So I bet everyone's pretty sad to not have seen anyone else post in two whole weeks. And I bet if more readers supported with reviews, we'd see more stories posted. oh well, as Angela says, life goes on. thanks to all of you who read and story alert and favorite. things are going to get worse for some of our characters before they get better, but i hope you'll continue to hang in.

Chapter twentyone

"Until very recently, I lived in this house with my family," Angela thinks to herself as she walks down the hall to the bathroom and hears not a sound coming from Patti's room. It seems like the number of people in the house is getting smaller every day.

"Mom" she says, opening the door carefully and peeking in "Camille's going to be here in forty five minutes, okay?"

"Mom?" she says again after a second and walks up to the side of the bed, feeling uncomfortable.

"Hi honey." Patti opens her eyes and blinks.

"How are you?" Angela asks cautiously, taking in the sight of her mother lying on her side, looking small and extremely vulnerable.

"I'm okay, honey...just really tired for some reason."

She stretches and tries to smile, but doesn't quite manage it. "I'll be up in a minute" she says.

Angela walks downstairs knowing that her mother isn't really okay at all. She starts the coffee, something she'd ask her father to show her how to do last night, pours herself some juice, puts a piece of bread in the toaster, and sinks down into the kitchen nook concerned about her mother and wondering what the day will bring.

Upstairs Patti puts her feet on the floor and manages to stand up. But she only makes it one step, and then she's leaning up against the bedroom wall, sobbing silently, remembering just how horribly wrong everything is, and she's still standing there, unable to move, when Angela comes back in with a cup of coffee for her.

#****#***#

"I'm going home after school, Camille." Angela says firmly, as they pull up to the front steps of Liberty High. "We aren't staying at your house, and we don't need Grandma at ours. Mom and Danielle need to be at home, and I can take care of them. Dad can bring food. We'll be fine."

She leans forward from the back seat, kisses her mother on the cheek and steps out of the car with Sharon. "See you later mom" she tells a quietly crying Patti "Thanks for everything" she tells Camille "I'll call you at work later to see what Dr. Peterson says."

Marching up the steps after her brave speech, with a silent Sharon by her side, Angela feels her insides shake. Telling Camille what she's going to do as she exits the car doesn't count for much beyond a gesture if Patti decides they should all stay at the Cherski's, or to let her grandmother come stay with them, but Angela knows that either of those decisions would be a disaster.

"My mom made a big mistake asking my dad to leave" she says, blinking back the tears, as they walk into the deserted hallway. Getting a sobbing Patti dressed and into the car had made everyone late, and they had missed the bus they'd planned to take from Angela's house.

"My mom says the same thing." Sharon says "because they both really love each other."

Angela looks at the hall floor and they walk a few steps in silence.

"And if she falls apart over this" she says stopping in mid step and looking at Sharon, "moving us out of the house or bringing in my grandmother will make it even worse...I just know it will."

"Maybe the doctor will know what to do...there are supposedly drugs for this stuff, you know?"

"I don't know" she says, thinking out loud, "I don't think this is about a, you know, medical condition...I think this is about my mom being out of control. How she can't like, handle that."

"My mom says it's about having her heart broken."

"Yeah. That too I guess."

She walks into the attendance office with Sharon wondering what in the world she's doing there today.

#0o0#***

"Rayanne, you have to try out" Ricky tells her, grabbing her arm and pulling her into the bathroom "I mean it's West Side Story...come on..love, betrayal, jealousy, drama...I'm probably even going to have to try out...I'm like the perfect color for it."

"Oh, love betrayal, jealousy drama, that's all so everyday, don't you think? I mean we've got all of that at Angela's house right now" she says with a disgruntled look. "It's not really so nice in real life, you know."

"How's she doing?" Ricky asks.

"She's hurting...but she's Angela, right?.. and her dad closed the kitchen early last night and left work all concerned, to like, go visit and take food. She's not going to fall apart."

"She wasn't at her locker this morning." Ricky says

"Cherski didn't show either" Rayanne says "they're probably together."

"They'll probably wander in here any minute. But about the play again..." he looks at her imploringly, "you seriously do have to be in it. We all have to be in it...it's a musical."

