The return journey to Skyhold went as one would expect. They made good time, arriving back in Skyhold- everyone more or less in tact. The wounded were taken to the infirmary to finish their recovery, then everyone else scattered to take up their usual duties after resting a bit.

Athewen had been avoiding Cullen, more because she needed time to process things and she wanted to give him the same. When they arrived back in Skyhold, she gave the reins for Mithari to a stable hand then stopped by the Templar tower and dropped off some supplies before she made her way up to her room. She gathered a few things, found one of the lieutenants to inform them she'd be stepping out of the keep for a while, then made her way out of the main gate and passed their soldiers as she headed towards the nearby spring.

Cullen had been avoiding Athewen as well, but unintentionally so as he sorted through everything she had said and how it made him feel. He had ridden at the head of the army, with William and the others, and aided the men in unloading the gear and supplies before going to his room to change. After awhile, he rejoined the others but noticed Athewen heading back out the main gate with a pack shouldered. Concerned, he hurried after her.

Athewen made her way down the road, passed the tail end of their forces, and turned towards the woods where the spring was located. Finally, the bustle of Skyhold had faded into the distance and the quiet of the woods that made her feel so at home sank in around her. She set her things at the base of a nearby tree, then slid out of her clothes and her boots. She stepped down to the spring and started washing out her clothes, hanging them to dry on the lowest hanging branch of the tree. After hanging her clothes to dry, she waded out towards the center of the large pool that sat at the base of the spring itself. She dipped under the surface of the water, letting its coolness wash over her. When she resurfaced, she sighed, looking up at the sky as the late hours of day began to quickly fade into dusk.

"What was I thinking..?" she wondered aloud. "How can things go back to how they were..?"

"Athie?"

Athewen looked up from where she was near the edge of the water, seeing Cullen come out from the trees. "Cullen, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back at the keep with the others?"

"Never mind that," Cullen said, coming to stand in front of her as she stood. "Are you alright?"

Athewen nodded, looking away as she sighed. "I'm fine, Cullen, you didn't need to come all the way out here."

"Bullshit, Athie. Something is clearly bothering you."

Athewen just shook her head and turned towards her things. "Just leave it alone, Cullen."

"Athie..." Cullen didn't care that she was half naked- dressed only in her underclothes- and came up behind her, placing one hand on her hip and the other on her shoulder. "You know that won't stop me from worrying. Please, tell me?"

Athewen shook her head and stepped away from him, pulling on her clothes and her boots. "Let's just get back before someone sends out a search party."

Cullen walked next to Athewen in silence, unsure of what to say or how to get her to talk to him. They walked back to the city, greeting those they passed by once they reached the courtyard. Cullen was called away by some of the soldiers on business and he wanted to tell them to wait, but Athewen insisted that he go on ahead and see to whatever it was. He watched her head straight for her room and his heart sank.

When Athewen and Cullen parted ways, she headed straight for her room. A nice dip in the spring was what she needed, but there was still just too much on her mind. She tossed her things on the nearest chair and locked the door once she had made it back home, changed into a nightgown and slid under the covers.

'Did I make a mistake telling him? What if things between us are never the same again?' Athewen thought, curling up into a ball. "Maker and Creators, please don't take him from me..."

Athewen never meant to fall in love with anyone, let alone her best friend. But in the weeks since Katie left, she had been there for Cullen and saw more sides to him than he had ever shown anyone before. She was beginning to realize, too, that she was worried that she wouldn't be good enough for Cullen. Katie had been his first love, she had been his everything for nearly a year and if things had been different, Athewen was damn sure that they would have gotten married and started a family. And now, she felt guilty as if she had something to do with why Katie left Cullen- which of course she knew was ridiculous.

'But still...' Athewen sighed, pulling the covers tighter around herself. 'I can't lose him...'

The following day, Athewen tried to keep herself busy, hoping it would help keep her mind off of everything else.

"Mouse?"

Athewen looked up from her work to see Varric at the door. "Hello, Varric, was there something I could help with?"

Varric shook his head. "No, I was actually coming to check on you. I wanted to make sure that you were OK; you've seemed off lately."

Athewen sighed. "I'm fine, Varric. I'm sorry if I worried you."

"I was going to go for a walk and get some fresh air, why don't you join me?"

"I could use a bit of fresh air myself, I think. Thank you."

Varric and Athewen walked together along the battlements, a cool breeze blowing through the city.

"So what's on your mind?"

"Really, Varric, I'm alright."

"Mouse, come on."

They stopped for a moment and Athewen looked out over the landscape.

"I told Cullen, back at Griffon Wing Keep..."

Varric sighed. "Is that why you two have been avoiding each other?"

"I shouldn't have sprung it on him..." Athewen said, sighing. "But for weeks, all I can think of is him. Whenever I'm around him now, he gives me butterflies and makes my heart race. He makes me feel a way that I've never felt before and it's confusing. I mean, he's my best friend, we work closely together, often sparring with each other. But now any time I'm with him, it's like everything has changed between us, even though nothing actually has. He is the only person that I know I can completely trust, the only person I feel like I am able to be myself around."

Varric stood with her on the battlements, listening to her explain what was going through her head.

"The more I think about it, the more I realize that I've come to love so much about him: the way his scar twitches when he smiles, his laughter the rare few times I've heard it, the way his cheeks perk up when he smiles and the twinkle in his eyes that appears each time, the way he looks after his men and helps out around the stronghold when he isn't busy with his duties as the Commander." Athewen looked over at Varric. "What do I do? I can't lose him, too."

"Let things run their course." He replied. "You've made your feelings known and given both yourself and him some space and time to sort through everything." He put a hand to her shoulder. "I doubt Cullen would let something like this ruin your friendship. Whether he feels the same about you or not, he's not that kind of person."

"I know..." Athewen looked away, her chest tight.

"But?"

"What if he does feel the same way about me as I do of him? What if I'm not good enough for him? What about Katie? She was his first love, his first everything..."

"Mouse, look at me."

Athewen looked at the dwarf, seeing a sense of serious that was rare for him.

"You and Katie are both extraordinary in your own ways, but don't compare yourself to her. If Cullen has the same feelings for you as you do for him, then it means that he has spent his time healing and he's moving forward."

Athewen sighed. "You're right... it was stupid of me to worry about it..."

"No, it's perfectly natural." Varric chuckled, returning to his usual cheerful self. "But it takes an outside perspective sometimes to help you see."

"Thanks, Varric."

"Of course." Varric watched as Athewen excused herself, wondering if he helped ease her worry at all. 'Curly should really talk to her...'