Chapter 21

Tim sat, staring at his phone. He knew that Matt was right, that he needed to call his family. He didn't want to. It would be like if he had gone and spoken to a shrink. They'd tell him things he already knew, things he didn't care about anymore. He wasn't interested in anything they had to say. ...but they were his family.

He decided to call Sarah first. She would be so excited with this first contact that she wouldn't notice anything.

He hoped.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

It took Elaine an hour to finally clear everything off Gibbs' computer. Every time she got one part of the program erased, the two words would repeat again. She hated it. She knew she was good at her job, but Tim was a good programmer and he could make it difficult. He had. She knew it wasn't directed at her, but she couldn't help thinking that Tim should have thought of something that would affect only Gibbs if he was so mad at him. It wasn't as if Gibbs would ever be expected to fix something like this.

...and yet, at the same time, she noticed that Tony and Ziva both winced every time the voice started repeated again...as if Tim was physically hurting them.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Carefully, Tim dialed the number Sarah had left for him.

"Sarah McGee!"

"Hi, Sarah."

A pause.

"Timmy? Is that you?"

"It's me. Hi, sis."

"Timmy! Wow! I'm so happy to hear from you! You're back! ...you are back, right? You're safe and home?"

"Well, I'm at Matt's place. I'm house sitting for the summer, but yes. The operation is over and I'm back."

"And you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"No...I don't think you are. Tim...you sound funny."

"I'm a little keyed up from everything, Sarah. It was a long time."

"Tim...are you sure? You sound different."

"I'm sure."

"Can you tell me what you were doing?"

"Not yet. It's for a case."

"Have you talked to Mom and Dad?"

Tim felt the tension in his hand, spreading to his arm, as Sarah kept asking her eager questions. He knew it was because she'd been worried, but he didn't like it. It made him feel on edge, nervous. Angry.

"Not yet. I left a message for them; so they know I'm home."

"That's it?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Timmy..."

"Look, Sarah, I've been busy, okay?" Tim said, finally losing his temper.

There was a pause.

"I...I'm sorry, Tim," Sarah said softly.

Tim sighed. "No...no, I'm sorry. I'm just...I've been answering so many questions over the last few days. I guess I'm just not up to answering more right now."

"Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Yeah," Tim lied. "How long will you be gone?"

"All summer. The course runs to the end of August. Then, I'll be back and trying to figure out what to do with my life."

Tim thought about that. He didn't have the slightest idea what to do with his own life...not that he was going to tell Sarah. She didn't need to know that he had quit. That revelation could wait. ...indefinitely as far as he was concerned. He was glad Sarah wouldn't be back for a while.

"Maybe...you could take some vacation days and come out to see me. You've never been to England."

"No, I haven't. Maybe I can..."

Sarah couldn't have missed the lack of enthusiasm, but she exercised a surprising amount of restraint and didn't comment on it.

"I'm so glad you're back, Tim. I was worried the whole time you were gone."

"Thanks. I'm fine."

There was an awkwardness that Tim knew was due to his tone. He couldn't help it. He had thought that maybe he could fool Sarah since she wouldn't see him...but even if she wasn't sure exactly why, she could tell something was going on. Given enough time, she'd remember Tim's anger in years gone by. He didn't want her thinking about it.

"Oh, Sarah, I have to go. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was back."

"Okay. I have to head to the library anyway. Call me later, okay? ...or I'll call you."

"My number has changed," Tim said quickly. "I'll call you...later. Bye, Sarah."

"Bye, Tim," Sarah said, her voice sad.

Tim hung up. Even if he was angry at the others, not at his family, he was convinced now, more than ever, that his plan was the right one. Talking with Sarah had proved it. He did feel a slight pang about that, but in the long run, it would be better. He turned his mind onto the certainty that his parting gifts would be thoroughly enjoyed by now.

He smiled to himself and headed out to the swimming pool. Now, they'd understand...and with the way people at NCIS talked, everyone would know...and they'd know who had done it.

The MCRT was a joke.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Gibbs finally sat down at his computer and logged in.

There was a new wallpaper on his monitor.

It was a pair of eyes, staring at him, surrounded by a matte black. The eyes were green and slightly hooded, as if they were looking up at him. Knowing who had sabotaged the computer before, Gibbs figured it must have been Tim who had done this as well. There was something off-putting about those eyes.

They were Tim's eyes...or were they? They had a look of malevolence that Tim certainly didn't have. ...or he hadn't. Then, he noticed the words glowing beneath the eyes. They were familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had seen or heard them before.

"Why The Shadow?" Tony asked, startling Gibbs out of his own thoughts.

"What?" Ziva asked.

"Why did McGee change his login to The Shadow of all things?"

"Well...who is he?"

"McGee?"

"The Shadow," Ziva said firmly. "Who is he? Why would McGee choose him?"

"He's a superhero like Batman," Tony said. "He fights crime by using hypnosis to cloud men's minds. He's a vigilante."

Gibbs looked at the words glowing on his monitor and suddenly remembered where they came from.

"He terrified his targets before taking them down," he said quietly.

Tony and Ziva both looked over at him in surprise.

Gibbs smiled slightly. They were always shocked when he revealed a normal human interest. "It was a radio show and a pulp. My dad liked it. He had a cover identity and used that to gather information. He made it seem like he was somewhere else and would have an evil laugh as they tried to kill the illusion he put in their heads. Every radio show ended with the same thing."

"What?" Tony asked.

"'The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay... The Shadow knows!'" he said, reading the same words on his screen. "Apparently McGee is familiar with it, too."

