"Does your own self-preservation mean so little to you that that's all you have to say? You could be killed. Whether you completely trust me or not, you have to know by now that I'm not your enemy. So help me out, here. Help me help you."—Kakashi Hatake

The Chunin Exams/Decisions.

The Chunin Exams just kind of showed up out of nowhere. I took my usual time getting ready that morning, figuring that Kakashi would be late... as he always was. I assumed it would just be an ordinary day, the students working on their missions while Kakashi buried himself in his erotic fantasy land and I sat around to watch the grass grow.

This was not the case.

When I exited my house and stepped onto the porch, Kakashi was already waiting for me outside.

"Is this some sort of special occasion?" I asked in a light-hearted tone, falling into step beside him.

"You could say that," Kakashi said coolly. "We're going to select nominations for the Chunin exams."

I'll be honest, I hadn't expected that. I hadn't even thought about the Chunin Exams at all. But, they happened twice a year, so I supposed it made sense that they would be coming up. Briefly, I thought back to my first entrance into those exams. Brutal things, they were. I didn't even pass the first time I tried to become a Chunin. They were not for the weak of heart. From what I remembered, they were very competitive, and often tended to get dangerous. Was Kakashi really thinking about nominating his students today?

I was forced to lurk in the back of the room, avoiding awkward looks, while Lord Hokage lined up each of the Jounin Sensei for selection. Standing in front were Asuma Sarutobi (Lord Hokage's son), Kurenai Yuhi, and of course, Kakashi. Those were the three sensei who had new Genin this year.

"Well, then," Lord Hokage said. "Do any of you have students you would like to nominate for the exams, despite their inexperience? You know that, as long as they have carried out at least eight missions, they are eligible. However, it is up to you to decide if they are ready. Most Genin need quite a bit more experience to truly be prepared. Anyway... Let's begin. Kakashi."

With a formal tone, Kakashi said, "I'm the head of Squad 7... Sasuke Uchiha. Naruto Uzumaki. Sakura Haruno. And I nominate all three of these Genin for the Chunin Exams."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. All three of them. A few months ago, Kakashi didn't even think they would ever be Shinobi, and now he was throwing them to the wolves. That man never ceased to baffle me.

"I lead Squad 8," Kurenai said. "Hinata Hyuuga. Kiba Inuzuka. Shino Aburame. I nominate all three of these Genin."

"I'm the leader of Squad 10," Asuma said. "Ino Yamanaka. Shikamaru Nara. Choji Akamichi. And I nominate all three of these Genin."

Well, these sensei are certainly in a hurry...

As the Shinobi behind them all began to stir with curiosity and disapproval, Iruka stood up. "Now, hang on! With all due respect, Lord Hokage. All of those Genin just named were my students at the academy. I know them, their skills, and abilities. They all have potential, but it's much too soon. They need more experience before they can be tested. If they try now, they're gonna fail!"

Wow. If Naruto heard Iruka say that, I imagined there would be hell to pay.

Kakashi turned around to face Iruka, his visible eye narrowed. "I was only six years old when I became a Chunin. That's six years younger than Naruto is now."

"Naruto isn't like you!" Iruka exploded. "Are you trying to destroy him?"

"Well, they always complain about not being challenged enough," Kakashi offered quietly. "Maybe if they wipe out on the exam, it will teach them a lesson. A little pain every once in a while is a good thing."

Iruka gritted his teeth.

"Relax, Iruka," Kakashi said condescendingly. "I understand that this is very personal for you, and it upsets, you... However-"

"Okay, that's enough, Kakashi," Kurenai said.

"On the contrary," Kakashi disagreed. "This is something Iruka needs to hear. He needs to understand that they are no longer his students. They're mine." As he finished off that sentence, it was clear that he meant to criticize Iruka in the worst possible way, to cut him down and force him into compliance. Kakashi's posture erect, his expression stoic, his voice dripping authority. All those years in the Anbu Black Ops must have taught him how to be intimidating.

Still, Iruka, with the brave heart he had, refused to back down. "But-"

"Iruka," the Hokage cut in, silencing him. "You've made your point. I understand. Taking this into consideration, I've decided that we will hold a preliminary exam to see which students are ready for this challenge."

