Blahaha here is more! Thanks for the reviews :)
When Gabriel does turn up it's in hospital three days later.
"You should really go and visit him," Dean suggests but Castiel isn't having any of it.
They're sat in the school library during a free period.
It's raining.
"He deserves everything he gets."
"He's your brother Cas, you're bound to care about him."
Castiel exhales a shallow breath before speaking.
"Balthazar knows."
"About what?"
"The self-harming," he whispers, his hand raking through his black hair.
"How did he take it?"
"I haven't spoken to him about it."
"Is that really the best option?"
"I'm so angry with them Dean."
"I get it."
"You know, sometimes I think about what it would be like, one of them dying."
Dean shuffles forward in his chair.
"Gabriel isn't going to die, at least not yet."
"Maybe it would be for the best,"
"Don't say that Cas,"
"Fuck I need a smoke."
Dean ignores the statement.
"I'll come with you,"
"For a cigarette?"
"To the hospital."
"I told you, I'm not going,"
"You'll feel better."
"And what makes you think I want to feel better?"
"Whatever Cas, either way you're going to be pissy."
Castiel rolls his eyes once and then twice.
He leans across the table to close the gap between them.
"You could give me blow job." He whispers against Dean's freckled cheek.
He imagines Dean's eyes going wide at the suggestion even though they probably don't.
"How about we go to the hospital and then I blow you."
Castiel laughs a little, amazed at how one minute they're talking about his brother dying and the next about Dean sucking Castiel's cock.
"I won't be in the mood later on."
Dean's smile is a genuine one.
"I can't believe you're exploiting me like this."
"I thought you wanted to touch me?"
"I do, a lot."
"Good."
Castiel stands, his shirt riding up as he does so, revealing a slither of white flesh.
"You coming?"
He can tell Dean wants to make a snarky comment along the lines of 'you will be' but he wisely chooses not to voice it.
It's one of those libraries, with endless rows of books that nobody really uses but look all fancy.
Perfect for this sort of thing.
Castiel comes to a halt in a far corner.
"Here?" Dean asks incredulous.
"Well why not?"
He doesn't really care about getting caught and this is far more hygienic than the boys' bathrooms.
Dean shrugs, and Castiel's sure it's because he himself has received head in the school library before.
"On your knees," He quips and to be honest he doesn't really know what's gotten into himself.
It's Dean's turn to roll his eyes but he does as he's told.
Castiel can already feel his arousal building at the prospect of having Dean's mouth on him.
Dean's head levels with his belly button and Castiel feels slightly sorry for him because craning his neck is going to hurt like a bitch.
Dean doesn't know that though.
Castiel doesn't give him any help at all.
He likes to watch other people at work.
His jeans are a snug fit so he hasn't had to bother with a belt, which is a good thing because cold metal during a warm blow job is not something Castiel enjoys.
Dean adjusts himself on his knees before unhooking the button in one swift motion.
It only takes a little tug for the zipper to follow.
Castiel really admires how well Dean works with just one hand in use.
His jeans are pulled down enough to expose his semi hard dick to the dry air of the library.
Dean stares at it for a moment, Castiel's cock probably bigger than what he had in mind.
He gulps prettily before gripping at Castiel's exposed hip bone.
It's only a second later that his mouth follows suit, only it doesn't come into contact with his hipbone, but the tip of Castiel's penis.
He's not expecting much, given that this is the first time Dean's ever had another man's dick in his mouth.
But Dean is full of surprises and as he licks a hot stripe from head to base Castiel can tell this is probably going to be the most thorough blow job he's ever received in his life.
Dean finally closes his lips around him and sweet Jesus he almost comes with only half his dick wet.
He sucks the head hard and Castiel lets out a little yelp.
Dean looks up at him through his lashes innocently.
Castiel places his palms flat against the books behind him, he can feel the dust already gathering on his fingers but then Dean is taking more of him down and rubbing his tongue so delicately against Castiel's flesh that his eyes roll back into his head.
His erection comes into contact with the back of Dean's throat and he curses every God imaginable because of course Dean just happens not to have a gag reflex.
His cheeks hollow out as he keeps the tip there and sucks sharply for several seconds.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Castiel can't help but murmur as Dean's thumb rubs constant circles into his pelvis.
He pulls his mouth off of Castiel and inhales a deep breath before repeating the prior sucking action and the purposeful scrape of his pearly white teeth has Castiel coming with a groan before he can stop himself.
Dean pulls back a little surprised, come staining his chin and shirt.
He licks up what he can.
"You've done that before," Castiel breathes, trousers still around his thighs.
He can't believe he's just jizzed.
He'd be embarrassed if it hadn't of felt so good.
Dean uses the shelf behind him to get to his feet.
Castiel feels light headed, but reaches down to make himself decent.
"Was that okay?" Dean asks, but if his smirk is anything to go by he knows it was fucking amazing.
"Shut up," Castiel snaps, but he leans forward to kiss Dean painfully hard against his swollen lips.
"Hospital," Dean sighs.
And Castiel can't say no because Dean's lived up to his end of the bargain.
