"Alright, Vi, we're here," Cid calls, matching my side when I start toward the front of the ship. "Hope this is worth it."
"Drop the ladder," I mutter, staring at the landscape. A crater filled with crystal clear water rolls with soft waves beneath us, a glistening waterfall rolling from mossy, flowered rocks tumbling into the pristine lake.
The grass is wet when we cross it, trying our best not to slip. Yuffie leaps across the untouched ground with practiced precision, fingers brushing the surface of the lake.
"It's beautiful," she gushes, spinning around to take it all in.
"Sure is," Tifa agrees. "How do we get past this waterfall?"
"I'm sure there's a way behind," I shrug, passing her to lead the way. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get to Hojo. Vincent's right behind me, striding alongside Cid. I nearly slip on the slick rocks, but Cid catches my arm and keeps me steady.
"We have to hurry," Cloud reminds us. "Hojo's on the cannon." A spell seems to cast over us as we enter the cavern, surrounded by glittering green and blue crystals, mako pooling in patches around the dirt floor.
She's here.
Who?
My heart drops and I clench my jaw as my eyes rest upon her. She looks so innocent, so pure, so wrong. This isn't how I remember her. The slim woman before us stands slumped forward, wrapped in a lab coat as white as fresh snow and her long brunette hair wrapped up tightly into a ponytail.
"Lucrecia!" Vincent gasps. Half of Avalanche jumps as he rushes toward her turned back. I'm not stunned enough to miss the sound of my heart cracking.
"Vincent…" she sniffs, her voice soft as she turns around, wet tears staining her cheeks. Bitterness swallows my heart whole and I step forward, my harsh glare never once leaving her doe-like brown eyes.
"Lucy," I spit her name like poison. Tifa and Nanaki eye me cautiously.
"Violet… It's been so long," she smiles. I shake my head, overflowing with hatred.
"Don't act like nothing happened. You were there. You gave orders."
"And I regret it all," she hangs her head, her voice cracking. My fists tighten at my sides and I wish I had the strength to lunge at her and rip her throat out.
"Lucrecia…" Vincent murmurs, helplessly falling back in love with the vision of the woman before us.
"Stay back!" she screams, throwing her hands out to stop him.
The room flashes with a searing white light. Suddenly, we're surrounded by a crystal clear vision. I shudder. It's Vincent talking to Lucrecia on his first day, confused by her stuttering before she runs off, babbling nonsense to herself. And then there's me rushing toward them, equally confused as I flounce about in my little black skirt. The world blinks into a whole new image—another memory. Vincent walks down the path through Nibelheim at Lucrecia's side, smiles plastered on both of their youthful faces. She bumps into his side purposely; his bony shoulder bumps her back as he chuckles faintly. This fades to the gray shades of the snowy day that she dropped the news of her engagement to Hojo; a piercing pain gleams in his eyes as she shakes her head and runs away, hugging her winter coat close to her slender body.
I steal a glance at Vincent, who stares at the flashing scenes with an unreadable expression. Avalanche watches his life play out before their very eyes, still trying to comprehed how this seemingly innocent woman was the mother of Sephiroth. Hojo comforts Lucrecia in the next vision; young Vincent watches on with a passive expression, though his crimson eyes reveal his true pain. His younger voice echoes through the cave, replacing the worn, underused one he has now.
"If she is happy, then I don't mind."
I swallow hard; that stupid lie he would always tell himself. That stupid lie he still tells himself. The next is a scene I remember very well. Lucrecia and I are speaking in muted voices in the library when she suddenly collapses her seat and crumples onto the floor. I crouch by her side, my screams for Vincent to help reduced to silence as Lucrecia writhes on the floor, clutching her stomach.
"I'm against it! Why experiments on humans!?" Vincent demands, pacing in Hojo's office. "Why her?"
"We are both scientists," Hojo cackles. "We know what we're doing!"
