A/N:

Hope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.

One Year of Haven

It'd taken forever and a day for me to even stand up for more than a half hour, but now I was helping around in Haven to keep things at peace. L took care of me along with his adoptive father Watari, and soon he allowed me to roam free among the gardens and trees of Haven. I'd feared greatly for a titan to show up when I first went out, but nowadays I didn't care. I was safe here in Haven, or so Naomi Misora had told me. She'd been one of the first people in Haven after L and Wammy. There had been others but they were long gone now, eaten by titans or off to find new Havens. Naomi, Penber, Rester, Gevanni, Lidner, Ross, Aiber, Wedy, and lastly Near were all residents of Haven. And each one had something special to bring to the table.

Aiber and Wedy had come from beyond wall Rose after fleeing the Garrison for conning people on the streets. They found a way out from the wall and ran into titan territory where Watari found them and brought them in. They were sneaky, sly, and knew how to get in and out of the walls without being caught anymore. If supplies was needed, they could help.

Ross I'd heard about from my father. A soldier gone bad, he went underground and made a name for himself by taking in protection money from the richer people of wall Sina. His business didn't get very far though since he was taken down by the military and thrown into the titan infested lands with a bag over his head. He apparently went wondering about until Naomi found him and brought him to Haven. He was strong and kept the peace by getting between people in fights, which happened more than one would expect in a place called 'Haven'.

Naomi Misora and Raye Penber were part of the Military Police until they fell for each other. When it was said to them that actions like that were strictly prohibited from the military, they eloped together and found solace with L in his home. I suppose some endings aren't always bad.

Anthony Rester, Stephen Gevanni, and Halle Lidner were all undercover spies from the military. They were hired on the side to look into the nobility and find any secrets they could about what they were hiding. Unfortunately they were caught in the act by one of the members from the survey corps and were sentenced to death by titans. Surprisingly, Near had stepped in the way of all the titans upon them and ran them to the safety of Haven. The three have dedicated their lives to the small white haired young man, and each one works with him in whatever task he needs them for.

As for Near himself… no one knows how he got to Haven. He was just always there. L had taken him in, gave him a home, and never spoke about his past. I guess I couldn't fault him for wanting to stay silent about it, but it made him look shifty to me.

I limped toward the bench and sat down thankfully, revelling in the smells of nature. Real nature with real trees and real sunlight. It had been a harsh year for me, but now things were starting to look better on my end. Perhaps L knew more about the outdoors than he let on. Maybe he could help me find the sea…

…to find it for Armin.

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding and leaned back into my seat, feeling tears run down from my eyes.

"I miss you little brother." I whispered to no one.

I missed everyone back home. I missed my mother and father, Matt and my little sisters, even Eren and Mikasa I missed. But more than anyone I missed Armin. I missed waking up and seeing him asleep in bed, peaceful and dreaming of the sea. I missed making him smile when I brought home treats from the market, and I missed reading to him before bed. I'd cried every night for about two months when I realized I shared a room with no one. When I realized I was all alone and had no family to think about.

What was even worse was when I woke up happy one day, humming and thinking about everything being alright for a change, and I went to the kitchen early in the morning and made Armin's favourite breakfast…

…only to feel my heart shatter when I set the plate down for him, and realized he wasn't anywhere near me anymore.

Watari had comforted me that morning when he found me sitting at the table and staring off into nothingness. He'' told me I wasn't far from home and that someday I'd see them all again. But just the thought of me forgetting I was truly alone, and remembering it so suddenly broke me in ways I didn't understand.

I'd wanted to be free from my responsibilities… but not like this.

I was once told by someone that a broken heart was the hardest to mend. And I only realized how true that was when I'd lost everything.

My first few months in Haven were exactly the opposite of it. It was pure hell on earth. Ross mocked me or hit on me, no one trusted me, and more than a few people disrespected me for being so closed off. It wasn't until Naomi got involved and explained to them everyone and everything I'd lost and how much I was hurting. She'd yelled and demanded they apologized to me, which a few of them did, but I felt more helpless after that than ever. Even L was giving me strange looks.

