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Chapter 21: It's the Little Things

I don't know why I slapped him. Confused as I was, I supposed it was my only way of dealing with everything. He came here and kissed me, after everything we'd been through, like it was routine, normal. How dare he? Yet, even through my red haze of anger, I still couldn't put enough together to hate him. I wanted to damn him to hell but somehow that didn't seem as bad as hating him.

I didn't know how long I stood there for until Alice came in but she did, her face full of concern and worry. I didn't bother to look into her eyes. I was afraid that if I did, she'd know everything.

"Bella, are you alright?"

I looked down at my impossibly high heels and shrugged. "I just needed some time away from everyone. You know me," I laughed, forced it, "I don't want to be the center of attention."

"But it's your birthday."

Yeah, some birthday it was. I'd even got a birthday kiss from the devil himself. I wondered if Alice had known Edward was here or if he'd just snuck in, planted one on me, and left. At least he'd said Happy Birthday.

"I know." It was all I could really say.

"Well, come on," Alice urged, grabbing my elbow and nearly dragging me through the kitchen. "You have to say goodbye to everyone."

My eyes widened. "How long was I in there for?"

"Almost two hours."

I felt embarrassed. I had missed the entire party all because of him. Although I couldn't place blame on him completely, I felt like I had to place some. I shouldn't have let him come closer (not that I could've stopped him) and I shouldn't have kissed back. And the award for stupidity goes to Bella Swan. I felt like a bear stuck in a trap.

I felt Alice stop her forcing and saw her head crane to look at me. I didn't know if she understood how I felt or if she just somehow knew that I was in no mood to see everyone but she placed a small hand on my shoulder and then she was gone. Ten minutes later and she was back. I felt like I'd had very little time to even blink.

"Everyone is gone," Alice announced as she walked into the kitchen, "But Esme and Carlisle are coming back tomorrow." I nodded. I had wanted to say goodbye to them. "Are you okay? You kind of just disappeared. I saw Edward but he left pretty quickly. Did you guys fight?"

I wanted to tell her. I looked into her bright green eyes, her brother's eyes and so desperately wanted to tell her everything that had been going on. Maybe it would help me get over it. Or maybe it wouldn't, but I would feel some kind of relief, some kind of weight off my shoulders that seemed to be looming there day after day.

We spoke at the same time.

"Alice, I want to tell you something."

"Bella, I know what happened."

Our eyes met and I was shocked into silence. She was pleading with me to not get angry but I was too confused to feel anything other than shock. She knew. Oh god, she knew about Edward, she knew about the…the situation. I felt ashamed. I tried to look the other way but when she laid a hand on my arm, I knew I had to face the music.

"You know about…"

"I know why you were in the hospital."

She knew about the miscarriage. How had she known? Edward wouldn't have told her, being a doctor and patient privacy was a must. Or maybe he'd had a crazy moment and broke down and told her everything. No, that didn't sound like Edward. But neither did coming to my house just to say Happy Birthday and finish it off with a kiss.

"How did you know about that?"

She fidgeted. It wasn't a very 'Alice' thing to do. "I…I was worried about you Bella and you were being so quiet so I…kind of…snooped."

So, she had gone through Edward's files? It was the only way I could see her finding out. There was no other way she could have. I pulled my arm from her hand and stared at her, surprised and disappointed.

"You went through a doctor's files?"

"I was worried about you!"

"You could have come to me." I shouldn't have been so angry but I hadn't wanted anyone, most of all Alice to learn about my problems. I was willing to tell her too, only to find out she had known the whole time. "You knew and you didn't say anything."

"I didn't want to make you angry."

"Alice, you went through a doctor's files. You know you don't do that."

She looked guilty as she fingered her ring. "I…I'm sorry. You wouldn't have told me Bella! You've been so silent these past weeks. I didn't know what to do."

"I…Alice, please leave," I muttered, not looking at her. If I did, I would only feel sadness and I was tired of feeling like that. I heard her stand up and a few minutes later my front door opened and closed. I wanted to run and hug Alice, tell her that she was being a good best friend for worrying about me, but I just couldn't.

So, I did something I hadn't done in a while.

I slid down to the floor and cried.

-

It was noon when I woke up in my bed the next day. I didn't remember how I'd gotten there but I was sure my blank memories had something to do with the empty bottle of wine next to my bed. I glared at it and leaned back against my headboard, trying to rid the pain that shot through my head everytime I moved. I was almost glad that my tiny bout of amnesia was there. Of course, it didn't rid me of any of my memories before the wine came but it did a good job at making me forget them last night.

I felt guilty when I remembered the way I'd sent Alice away. I had been hurt that she'd went behind my back to learn that when I hadn't wanted anyone to know, happy that she'd done what she had because she worried about me and confused that she didn't confront me about it when she found out, weeks before. All of that, rolled together, apparently didn't make me a very happy cookie.