Preliminary exam?

I'd never heard of such a thing. But perhaps it was a good idea. A preliminary test would be far less grueling than the actual test, and it would weed out the ones who weren't ready. Still...

As Kakashi and I headed out to meet with Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura, I asked him the question that had been on my mind since we left. "Are you really sure they're ready for this?"

"No," Kakashi answered plainly with a straight face.

I stared at him, aghast. That was not the reply I'd expected at all. "But... you acted so confident while we were in there. Actually, you bordered on aggressive."

He laughed sheepishly, with a completely different tone than the one he used inside. It was interesting to count his different tempers as I observed them. He had many as I'd come to realize, but he rarely showed most of them. "Did I, really? Sorry about that... I suppose I was a bit... irritated."

I waited for him to continue, and he let out a sigh. "Not that I have anything against Iruka. He's a great guy. But... well, let's just say I got a little possessive when he tried to tell me that he knew my students better than I did."

"Well, they were his students once," I reminded him.

"I know that," he admitted. "But like I said, they're mine, now. And I had to make that clear."

I smiled. "And now you don't even know if they have a chance in the exams."

"Well, if I didn't believe they had a chance, I wouldn't have recommended them," he said. "Despite their inexperience, they were amazing during the mission in the Land of Waves. And because of it, they now have more experience than most new Genin. Eh... they're tough kids. It may not always seem that way, but when it comes down to it... I think each of them could do it if they really set their minds to it. It's up to them to decide if they want to try it or not."

As always, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were waiting when we arrived. And both of us received some very angry glares. "Sorry, everyone," Kakashi said playfully. "I'm afraid Kanata and I got lost on the path of life."

"Liar!" Naruto and Sakura accused.

"You, too, Kanata?" Naruto asked. "You know, the fact that you both showed up late together is making me even more suspicious."

I hated to think about what kind of scenarios he had come up with in his head.

"Sorry," I said passively. "This was important."

Before Naruto had a chance to ask any questions, Kakashi pulled the Chunin Exam application forms out of his pocket. "I recommended the three of you for the Chunin Exams. These are the application forms. It's just voluntary—up to each of you. If you don't feel like you're ready, you can wait until next time."

"Yeah! You rock, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed, lunging himself at Kakashi and hanging by his fingers around Kakashi's neck.

In mild disgust, Kakashi pushed him off. "Don't slobber on me, Naruto!" Then he handed Naruto a form. "Whoever wants to participate in the exam, sign the application and report to room 301 at the academy. It's at 3 p.m., five days from now. That's all for today. Kanata, let's go."

We left our eager students behind, and I realized that the rest of our day was completely free. No missions, no meetings, whatever. We could just hang out and do whatever we wanted. And because Kakashi and I had actually been spending more of our free time together lately, enjoying the afternoon with him like a normal person sounded oddly appealing.

I glanced down at my watch. Already, it was about noon time. And that meant that it was about time for lunch. Come to think of it, I hadn't eaten much breakfast this morning. A steaming hot bowl of ramen sounded delicious, right about now.

"Hey, Kakashi," I said.

"Hm?" was his only response as he stared at a page of his book.

Seriously? How many times has he read that thing, anyway?

I did my best to ignore it and asked, "You know what would make me happy, right now?"

"What's that?" he asked.

"A bowl of ramen."

"Really?" Although that was his reply, it was several seconds before he actually seemed to realize what I was saying. His eye flickered toward me from his book. "Let me guess. I'm paying."

I smiled sweetly. "Well... uh... you don't have to. But it would taste better if you were paying for it."

"To you, maybe," he said with a sigh, closing his book again. "Come on. Let's go."

We wandered over to Ichiraku Ramen, where I ordered a sizable bowl for myself. Once again, Kakashi refrained from ordering anything.

Interesting fact. I'd never in my entire life seen Kakashi eat a meal. A part of me wondered if maybe he was some kind of mutant who just never had to eat anything. Even when we were kids, any time we all ate together, he never took one single bite. I imagined that he had to eat some time... even if it was just when he was on his own. I don't know. It was just a weird thing that probably had something to do with the mask on his face. Just for clarification, I knew that there was nothing wrong with his face... because I'd seen it before. But that was a story for a different time.