The only one to not tease or ruin me further was Near, and I couldn't have been more thankful of that.

Near was silent and grateful, never making me feel less than what I was. He helped me to come out of my shell a bit more and teach me a few things about what Haven was like. It was nice having someone actually around to help me out and get me out and into the gardens.

As I sat there, thinking about my family back home, the little ball of white himself walked in from the path and sat next to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a quieter voice.

I shrugged, feeling my heart clench in pain. "Just thinking about my family."

He was silent for a moment before asking me, "Was 'Matt' part of your family?"

I looked at the young man with a questioning face. "How do you know…?"

"You talk in your sleep." He explained. "You screaming 'Matt' in your sleep and I was just wondering… was he…?"

I looked away then and choked down my tears. "I don't know. I let go of his hand to save his life, but I don't know if he did or didn't survive the rest of the attack. I hope he did. I don't know if I can live with myself if I knew I lived and Matt didn't." I sighed then and answered his question. "He was part of my family, yes, but he was more of an… add on. We became intimate and my family accepted him as our own."

"And… you loved him?" He asked.

I nodded. "Very much so."

Before the younger could ask any more questions we heard the sound of clanking metal and gear shifting around. Before long we saw two of the Haven guests walk up to the porch where L was to speak with him.

Aiber and Wedy had been gone for days now. A week or more maybe. But where had they gone?

As if he read my mind, Near answered me with, "Surveillance mission. We're collecting data from the attack and recon mission."

Recon mission? What did he mean…

…oh god… they didn't…

…they couldn't have…

My father once explained that the 'recon missions' were a cover up for getting rid of loose ends. People who were taking up too much space and too much food. They'd done it in the past…

…and it looks like they did it again.

L addressed them with the matter. "So what did you find?"

"It was incredible," Aiber began, "there were titan bodies everywhere thanks to this one soldier named Matt! He ever got a medal of honours, but the guy just chucked it over the wall!"

He gave the medal to L who took it with his index finger and thumb to study it better.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I stood to run over to L. "Matt's alive!? Thank god!"

"You knew him?" Aiber asked.

I nodded at him with a smile. "You could say we're… really close friends."

"Rolling in the hay with a soldier." Wedy giggled out. "I like your style, kid."

L handed the medal over to me. "Take care of it for the moment. He may want it back when he sees you again."

I nodded once more and hugged the medal to my chest. "Thank you!"

"As for the head count?" L asked.

"After the recon…" Aiber stated, "No more than a few hundred from Shiganshina. Keehl and most of his family made it out though, and his son's looking to becoming a soldier in the family. They sadly lost their eldest son in the attack. Everyone's devastated."

I kept quiet at this and watched as L calculated the events. All the while staying silent about my connection to them.

"At least Memphis survived. He was the only one brave enough to face the outside and get through it alive. What about Grisha's family?"

"His son lives, and the young girl he took in, but he and his wife are gone. Kalura dead, and Grisha MIA."

"I see…" L hummed out. "Any other news you bring?"

"Some nobles are mistrustful of the people from Shiganshina and are looking to getting rid of them in one way or another," Wedy added, "and there was some suspicious activity from outside the wall. Some kind of… scientific experimental process. It looked like they were testing humans with something."

I felt Near cringe in behind me and I could swear I heard his heart beating faster now.

"Well then, we'll have to look into it." L figured. "It looks like the walls may be coming down in the next few years."

"How do you know?" I asked worriedly.

The man looked at me. "Isn't it obvious? People are starting to revolt, food crisis is high, and now with this attack people are more on edge than before. Titans got through wall Maria, so it may lead to others being destroyed as well."

"They only got through because of that monstrous one though!" I exclaimed. "It was gigantic… COLOSSAL! It merely kicked a hole through the wall!"

"You saw it up close!?" Aiber asked in amazement. "How big was it?! What did it want?!"

