"Forgive you?" Sam squeaked, shoving me away from her.

"Please," I begged, trying to staunch the hurt feeling that was taking over.

She didn't answer me. She turned away from me, reaching for her bedroom light and taking her sweet time doing it.

"Sam, don't ignore me like this," I pleaded her.

"I don't want to fight with you," she whispered, so low I almost missed it.

I felt a strong sense of relief as she said those words. Thank God I hadn't totally fucked this up. I didn't know what I would do if I had. There was something between us – something achingly real that I was frightened to describe – and I didn't think I could handle losing it.

"Thank god," I murmured.

Sam finally turned to face me. I felt her eyes flick across me as I also took her in. Her violet eyes tightened as she fell against the door, palms flat against the wood.

I knew I had to say something more.

"I was so stupid," I admitted. "I reacted in a way I shouldn't have and we both suffered from it. I just – I feel so wrong about this relationship sometimes." I shoved my hand through my hair, before bringing it down and rubbing my neck anxiously – the same way I always did when I was nervous.

"What do you mean?" Sam squeaked.

I let my arm fall back against my side. Now, I had to be as honest with her as I possibly could without revealing the big truth to her.

"Do you want to sit down?" I suggested, floating to the end of her bed.

She climbed up near the headboard, bringing a pillow up to her chest and wrapping her arms tightly around it. "So? What do you mean?"

I thought carefully, considering my words. I didn't want to lie about my feelings but I needed to be careful – I couldn't reveal too much, though Sam was constantly tempting me to do such a thing.

"I'm not for you," I finally choked out, though my conversation with Tucker was present in mind. Maybe I was for Sam; maybe this thing between us was meant to be more beautiful than I would ever experience. "You're a beautiful, living girl who has so much ahead of her. And what am I? I'm this ghost who can't even let you get too close."

No matter what Sam and I could have been, I had killed it the first time I'd introduced myself as Phantom with no intention of ever letting her know the truth.

Sam narrowed her eyes at me. "You can let me get close, you just won't."

"I shared something with you and it blew up," I snapped, but quickly went on. "That's my fault too. I should have been smarter than to get involved with you, but I did. And it's been the most magnificent months of my entire existence."

There was fucking adrenaline in my body from being so fucking honest. I should have been smarter but I'd never been known for my brain. And yet, sometimes the dunce hits on something perfect. And my something perfect was Sam. I looked at her face, her pale face with her wide purple eyes and her dark, dark hair framing her head and I suddenly knew. This thing between us - though many things – was, above all else, love.

I was fucking in love with a girl and she wasn't my girlfriend.

Shit.

"I just don't know what to do," I breathed, my realization felt like a boulder; as though Vlad was throwing me into a wall; as if a building was crumbling around me.

Sam spread her arms open and I took the invitation the moment it was offered. I curled in her arms, twining my own around her. This was where she belonged. This was where she fit. And I'd fucked it up from the beginning and, oh fuck, oh fuck, I was in love with this girl.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, I'm sorry too," Sam assured me.

"You don't have to be!" I gasped. "I messed up. I messed up so bad."

Tucker was right. I shouldn't have been a dick to her as Fenton. And I should have told her the truth. It was a scary prospect – having someone I hadn't known for most of my life know my secret, actually having the words cross my lips – but it was nowhere near as scary as knowing that I loved her and she hated parts of me.

"You didn't mess up. I'm right here. I'm right here."

I tightened my grip on her. She couldn't go anywhere, she just couldn't. "You're the most amazing person. You are too good for this world."

She was too good for a world full of Paullina's and Fenton's – people who would only hurt her in the end; people who didn't even deserve to know her name.

"Don't speak like that," Sam soothed.

"It's true," I insisted, tilting my head to look her in the eyes. Would I ever get to see her again after tonight or had I already pushed her away too far? "Do you forgive me?"

"You running away from me, it hurt," Sam admitted, staring back at me. "I thought you were never coming back. I thought that I would never get to see or talk to you again."

"I'm awful, I know!" I turned away from her, tucking my head into her shoulder. "Please, tell me this isn't the last time I get to hold you."

Everything else I could sort out later but right now, I just needed to know that we were solid.

"This isn't the last time you get to hold me," Sam confirmed.

I exhaled, relief flooding me better than any drug I'd ever taken.

We shimmied down the bed and I pulled the blanket up, knowing I would freeze her if I didn't.

"The light," Sam murmured in the middle of my action.

I rolled my eyes, trying to make the night easy and us rather than heavy and hurting. "You're going to make me get up?" I asked.

"Someone's gotta turn it off," Sam insisted, lightly pushing me out of bed.

"I'll do it … on one condition," I compromised.

"Condition?" Sam demanded.

"Yes, condition."

"What kind of condition?" She asked, slightly suspicious of me.

