsen has a set of strict rules that we, uh, used to follow. We couldn't even close Gerald's bedroom door."
Helga never knew that. Huh.
She never really asked Phoebe about her and Gerald's sexual relationship. Helga figured they had sex before since Gerald and Phoebe had been together since fifth grade. That was longer than some marriages. Helga just never really asked because Phoebe did keep a lot of things to herself, and because it was Gerald. For the longest time Helga and Gerald never got along, and up until last year fought about everything. She did not want to know any intimate details about Tall Hair Boy.
Helga watched Phoebe shift uncomfortably against the couch.
Oh. My. God.
"You and Gerald did have sex, though, right?" Phoebe didn't respond. Instead she focused on her hands, her face burning hotter with each passing second. "Oh, my God! Phoebe! You and Gerald never had sex?" Helga covered her gaping mouth with her hand.
"No."
Helga's eyes went wide. "Is that why he broke up with you?"
Phoebe hesitated, clearly unsure. She finally answered, "No."
"Are you sure? Because guys are real assholes like that." Now Helga was back to moving, pacing back and forth with her fists clenched, "I swear to God-"
Phoebe jumped to her friend's side, "Helga, calm down. There's no need to get riled up."
Helga sighed in frustration and sat down on the couch. She wanted to kill Gerald, but it was 10:45 on a Sunday night and Helga had to deal with school work and what to do with her pink hair.
Suddenly, Helga got an idea.
"He still hasn't talked to you at all, right?" Phoebe shook her head. "Good, then I know just what we can do to really fuck with him."
"I'd really rather not, Helga. You have your evil plan face on right now and I don't like that one bit."
It was too late. Helga was already calling in reinforcements. "Rhonda, darling, I have a little favor I need you to do for me now. We need your expertise down at Phoebe's house in ten minutes."
If Gerald was going to be shallow, then Phoebe was just going to have to up the ante and show him what he was really missing.
H-A!-H-A!
"Helga, I'm not really comfortable with this." Phoebe took one last turn in front of her mirror.
It was seven on Monday morning. Both Rhonda and Helga had spent the night so they could make sure Phoebe followed through with their slightly crazy, but totally justified, plan.
Rhonda turned a curling iron in Helga's hair once again, glancing at Phoebe out of the corner of her eye. "You look amazing, Phoebe."
Phoebe ran her manicured fingers up and down her bare shoulders. "I don't know."
Helga smirked. She had never actually seen Phoebe's shoulders or thighs before. Even when they wore bathing suits, Phoebe always wore a cover up. Except now Phoebe was baring it all.
Rhonda removed the curling iron from Helga's bright pink locks. "I am amazed that you have a figure, Phoebe. We've been missing out on a show."
A blush spread across Phoebe's cheeks, "Uh. . .thank you, Rhonda?"
Rhonda turned her diamond studded watch over on her wrist, "We should get going. Helga, are you ready?"
Helga grinned, fluffing up her hair one last time. In order to down play the brightness of her hair, she wore a simple gray dress. "Let's do this."
The three girls piled into Rhonda's car and drove to school.
Sent 7:13 a.m. Helga: I need to talk to Gerald. Can you 2 meet me at the front of the school?
Sent 7:14 a.m. Arnold: Only if you promise not to kill him
Sent 7:14 a.m. Helga: I promise.
Rhonda parked the car just as Helga closed her cell phone. "And the bait is set. Phoebe, are you ready?"
"No!"
Rhonda and Helga shared a smile. "Alright, here we go." The two girls pulled Phoebe out of the car and marched towards the front of the school.
"This isn't going to work, girls," Phoebe muttered.
She was anxious and feeling awkward. She had never worn a black skirt this short before. She knew it broke the dress code, it had to be way shorter than 5 inches above the knee. And her shirt! It was sleeveless, for one, and tight. Rhonda said it was "tight in all the right places," whatever that meant. It also dipped a little lower than everything else she owned. Rhonda has also styled her dark hair so it feel loose and free around her face with a few curls. Phoebe was certain she would trip and fall in her heels. She'd never worn a pair more than three inches high!
Today, Phoebe felt like a different person.
"Good morning," Helga smiled and kissed Arnold quickly. Phoebe stood a few steps back. Rhonda smiled and hugged Phoebe goodbye before scurrying off to her locker.
Gerald glared at Helga, "Why did you need me here?"
Helga shrugged, "Just wanted to say hello, Tall Hair Boy." She turned around, "Come on, Phoebe! We don't wanna be late for AP English." Phoebe nodded and adjusted her backpack before following Helga up the steps. She told herself to walk with confidence and not make eye contact with her ex-boyfriend.
