Various hues of orange and brown fill my vision, both from above and below. The leaves hold tightly to the branches of their hosts, refusing to release, even as the temperature dwindles each day. Those who have been swept away by the autumn breeze now lay as an amber blanket covering the forest floor. A few even sprinkle the Sanctuary grounds lined by the fence.

I sigh and sit back further against the exposed brick of the warehouse exterior. Despite the slight chill in the air, the warmth radiating from the bricks has kept me relatively comfortable for the past half hour that I've been out here.

I hear some clanking and glance to my left, spotting Simon hunched over the hood of his truck, tools and parts littering the gravel around his feet. It's his morning to keep an eye on me and he needed to do some work on his truck, meaning I must be outside with him. I'm not complaining, though. Negan's kept me cooped up in the apartment since the attack on Fat Joey, so a bit of sunshine and fresh air is a well needed break from the four walls of his space.

I was originally hoping to get a quick nap while out here, but the constant banging, clanking, and occasional frustrated curse from Simon has made that difficult. Sleep and I have been on tense terms for the past week or so, only allowing me to get a couple hours of restless sleep each night.

Simply put, night has become my enemy. It's been the one time of the day when my subconscious thoughts and worries would bombard me in full force. During the day, I had my chores and petty duties to keep both mind and body distracted. Though, I've struggled to keep up with the 'doting' wife act that I've convinced myself to put on earlier. Then, in the quiet of the night, the demons would pound on the door, demanding entry and attention.

Since the fight with my dad, I've found myself wide awake, pacing the living room floor, at three AM. I haven't been able to sleep, no matter how hard I've tried. I would toss and turn in bed until I couldn't take it anymore. With Negan being such a heavy sleeper, it was easy enough to slip from under the covers and out of the room without disturbing him.

Once in the living room, I would pace and process my dad's words as they continuously echoed in my mind. A part of me wondered if what he said had any merit behind it. It caused me to doubt myself and the decisions that I've made thus far. I tried to mentally re-enact different scenarios, wondering maybe if I had done something different, my dad and I would not be in this situation. That maybe he was right, I've betrayed him and his trust.

The thing is, I wanted to find a lapse in my decision making. Anything to put me in the wrong and validate my dad's emotional tirade, because I didn't want to believe that he could so easily turn a cold shoulder to me without a legitimate reason. Each time I closed my eyes, I could see him looking at me as if I had changed sides; pledging my allegiance to the Saviors and standing at the right hand of Negan himself.

Deep down, I knew that he believed it to be true. I could see it in his eyes. As if he didn't recognize the person standing before him, as if I were nothing more than a stranger.

I could've easily said the same about him. That what I had seen on my visits wasn't my father, but only a shell of his former self. No… my father vanished the moment Negan stepped foot on our property and turned our lives into absolute shit because of my father's past mistakes. I don't even know what to make of what's left of him.

I did what I believed was necessary to guarantee any sort of safety for him and myself, and because of that, I'm alone.

Completely alone.

The tears would freely fall upon that realization. Only when the low sobs ceased would I tiptoe back to Negan's room and try to muster myself to sleep. The cycle repeated the next night, and every night that has followed thus far.

Releasing a shaky breath, I squeeze my eyes shut and melt into the wall behind me, wishing I could just vanish. I pull my hood over my head and fight to block Simon out completely just to get a few precious moments of slumber to make up for what I've lost.

"There you are, darlin'," a voice suddenly calls out to me. I open my eyes with a groan and spot Negan rounding the corner of the warehouse, strutting towards me with his leading lady positioned on his shoulder. The dropping temperature has forced him to add an extra layer to his attire, now sporting a black hoodie underneath his trademark leather.

Stopping a few feet away from me, his eyes shift to where Simon is working on his truck. "The damn thing had been running fine until this morning. He gettin' anywhere with that piece of shit?"

I shrug my shoulders as Simon unleashes another flurry of expletives. "Doesn't sound like it."

Negan grunts and leans Lucille against the weathered brick wall. I raise an eyebrow in question as he sinks to the ground next to me, extending his long, slender legs in front of him in a relaxed position. He rests his head against the wall and closes his eyes, appearing to use this time for a well-needed break.

"Damn, you sure do know how to carry on a conversation," Negan says after a while.

"You're the one who came looking for me."

"So, you can speak," Negan points out, his eyes still closed. "You've been acting like someone had cut your goddamn tongue out all week. It had me thinking you had gone fucking emo on me. Plus, ya ain't been looking too hot for a while, sleep much lately?"

I internally curse at how observant Negan has proven to be. Truth be told, I haven't intentionally been a recluse. I guess I've been more in my head about this entire situation than I originally thought.

"Hey," Negan prompts, nudging my leg with his own. "Talk to me, doll."

"So… you were looking for me?"

Negan huffs and sits up straighter. "Yeah, I have to make a little trip today and you're riding shotgun."

Leaving the Sanctuary with Negan? The only time I ever leave is when it has something to do with my dad. If that were the case, Negan surely wouldn't be telling me like this.

"What's the catch?" I question, crossing my arms over my chest.