Anyway... Kakashi and I both sat in silence while I ate, and of course, I thanked him for being so generous as to pay for my meal. He certainly seemed to be doing that a lot lately. But, even though he sometimes sighed in disappointment or let a negative comment slip out, he never truly seemed to mind. In fact, a few times he had even offered. When I ate a meal that he bought me, he always seemed rather content, as if he was just glad I that I was eating. Or, perhaps that part was just my imagination.

"Kakashi-sensei," a voice called.

Both of us turned, and to my surprise, the voice belonged to none other than the academy instructor Iruka Umino. Just a while ago he'd been arguing with Kakashi over their students in Lord Hokage's headquarters. What could he have possibly wanted now?

"Iruka," Kakashi greeted in a friendly tone. "What's up?"

Iruka straightened his shoulders, as if in an effort to muster up some courage. And then he bowed his head. "I would like permission to test your students."

Kakashi's eye widened a little. "Test my students?"

"Yes," Iruka nodded. "Without their knowledge, of course. I would like to test them myself in order to decide if they're ready to take on the exams. If they can pass, I'll... take back what I said to you earlier."

Kakashi folded his across his chest. I could tell that he was hesitant. Part of it, I knew, was just his own pride getting in the way. "I got a bit possessive when he tried to tell me he knew my students better than I did." Kakashi was always so modest, nowadays... I almost forgot how he could be when someone challenged him. When he was complimented, he was humble and appreciative. So rarely did he ever acknowledge his own abilities and strengths. Yet, he still had a bit of a competitive streak. The only difference was that, now, he was aware that he wasn't always going to win.

"If it'll satisfy you," Kakashi finally relented. "If they pass, I hope you'll have some peace of mind. And if they don't... I'll admit that I was wrong about them being ready and that you were right."

Rather honorable, Kakashi.

Iruka smiled. "Okay, thank you, Kakashi-sensei." Right before turning around and taking his leave, he glanced at me briefly and nodded. But the look on his face seemed almost nervous and unsure, and I could tell he was unsettled by my presence. I paid it no mind and went back to eating.

"That was nice of you," I said to Kakashi. "Letting Iruka test them."

"If that's what he needs, more power to him," Kakashi said with a shrug.

"What if they can't pass?" I asked.

"Well, then I guess I'll just have to admit that they weren't ready after all," he said. "But I think they'll do fine."

I nodded in agreement as I gathered up some noodles in my chopsticks.

After I finished eating, the two of us headed over to the book shop together. When I walked inside I sighed in satisfaction, enjoying the feeling of being surrounded by so many books. Placing my hands on my hips, I glanced around, and then tilted my head toward Kakashi.

"Hey, can I pick out something for you?" I asked.

He looked at me in surprise, a look which gradually turned to mild suspicion. "Why?"

"Well, one," I began, pointing at Make Out Paradise, "I want to get you hooked on something different for a change. And two, I'd like to buy you a gift for paying for my ramen all the time." With a big smile, I gazed up at him expectantly, batting my eyelashes just a little, until he rolled his eye. But I knew the gesture meant he decided to humor me.

"Okay, fine," he said. "But it better be something worth reading."

"Oh, it will be," I said, already starting down the aisle looking for suitable reading material.

I spent over twenty minutes roaming down the aisles looking for a book. It didn't have to be anything serious—just for kicks. To be honest, I wasn't even sure what motivated me to do this. I guess I just thought it would be a fun way to pass the time and tease Kakashi a little bit. I had to have a little fun every once in a while, right?

Eventually, I came across a book that caught my eye. I pulled it off the shelf quickly, and as I flipped through the pages, I found myself grinning at my tiny goldmine. Snapping it shut, I ran to the checkout line, although not before stopping and grabbing one other book I saw beforehand.

After I finished, I headed over to Kakashi, who was slowly browsing the adult fiction section. "Ah, did you find something?" he asked, sounding only remotely curious.

I nodded. "Actually, I got two." After I pulled the two books out and showed them to him, Kakashi took one look at them and sweatdropped.

"1,000 Fun Activities to Do with Your Rivals and Guide to Winning a Vampire's Heart…?"

