Day 5
She was staring at the ceiling watching the shadows retreat to the far corner of the room. A smirk was plastered to her face simply from the memory of last night's kiss. Every moment, every texture, every delicious implication of it swirled around her brain like a freshly jostled snow globe.
For Jane, the evening had been a bit of a roller coaster. She was hand-clammy nervous when she knocked on Maura's front door. The initial vision of the M.E. in attire that was a mark higher than even her office runway clothes stole her breath. While some part of her knew she looked good in a dress, too, the lanky, all-appendages figure she had grown into seemed no match for Maura's seductive curves. Thankfully, the slow walk had given her time to settle back into their well-worn and comfortable friendship. For a few moments, they were back in time to when things were carefree and easy between them.
Then there was the conversation at the restaurant. It was uncomfortable and a bit painful, but she had made enough mistakes to know it was necessary. Surprisingly, it was also cathartic and gave Jane something she could hardly wait to drop in the lap of Dr. Truitt - emotional accomplishment. The idea of sharing her feelings so openly was new and foreign and scary and even a little embarrassing. But the pay off was worth every single frayed nerve. For she had kissed Maura.
And it didn't feel odd. And it didn't feel awkward. At first, it felt like sitting in front of a fire in a pile full of pillows with a thick, warm blanket wrapped around you sipping hot chocolate. Then it felt like the softest, most luxurious fabric or running your hands through the dense, luxurious coat of wild mink. Jane smiled at the boldness of her next move when their mouths opened and their tongues touched - then it felt like gripping a live wire coursing with 10,000 volts of electricity. It was a jolt that rattled every cell in her body and made her feel so very alive.
Still tingling from the moment relived, Jane rolled over and grabbed her cell phone dialing the familiar number. Her smile widened when she recognized the sleepy timbre in the "good morning" that greeted her.
"Doctor Maura Isles! It is…" she pulled her phone back to look, "…9:47! How could you possibly still be in bed?"
"Uh, well…I had a little trouble falling asleep last night."
Jane's insides fluttered at the revelation. "I see. Must have been all that rich, fancy food you ate last night."
"Um…perhaps is was something to do with my mouth, but I doubt it was the pasta."
That fluttering cascaded into an all-out stomach drop and the detective nearly choked. The seductive tone coming from the familiar voice of her best friend was both foreign and thrilling. She felt like she was careening around a turn and just tipped onto two wheels. She'd better get some control before she crashed.
"Well, I do have to get you back to fighting weight," Jane purposely redirected the conversation. "Did you like the restaurant?"
"Yes. The restaurant was lovely. I'm glad that you chose it. My dinner was wonderful, but it has certainly been a while since I've had that many carbs in one meal. It is a good thing we walked back to my house."
There was an awkward silence as the conversation led back to their doorstep goodbye. Jane wasn't sure how she should bring it up, check in to see if Maura was OK with her advance. The flirting had to be a good sign, but the brunette didn't trust her current ability to read her friend.
Jane's voice was quiet and almost pleading. "Can I see you today?"
The timid request cut Maura to the quick. While Jane was putting forth a heroic effort to come off assured and confident in her feelings, she could sense that Jane's tentative steps held firm to the risk of the ground falling out from under. Perhaps it was time to lighten the mood just a bit.
"I don't know," the doctor sounded like she was stretching while she spoke. "I have some things to do today."
"Oh. I see. Important things?" Jane tried not to sound so obviously fishing.
"Yes," Maura continued playfully. "I have dry cleaning to drop off, I need to go grocery shopping. Oh, and I desperately need to file down Bass's nails…"
"Whoa, wait. You are turning me down for a turtle manicure?!"
"Jane! How many times do I have to correct you? And proper care for domesticated reptiles is important to good health."
"Maura, he is a goddamn walking fossil - one that will outlive us both! I will be over to pick you up in an hour."
Maura stared at herself in the mirror. Jane would be here any minute and she was no closer to deciding on a suitable outfit. She'd opted out of several casual looks feeling that they hung off her smaller frame in a decidedly unflattering way. The loose, flowered sundress she was now wearing at least had enough body to give the illusion of a fuller figure.
They, or rather she, had decided on a trip to the botanical gardens. She wanted to have time to simply be with her friend with no particular activity serving as a distraction. The gardens would allow them to walk and talk and relax without the pressure of close quarters. Maura was filled with optimism, but they still had so much between them. The residual feelings from the path behind them and the unknown direction of the path ahead. Still, she could not deny the giddy anticipation she felt at spending time together. This was certainly an improvement over her previously fervent plans to run away.
The doctor was doing her best to use contoured makeup tricks on her thin face when the doorbell rang. On the one hand, she was sad that Jane had not reverted to her comfortable habit of bursting through the front door unannounced. On the other hand, she reveled in the anticipation of opening the door to her suitor.
