A/N: SM owns all things Twilight.

A big over the moon hug, kisses and thanks go to twimom1960, who is so special to me. She keeps me sane and talks me off the ledge each time. She is so special to me. The momma bear.

Also to SunflowerFran and her dutiful red pen for making my words sing. Couldn't do it without you and I'm honored to call you my friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRAN! (This is for you.:))

Chapter 20

EPOV

It's quiet here. So quiet that I can hear myself think. The only sounds are the water gently lapping at the shore and, somewhere in the distance the faint horn of a ship passing.

Taking a drag on the cigarette, I squeeze my phone in my palm until my knuckles turn white. This little offending object has given me nothing but bad news in the past twenty-four hours. Feeling the burn of the nicotine in my lungs as I exhale, I draw my arm back and throw the phone as hard and fast as I can into the water.

"What did it do to you?" Bella's soft teasing voice asks from behind me.

I watch as she sits down beside me, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She leans her cheek on her pulled up knees and looks at me with those eyes … The ones that have haunted me for so long.

"It gave me bad news." I take a final drag from the cigarette and stick the butt into the sand.

Her eyes follow me, curious. "When did you start?"

Exhaling the last of the smoke, I take a swig of the water I brought with me, "About six months ago."

She nods.

"It helps, you know? With the stress and the anxiety."

There's no judgment in her eyes as she nods again. "Okay."

Silence ensues for a few minutes and I keep thinking of how nice it is that we're both here. She hasn't thrown me out yet and that gives me hope.

Hope for us.

I nod towards the water. "Dad called a little over an hour ago."

Her eyebrows quirk upward.

"Apparently, my mother had my whole life planned out for me just to save her own skin."

I rub the back of my neck and she takes my hand gently into hers, linking our fingers and squeezing gently. I smile and squeeze hers back, scooting just a little closer to her.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to."

I nod, running my other hand through my hair. "I want you to know. She cheated on Dad when they were engaged and even after they were married."

Rage ripples in my veins.

"I defended her all those years ago when the thing with Tanya happened, but this, this is worse. Dad didn't cheat back then, but she did. God, this makes me sick."

I extract my hand from hers and yank on my hair. "Her brilliant idea was that I would fall in love with her friend's daughter just to keep her dirty secret. Who does that?"

I hear Bella's sharp intake of air and snap my eyes to hers. They're sad, but don't waver from mine. "It was her last chance to break us apart. She just can't accept that I love you and would never leave you ... willingly."

Tears shimmer in her eyes and I scoot closer again until my thigh rests against hers. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I lean my forehead against her temple. "Believe that."

She nods and fists my shirt in her hands, burying her face into my neck. She's so fragile and yet so strong. Thinking back on all those months of not remembering her catch up to me, and I cling to her tighter.

She's still here.

She draws back first, too soon for me, but I let her. The soft pass of her fingers caresses my stubble covered cheeks and over my eyes. She's so gentle that it takes my breath away. I don't know how she does it.

"How is your father handling all this?"

My hands rub over her back and I lean my forehead against hers. I don't want to lose the contact with her just yet. "He's pissed."

"Understandable." She leans back, "Didn't you talk to your dad yesterday?"

I fiddle with a loose strand of her hair. It's so soft, just like she is. "Yes, he called when he left the house, but at the time, you needed me..."

Her intake of breath is shaky and her fingers tighten in my shirt.

"I told him to call me back." I chuckle, hoping to break the heavy tension, "I didn't think it would be at 4 am."

The sadness in her eyes breaks my heart when she asks the next question. "Why didn't you contact me when you got back?"

It's quiet and her words flow away with the lapping waves.

Now it's my turn to inhale sharply. "I have no good excuse for that, Baby, I don't. I could have, but I didn't. When I got off the plane, the first thing I had to do was give my statement regarding the Senator's case. That took a few days."

She starts to draw away, but I tighten my grip and plead with her to understand. "It's lame, but I honestly didn't want you to see me having my nightmares again. Trust me; it's not something you wish to see.

Ever.

Afterward, I went to talk to a shrink … Your dad's orders. He made me promise that if I wanted to see you again, be with you, that I had to have something to show for it. He was right, I wasn't in my right frame of mind to talk to you, be with you at that time. I couldn't subject you to that pain again."

I stroke her cheek, hoping that it made sense, "After all that was done, I resigned from the FBI."

She gasps, "What? Why?"