"Yep," I said. Holding up the first one, I continued, "I figured you could use this one to keep things fresh with Guy… I mean, if you wanted. I actually just thought it was funny. You should take a look, there's some good stuff in here. And this one… well, you seem to like romance novels. And in any case, I figured it was meant to be because this guy on the cover looks kinda like you."

Kakashi blinked, staring at the cover of Guide to Winning a Vampire's Heart. "Um… I don't see it. Also, I don't have fangs."

"No, I was talking about the—ugh, nevermind." I rolled my eyes and stuck the books back in the bag. "Here you go," I said, handing him the bag and falling into step with him on the way out.

"I have to say," Kakashi said, "You certainly have interesting taste."

"I was thinking of you!" I exclaimed. "And I hope you'll at least give them a shot. They look interesting."

Slinging the bag over his shoulder in a tired motion, he replied, "I promise I'll give them a shot. It was nice of you to buy them for me."

I found myself smiling, but this time I looked away. Suddenly, I couldn't help feeling a just a little bashful. It was nice, just being able to talk and enjoy myself with someone like this. I didn't know if it was real for him, but somewhere along the line, it seemed that it had become real to me. Even with everything at stake—knowing that it couldn't be like this forever, I found myself wishing quite often now that it could.

"I think I'm gonna go to the training area and get a little exercise before it starts getting dark," he said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "You wanna come?"

I tried my best to pretend I wasn't surprised that he invited me to come along, and hid it behind a smile and a nod. "Yeah, sure. I'd like that."

No one was at the training area when we got there, which meant that we had the whole place to ourselves. And that was perfectly fine with me. I wasn't a huge fan of having people in my space when I exercised or did any training. It tended to be distracting. At least there weren't any Anbu watching me closely right now. I noticed that more often than not they kept their distance when Kakashi was around.

I put down my little bag and did a couple of quick stretches. "So what do you usually do?" I asked.

He glanced around, as if checking for something in particular. But if that was the case, he didn't say so. He simply shrugged. "Whatever. I just do this to stay in shape. Build endurance. Sometimes Guy comes with me." Then, looking down the field, he asked, "Do you want to run a few laps around the perimeter?"

I reached down to touch my toes and then hurried over beside him. "Okay, let's do it."

And so we began. Personally I was a fan of running, as long as someone wasn't chasing me. It was great exercise and it didn't take much, if any, chakra to do it. However, a few minutes in, when Kakashi had at least several meters of distance on me, he slowed down until he was running next to me. "You know, you're slower than I remember," he said, his breaths heavy from the impact.

I shot a glare at him. "Really? Well, excuse me. I was just warming up."

"Really?" he repeated, and for a second I thought I saw a twinkle in his eye. "All right, then. Race me to the other side."

"Right now?"

"Yeah. Right now."

With a frown, I set my gaze dead ahead. Way to back me into a corner. I knew I'd never beat him. But I certainly wasn't about to back down from a challenge.

I sighed. "Okay. Let's go."

Now I knew Kakashi was smiling. "All right. Get ready… set… go!"

Kakashi and I both shot off down the field at the exact same time, trees blurring past us. I put all the speed I could muster into that moment, letting my feet just lightly graze the earth as I moved forward. It had been a while since I had to run this fast, but something about it felt both thrilling and empowering. It was almost enough to sway the disappointment when Kakashi finished several seconds ahead of me.

I came to a semi-gradual halt, leaning forward and resting my palms against my thighs. "Damn," I breathed, gasping for air after my sprint. "You're fast."

Kakashi, who was also out of breath at the moment, said, "On the other hand—I take back what I said. You aren't too bad."

"Well, I've spent a lot of time practicing," I said, straightening my posture and then stretching my back.

"So what about a few weeks ago?" he asked, and I paused to glance at him.

"What?"

"When you fought with Zabuza? You were a lot faster. Just out of curiosity."

"Oh, that," I said with a laugh. "No, I can't do that all the time. It's something I kind of learned to do now and again, but it takes a lot of chakra." I bit my lip, trying to think of a way to explain it effectively. "It's like… I can sort of slow down the flow of time. Kind of like slowing down blood flow, but on a bigger scale. Or at least, that's the only thing I can think to compare it to."