"Why do you say that, Gibbs?" Ziva asked.

"Because he put it on my computer."

"He did something else?" Tony asked.

"Yep. Changed my screen."

Tony and Ziva both came over and looked.

"Wow," Tony said, eloquently.

"'The weed of crime bears bitter fruit,'" Ziva read. "Why would McGee do that?"

"I don't know."

"Is this really our fault?" Tony asked.

"Do you think it is?" Gibbs asked, staring at those eyes. It was hard to look away from them.

"Why did we not realize that McGee was having problems?" Ziva asked. "When did he become so adept at hiding?"

"When he had to be someone else," Tony said. "...hey...do you think we ever actually saw McGee or were we only seeing Thomas Allen McKay?"

"I don't know," Gibbs said and tore his gaze from those glaring eyes. He had no idea how to change his monitor background. Before Tim had put those eyes there, it had simply been a boring blue.

Now, it was Tim's parting message. He just didn't think he was getting it.

...and maybe they hadn't been, not for months.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Vance walked into Abby's lab, relieved that the music was off...and that she was the only one there. Just by her depressed stance, the scuttlebutt had already reached her and she knew Tim had quit.

"Ms. Sciuto?"

Abby jumped and turned around.

"Director Vance! What...are you doing here? I mean, it's your agency; so I guess you can be anywhere you want to be, but you don't usually come down here, not unless you want something, but if it was part of a case, it would be the undercover drug stuff and that's Gibbs' thing...since...since Tim isn't part of it anymore and so it seems weird that you're down here and I'm just curious..."

"Ms. Sciuto, I'm more than happy to satisfy your curiosity if you would do me the courtesy of allowing me the chance to speak."

"Sorry...I was rambling. Is this about Tim?"

"Yes."

"What? I had no idea!" Abby said, her eyes tearing up. "I only saw him the once while he was undercover and when he came back, he kept avoiding me! I tried to go to his apartment and he was there...I think, but he wouldn't answer the door. His phone was turned off. Then, I tried to call this morning and it was out of service! I'm really worried about him, but I can't tell you anything!"

Vance smiled. Sometimes, Abby acted like a child, but he was gratified to know that someone had been worried enough to check up on Tim.

"He avoided you?" he asked, curious.

"Yeah! Not just being out of the room when I was looking, either. I tried to give him a hug to welcome him back and he held me away from him."

"Hmmm... Well, I'd like to ask a favor of you, Ms. Sciuto."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I would like you to see if you can track down his whereabouts. Do you have the time for it?"

"Yes! I mean, I'm busy, of course, but I have time! I can make time! ...but I'm not sure where to start."

"His phone is out of service, you said?"

"Yes."

"What about GPS tracking?"

Abby blushed. "I...I already tried that, Director."

Vance smiled. "No luck?"

"No. He must have disabled it. He'd know how."

"Yes, he would...and that means that he doesn't want us to find him. The next question is, knowing that he wants to be left alone, should we continue the search?"

"We have to, Director! He's...Tim's not right! I could tell when I saw him, but I didn't know he would quit! He was so different. I'm worried."

"As am I. How about his phone? There are ways of tracking it, even if it's off."

"Yes. Yes! There are! ...but that could be a violation of privacy. I mean, Tim hasn't committed a crime."

"No. We're...or at least you're his friend and you're worried about his well-being. I don't want to put out a BOLO to search for him. I'd rather have this done quietly and unofficially. ...and, Ms. Sciuto?"

"Yes, Director Vance?"

"If you are successful in tracking him down, do not run off to confront him. There is something more going on here than I think any of us realizes, and I don't want to push him further away. I simply want to be sure that he's all right. He quit...rather adamantly, and if he is sincere, bringing him back won't do NCIS...or McGee any good at all. Understood?"

Abby nodded, albeit rather reluctantly. "Yes, Director. I understand. Should I keep it a secret?"

"Do you actually think you could?"

Abby smiled miserably. "No. Not if they asked."

"Then, don't bother trying. I still haven't decided how to go about this...if anything is to be done at all, but I'd like to be prepared."

"Yes... Director Vance?"

"Yes, Ms. Sciuto?"

"Could I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why are you worried?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you were worried, too. Why? You didn't try to hug Tim...did you?"

Vance laughed and stood up...not yet willing to reveal all he knew...even to a sympathetic source.

"No, I didn't. Let's just say that I have my sources...and my reasons to believe that McGee is...at least at risk...from himself. Besides, it's against my grain to abandon someone who obviously needs help, even if they want to be. Let me know if you are successful."

"I will. Thank you, Director."

"For what?"

Abby smiled. "For giving me permission to do something I would have done anyway."

"You're welcome." Vance walked back out of the lab, knowing that, if Tim could be found, Abby would find him.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

He spun around in a whorl of images, people laughing at him, putting him down...attacking him. They pressed closer and closer, their faces changing from teasing to evil. He was afraid of them. He pulled out his gun and began shooting them. As the bullets struck each attacker, they exploded into motes light that gradually dissolved away...

...until he was alone, still spinning, surrounded by mirrors now, reflections of himself, images of Tim McGee.

Then, the spinning stopped. He raised the gun toward the mirror.

...and he fired.

The mirror exploded and he screamed...

...and he sat up on the deck chair by the pool, still screaming, startling Jethro who flinched away from him and trotted to the other side of the lawn as Tim looked around, terrified.

He didn't know where he was. He couldn't remember. What was going on?

He stood up and spun around in circles, trying to get his bearings...lost his balance and fell headfirst into the pool.