I look to the dark ocean, gathering my thoughts before answering, "I used to love it." I look back to her, "Used to, being the key phrase. It was all I had, all I knew. However, knowing what I know now, it just didn't feel right to go back."

"But you love catching bad guys."

I smile at her choice of words. "I did, but I love you more and I know the strain it would put on our relationship if I continued in that line of work."

"Edward, please, don't do this for me. Someday you're going to regret that decision."

I cradle her face between my palms and wipe away a lone tear that rolls down her cheek. "I'm not. I'm doing this for myself and for us. We've been through so much and it's time for a fresh start. I want us to start over, whether it's here or somewhere else. I want to be able to give you, us, the undivided attention we need. I want to give you a life where you don't have to live with worry and fear each day, not knowing if I'll come home."

Her hiccups ring loud through the quiet of the early morning. "Edward..."

I place my lips over hers, caressing the softness. "Shhh, it's okay, I've got you.

Always."

Her tears seep into my shirt. My heart breaks all over again for the pain she has endured and I feel my own tears running down my cheeks.

'If you truly love someone, you'll put their needs ahead of yours.'

That tidbit of wisdom has been my motto the last month. I finally grasped the meaning of it. I would do anything to make my sweet girl happy. I'd go to hell and back just to show her that I love her.

"I love you."

Those words are a whisper into the stillness and my heart stops for a beat.

My breath halts in my lungs and I freeze.

My hands stop their movements on her back and I blink.

Once.

Twice.

Did I hear that correctly?

Did she just say...?

Bella draws back, her tear-stained face red and yet so beautiful. "I love you."

It's a whisper again, but I hear it. I saw her lips move. She did say it out loud.

I stare at her for a bit too long and her face starts to fall into disappointment.

"God, I love you," I rasp out before fusing my lips to hers.

Home.

I am home.

Her flannel covered arms wrap around my neck, her fingers pressing into my scalp and her small gasp turns into a moan that makes a particular part of my anatomy stand at attention.

Groaning, I kiss her lips slowly.

She's so tempting and after so many months of being deprived of her, it's nearly impossible to resist. It also doesn't help that I think about our time together before my memory loss.

With my lips pressed to hers, I open my eyes to look into hers. It's a silent conversation of love and devotion.

This is not the end - it's a beginning.

I brush her hair away from her cheek, my fingers coming in contact with her hearing aid. Slowly, I turn her head to the side and kiss along her cheek, to her ear. She shivers in my arms and I smile.

"Will you tell me about it?"

She looks at me puzzled.

"The procedure; what it was like for you?"

She nods and shivers again. This time I know it's from the cool ocean breeze. The sun is starting to rise and it's casting reflections across the water. It's beautiful, but nothing could be more beautiful than the woman sitting beside me already is. The water is reflected in her eyes and with the sun's glow, her hair shines reddish brown.

Standing, I help her up and lean down to kiss her again. No words are needed. With our lips touching and our eyes connected, we converse in the most intimate way.

"Get a room!"

Horrified, Bella breaks away and hides her flaming face against my chest. I glare at the teenager that yelled at us.

Fucker doesn't understand.

With a kiss to her hair, we walk back to her house with her snuggled into my side.

She begins to talk, her eyes on the sand. "Your father did all kind of tests. I couldn't tell you the names of all of them. I don't speak 'doctor.'"

A small laugh escapes her and she looks up, her smile fading fast and her eyes far away. "He did everything right. I had no complaints, he was wonderful and I am so indebted to him, but I just couldn't see him anymore. He reminded me too much of you."

My intake of air is sharp and my eyes squeeze shut. "Bella..."

Her hand on my cheek causes me to open my eyes, "Don't, I know you're sorry, but it was out of your control."

She gets it.

I nod and she continues, "He set me up with Dr. Gerandy after I told him my concerns. He understood, of course. He's your father, after all. You two are so much alike."

She smiles softly, pushes me down into a chair and starts to make coffee. I take a moment to watch her, her movements. How they have changed since she got her hearing back. She used to look at me or the people around her, every few seconds, but now her head tilts slightly as if she's eavesdropping.

I smirk and tap my finger lightly on the table. Her head tilts a little more and her eyebrows scrunch in concentration. "No more eavesdropping on conversations now?"

A smile appears on her lips and a light blush covers her cheeks. "I can't lie about that. It was a part of me for most of my life and I have grown dependent on it. Sometimes when people talk a little too quietly for me to understand, I still read lips and I think I always will."