Xxxx
Gabriel hasn't suffered from alcohol poisoning.
He's been beaten to a pulp.
Three broken ribs.
Fractured jaw.
Broken collar bone.
Bruising.
Internal bleeding.
Castiel almost feels bad for him.
Dean stays in the waiting room.
Balthazar is already sat in one of the chairs by Gabriel's side.
He's unconscious, numerous tubes sticking out of him at all angles.
"Castiel," Balthazar greets, he looks red eyed and tired.
Gabriel has never looked so small, so broken.
Castiel can't help but feel that this is partially his fault.
"You should have been here," He blames Balthazar too.
"I know."
"Does this have something to do with the drugs, do you owe someone money?"
Balthazar's eyes narrow.
"You don't know do you?"
"What?"
"When they brought him in here, he was saying this was John Winchester's doing."
Castiel's gut drops and his mind drifts to Dean waiting down the hall.
John Winchester.
He doesn't want to be angry but he is, because now this is two people he cares about that John Winchester has hurt.
"I'll talk to Dean."
"Aren't you listening to me? I don't want you anywhere near that family."
"I'm not a child."
"No, but you are my brother and it is my responsibility to look after you."
"What about our brother who's lying in the hospital bed, why don't you try looking after him for once."
"Castiel," Balthazar sighs, but he knows it's pointless, because nothing is going to keep his youngest brother from Dean.
"Just stay with him okay?"
Balthazar nods.
Castiel casts his gaze upon Gabriel one last time and his heart actually aches.
"I haven't forgotten by the way," The blonde brother speaks "We still need to talk about what you showed me at some point."
The dark haired boy clenches his jaw tightly; it's an impending conversation for sure.
Xxxx
Castiel smokes three cigarettes at the hospital entrance, it's still raining but he's stopped caring.
Dean stands by his side, fiddling with his jacket; he's trying to quit the smokes again.
"How is he?"
Castiel throws the third cigarette stub into a forming puddle.
"Shit."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, it wasn't you who beat him bloody."
"Do they know who it was? Or at least why they did it?"
Castiel stares at the ground.
He has two options.
Lie and deal with the repercussions of this action later on, or be honest and risk the chance of losing Dean who is bound to be guilt ridden.
"No clue."
Gabriel's his brother but he's falling in love with Dean.
It's another family betrayal.
"Do you want me to walk you home?" Dean asks softly, his wet hair beginning to flatten.
Castiel shakes his head.
"You go if you need to."
"I don't want to leave you on your own."
"I'm a big boy Dean."
"Cas, come on."
"What?"
"You can talk to me."
"I don't want to talk about it Dean."
Talking always ends badly.
"Do something, anything."
"You know what I do," Castiel sighs.
He's referring to the cutting.
"Anything but that Cas, please."
Castiel can feel himself crumbling.
Dean picking away at the cracks.
"There's so much you don't know about me Dean."
"Then tell me."
"You won't understand."
"How can I if you don't let me in?"
And before he can open his mouth to speak Dean is kissing him.
Open mouthed kisses that hold promise.
I like you Cas, I like you a lot.
xxxx
Dean ends up talking the bus home.
Castiel prefers it that way.
He needs some time alone.
He's hungry and tired.
The house is quiet, but it's different, because he knows that neither brother is going to be home anytime soon in a foul state.
He eats some cereal but his taste buds are weak.
He showers under lukewarm water.
He tries sleeping but it's useless so he smokes the rest of his pack and thinks about Dean.
It's three am when the doorbell rings.
He rubs at his eyes as he pads his way down the stairs at a leisurely pace.
Balthazar can wait.
He unlocks the front door.
When it's pulled open he doesn't see his blonde brother.
It's a bruised Dean.
xxxx
They're both in Castiel's bed twenty minutes later.
Dean's eye a darkening purple.
"I don't think I can do it anymore Cas," Dean sighs, and Castiel wants to cry just looking at him, arm in a cast, face swollen.
"I know."
And really he does.
Castiel's throat contracts.
"My mother used to hurt me too," It comes out in a whisper but he needs to say it, let Dean know that he's not alone.
Dean doesn't say anything but his eyes are on Castiel's face.
"This is going to sound disgusting but I was actually happy when she died."
"It's okay Cas."
"The lake was frozen-"
And Castiel doesn't know if he should do this but he does.
"I had to defend myself."
He studies Dean's face, searching for something, anything.
"What do you mean?"
"I pushed her away, and she fell onto the ice."
He says it slowly but there's such clarity to it.
Dean swallows.
"It's not your fault."
It's not at all what he had been expecting.
"Yes it is," He sits up, he's confused by this.
"No, no it isn't."
"I didn't save her Dean," His voice is adamant.
"That doesn't matter Castiel."
"How can you say that? Why aren't you rejecting me?"
"Because I care aboutyou."
"I know but-"
Dean hushes him with a kiss, and then two more.
"You should get some sleep Cas."
"I can't-"
"Just try, for me?"
And he does because fuck it, he's in love with Dean.