Chapter Twenty

Trust and Truth

The remainder of that evening was a blur by the following morning. I awoke to find myself lying on a sofa in the Malfoys' living room. It was at least a minute before I noticed that Severus was asleep in an armchair opposite. As quietly as I could, I pulled myself off the sofa and made my way out onto the rear porch. The sun was just beginning to rise; I could feel it's soft warmth on my face. With a sigh, I leaned against the porch railing, gazing out at the garden. After a few minutes, I heard the door click behind me. A gentle but firm hand rested on my shoulder a second later.

"Are you alright?" a voice asked anxiously. I turned around and saw that the speaker was Severus. I had never seen him look so worried.

"I'll be okay, Severus," I assured him. "Thanks. For last night, I mean," I added awkwardly.

Severus nodded curtly. I shivered as an icy breeze blew past.

"You're cold," he said quietly, grasping me gently by the shoulders and leading me back inside. As Severus guided me into the dining room, the first sound I heard was Narcissa's hysterical shrieking.

"Alysia! Are you alright? I'm so sorry about what Bella did to you last night! I never would have believed it of her!" she cried. I have no doubt that she would have worked herself into a right state had Severus not raised his hand to silence her. I sank gracefully into a chair next to Draco, who looked even paler than the last time I had seen him.

"Draco? Are you unwell?" I asked, concerned. My cousin's son glanced contemptuously at me, before turning abruptly away again. I sighed sadly and got to my feet.

"Aren't you hungry, Alysia?" Narcissa asked, mildly surprised.

"Not very," I lied, gazing at the back of Draco's head. "I should go," I added quietly.

"I'll take you home in a moment," Severus said quickly, giving Draco a stern glance.

"Thanks anyway Severus, but there's something I need to do first. I'll come home in a few days, okay?" I replied. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"If you're absolutely sure, Alysia," he said quietly. I nodded.

"I'll be fine. I promise," I assured him. "I'll see you in a couple of days."

Severus nodded curtly. With a smile, I turned and left.

Severus and I visited a small village in Surrey a few days after that. I was surprised to hear a vaguely familiar female shriek, and spun around looking for the source of the sound.

"Petunia, dear, calm down," I heard a man say calmly. Severus stiffened slightly at the name. It was familiar, but I could not for the life of me recall where I had heard it. I racked my brains, trying to work out where I had seen this woman before. Then I caught a glance of her face, and realised at once who she was.

"Petunia Dursley?" I muttered, slightly confused. I felt Severus grasp my shoulder tightly.

"Not now, Alysia," he hissed. I battled for what felt like hours against the urge to approach her. Just as I made up my mind to follow Severus' advice, however, Petunia spotted us and marched over.

"You! I'm surprised they still let you two walk free! You both deserve to rot in Hell," she yelled hysterically.

"Petunia, if I were you, I'd keep my voice down. I doubt you would want to spend the rest of your life in an asylum," Severus snarled in reply. Petunia glared at him.

"Don't you dare talk to me, you freak!" she shouted.

"I would gladly have spent eternity not talking to you, had you not insulted me," Severus replied, sneering. I could have cut the tension between them with a knife.

"Here," Petunia finally spat. "Your dear freak of a mother left this at my parents house, the last time she visited. I certainly don't want it." She held a tiny phial between her thumb and forefinger, as though its contents disgusted her. Severus snatched it and pocketed it before I could even see what was inside.

"Thank you for returning it. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have something much more important than the hysterical, immature rantings of a muggle to attend to," he said coldly. Petunia looked like she was ready to explode. Sensing danger, I tugged on Severus' sleeve.

"Come on, Severus. We don't want to be late," I muttered. That seemed to make matters worse.

"Oh, thought you'd open your treacherous little mouth, did you?" Petunia demanded, turning to face me directly. "No one asked your opinion, you little murderer," she spat. Severus' grip on my shoulder tightened painfully.

"Care to repeat that, Petunia?" I challenged, frowning. Despite my bravado, inwardly I was confused. What did she mean? Petunia pointed a shaky finger at me.

"How do you think that, that freak found them in the first place? Lily wrote to me, right after her little brat was born, and told me that you were their Secret-Keeper, and to talk to you if I wanted to visit. As if I would!" she spat angrily. I could feel the colour draining from my face. It was true. I had been James and Lily's Secret-Keeper. Until that moment, I had never given it any thought, but I suddenly realised what that meant. Voldemort could not have found the Potters, unless I told him where they were first.

I waited until after Severus had left for Hogwarts again before I seized my chance. I snuck into my brother's room and found Mum's old pensieve. I also located the phial that he had taken from Petunia. It had not been until a few hours after that confrontation that I had realised the silvery liquid the phial contained had been a memory, and instinct was telling me to find out what that memory revealed. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I opened the tiny bottle and poured its contents into the pensieve. Then, taking a deep breath, I plunged headfirst into the stone basin.

I found myself in a dark room. I could just make out the silhouette of a person sitting by the wall. A door opened behind me. I spun around, and was amazed to recognise Mum entering the room. She was staring fearfully at the silhouette, and I slowly turned to face it too. I almost screamed as I recognised who it was. The light, now permitted into the room by the open door, cast an almost perfect spotlight on the figure.

"Oh, my poor Alysia," Mum whispered, running up to a nineteen-year-old version of me. "Don't be scared, honey. I've come to get you out of here."

I heard footsteps enter the room, and turned hesitantly. So did Mum.

"Tom, please don't do this. Don't punish my little girl. Please, let her go," Mum pleaded.

'Tom?' I thought anxiously. 'That's Voldemort! Why is Mum calling her 'Tom', as though they're old friends?'

"You made your choice, Eileen. This is the price you must pay for your foolish decision," Voldemort answered coldly.

"Please, Tom. I'm begging you, let my Alysia go. Release her from her oath. For my sake?" Mum was literally on her knees, begging him. Voldemort only gave her a cruel sneer.

"Tom, don't do this to me, please. Curse me all you want, but please don't make my daughter into a Death Eater."

"Oh, she will be much more than a mere Death Eater, Eileen. Much more," Voldemort answered with a laugh. Mum's eyes widened.

"No! You cannot possibly be considering... How can you..." she stammered, backing away a few paces.

"Quite easily, Eileen. Perhaps you'd care to watch?" Voldemort replied, sounding slightly amused. Without warning, he slashed his wand, before letting out a tortured howl. Mum started crying.

"My poor baby," she sobbed quietly.

At that moment, I pulled myself out. I had only ever seen pictures of the effects of the spell Voldemort had just used, but I recognised it instantly, and understood what it meant. I made up my mind never to tell anyone if I could help it. I knew only too well that many wizards and witches would not hesitate to kill me if they knew. And I had to confess that, if someone else had been in this situation, I would feel exactly the same.

I was a Horcrux. The only reason Voldemort had tried so persistently to recruit me was to ensure his own immortality. And it appeared that the reason he wanted me was as some sick punishment for my mother.

"Punishment for what, though?" I asked myself anxiously. Then, I decided I didn't want to know.