He raised an eyebrow. Then, with a nod, he said, "That's—impressive. You should practice with that, you know. You'd probably be unstoppable."

I chuckled again. "Right. Yeah, then all I need is super strength and we're golden."

"It's not really about strength," he said. All of the sudden, he was in front of me, and I quickly had to pull out a kunai to stop his in mid-air. "It's about who's the smarter fighter," he added, lingering with his kunai against mine for a few seconds before putting it away. And when he did, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest from the adrenaline.

The corner of my mouth turned up and I lowered my kunai as well. "Funny… someone else I knew used to say that, too."

"Oh? And who was that?"

"My sensei," I muttered.

There was a short pause. Kakashi turned away and then said, "The one you were with while you were gone. You haven't mentioned much about him."

I shrugged. "Well… there's not really a lot to mention, I guess." We're on dangerous territory now. "He's dead so I try not to think about it too much."

"Right," Kakashi said. His tone was thoughtful, almost only half in the conversation. Something on his mind had him distracted.

I hesitated. "Something wrong?"

He shook his head. "No… I'm just—wondering what the point of all this is. Your real agenda."

I could have sworn my heart stopped. He was confronting me about this now? All of the sudden, without warning? I had to admit he caught me unprepared this time.

"Um… what do you mean?" I asked.

He shrugged. "All I'm saying is, abandoning your village is a serious offense. I guess I'm surprised you would be honest about that."

With only slight hesitation, I said, "Well—would there have been a point? I didn't really—think a different story would be believed—even if—I had an incentive to lie about it." The word "lie" came off my tongue, and all of the sudden I felt the need to wash my mouth with soap. It left behind a wretched taste.

"So you really did leave the village?" he asked, his eye narrowing as he only half turned in my direction. "You just took off?"

My throat felt dry. I remembered Kakashi telling me on the Land of Waves mission that he could tell when I was lying. Not to mention this subject just felt exceedingly uncomfortable. I knew what he was doing. This wasn't just conversation anymore. He didn't say it outright, but it was obvious enough. This had crossed the line into an interrogation.

I folded my arms across my chest, refusing to play his game. "Yes, I left. How many more times do I need to say it?" Then, more softly, I added, "Look, you want to know why I admitted I left? I was hoping the Hokage would take into account my quiet profile for the last ten years and let me off with an official exile. That's the truth. I have no grudge or—ill will toward anyone here, all right? I just want to get out of here peacefully. But go on. If you want to tell me what an awful person I am, just get it over with."

Studying my eyes closely, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and sighed. "That's not what I had in mind. Listen… believe it or not, I've had fun with you today, but I can't push my job to the side forever. You wanted to be let off the hook? Well, not a bad strategy, I admit, but it's not going to work anymore. Despite your claims, evidence that you actually abandoned the Leaf Village is minimal at best and Lord Hokage doesn't believe it."

Right. I figured as much at this point.

"Okay…" I said slowly. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"Well, I would say given the circumstances you need to tell him that leaving the village was a lie. And fast."

I frowned. "And if I don't?"

Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Do you really want to go there? I don't know the specifics right now, but it doesn't look promising for you."

I scoffed. "Right. Well… I'm sorry, Kakashi, but I don't know what to tell you. Everything I've said has been all I can say. But all I have to go on is my word."

Kakashi's sudden darkened expression caught me off-guard. He stepped forward. "Really? Does your own self-preservation mean so little to you that that's all you have to say? You could be killed. Whether you completely trust me or not, you have to know by now that I'm not your enemy. So help me out, here. Help me help you."

In that moment I couldn't look at him. I couldn't tell whether his words were sincere or if he was just trying to manipulate me out of the dark, but either way falling for the bait was out of the question. I knew that what he said before was true. If I didn't come forward, my life would be over. The problem was that if I told the truth, my life might be over anyway. Perhaps if I could come up with something else that was feasible and that made enough sense, the Hokage would take it. But was I willing to feed these people more lies to cover up my first one?

A trembling sorrow rushed over me and I shook my head, trying to push it away just as I tried to convey meaning to Kakashi. "I'm sorry… I just—I think I need more time."

But even as I grabbed my bag and headed toward the path that would lead me out of this place, I knew that was one thing I had no right to ask for.