She was not disappointed when the reveal showed an off-duty, jean-clad detective with her wild hair back in a loose ponytail. In her hand was a third bunch of roses. The vibrant bouquet was a solid sea of ruby red.
Jane handed them to Maura and wasted no time leaning forward for a casual peck on the cheek.
"Good morning," her eyes sparkled with affection. "You look beautiful."
For the next several hours, the two women wandered through exhibits, across fields of rose bushes and down paths lined with flowering camellias. They walked arm in arm, held hands and stole kisses in the remote corners of the garden. There was an easy affection exchanged and both women fought against any effort to complicate this part of the day with heavy talk or questions.
The trip wasn't terribly far off from something that Maura would have gotten Jane to do at any point in their friendship. But that version, going for a walk, pursuing the exhibits, grabbing a bite for lunch - would have been black and white compared to the vibrant color she was now experiencing. The simple task of holding Jane's hand would have been enough. Jane's hands were oft-concealed domains that only Maura had access to. To hold them freely as they strolled through the grounds was a cherished honor. Then there was the freedom to run her fingers down the length of Jane's forearm, to string her arms around the tall woman's waist and lean her head under a chin, to stare openly and smile with a clear affection no longer afraid to be caught.
The far edge of the property held a majestic garden of Greek-style statues. There were fierce-looking men with strategically-placed fig leaves and busty women whose togas all managed to fall to their waistlines. Maura observed and Jane giggled as they made their way to the large fountain at the end. Just before they reached it, Jane swung the doctor gently against the side of the last figure. A good four inches shorter without her trademark heels, Maura had to tilt her head up to look into brown eyes. They were large and wild with energy but also held a soft wonder.
Jane looked down into hazel eyes. Despite her own height, she had never dated a man shorter than her. She had tended toward large, muscular guys, perhaps in an attempt to force herself into the classic feminine role. She certainly didn't feel masculine around Maura, but she could not deny the pleasure that came from her physically dominant stature. It was a natural relationship. Maura was the fragile work of art and she was the plain but sturdy box that protected it.
Looking down at her masterpiece, her eyes gently closed as lips fell upon their mate's. So soft. So different. Thrilling in a way that was new, but befitting. Like a puzzle piece snapping into place, providing clarity once and for all. She felt Maura's hands run slowly up the middle of her back. Her own hands gripped the doctor's hips like a lifeline. This was not to be a quick, stolen kiss on the edge of a crowd. Lips parted and their tongues danced in a slow, delicate pace. The feeling was so luxurious that Jane was powerless to stop the rumbling half-moan that vibrated through her chest. Maura responded by pulling their bodies closer, pressing her fingertips into the muscles of Jane's upper back. They continued the romantic exploration until the sound of an approaching stroller-bound toddler echoed toward them. Unhurried, Jane pulled back to nibble a top lip, then a bottom before she resumed her close gaze into slightly unfocused eyes. Then she smiled, reached down for Maura's hand and led them off toward the fountain as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
They had tea and sandwiches in the rose cottage, all the while smiling like love-sick fools. They pursued the art gallery. Maura would stop to look at a painting and Jane would come up behind until she was flush against her back relishing the feel of Maura leaning into her. They explored the furthest edges of the property in search of secluded corners to kiss. On the drive back, Jane tucked their clasped hands against her thigh while Maura rubbed her thumb soothingly over a scarred palm.
The day had been like a glorious and unexpected dream. Most so because Jane had been able to completely let go, to shed the pretense she had carried for her entire adult life and be who she truly was..with the woman she truly loved. The release was so profound, it made her light-headed. But as they approached Maura's home, a heavy stone settled in Jane's gut. There was still a final necessary step. This was Day 5, the last in the committed suspension she had negotiated with the flighty M.E. Five days was not enough time to heal all wounds or clearly divine the future, but she needed to know that she had gained enough trust, enough hope to bind Maura to their trying.
Maura could sense the change in mood as soon as the parked. Jane pulled her hand free and ran it several times through wild, dark hair. Her eyes bore straight through the windshield, blinking rapidly. Her brow was wrinkled in thought. It was as if the carefree woman of this afternoon had never existed. This emotional retreat was what Maura feared the most. Despite her steadfast loyalty, Jane was a runner. The stronger the feeling, the faster and further she would run. Maura knew this and her original plan had been to run first before the hurt could begin.
But it was far too late for that. Despite an understanding of the risk, despite the full awareness of her vulnerable state, she had allowed herself to be drawn in. It had seemed like a safe move. Jane had surprised her in so many ways. Now, she saw the familiar anxiety on the brunette's face that told her it was all about to change. Bracing herself for the inevitable, her voice was quiet and flat.
"I…I don't suppose you'd like to come in."
Jane swallowed forcefully and turned toward the blonde. Her eyes cleared into a sharp focus and she nodded. "Yeah, I would."