Negan rolls his eyes. "There is none. I'm not fucking with you darlin', consider it a long overdue reward." Negan maneuvers to his feet and reaches for Lucille. "It's a beautiful fucking day, might as well take advantage of it and get out of this shithole for a bit. So, how 'bout it?" he asks, stretching his other hand towards me.

You know what… fuck it. What do I have to lose at this point?

Negan is beaming as I grasp his hand, allowing him to pull me to my feet. He takes the chance to pull me in close and press his lips against mine, his tongue maneuvering expertly in my mouth. I'm taken aback slightly, but I react willingly and how Negan likes. A few beats later, he pulls away grinning like a kid in a candy store. He instructs me to hurry inside to change clothes, explaining that he left me a little something on his bed.

My stomach drops. Negan's last idea of a 'suitable outfit' was anything but that. I sulk into the bedroom and force myself to look upon the garments neatly folded atop the black comforter: one pair of dark washed jeans, a black t-shirt, a burgundy and grey flannel, and a pair of boots.

"What the…?" The clothes are brand new and still sporting price tags.

There's no time to ponder this any further as I remember Negan's infamous countdown. I quickly rip off the tags and dress in the new clothes before hustling back outside, making sure to grab my jacket on the way out.

I'm tugging my jacket on when I spot Negan and Simon by the main gate, where both men's trucks sit idling. I'm surprised to see Simon's truck running after how long he has been working on it. Judging by the strained sounds of the engine, the issue still isn't 100% resolved.

Before long, our mini caravan is on the road. Although blindfolded, I can discern that we are not going to the factory; we would've made two right turns and one left by this point in our journey. It seems as if we've been traveling down this one certain highway for hours.

Despite my continuous questions of our destination, Negan remains tight lipped, though he reassures me multiple times that I'm not in trouble and that this isn't some form of trap.

"That's exactly what someone would say if it were a trap."

"Aren't you the little smart ass today?" Negan quips. "I guess you'll just have to wait until we get there to fucking find out."

Maybe an hour or so later, I feel the truck turn off the main highway and onto a gravel road.

"You can rip that thing off your eyes now," Negan announces after what feels to be a couple of miles. "We're here." He brings the truck to a stop and turns the engine off. I hear Simon's truck behind us coming to a halt too.

My fingers quickly loosen the fabric, finally allowing me to see just where we are. Dense forest surrounds us on both sides of the one-lane trail. Other than the trees, there is nothing else to see. The scenery reminds me of some twisted setting of a horror movie.

"What are we doing here?" I grip the canvased seatbelt that's across my chest and lean slightly forward, nervously glancing out my window. These woods are thicker than what surround the Sanctuary, maybe allowing only a couple yards of visibility. Even though we're hours from home, after the talk with my dad about the Whisperers, I can't shake the eerie feeling that someone may be hiding just beyond the brush. "Is it safe?"

"What? You worried that Bigfoot is going to grab your ass or something?"

"No. It's just… nothing." What am I supposed to say? I know that Negan doesn't like me poking my nose into his business. I'm just worried about the Whisperers and that woman Alpha showing up and taking us out while we're sitting ducks in these woods.

I remain silent as Negan grabs Lucille and exits the truck, motioning for me to do the same. He leaves me by the truck for a moment to go have a few words with Simon. Their conversation is short, Negan doing most of the talking while Simon nods in confirmation.

Simon starts his truck and sputters back onto the gravel road. I cringe a bit at the pained rattle of the diesel's engine as it accelerates out of sight, leaving only a plume of exhaust wafting through the trees.

"Where is he going?" I question when Negan returns to my side. I may haven't been around the Saviors long, but I know enough to know that Negan doesn't go anywhere alone.

"Business matters," Negan answers nonchalantly. He drapes his arm across my shoulders, pulling me in close as he leads us both away from the safety of the truck, walking along the side of the trail. "No need for a damn third wheel on this date anyways."

"Date?" I repeat, my head twisting to peer up at him. Of all the things going on right now, Negan chooses this moment for some kind of 'date'?

"Nothing more romantic than the great outdoors," he motions grandly to the vegetation. "Besides, shits been crazy lately and I haven't had much time with my girl." His arm on me gently tightens, pressing me to his side.

My girl…. Words that are so simple yet seem heavier than the arm around me. For the first time since being taken, I feel as if I really am his. Before, Negan could exude his ownership as much as he wanted, but in my heart, I always knew that my dad was in my corner with me. I could never be Negan's because my full allegiance was with my dad.

That's all over now. At least, that's what it feels like to me after our falling out. There's no point in fighting this anymore.

My cheeks lift into a small smile. "So, what do you have planned?"

Edited by Spitfire47.

Hey guys! I hope yall enjoyed the update. Let me know what ya think!

Thank you for being patient for this update. Even though it took forever to finally get it posted, I never once stopped writing or put the story on hold. Around the time that I posted chapter 20, I took on a bigger role as a caregiver for my grandfather, who suffers from dementia. I've spent any available time writing, even if it meant only having time to write a couple sentences.

This story is FAR from over. :)