Both Arnold and Gerald stared at the petite Asian girl as she walked past.
Gerald had turned around and followed Phoebe with his eyes until she was lost in the crowd of students.
Arnold pointed at his friend, "Was that. . . ?"
Gerald massaged his temples, eyes squeezed shut. After a minute of tense silence he looked at Arnold, "Sometimes your girlfriend is a real bitch."
"Woah!" Arnold tried his hardest to keep a straight face because it was true. "Uncool, dude. . . .But I hope this doesn't change things for your surprise. I got everything set up last night."
"Shit, you're right! No, I, uh, I don't think this will change anything. I've got to go. See you in Spanish," And in the blink of an eye Gerald took off down the hallway.
Gerald's plan didn't actually come into effect until Friday afternoon, the first Friday in February and the Beginning of the End of Baseball. The school year was ending in May, just a mere three months, although it was even less with senior's AP exams and classes ending early.
The Beginning of the End, as Alex had put it, were the final months when the baseball playing seniors were put to the test. Colleges became even more focused on select students, scholarship offers were finalized, and everyone began to feel sentimental. Practices became more emotionally intense than ever for the seniors.
Diedrek would spend half of the practices yelling, the other half just sitting and admiring his team. He was impressed at how well the men turned out to be. Of course, he missed Helga. Her quick wit, no-nonsense attitude and curve ball always made practices interesting. He thought about Wolfgang and his first group of seniors who graduated. I'll have to e-mail those boys soon, Diedrek thought, maybe have a little reunion game before the summer's end.
That Friday, Helga had been told to go to Phoebe's immediately after school. She was curious as to why, but figured Gerald was going to apologize for being a selfish asshole.
All week he had been practically drooling over Phoebe, unable to even fully complete a sentence without messing up and embarrassing himself. A lot of other guys had taken notice too and Helga had been kept busy batting them off with the back of her hand. Phoebe's style change had kept Gerald's attention, which was part of the plan. But Phoebe felt badly about making Gerald "suffer" and decided to return to her normal, true self on Friday.
Gerald asked Phoebe to meet him at the boarding house because Arnold was "carpooling with him" from baseball. It had taken quite a bit of convincing on his part. Phoebe had laughed at him, "I've been on thousands of dates with you, Gerald."
"I just want this one," he had begged, "And then you can tell me how much you hate me." She laughed again - a soft, familiar sound that made his heart smile. He had missed that over the week.
But now, now he was standing on the stoop of the boarding house wearing his brother's suit. He felt ridiculous. But this was a ridiculous idea.
His heart stopped when she arrived. She was wearing the same thing she'd worn at school all day, her old blue skirt and the old cashmere sweater and her thick black glasses. He loved seeing her happy again, happy to be in her own skin.
"What am I doing here?" Phoebe asked quietly as Gerald hesitantly took her hand. The two made their way onto the roof of the Sunset Arms, only to become surrounded by candlelight and soft music.
"Wh. . . what is all of this?" Phoebe asked as a smile appeared on her face. A small table was set up to face the sunset over the river, a picnic basket resting in a chair.
Gerald smiled, "Phoebe Hyerdahl, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"
She shook her head, "I told you already-"
"You showed up here, didn't you?" Gerald's voice dropped to reflect his sadness, "But you don't have to stay if you don't want to."
Phoebe looked in each direction, considering her options. She could walk away from the love of her life, or she could try to listen to him and understand why things ended up this way.
Phoebe nodded, swallowing the lump in the back of her throat. She couldn't believe how nervous she was. She shouldn't be nervous, she spent more time with Gerald than was probably healthy. But. . .the pain. The love was still there, and yet the hurt still didn't fade.
"You really hurt me, Gerald," tears pooled in her eyes as she spoke.
Gerald felt his lungs collapse. He never wanted to hear that. He watched a tear gather in her eye. "I never meant to, Phoebe, you have to understand. You mean so much to me. I just wasn't thinking, I was angry and con-"
"Why did you say it if you didn't meant it?"
Gerald sighed. He had spent every night for the past week lying awake hating himself. He tried to think of what possible sane reason he had for ending things. And he couldn't come up with a single one. "I. . .I had been feeling so constricted by everyone and everything and I thought that by removing something I'd feel better. I can't exactly quit school or stop baseball or living with my parents. At the time, it seemed easy and smart to end things." Gerald laughed at his own stupidity. "But it wasn't. It fucked everything up even worse. I can't stand to think about how selfish I was being. I am beyond sorry for everything."
Phoebe nodded, taking in everything slowly, processing all of the new information he'd given her.
Her heart wanted to forgive him more than anything, but her mind was just reminded of the pain.