She's amazing and I silently pray that she's still mine.

I get up from my chair and brush her hair aside, exposing her hearing aid. Lightly, I run my finger over it, tracing the patterns.

"You're incredible, you know that?" It's a whisper, but it's close to her ear that I know she heard me.

She bites her lip and her hand trembles slightly as she pours the coffee grinds into the coffee maker. "I wouldn't know about that."

I shake my head, my hair brushing against her cheek, my lips against her ear and I whisper, "You are. You knew the risks going into this and you still did it. That's bravery and that alone is amazing."

She shudders and slumps against me, pressing the start button to the coffee maker. "You're distracting me," she whispers, her tone husky and very seductive to my ears.

I bite my lip, trying not to moan into her ear. I would love nothing more than to strip her clothes and get to know her body all over again. To show her my love for her, but I don't want to push. She's more important than that.

Stroking her cheek, I turn her head to look into her eyes. She has to know and believe this. "Bella … No matter what, hearing or no hearing, I will love you. You have to know that. I fell in love with you for the woman you are."

Again, tear shimmer in her eyes and she nods slowly. "I believe you."

That's all I need to hear.

My lips press against hers and I push her body against the counter. Tracing my tongue against her lip, she opens up with a throaty moan as her hands wrap around my neck and her fingers bury themselves in my hair.

Her tongue strokes mine and I'm lost. With a groan, I grab her hips and hoist her on top of the counter, spreading her legs and pressing myself against the heat that radiates from her center.

Lust.

Want.

Love.

It all swirls together as my hands roam across her hips and up to her chest, brushing my thumbs over her cloth-covered nipples. Her moan vibrates through me and I push my erection against her causing her to push back.

Needing to breathe, I kiss down her jaw and across her cheek, listening to her rapid breathing and feeling her heartbeat beneath my lips.

I suckle her neck, hoping to God to leave my mark on her when she grunts in frustration and yanks my lips back to hers. With her legs wrapped around me, we start a steady rhythm of pushing and pulling, tongue and lips.

My hands are underneath her shirt, caressing the smooth skin of her back when a loud beeping noise causes me to freeze and my eyes to fly open only to find her wide eyes staring back at me.

Our lips separate, our breathing heavy, when she starts to giggle. It's carefree and the most beautiful sound coming from her lips that I join her.

"If I didn't love my coffee, I would have thrown that thing out for ruining that ... that..."

I smirk and wink at her. "That fuck-awesome make-out session we just had?"

She bites her lip, her blush reappearing and her hips buck against mine. "Yeah. That."

It's sultry and sexy, making me groan. "Fuck."

"Isn't that the point?"

I grasp her thighs and push my straining shaft against her heat. "Dammit, woman, you're killing me."

She giggles and again I'm drawn in by the sound of her laughter. Her eyes are bright and her entire posture relaxed.

Gently unwrapping her legs from my waist, I kiss her pouting lips once more. She hops off the counter and goes to get something from the fridge, bending over and pushing up her ass.

'Fuck. She is trying to kill me.'

"Um, Bella? Is it okay if I use your shower? I haven't showered and ..."

"Yeah, sure, go ahead." She says with a slight smirk when she straightens. "Towels are in the hall closet and there's an extra toothbrush in the cabinet."

I freeze, "Extra toothbrush?"

She clears her throat and looks down to the peppers in her hand. "Yeah. I ... I always kind of had ... hope."

With a few strides, I'm kissing her again until she's breathless. "I love you."

She smiles and pushes at my chest, "Love you too. Now go shower, you stink."

I smell my armpits and wrinkle my face in horror, making her laugh. That laugh follows me upstairs into the bathroom and the smile on my lips doesn't fade.

-x-x-x

I stand with my head bent forward and eyes closed under the stream, letting the warm water massage my scalp and shoulders. In a sense, I'm washing away the past months and starting fresh.

With Bella.

I groan and fist my shaft as the memory of her wrapped around my waist plays through my mind. I had wanted nothing more than to strip her and have my wicked way with her, but in a way, I was thankful that the coffee maker spoiled the moment. This, whatever we would have from now on, was more to me. I wanted her to know and believe that.

I startle and spin around when her warm hand comes in contact with my shoulder.

She's naked.

No clothes, nothing.

I'm staring, I know I am, but I don't care.

