Chapter 21

"Don't fight it girl." He taunts. "There's no use in fighting it."

"Leave me alone." I growl.

"But you know this is my favorite part." He whispers.

"Stop!" I scream.

A gloved hand grips my arm tightly and whips me around. I squeeze my eyes shut as I'm pulled into a firm body. The arms hold me here like an iron vice. I lock my arms in front of me and push away from him with all my strength. But it's no use, he easily overpowers me, and I struggle as I feel him forcing me to the ground.

"This is my favorite part. I like to do it with my own hands." He teases.

"Let go!" I scream. "Get off!"

He pulls me to the ground and pins me on my back. I kick and shove my knee into his chest, trying to force his weight off of me. He chuckles at my attempts and uses one hand to force down my leg. I let out a growl of frustration as he positions himself over me so that I can't kick anymore. With one hand he holds down both my arms over my head, and the other lingers over my chest.

"Rip your heart out." His voice chants above me.

"No!" I roar, wriggling beneath him.

My eyes shoot open and glare into his piercing yellow gaze. A predatory grin spreads across his face as he lets out a sigh. My eyes water as I feel his hand reaching through my chest, gripping my heart. A burst of adrenaline surges through me and I jerk forward in an explosive motion.

"No!" I scream, hurling myself forward. I wince as my ribs pop. It feels like a dozen needles are trying to stab their way out from my torso. My scream is caught in my throat as a spray of blood forces its way out of my mouth.

"Hey!" Lavi yells, grabbing my shoulders and easing me back down. "What are you doing moving like that?!"

"I-" I wince, my ribs still riddled with pain.

"You're bleeding through your wraps, you must've messed up your ribs again." He says, frantically gazing over my shuddering body.

"I can't breathe, it hurts." I manage through sucked in breaths.

"I'll go get the doctor." Lavi says as he darts for the door.

"Try to relax." Kanda says.

He places a hand on my forehead, holding it flat against the pillow. His other hand hovers over the bandages around my ribs. I wince as the slightest touch sends electrifying pain through my torso. Beads of sweat begin to form on my face. I hadn't even noticed how badly I've been shaking.

"Hold still, you've definitely messed yourself up again." He says softly, softer than his usual tone.

"It hurts." I say through clenched teeth.

"What happened?" A familiar female voice calls out. The doctor from before comes rushing over to my bedside.

"My ribs." I gasp.

"She was sleeping, and then she shot forward suddenly and unset her ribs." Lavi explains. The doctor feels my sides and shakes her head.

"Yes, you've undone all of my good work. Alright hold on, you're going to want to be out for this." She tells me, pulling a syringe out of her pocket and sticking it into my arm.

I whimper and clench the bed sheets. The doctor has Kanda and Lavi hold my arms down while she starts undoing the wraps around my ribs. I instinctively wriggle as my sides sting and ache, but it only makes things worse. I cry out when the doctors hands start moving along my bare skin. When I see my entire torso covered in purple and black bruises, I panic.

"Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!" I screech.

"You have to stop moving. The medicine will kick in any moment." The doctor says.

"Stop touching me-" I huff, grinding my teeth together.

"I have to do something about these ribs." She says firmly.

Her hands push against my sides and the crushing pain leaves me whaling. But then the pain begins to dull as a wave of sleep washes over me. The drugs she injected me with are starting to kick in. As painful as this is, I fight the anesthesia, because sleep will only send me back to Tyki, where I'll have to re live his tortures. But as each second passes, my limbs get heavier and heavier and my mind begins to slip.

"Please.." I look up at Lavi and Kanda. "Don't let..him...get me..." I manage to get the words out before I lose all of my strength. Lavi's grip falters for a moment, and I can see a ping of guilt and rage in his eye. Kanda just stares into my eyes until I finally give in to the medication, and fall asleep.

Waking slowly, I suck in a shaky breath. I wince as sharp pain echoes around my rib cage, and my already closed eyes squeeze together in response to the pain. A warm hand gently presses down on my collar, and I let out an uneven whimper.

"Shhh...take it easy." Lavi's familiar voice coos. "Can we get her some painkillers please?" He asks in a low voice. A moment later, I feel the pinch of a needle in my arm and the sting of medicine being pushed into my veins.

"Just give that some time to kick in." Lavi soothes.

I open my eyes slowly and focus on breathing with as little movement as possible. Lavi moves his hand to my head and pets my hair. Everything feels groggy, like I've been sleeping long and hard. My mouth feels rough and dry and my limbs feel stiff and weak. My shallow breaths bring on persistent aching from my ribs, as I struggle to avoid filling my lungs completely. I've never felt this pathetic before, this weak. I swallow hard and try to toughen up.