"I am literally down on my knees," Gerald did as he announced, "begging you to forgive me."
Phoebe smiled, eyes locking onto his. He was finally closer to her height and she found it easier to study his face. He still had a bit of orange clay smeared on his forehead and it looked like he hadn't had a full nights sleep in days. A small bead of sweat traveled from his hairline down to his chin before evaporating. A hopeful smile rested on his dark lips as his hands wrapped around her waist.
His forehead pressed against hers and she shut her eyes. "Please say you forgive me. I'm willing to start over, try everything again. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have you back."
Phoebe listened to the honesty in his voice. He truly meant it.
"No," she squeaked out.
"No?" He repeated, hands slipping from her sides. He felt as if the world was collapsing in on him. . .was he even sitting anymore or had he fallen back into the abyss of nothing?
"I don't want to start over. Starting over means forgetting all the little things no one else knows about you and why I love you. I know how you hate it when I tickle you-" her fingers slowly grazed up his neck and to a small pressure point behind his left ear. Gerald flinched, but smirked, "or how much you miss telling urban legends. Starting over means forgetting our first kiss-"
Gerald's confused expression broke into a smile as Phoebe spoke. He leaned forwards, arms returning to their waist-grip before excitedly rising to his feet, pulling Phoebe up off the ground with him.
Phoebe pulled back from the mid-air kiss, gasping from excitement and fear. She giggled, only to feel her laughs fall quiet when she realized a tear had rolled down Gerald's right cheek.
"I really missed you," he whispered before kissing her again.
H-A!-H-A!
Helga hadn't spent more than ten minutes in the boarding house since the incident.
Arnold was getting frustrated because he hardly ever got to see her or talk to her. So when Gerald had asked to use the boarding house roof, Arnold took that as the prime opportunity to get the hell out of the house and over to Helga's.
He rang the doorbell once and rocked on his heels waiting for her. He could hear her footsteps on the stairs.
He let out a low whistle when the door opened, "Do you always answer the door like that?"
Helga was standing in a white towel, holding it up with one hand, while her wet hair was tied up into a bun on top of her head. She smirked, "I knew you'd be coming over."
Arnold grinned mischeviously, "And you wanted to be ready for me to-"
Helga screamed and ran into her house, laughing as Arnold chased her up the stairs. She had to be faster than him, even though she knew baseball kept him in much better shape.
She had made it into her bedroom and quickly shut the door, hoping to stall him for a minute as she locked herself in her closet. She made herself half-presentable by quickly throwing on underwear and a bra. She held her breath as she heard her bedroom door open.
"Helga?"
Arnold checked around the room, only to lock his eyes on the closet. Helga had no idea where he was in the room, but continued to sit silently. He tip-toed over to the door, lightly twisting the handle.
It was locked.
"Helga, come on, I know you're in there. I promise I won't try to tickle you." Helga rolled her eyes and covered her mouth to hide her laugh. "I can't promise about anything else, but I swear, no tickling."
Cautiously, Helga unlocked the door and peered out into her bedroom. Arnold was sitting on her bed, holding her jeans and t-shirt in his hands.
"I'm thinking tonight we surprise your mom at the office. How does Mexican sound?"
Helga smiled, unable to help but feel touched that Arnold thought about taking care of her mother. But what else could she expect? Arnold was the world's most caring person.
"Sounds great, Football Head."
H-A!-H-A!
"Miram! Miriam, are you home yet?" Helga shouted upon entering her house. When she was greeted with silence, she pulled out her cell phone, struggling to juggle her backpack, phone and a white envelope. "Pick up, pick up- Hello?"
"Hey, honey. I was just about to call. Do you want me to cook or pic-"
"THE LETTER CAME!" Helga screamed excitedly.
Miriam flinched at the level of her daughter's voice, but smiled into the receiver. "Well, open it! I've been in suspense for months now!"
"Hold on," Helga replied as she tossed her backpack onto the stairs before falling beside it. She held the cell phone in between her ear and shoulder. "I've been waiting much longer!"
Anxiously, Helga's fingers slipped under the thin glued stripe. The envelope seemed to come apart in her shaking hands. Helga shut her eyes and took a deep breath before removing it from the envelope. She had heard that dozens of colleges switched to smaller envelopes, opposed to the large ones decorated with 'Congratulations', because it was better for the environment. Helga thought it was just to give everyone an equal opportunity to feel an unnecessary sense of hope.
The paper unfolded itself, but Helga kept her eyes shut. She counted her unsteady breaths up to five before opening her eyes. Her vision followed the flow of the black text on the page.
"I don't believe it," Helga felt the burn of tears begin behind her eyes as she told her mother the news.