Creamy skin and subtle curves that I've felt beneath my fingers. She's biting her lip, her eyes on my hand that's still wrapped around my very hard, very erect cock.

Her eyes meet mine, pupils dilated and she places her hand over mine.

I groan. "Bella."

She shakes her head and steps forward, her breasts meeting my chest. I want to close my eyes and just feel, but I can't. I can't risk it being just my imagination.

"Please don't," she whispers, her eyes looking between my mouth and eyes. "Don't deny me now, please. I have missed you so long; longed for you so long. I need you now."

I have no words, so I kiss her, pushing my fingers into her hair as her chest presses against mine. I hear the pain in her voice, the rippling agony in her soul.

Blindly, I shut off the water and grab a towel, wrapping it around her. Her confused eyes follow me, and she gasps when I sit her down on the vanity, spreading the towel and moving in between her legs.

I take her hearing aid and press it into her palm. "Put it on, please."

She does this without saying a word.

I lean in close to her ear and caress the inside of her thighs with my hands. "I want you to hear what I do to you. I want you to hear the promises, that I'll show you with my body."

I look into her hooded eyes and flick my tongue across her lips lightly. "I want you to hear us."

Water dribbles from my hair onto her heated cheeks as she unwraps the towel from her waist and rubs it through my hair in a loving gesture. I take it from her and dry myself before hanging it sloppily over the hook.

With her legs wrapped around my waist and her wet heat pressed against my aching shaft, I carry her to her bedroom and lay her down.

She shivers and I pull the duvet over us, creating our own little bubble. She runs her hand across my stubble, down my neck and across the scars and tattoos. Her touch is slow and soft as she takes her time.

"I love these," Her eyes snap to mine, "Not that I love what you went through, not at all, but the fact that it's a testament that you're still here. They tell your story and I love that."

My laugh shakes both of us and I kiss her lips. "I love you too." I start to kiss down her jaw and cheek. I want to take my time getting to know her body again.

"Edward?"

I look up from the swell of her breast where I've begun to leave my mark. "Yes?"

Her breathing is erratic and I haven't even actually begun.

"Don't torture me."

"I wasn't planning on it; I just want to love you."

She pushes me up and to my knees, sitting up herself. "I know, but I need you. Please."

How can I resist that?

With her legs on either side of me, I run my hands up her thighs and spread her a little wider. She's wet and glistening.

Holy Fuck!

I run my finger across her wetness and she moans, squirming against my hand. When I push my finger in, she gasps and grabs my arm, her eyes wide and on mine. When I add another finger, it's my turn to groan and thrust my hips forward when I feel her squeeze around them.

"Bella, I need ... I need..." I can't even form coherent sentences.

Taking her with me, I sit in the middle of her bed and plant her legs on either side of mine. I need her to be in control.

I can't.

I squeeze my eyes shut when I feel her right there. All it would take would be one push and I'd be inside her.

Her fingers run across my closed lids and I open them slowly. She looks concerned. "You're shaking, Edward."

I nod and ball my hands into fists against her hips. "You're here. I'm just trying to wrap my head around that."

Her lips are soft against mine and slowly I start to relax. I spread my hands over her backside and push up just a smidge. The tip goes inside and she stills, gasping.

"I can't, I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt you." Even I can hear the agony in my voice.

"Shhhh," she whispers against my lips and sinks down onto me, letting out a long moan.

"Fuck!" It's out before I can stop it.

I grip her hips, holding her in place.

It's tight, wet and oh so warm.

Mine.

"Wow."

She describes it best.

I nod against her collarbone, groaning when she shifts.

"Show me," she whispers against my cheek, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of my neck.

Lifting my head, I look into her eyes, "I can't hurt you. Not again."

I want to move, so badly. I want to go all animalistic caveman on her...

She kisses me, her tongue stroking mine and I feel her clench around me. I grip her hips and push up, making her moan.

"You won't." It's breathless and so erotic. "I want you, just you. Show me."

I nod, my resolve to be gentle and letting her lead gone.

Shifting to my knees, I lay her down gently and pull her knees over my hip, keeping it there with my hand as I pull out slowly and push back in with a groan.

"Oh," she gasps and bites her lip. Her breasts move with us and I am drawn to them, sucking and licking each one as I speed up my movements.

"Yes ... Oh God ..." Her orgasm is fast approaching, I can feel her flutter around me.