The next scene stings. Rash decisions led to the failure of my purpose, to the suffering of Vincent, to the joy of Hojo. In the image, Vincent shouts, enraged. Hojo turns sharply and fires his gun once, laughing as the Turk collapses to the cold wooden floor, blood oozing into the cracks between the dusty planks. The room goes dark before we see Hojo restraining Vincent to a table, cutting, zapping, stitching. Grotesque flickers of Vincent's suffering play in quick flashes of blood red. Vincent stumbles awake from the daze of the experiments, falling to his bony knees and screaming as the terror of the demons overtakes his mind. The echoing cries are bone-chilling.
"Stop this!" Vincent demands sharply. The cave reverts to its normal state and Lucrecia turns to look at me ruefully, ignoring the stabbing glare Vincent fires in her direction.
"Dear sister…. Everything you suffered…"
"Don't!" I cry, but it's too late. Of course, the first thing she shows is me sprinting through the manor in a towel. Cid chuckles despite our circumstances when it's revealed that I'm shrieking about a spider to a confused Turk—Vincent, of course.
The next vision is the first time I met David. He grins and takes my hand, leading me away from the chaos of Lucrecia's college graduation party. We sit along a dirt path in the woods behind my parent's house, laughing and talking. White. The day he proposed, still dressed in his dirty SOLDIER uniform from the trip to Corel that nearly killed him. White. Me fist pumping and throwing him to ground, giggling. White. The day David came home and scooped up his son, spinning the boy around before kissing me and leading us back inside the Manor. White. Me sobbing uncontrollably at his coffin's side while Vincent looms over me, holding a black umbrella.
"I don't have anything else to live for, Vincent. Promise you won't get in the way?"
"… I swear it."
I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek as the image of me offering myself up to Hojo arises; the cackling and the tugging me into the lab without a moment's hesitation are memories that still haunt my dreams. A demonstration of my hydrophobia comes next; I try not to vomit. Hojo locks me in a tank, tying my ankle down with a heavy chain and filling the tank with freezing water. I awaken immediately, inhaling splashes and waves and screaming through my gurgling throat, banging on the glass in a sick plea for freedom. Bubbles flow from my mouth as the tank reaches its maximum capacity. Hojo drains my lungs and restarts my heart before performing the operation all over again, demanding that I try harder to survive. Lucrecia scribbles down notes in the corner of the laboratory.
The next scene is my first awakening to Shadow. The door to the lab is locked when my cold hand rattles the knob. As I stand in the vision, I can hear a hissing voice. A scream, reverberating throughout my skull. My hair suddenly turns fades to black, my tattered clothes turn to armor, my nails morph into claws. I scramble to Hojo's messy desk, fumbling as I desperately gasp for breath, and snatch up his handgun. With trembling hands, I grip the weapon and hold it to my temple, pulling the trigger without further hesitation. I collapse to the floor with a final heaving breath. the last sound I hear is the slow clap of Hojo's cracked hands as he cackles, concealed by the shadows of his countless volumes of recorded research.
The last scene shakes me far more than the others, my palms sweaty as my hands curl back into fists. My breaths are as ragged, just as they are in the vision. Reno, hopelessly drunk in our home in Cosmo Canyon, grips my hair and drags me after him. I'm obviously drugged, nonsensical. I manage to break free, trying to open the front door. Screaming, desperate. I hurry to my phone, dialing a number only for Reno to snatch it from my grasp and crush it beneath his boot. We scream back and forth, exchanging threats. He moves first, stabbing me repeatedly. Then, snapping out of his stupor, he saves me, kisses me, promises things will be different; he'll change, he doesn't mean to do this, he swears. I brush him off with a whisper. In real time, my knees give out and I fall to the floor, shaking.
"Lucrecia…" I whisper, a quiet plead for her to stop. The very things I try so hard to forget... she displayed them for the world to see.
"Even now… I can't protect my own sister from pain," Lucrecia breathes, her voice soft.
"Why did you show him?" I whimper, my hands clutched over my splitting heart. "Why did you bring David back!?"
"Things you have yet to see are coming," she replies, closing her eyes as she predicts my impending outburst. "You must have strength."
"And so you weaken me!?" I demand, standing. "You make me feel these things I've struggled to become numb to because I need strength!?"
"Violet," Nanaki speaks up quietly. "Do not be foolish."
"Shut it!" I snap.
