Chapter 21: He's Holding My Hand!

"Are you okay?" Maia asked when they were out of Jason and Piper's earshot.

"Yeah," Leo said shakily. He seemed to realize how unconvincing he sounded, because he a second after the word left his mouth, he puffed out his chest and grinned. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Maia raised an eyebrow. "Leo, I'm not stupid. Tell me what's wrong, or else I'll force you to turn back and witness Piper and Jason's disgustingly obvious flirting."

Leo laughed, and the sound made Maia's chest flutter. "You couldn't send me back if you wanted to," he said.

"And why is that?" She asked.

"You wouldn't be able to fix Festus alone."

"Shut up. You know you're not okay, and you need to tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, Mai," Leo said, sounding exasperated. "I told you, I'm fine."

Maia gave him an unimpressed look and stopped walking abruptly, making Leo stop too. She glared at him, and he fidgeted under her gaze, looking down at his feet. Maia knew she should probably just drop it, but she was tired of Leo pretending nothing bothered him. He was only human, and she knew from experience that if he kept it inside, it would only hurt more. And if this made her a huge hypocrite? So be it.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, Leo sighed. "I just..." he looked up an Maia, and she nodded encouragingly. "He wasn't supposed to fall. I fixed him, and I promised that I'd have a good ride for you, and then I did, and then I was so happy, because I got to go on the quest with you guys, but now he's broken, and you were counting on me, and I failed you, even though I promised I wouldn't. And I failed Festus too, because I told him he'd be okay, but now I don't know where he is, or if he's even in one piece, and I failed him. And I'm scared too, scared of a lot of things, actually," he let out a little laugh and continued, "I try to cover it up with my jokes and stuff, and it usually works, but I'm really just scared, and everyone seems to believe me, or at least they don't push me any farther, but you do. You know I'm scared and you try to help, you don't just ignore it and pretend everything's fine, and I like that and I am really really confused."

Maia looked at him in silence for a moment, not knowing what to say. She'd known something was bothering him, but...wow. She didn't know what that something was, or how it was eating away at him. She didn't know what to say. He looked so small, sitting there, and it was completely new to Maia. She was used to the cocky, over confident boy, who although obviously had some self esteem issues, she could always count on to make her feel better with a cheesy joke or halfhearted insult. She didn't even stop to think that Leo might need someone to make him feel better. So yeah...Maia didn't know what to say. But she knew she had to say something, because the silence was starting to get uncomfortable.

She looked at Leo, and discovered he had gone back to looking at the dirty floor, making patterns in the dust with his feet.

Maia thought back to all the times she had felt helpless, and how her friends had made her feel better. Most of them didn't actually talk to her about anything, they just changed the subject in hopes of taking her mind off of whatever was paining her, and although Maia knew they meant well, it never helped. The only two people who would try to talk to her, comfort her, were Charlie and Percy. How did they do it?

Maia cursed her missing memories. She tried to remember, but she just couldn't. She didn't know how they'd made her feel better. Maybe certain memories would never come back, and she'd just have to live her life in half truths. Whatever the case, she had to help Leo. She should know how to make him feel better without copying what other people would do for her.

Suddenly, she knew what to do.

Even though she knew she'd regret it later, Maia grabbed Leo's hand and smiled. Leo started, looked down at their joined hands, then at Maia's face, and he smiled. The fluttery feeling was back, and boy, it was back with a vengeance.

Maia tried to ignore what was going on inside her head and chest, and instead decided to focus on Leo's hands. They were warm, which shouldn't have surprised her as much as it did, what with the fire thing he had. It was nice. Her hands were freezing. His thin fingers felt just as long and nimble as they looked, and felt just right against her shorter, chubbier ones.

Leo squeezed her hand once, which brought her back to the real world. She looked at his smiling face (was it her imagination, or was it redder than usual?) and smiled back at him, trying not to convey on her face the panic she was feeling.

I'm holding his hand. I'm holding his hand. I'm holding his hand, and he's smiling at me, and he doesn't mind, and he looks almost happy, and he may be blushing, and oh no, am I blushing? Shit, I bet I'm blushing. I hope I'm not blushing. I don't know, am I blushing? I am, I can tell, he probably thinks I'm so weird, I should stop blushing, it's weird, I usually don't blush very easily. Wait, maybe he doesn't think I'm weird, 'cause he may be blushing too. No, it's just my imagination, he's not blushing, he can't be. He's holding my hand, I'm holding his hand, he's holding my hand...

Those were the thoughts running through her mind, and it was safe to say that she was totally freaking out.

"Thanks, Mai." He said quietly.

"Don't be silly, all I did was grab your hand," she said, trying to act like it was totally Not A Big Deal.

"It helped."

Maia smiled. On the outside, she was calm and collected and kind, but on the inside, she was screaming, because she knew what was going on. She had a huge crush on Leo. It was obvious to her now. This was exactly what happened with Charlie, and...oh no. Charlie. Maia gasped, and let go of Leo's hand as quickly as if it had burned her.

"What's wrong?" Leo asked frantically, holding his hands up to his face, maybe to make sure he did not, in fact, burn her. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

Maia looked at Leo's face: his eyes wide; his mouth open in a little O; his expression open, trusting, and a little hurt; and she felt a surge of guilt. Leo, who was always joking, always happy, always had something to say, was hesitant and worried and unsure of himself, and it was all her fault.

"No. No, I'm fine," she lied. "I...I just...never mind. Let's go." Maia smiled to show that she was okay, and took his hand again, making sure to stand far enough away so it was clear that the hand holding was simply platonic. She couldn't have another Charlie. She'd learned her lesson the hard way. And that lesson, although admittedly not very logical, made sense to her: She shouldn't get close to people. If she does, it will just end badly for both her and them.

"Oh, um, okay," Leo said, sounding awkward and unsure. And with that, they started looking for a way out of the warehouse.

Maia was grateful that Leo didn't push the issue any further (again, she knew she was being a huge hypocrite), because she didn't know what she'd say if he did. I'm scared to like you because I once fell in love with this guy, who was also my best friend and when he told me he liked me, I freaked out and ruined our friendship and then he died a couple days later. Yeah. That would go over well.

When Maia looked up, she realized they had somehow found their way outside, and were now standing next to where Festus crashed.

"Ew," she said simply, because Festus had landed on a line of Porta-Potties. Thankfully, they hadn't been used in a long time, and the fireball from the crash had incinerated most of the contents, but Maia still had to breathe through her mouth to keep from gagging. "How about you take care of this one, Leo?" she asked hopefully. "Like you said, I can't fix Festus, and I'll probably just get in the way of your brilliant handiwork."

Leo huffed and let go of her hand (she didn't even realize he was still holding it). "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you just don't want to get your feet dirty."

"Maybe."

He laughed and rolled his eyes, but started climbing over the dragon's inanimate body anyway.

After a few minutes, he called out to her. "His body isn't even dented! It's not my fault." And then to the dragon, "Festus, you're making me look bad."

"Ok..." Maia nodded, not sure what else to say. She studied Leo, who was currently cleaning something off that Maia didn't recognize. He stopped for a moment, and he looked deep in thought.

"Enough Valdez," Leo said suddenly, making Maia jump. "Nobody's going to play violins for you just because you're not important. Fix the stupid dragon."

Maia was pretty sure he'd forgotten she was there. She took a step closer. "Leo, what do you mean? Of course you're important. Do you really think that?"

Leo blushed and looked over at her, apparently forgetting she was there. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but before he could, the ground started to speak.

She's right, Leo.