"Fuck," I groan against her lips. "You feel so fucking amazing."

I run my thumb across her nipple and flick it slightly before taking her hand in mine and pushing them into the mattress as her finger tangle between mine, and squeeze.

Her other leg wraps around me, the sounds of our lovemaking vibrating through the room coupled with our breathing and moans.

I slow down, stroking in and out gently, reveling in the feel of her. Her soft skin, her petal soft lips and the way she fits so perfectly around me.

It's heaven.

"You hear that?" I ask in a breathless whisper, sweat forming on my brow and every muscle in me protesting against the slow movement.

Her eyes are wide and slightly damp. "Yes! Oh, Edward. I can hear it; I can hear you, all of it." She moans and yanks me by my neck to her lips.

It's all teeth and tongue.

I speed up, pushing my pelvis against hers, swallowing her whimpers.

Breathless, I suck her nipple back into my mouth and she shatters. Like a vice, she clenches and releases me, torturing me so beautifully.

Her teeth sink into my shoulder and I'm a goner. With a loud 'Fuck,' I thrust into her a few times before spilling inside. Her legs hold me tight against her as we try to catch our breaths. My forehead is against hers and I watch a tear spill down her cheek.

"Bella?"

She shakes her head and bites her trembling lip. "No," she whimpers quietly. "Happy tears, okay?"

I nod, feeling helpless and kiss down her temple, across her cheek until I'm kissing her lips. I kiss her until her whimpers are gone.

She smiles as she caresses my cheek and under my eyes.

"I am home."

It's a quiet whisper, swallowed up by the four walls around me, but I heard it. It sinks into my bones, my heart and into my soul and my breath hitches.

"I thought I was too late," I whisper. "I thought that all those months would have sent you over the edge, making you despise me."

She shakes her head and I put my finger to her lips to stop her. "I know now that you are the most exquisite woman I have ever known and will ever know. Bella, I love you so much that I have no words to describe my feelings."

Her tears run down her temple and seep into the pillow. "Edward, you must know that I feel the same."

I nod and kiss her again, gently extracting myself from her despite her groans of frustration. I kiss her once more and urge her to stand.

Drawing her body close to mine, I cup her backside. "Trust me, I'm not nearly finished with you, but I think I heard your stomach growl."

She blushes and I laugh. "Come on, stinker. Let's go shower and feed my stomach as it seems to be growling at you."

She tries to scowl at me, but it only makes me laugh more and I hoist her over my shoulder, much to her protests and jog to the bathroom.

After a much-needed shower and some groping, we head downstairs to eat. As she's making omelets, I have my arms around her, kissing her neck and shoulders.

"Edward," she whines. "I can't work when you distract me like that."

I chuckle and nibble on her ear, "I know."

She huffs and pushes me back until my ass lands in a chair. "Sit and be good, otherwise no omelet for you."

My smile turns into a frown, making her laugh.

This weekend was off to a wonderful start and I hope that it only will get better. We had cleared most of the unknown air between us, leaving only minor details that we'd work through together.

Together.

I smile and draw her onto my lap, kissing her delicious lips until she's straddling me. With her legs wrapped around me, I feed her between kisses as she does to me. I make her sit as I wash the dishes, which turns into another grope fest on her side as she pinches my ass, giggling the entire time while I squirm.

With soapy hands, I grab her ass and sit her down on the counter, pushing myself between her legs and smearing soap foam all over her chest.

She gasps in horror as I admire my artwork. "Edward!"

"What? It's art."

She laughs and scoops up bubbles from the sink, running her hands down my neck, chest and cupping me, leaving soap everywhere.

I step back and look down on myself, scowling playfully. "See what you did? Now I'm all dirty."

I yank my shirt over my head and fling it across the floor. With a moan and hungry eyes, she attacks me. With soap all around us, we fuck on her kitchen counter.

It's hot.

It's fast.

And so fucking erotic.

As I'm putting on my jeans and she's pulling my T-shirt over her head, the doorbell rings.

We stare at each other with wide eyes. "Were you expecting someone?"

She shakes her head. "No, my weekend plans consisted of working."

The doorbell rings again. Scrambling over the mess on the floor, she heads towards the door, me close on her heels.

Whoever the fuck it is, is ruining my weekend.

Bella opens the door.

"Mom?"

A/N: Reviews are love :)

Thank you guys for your continued support and your thoughts on this story. It means so much to me. Until next time. :)