"You're alive, then," Vincent finally speaks up. Lucrecia opens her eyes, her brow creased with the weight of another burden.
"Tell me, Vincent," she whispers, hands folded over her heart. "Sephiroth… Is he still alive? I've had visions of his horrible deeds… Is my son living?" Vincent looks down at his pointed shoes. I would give the world to rush forward and scream that it's all true, that it's all because of her, but I'm defeated by Vincent's prompt reply.
"Sephiroth is dead," Vincent answers firmly, having regained the strength in his voice. Another tear trails down Lucy's pale face and she nods solemnly. Another bright flash momentarily blinds us. When the light clears, Lucrecia is trapped in a gleaming mako crystal, head bowed and clothes torn into white strips and hovering about her frame angelically.
"I'm sorry," she whispers through the cavern, but her lips don't move. Below her lies a small pile of treasures that I scowl at. Avalanche files out of the room in silence; I drop to the floor again, exhausted.
"But… why?" Vincent mutters, observing the items. He lifts a syringe filled with a black serum, clearly labeled "Chaos" in red, curling letters.
"Because," I snap. "She only cares about her experiments. She hasn't changed in the least." He frowns and goes back to looking at the junk.
He already has Chaos within him, though, doesn't he?
This serum unlocks his true and final form.
I swallow hard when his grip around the syringe tightens considerably. I stand and come up behind him, looking over the pile and feeling my heart flutter. There's another needled syringe with my name on it, inscribed with a short note scrawled in silver. "Your strength, your new power, a gift concocted to summon strength in the darkest of shadows." Yeah, right.
"There is a letter for you," Vincent points out lowly, nodding toward a folded paper that rests in the dirt. I frown and pick it up, refusing to open it.
"Vincent," I say suddenly. He looks up, his face glowing in the reflection of the emerald green of Lucy's crystal. Flashes of David's grin, his joy, his laughter flash before my eyes and I tear my gaze away, pointing wordlessly at the weapons stacked against another stone with guilt swelling in my chest.
I fight back tears and watch as he pulls his gun from its holster and sets it down, taking up an intriguing weapon with three barrels. Cerberus is carved into the side delicately. I lit up a sleek black bow and a quiver of matching arrows. I sigh, turning to face Lucrecia; the slightest breeze of regret chills my heart. Not because of what she gave, but because she truly laments for her actions. As long as she is willing to regret, I suppose I'm willing to forgive. My hand runs down the face of the crystal and I peer up at her face, the tear she shed frozen on her cheek and doomed to remain for eternity. Should he have lied to her? I think so—to spare her from an eternity of pain for her mistakes. For all she put us through, she doesn't deserve another burden.
"I'm sorry, too," I say, turning and leaving the cave with a steady stride.
"Violet," Vincent calls, catching up easily. I sigh, squeezing my eyes shut and ridding my mind of David's face. I need to let go, just like I've been telling Vincent to let go of Lucy. I'm a hypocrite. I've become so used to Vincent's company and his odd smiles and wry humor and shy kisses, but… I don't know if he'll want anything to do with me after everything he just saw—after everything he's remembered. I'm prepared for the worst when I turn to face him, but he merely hands me the syringe Lucy left me with a blank expression. "You left this."
"Thanks," I mutter, leading the way out with the slightest eye-roll.
"We're heading to Midgar now," Cloud announces. "As fast as we can."
I nod and silently head to my cabin, ignoring the pitiful stares I receive as I go. I just need some time alone. I close my door and set my new weapon against the wall. Drained, I set the folded letter on my wooden bedside table, laying on the mattress and toying with the syringe. My strength? What does she mean by power? What is this stuff?
"Scientists are all the same," I tell myself, watching the black fluid turn round and round in its glass capsule. "They only want to create chaos and take notes while they watch the world burn. Once one tragedy's run its course, they move on to the next." Lucrecia is no different. She's testing her theory to see If I truly crave the strength, the power that she's promising. What I have already isn't enough. I can't protect them even like this. Aeris… I could've done something. Maybe if I was faster, or if I stopped thinking about myself for one second. Poor Cloud blames himself for something I easily could have prevented.