"You tell me everything you did this weekend." What had I missed of her life while I was off being all dramatic and useless?

"Well, at ten thirty-two I woke up to have a pee. That kind of detail?" She questioned with a shit-eating grin.

"My girlfriend is gross," I smirked, turning off the light as she'd asked.

"You asked for it," she said defensively.

"Seriously," I pushed, curling around her again. "What did you do while I wasn't here?"

"I went to cheerleading practice on Friday, listened to Valerie rage and Paullina gloat – that was fun."

"Raging and gloating?" I snorted – she had Valerie and Paullina down in one word each. Though thinking about the two of them only made me think about Valerie – rampaging through the streets – and Paullina – curled up in a hospital; this made me feel guilty too. I couldn't help Valerie in my new life and I was with another girl while my original girlfriend was injured. "Sounds … fun?"

"It wasn't. It was all about Fenton," she sneered.

"What did he do? Did he sleep with Valerie again?" I didn't know if I wanted to hear Sam's recap of the Nasty Burger, but I didn't see how I could avoid it.

"No! That's the worst part – she wishes he had. Sleeping with Fenton? I can't imagine it."

I could.

"But she's in love with him and Paullina slept with him."

Hold the motherfucking phone! Valerie was still in love with me?

"I hate high school girls. And then, at the Nasty Burger, Valerie threw Paullina into a wall after Paullina turned into a total bitch on Valerie."

"Is Paullina okay?" I asked, because it would be weird if I didn't.

"I was told she would be. And they caught Valerie. I just want them both to be okay."

"Even Paullina?"

"She's a bitch but she doesn't deserve to be thrown into a wall."

Sam was so sweet.

"But do we have to talk about them?" Sam continued. "Can't you just kiss me and then cuddle me until I fall asleep?"

I could totally do that.

I slid my fingers under her chin and gently leaned us together. I hovered over Sam's lips, watching her beautiful face go from breathless anticipation to slight annoyance – all aimed at me. I smirked.

"Kiss me!" Sam cried.

"Patience young grasshopper," I instructed.

"You're really doing this right now?"

"No," I said.

I slammed my lips against hers in a wild kiss – like one of those comic book kisses. You know, smack and all that nonsense.

"That was some kiss," Sam exclaimed but it had her laughing.

"Babe, you ain't seen nothing yet," I assured her, taking her lips once more.

(-.-)

Jazz woke me up around five A.M. on Monday morning.

"Jazz?" I yawned, reaching up to rub the sleep from my eyes. I then pulled myself into a sitting position, not caring that the blanket fell away from my body – Jazz knew all of my scars; had even attended to most of them. "I didn't know you were here last night."

"I wasn't." Jazz shook her head. "I wanted to get over here and talk to you before anyone else had a chance to tell you."

"Tell me what? Jazz, you're scaring me."

"You know my roommate?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, Val's Mom's best friend's daughter or some complicated shit like that." She was the closest thing Val had to a friend in the past few years, which was really sad considering the two of them barely talked. "What about her?"

"Val's dad called her about three this morning. Danny," Jazz gently touched my face before going on, "Valerie committed suicide last night."

I blanched. Valerie was dead? I knew the police had her, and I knew that it would take a long time to get the Paullina mess sorted out, but I figured she would persevere, like Valerie always did. Nothing stopped Valerie Gray.

"No!"

"I know you weren't close in the past few years but I know she was very special to you once and feelings like that don't just disappear."

Oh my god. This was the first time anyone really close to me had died (Ember didn't count; she was dead when I knew her and I knew she was moving onto a better place). It was difficult to think that she was no longer on Earth. It was hard to think that a girl that I had once kissed was now a girl who would never kiss anyone again.

"Danny?" Jazz prodded. "What are you feeling right now?"

"Disbelief," I revealed instantly. "It's just … even after all we went through, even when we didn't talk, it was typical to see her at Casper every day. It's going to be so strange to go and she's not going to be there. I mean, I was prepared for her not to be there – what with being in police custody and all – but now it's not like she's missing from school, she's missing from life, you know?"

"I know." Jazz reached over and ran a hand through my hair, one of my favourite soothing motions. "I'm sorry, Danny."

I shook my head. "You know what sucks?"

"What?"

"After the whole Paullina thing, people are going to be really shitty about this."

"You don't know that. For all you know, people will give her the respect she deserves. Valerie was a sweet, wonderful girl and I know that a lot of people saw that in her. She made one wrong action but that won't taint people's image of her."

I smiled weakly at my optimistic sister. She hadn't been out of high school that long but it seemed she had forgotten how cruel they could be. Still, I went to Casper hoping that people weren't going to be total bitches about Val.

You know, sometimes I hate it when I'm right.

I don't own anything recognizable. Thanks to my betas: forever sky.

~TLL~