"Maybe you have to be in it" she tells him "cause you'll look good in a purple shirt and you can dance too, but really, don't you think it's kind of an old chestnut of a play? "

"Not as old as the saying "old chestnut" Ricky tells her, looking miffed, "Our Town was a much older chestnut, for that matter. And you can sing you know"

"I don't know" she says, looking worried "I can't dance and you do remember the last time I sang on stage...or rather didn't sing on a stage, how like, successful that was."

"That was a non rehearsed, doomed to explode mess. Time to get back up on the pony in a nice organized high school production. Come on. And the dance scenes are going to be "quite, uh, modified" according to Mr. Katimsky" Ricky tells her, imitating the teachers voice.

"They'll need me at the restaurant" She leans against the wall and crosses her arms.

"It's temporary Rayanne" he says looking into the mirror and raising his eyebrows at her.

"Yeah, so is life, so is everything."

"We are trying out for this, Rayanne, and that's the royal we, by the way."

She stands there, staring back at him in the mirror and wondering if she really does want to try out for West Side Story, when the door opens and Angela walks in.

"Hey you" Rayanne looks at her, taking in the teary face "how's it going?"

"Not good" Angela catches Ricky's sympathetic look and reaches over for his hand "my mom couldn't stop crying again this morning" she tells them looking down at the bathroom floor, "I had to stand there and hand her clothes to put on."

"Oh, Angela" Ricky says helplessly, and swings her hand while Rayanne stands there looking grim.

"Camille's taking her to the doctor, right?" she says, scowling, digging in her bag furiously and coming up with a hairbrush.

"Yeah"

"Do you want to stay here today? I mean in school?" Rayanne says, offering the only solace she can come up with at the moment, while she attacks her hair, "Cause maybe we should just leave, you know, pull Tino out of bed and go somewhere together, blow everything off for the day."

"No, I'd better stay" Angela says quietly "in case they need to find me or something. But thanks, you know?"

Rayanne shrugs and for a minute no one say anything

"So I do have like, other news." Ricky says reluctantly, after a pause. "Ms. Krazynowski called me into the office yesterday to tell me there's an opening coming up at that place, you know, Pride House."

He almost hadn't wanted to talk about it, not because he doesn't want them to know, but more because he still doesn't know what to make of it, how he feels about it. Last night when he'd told Paul and Mr. Katimsky, Paul had gotten all choked up, Ricky had nearly cried and Mr. Katimsky had just sat there blinking and saying "really, are you, um, sure." And then there's the whole Frank Repniki aspect of this as well, which has him alternately excited and totally confused.

"What?" Angela says.

"Yeah, so I guess I could be moving in there soon or something."

"And you're just mentioning this now?" Rayanne says hitting him in the arm with her hairbrush. "You go on and on about West Side Story but don't bother to tell me you're moving to Pride House?"

"What about West Side Story?" Angela says looking puzzled.

"New school play" Rayanne says and hits Ricky with her hairbrush again "So when are you moving and how does this all happen, and can we hang out there with you or is it no girls allowed?"

"Stop with the hitting, okay? I'm moving in a few weeks maybe, when the room is ready, after my paperwork goes through and I don't know if girls are allowed or not. I was there yesterday after school and didn't see any."

"So what's it like?" Angela asks in a concerned voice "do you think it'll be all right?"

"I think it's probably a good place" Ricky says, not quite looking at them, "People seem nice. Frank Repniki gave me a ride there and back...he's been coaching there for three years now and he thinks it's a good place, so..."

"Oh, that was casual" Rayanne says sarcastically.

"Wow" says Angela.

"Yeah" He looks at them a little sheepishly "so maybe I'll like, become athletic or something, huh?"

"Or something, I'm guessing" Rayanne says, and he's glad that she isn't making a big deal out of it right now.

"Ricky, this is like, fated, I think" Angela says, leaning back against the wall and crossing her arms.

"Please don't encourage him" Rayanne says "I personally don't have a great feeling about this."

"Look, it's nothing, okay" Ricky tells them "it's a couple of brief conversations, all right? And while the two of you are busy making it into something else, could you at least keep it quiet, as in don't say anything in front of anyone, especially Sharon, or else the whole football team will know I have a stupid, like, crush and decide to kill me or something, okay?"

"Rayanne, he's right." Angela says seriously.

"Duh." she says, twirling her hair around her finger and looking worried.

"Okay then" Angela says as the bell rings "I'm going to class..." she looks at Ricky "do you think you could maybe come over after school today?" she asks, "I think it will just really help right now, if there's someone there with me...especially with Danielle."