"It didn't go after humans like the others." I replied. "It just got through the wall. And if Wall Maria f fifty metres high, then this one had to be no more than five metres above that. I'm telling you, the colossal titan is the only one to get through the wall. Him and the armoured titan!"

"Armoured titan?" L suddenly seemed shocked. "What do you mean by…armoured?"

"I mean this thing couldn't be killed with simple blades alone!" I spoke frantically, memories flooding back to me of trying to out run the beast. "It shook the wall with each hit, and it decimated buildings! You can't fight it! It's completely useless!"

The three adults in front of me paled fearfully. I guess the news took them by surprise.

"We saw the colossal titan," L muttered out, "but with the armoured titan it's more than useless to try and save the human race in those walls. We'll have to evacuate them."

"But how?" Aiber asked. "Even if we managed to get a few to come with us, we can't house them all here. Titans will find them and eat them even if it means braving the water."

"Water?" I questioned. "Do they not like water?"

"Not exactly," L explained, pointing out to the forest. "Beyond that forest is a mass of water known as the sea. The salt from the sea becomes airborne and sticks to the air and trees like a web. When titans walk through it, their skin burns and melts off. It's one of the many reasons why we live here far from other places."

The thought of the sea and how close we truly were gave my heart an ounce of hope now. Enough to find the courage to convey my thoughts about all this.

I turned to the man once more and stood a bit taller. "We won't be able to relocate them, not without fixing their problems first."

"What do you mean 'We'?" Wedy asked.

"I mean I want to help. There are enough people there who want to see what's outside the walls, but back there it's their home. With one of the walls down the military is probably preparing for more soldiers to be trained. They may try to take back the wall and end the titans for good. But I have a feeling it's a lot more difficult than that."

"How so?" L questioned, truly inquisitive. "You have an idea about what the titans really are?"

I shrugged. "Yes and no. But… don't you find it odd how human-like they all are? They all have a humanoid type of face, and they walk like humans do. So there might be a connection."

"And what do you intend to do to help them?" He suddenly asked. "This battle seems more like their problem than yours."

"You're wrong." I replied. "It's always been my problem. From the moment I first saw this world I've hated it. I hated watching my father march off into war and come back broken and tired. I hated hearing scream at night thanks to nightmares of those beasts killing off his comrades. I hated watching him trying to make us breakfast and forget he'd lost his arm to a titan, spilling and making a mess! I hated seeing my brother getting beaten up because he wanted to live outside the walls! And I hated seeing my family disintegrate in front of me because no one gave a damn enough to help us out in hard times! And what I hate more than any of that, is knowing that no one in the military had the balls to do anything about it. No one but Matt. And I'll be damned if I watch the people I once knew and loved die because everyone is too chicken-shit to get up and do something about it.

"Allow me to do this, L." I begged. "I want freedom, of course, but I can't allow everyone I love to die because of other's stupidity."

It was a long bout of silence between me and the man before he finally grinned at me.

"You really are Memphis' kid, aren't you." Came the reply, shocking Aiber and Wedy. "The training will be difficult, and you aren't fully healed. You're okay with this?"

I nodded. "Anything to help out humanity."

"I'm giving you one last warning, Mihael Keehl. The training you'll endure is harder, heavier, and would make even your father cry under pressure. I train only those who are willing, and through that will you must find a purpose for what you're fight for. My purpose was for humanity and those who deserved a second shot at life. What is your purpose?"

I clenched my teeth and spoke. "For my loved ones."

He didn't seem convinced but sighed in defeat anyway. "We'll start tomorrow. You need strength and endurance training in order to go through the last portion of my training. We'll call this lesson one: Balance."

I nodded once again. "Tomorrow then at the crack of dawn."

He nodded back and turned around for the door. When he suddenly paused his step.

"Oh, and Mello?" He caught my attention. "I will not tolerate you giving up. It's this, or you're out of Haven. Laziness like the military back home deserves to be titan food."

I glared at the man. "I'm anything but lazy, L. You should know that."

I could almost sense the grin. "Indeed."

With that, he was gone. Tomorrow my training would begin.

God help me be strong.