"How long was I out?" I ask, my voice weaker and huskier than I remember. Lavi bites his lip.

"After that last incident, you really messed yourself up. The doctor sedated you, but the damage just wasn't healing well, so she just kept medicating you before the effects wore off. You've been asleep for about six days." He explains.

"Six days!?" My outburst sends electrifying jolts of pain through my sides. I squeak and grip the bed sheets.

"Hey, hey, hey. Easy, easy." He soothes.

"I've just been laying here for six days?" I gasp.

Anger bubbles up inside me. I want to rip the tubes out of my arms and claw these bandages off and climb out of this god forsaken bed. Six days. Six entire days. How could I have let all that time escape me? I flex my stomach just to test what sitting up would feel like, but the wave of pain that greets me is too much. Pain and frustration get the better of me and a hot tear escapes my eye. Lavi looks me over wide eyed.

"Hey, what's wrong? Does it hurt too much? Maybe the doc should put you under-"

"No! No more drugs. I don't want to sleep through another-Agh!" Another wave of pain washes over me, and I finish with clenched teeth. "I don't want to sleep through another second."

"Ok, let's just take it easy, alright?" He says.

I nod and look past him. Kanda is leaning against the only door into the room, his arms crossed and his usual scowl painted across his face. He's too far for me to raise my voice high enough to be heard, so I turn back to Lavi.

"Why is he blocking the doorway?" My voice crackles. Lavi looks over his shoulder for a moment.

"Do you remember that man that came into question you?" He asks, and I nod. "Well he came back, a lot of times actually. He even tried to wake you up. He got really impatient and went as far as attempting to inject you with an adrenaline shot, but not before Kanda and I jumped on him. Whatever answers he's looking for, he's willing to compromise your safety for them."

"When was he here last?" I ask.

"He tried coming by earlier today. But Kanda has been guarding the door for the past four or five days. Don't worry, he won't bother you as long as we're here." He grins.

I smile lightly, but it quickly fades. Six whole days of just laying here. Why haven't I healed up yet? I made a pact with the wolf, so why don't I have its strength? I fight back the tears as they sting my eyes. I can't just continue to lay here and be useless. And now I'm letting Lavi see me cry? What kind of failure have I become? A week ago I never would have let anyone see me cry, not while I was conscious and able to contain it. Now I just feel like everything is slipping, like I'll never be strong again. Like I'll never fight again.

"I'm so sorry." I sigh, willing the tears away.

"What are you sorry for?" Lavi asks perplexed, grabbing my hand with his free hand.

"I've been so useless to you all. All I've been lately is a burden. We should be out there fighting, not sitting in here, waiting for me to pull myself back together. And now I'm here and I'm weak, and I'm crying in front of you. I'm so sorry Lavi, I thought that I was stronger than this. What if I don't heal right? What if I never fight again? An exorcist who can't figh-" Before I can say anything else, Lavi shakes his head and closes the gap between us.

His lips press against mine firmly but gently. He squeezes my hand and grips the hair he had been stroking. I'm so taken by surprise that I don't even know what to do. I close my eyes as all my anger and frustration dissipates. Butterflies replace the aching in my sides and goosebumps decorate my pale skin. An odd feeling rises from my chest as my heart races.

He pulls away slowly, and I have to catch my breath. When he looks at me again, I suddenly feel embarrassed. A sly grin spreads across his face and he chuckles under his breath. All I can do is stare at him, dazed and pleasantly surprised, as I try to calm myself back down.

"Lavi." I gasp.

"Sorry, I should've asked." He says, averting his gaze.

I shake my head quickly and he laughs again. Suddenly a wave of sleep washes over me and I feel like I'm going to pass out. I grip Lavi's arm with my hand closest to him.

"Did you give me a sedative?" I ask, starting to lose consciousness.

"No, what's wrong?" He asks, concerned.

"Why am I...sleeping...again?" I manage before my eyes close and I slip into unconsciousness once more.

Hey guys thanks for waiting on me to post these. But fun fact! Since i posted the last chapter, I have graduated high school! Ayyyyy! (hopefully that isn't disappointing to anyone in terms of age).

But anyways! Here you go! I will begin the next chapter ASAP and post it with much haste!

Thank you for all the positive reviews! I really appreciate it, let me know how you like this chapter and as always, let me know what you guys think would add to the story or make my writing better. Enjoy! ^.~