The dark substance sloshes as I flip it between my fingers, thinking about the circumstances I've caught myself in. Should I just do it? Get it over with? What if I get some weird disease from this needle? I sigh and start to roll up my sleeve. Should I wash my arm off or something? After a moment's hesitation, I roll my eyes.
"Screw it," I huff, pushing the needle into the vein inside my elbow and pressing down on the plunger. The serum burns; I screw my eyes shut to prepare for the worst, but it fades quickly. I open my eyes to see a bruise quickly forming where I inserted the needle. Sighing, I toss the syringe in the trash and lay back again. Hardly seconds later, a firm knock comes to the door. I ignore it, standing and grabbing my towel off the floor.
"Hey, Vi! Ya in there?"
"Showering, Cid," I call. He huffs.
"Ya weren't plannin' on it 'til just now, now get yer ass out here."
I sigh and throw the towel onto my bed before opening the door for the nosy pilot.
"What?"
"I was just wonderin' about what happened in the cave," Cid replies, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. "Yer not gonna leave Vin hangin', are ya?"
"I have… other things to think about," I brush him off and head back into my room. Untying my cloak, I hang it on the hook and grab my towel. Cid follows me stubbornly, a scowl ever-present on his face.
"Like what?" He doesn't wait for my answer. "Kid, we know ya got problems, but ya can't let bein' a hypocrite be one of 'em."
"Cid, I'm getting undressed," I snap.
"I don't give a shit! Vin's been tryin' to kill what he's been feelin' for ya this whole time, and now yer just gonna dump him in the trash."
"Why do you care?" I demand. Whatever. I'm not waiting for him to leave. I turn my back to him and pull my shirt up over my head and willing him not to be a perv. Cid's a good guy, at least, and he has the decency to turn to the window while he lectures me.
"Cuz he's my friend, and you are too. I'm not tryin' tog et up y'all's business or anything, but come on." He knocks his forehead against the glass, obviously frustrated. I kick the bathroom shut until it's only open a crack and continue getting undress while he talks. "If only ya knew what's runnin' through the poor guy's head half the time." I think I might have an idea.
"Huh," I mutter, "Is that all?"
"Dammit, Violet!" Cid growls. "I'll drag ya to his room right now, naked ass and all, just to apologize!"
"Pervert," I retort, testing the water to see if it's heated up. Instinctively, my fingers jerk away from the spray of the showerhead. I sigh. "Seriously, get out." With that, I shut the bathroom door for good. I don't care if he continues to rant at me while I'm in here. He's one of the few people I might consider a friend, but in situations like this, he's bound to defend one of his own kind—a man. Not to mention that he thinks he and Vincent are the best of buddies. I sigh, glancing at my battered reflection in the mirror. Oh well.
"We're almost to Midgar, Captain Highwind," Cid's pilot calls. Cid nods, playing with the spear that rests on his shoulder. He looks up when I enter the room. My stomach still aches from the Gelnika, and I think whatever was in that syringe is giving me a headache, but thankfully no one notices my inconvenient aches and pains. Shadow really needs to pick up the pace on this healing thing.
"Good. We've been waitin' a real long time." He looks behind me and grins. "Hey, Vin! Finally outta yer room, huh?"
"I heard we are nearly there," Vincent replies coolly.
"That we are," Nanaki nods, scratching behind his ear.
Perhaps I can have a go at Hojo myself?
Why can't you just leave me alone?
I'll break out.
"No, you won't," I grit out loud. Cid frowns, Nanaki cocks his head to the side, and Vincent's eyes meet mine, but no one else seems to notice. Shaking my head, I head to the front of the ship.
"I think she's crazy, Vin," Cid mutters.
"Only troubled," Nanaki replies, shaking his head.
"So 'm I," Cid chuckles, "but I ain't no demon possessed schizophrenic."
"Neither is she," Vincent murmurs, taking long strides to stand at my side.
"Ugh," I huff, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Know any magical headache removal techniques?"
"Not unless they involve bullets," Vincent replies.
"Hey, I'll take it," I sigh, leaning forward against the rail and watching Midgar approach quickly. Get ready, Hojo. Here we come.