Ricky leans over and kisses her on the cheek.

"Sure" he says "but where's Jordan these days?"

"Oh God...that's a whole other story" she shakes her head "I'll tell you later."

Rayanne pushes the door open just as people begin pouring in.

"Oh, uh, Angela, I almost forgot" Ricky tells her as they squeeze together to try to make their way out of the bathroom. He drops his voice and almost whispers "When I was filling out those forms, I like couldn't say I'd been staying with Mr. Katimsky and Paul, so I put I'd been staying with you. Do you think Patti will be okay with saying that, just in case they like, check?"

"Yeah, of course. She's said before that she worries about them getting in trouble. She'll be fine with it."

"Made it" Rayanne says, and the three of them give a collective sigh of relief as they finish pushing their way out into the hallway and head towards the lockers.

0o0o0o***0o0o0o0o

Jordan opens his eyes, blinks, remembers Angela's father walking in the door last night, groans and wraps his arms down around his head. "Talk about traumatic," he thinks. That was the word Angela had used as she'd walked him out to his car, while he was still so befuddled he couldn't say a thing. If he never has to see Graham again in his life that will be too soon for him.

He's more than embarrassed by the fact that his first response had been absolute terror, and that he's pretty sure Angela knows it, and that's actually kind of funny because usually it's Angela who gets embarrassed. But this time, while he'd sat there dumbly, like a deer caught in the headlights, she'd managed to zip her jeans, pull him up off the couch and walk him out the front door and down the steps. By the time they were outside at his car and it seemed pretty sure that her dad wasn't going to come after him and try to kill him, he'd been able to shake himself out of it and kiss her cheek.

"I'm really sorry" he'd managed to croak out.

"Don't be" she'd whispered back "it's not like, your fault or anything."

But it was. He'd known somehow that he should stay away from her right now, that it was the right thing to do, that there was some kind of jinx thing going on with him and what he really needed to do was lie low. But then he'd felt so kind of cheered up after sitting at the dinner table with Corey's family and playing guitar for an hour after, that when he left there he'd been inspired to stop and pick up all the school assignments from Brian. And then, standing outside her house in the dark and really wanting to see her, he'd given in and knocked on the door. He had seriously just wanted to see her for a minute, but once she'd started kissing him and tugging him inside, his brain had stopped at how good she felt and how bad he wanted her, and the next thing he knew he was sitting on the couch undoing her zipper and her father had walked in.

"I don't think I'm going to get in trouble right now" she'd told him outside, standing by the car "there's like too much other stuff going on, and my dad's not like that anyhow."

He'd pulled her tight to his chest for a minute and muttered that he'd talk to her tomorrow. But as he drove away he'd felt really shitty that he'd pulled her into his bad luck, that he couldn't knock on her front door without it turning into trouble.

It's probably better, he thinks, if he just stays away until this whole suspension is over and the court thing is done, and maybe by then, he tells himself, things might be okay again.

0o0o0o0o******0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So Dr. Peterson said she sees signs of a major depression, but doesn't want to put her on Prozac right away" Camille says, looking into her coffee cup, instead of at Graham, as they sit in Ondine's deserted dining room. "She gave her some sedatives and told her to stay home from work this week and sleep as much as she can, to get some rest."

"So she's alone in the house right now?" he asks, with a worried look on his face.

"She was asleep when I left." Camille tells him "I have to get in to work. I think it's okay for her to be alone until Angela gets home from school."

Graham takes a deep breath and tries to shake the image of a sobbing Patti out of his mind. Of course he's seen his wife cry, a million times, but not like Camille has described. He can't really believe this is Patti they're talking about.

"How could she fall apart like this?" he wonders out loud "I've never seen her do anything like this, not in all these years."

"I always thought she was the tough one" Camille agrees "but not now."

"I wanted her to come stay with us, but she said no." she continues "Her mother's offered to stay with her, and she's said no to that too."

"Well, that would have definitely taken her over the deep end" Graham says with a sneer. "It's kind of ridiculous that I can't go home and take care of my family."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before Halle's blouse came off" Camille tells him with a dark look.

"Sorry" she says, after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"It's okay" he says miserably "I know this is about how I messed up...one stupid minute that changed everything."

He also knows that it wasn't just that one stupid moment, that a lot of other almost stupid moments had led to that one, that kissing Halle in the kitchen was an accident that had been waiting and wanting to happen for a while, that getting caught had never been part of the equation, and that it wasn't the moment that had been stupid, it had been him.

"Sometimes life turns on a dime." Camille looks at him thoughtfully, "But it's past now, the stupid moment and the time for blaming you too. That's something I decided after Andy's heart attack. It's all about now. That's all we've got."

"So what do I do for Patti now? And for the girls?" He fiddles with the silverware, incredibly frustrated "Camille, can you imagine how it feels for me, to not be living with my family, to have to discuss my wife and kids with you, to not be able to do anything for them?"

"It must be horrible" Camille says "but right now I'm more concerned about getting Patti through this. And there are definitely things you can do. Like give Tom a call at the press, help him figure something out. Keep the girls fed. Let Patti know you love her. "

When she gets up to go he walks her out through the kitchen to the parking lot and hugs her, and then, just as she closes her car door, Halle's car pulls up.

"Graham?"

Camille's window rolls down, and her head sticks out.

He looks at her, waiting to hear what she's going to say.

"I'd keep some distance there." she tells him, and then the window is back up, and she's driving away.

#**#**#

Rayanne signs her name on the tryout sheet posted outside Katimsky's room, stands back and crosses her fingers.

"So, good luck" she hears Corey Helfrick say, coming up behind her.

"Yeah, thanks" she says, a little embarrassed as she turns to face him "Ricky really wanted to try out, you know, and he like begged me to sign up too, so..."

"Yeah, he mentioned it" Corey says "in drama club, which you never come to, by the way. He says you have a great singing voice."

"You go to drama club?" she says, laughing at him.

"Sometimes" he smiles back, good naturedly "I'll be working on sets again for this, so yeah."

"And Mona Austin will be working wardrobe again, I guess. That's convenient."

There's a decidedly snarky tone to her voice, and Corey looks at her in confusion.

"What's Mona got to do with anything?"

Well, that certainly wasn't what she'd wanted to say, or how she would have wanted to say it, Rayanne thinks.

"I don't know" she says, trying to shrug it off "I guess I just remember her from the last play." But she really does want to know, so she adds "And I've seen you with her lately, like, a few times."

"We're friendly...we have some classes together." he looks at her seriously "there's nothing happening there."

"Not that it's any of my business of course" she says a little tersely but meaning it and wondering why she actually gets something like nervous around him now.

"Of course" he says seriously, but when she looks at him he's smiling, and because it's the kind of smile she used to see, back when he used to look at her all the time, she suddenly feels just incredibly happy and smiles back at him.

The two of them stand there for a second, looking at each other, smiling and not saying a thing, and then there's the sound of the bell.

"Okay" she says, still smiling "so, later."

"Sure, in drama club maybe...or on the boards, huh?" he says, starting to walk away, but keeping his body turned so he can still look at her.

"I haven't even tried out yet" she says, laughing as she watches him walk backwards and bump into people.

"You'll be there" he says, and finally turns around. He grins to himself and walks toward his class under the definite impression that Rayanne Graff likes him, and even though exactly what he thinks about that is yet to be determined, how he feels about that is pretty much just happy.

Rayanne, on the other hand, walks down the hall in the opposite direction with the exact same impression. It's finally sunk in that she really does like Corey Helfrick, but she knows immediately that she thinks that pretty much sucks. How she feels about it, on the other hand, is veering madly right now between very pleasantly giddy and absolutely terrified.

0o0o0o****o0o0o0o0

"I really don't um, think we should be in here" he says as the door closes behind them.

"We can say we were investigating the hot water aparatus for research purposes" she says, pulling him down the stairs and into a corner "seeing how it generates so much warmth."

She leans up against him and looks up mischieviously.

"Really Janet" Brian says, torn between the physical sensations that are taking place in his body and the knowledge that they could get in a lot of trouble if they got caught "I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Well, you come up with a better one then" she says and puts her arms around his neck. "I mean you spent the night in here with someone once, so I just wanted to see what it was all about."

"That was like, outside of school hours" Brian tells her, feeling more and more confused "and I already told you that was an accident and nothing happened."

"I just would like to be kissed in the boiler room." she tells him. "By you."

"Oh well" he thinks, and throws caution to the winds.

"I guess, you know, as long as it's the interests of um, research" he says.

"Generation of warmth" she repeats herself, and locks her lips onto his.