So, with a massive hangover and a few unwanted memories, I dragged myself from my bed to get ready for work. I had to go in for at least a few hours today to oversee a few things and I'd heard there was a problem within our staff that needed to be fixed. Yeah, I thought as I went through brief encounters between me and Edward.

Thankfully, I was dressed and on my way to work by one and I arrived no later than one fifteen. I'd taken some Tylenol in hopes that it would take my headache away but so far, it hadn't done a damn thing; so much for quick relief. As I walked into the hospital, I was greeted by the usual Sunday nurses sitting at the station and a few receptionists. I nodded a greeting to them but found it hard to smile.

I was glad, for once, that my office was a little farther from the clinic than it should've been. I didn't think I could take the noise from the sick and hurting patients. Actually, I didn't think I could take anything right now. Maybe a few more pain relievers would do the trick. I unlocked my door and stepped inside.

There, sitting on my desk, was my fourth surprise of the weekend. Instead of my organized paperwork and orderly files, my desk was covered with flowers. I raised my brows when I realized that they were roses, a very intimate flower, in my opinion. I set my bag down and walked closer, fingering the petals. There wasn't a card, not one I could see anyway so I let my mind wander.

A knock on the door pulled me from the flowers and I turned in time to see Jacob entering. I gave him a small smile and he leaned over to see the roses behind me. He gave a bright smile and mine immediately fell. Before he could look my way though, I faked another smile and tried to find an excuse to have him leave.

"Nice flowers," he commented, gesturing towards them with a nod on his head. His smile grew bigger, if possible.

"Thanks. They didn't seem to come with a card."

"Maybe you have a secret admirer," he suggested. He didn't move closer but I could tell that he wanted to. His voice seemed strained, pleading even.

I tried to look pleased as I said, "Maybe I do." I was sure I was beginning to look more and more like a maniac with every passing second. My smile tightened and I moved closer to my desk.

"I just wanted to see how you were."

"I'm well Jacob," I answered quickly; "I have a lot of paperwork to do, if you don't mind." His cheeks flushed red before he smiled, gave a little wave and left. I felt the relief flow out as I breathed in and out. So, the flowers were from Jacob? It made sense. Who else would send me flowers?

I knew who I had hoped they would've been from. Don't even go there, I reminded myself. You don't like him, he broke your heart, he's an arrogant asshole…and the list went on. To distract myself, I began taking the flowers off my desk and trying to hide them from any patient or fellow doctor who happened to walk into my office that afternoon.

Just as I placed the final vase behind my chair, the door opened again. I couldn't see who it was but I heard their footsteps stop at my desk. Deciding I'd better be a professional, I stood up and saw Edward practically leaning over me to see behind my desk. I stepped in front of his view but I knew he'd seen the flowers from his raised eyebrows.

"It's not what it looks like." I wondered why I was giving excuses. We weren't dating. We didn't even like each other.

"Those are some nice flowers." Ah, I see what we were back to. Coming by my office to pick on me or drop the occasional smartass comment. It was like last night hadn't even happened. Or maybe it didn't. I was probably going crazy.

"What are you doing here?"

He smiled. It wasn't genuine but it was the closest it would come. I vaguely wondered if he even had a genuine smile. "I just wanted to see if you got them."

My mouth dropped open as he left my office with a smug smile. He sent the flowers? Part of me was relieved that it wasn't Jacob but then again, I was angry that it was Edward. Why was he sending me flowers, kissing me Happy Birthday (if that had happened)? My head spun with confusion and I wanted to know if there was some kind of motive behind all this.

I left my paperwork by itself in my office to follow Edward up to his. I was going to get to the bottom of this. I wasn't going to be heartbroken, again, by the same man who'd done it the first time. I nearly punched the button for the second floor once I entered the elevator. I didn't even care about the looks some people were giving me.

As soon as the doors opened, I was out, stomping towards his office, ready for the fight I knew would ensue. As sure as the sky was blue, Edward was sitting in his chair, watching the door when I came rushing through it. If I hadn't known any better, I'd say he had been waiting for me.

"What is your problem?" Good way to start a conversation, Bella.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean, sending me flowers, kissing me and then leaving!"

"You slapped me." So it had happened. It's good to know that you're not going crazy.

"You kissed me!"

I had moved closer to him, leaning on his desk as I yelled at him. I didn't want to fight, honestly, but I wanted to know why he was trying to kill me; emotionally, at least. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited till our eyes met.

"Alice knows."

Surprisingly (to me), he looked down a moment before our eyes met again. "I know." That was just the topping to my sundae.

"What? Did you accidentally let her have the file? Left it out so she'd have easy access? Do you want to ruin any semblance of a connection I have to your family so you won't have to deal with me anymore?"

"Dammit, you think this is all about you!" That was the first time he'd ever yelled at me. Oh, he'd gone off on me before but I knew that it had been playful. But now, he was yelling at me and I had to say it was quite frightening. "I didn't give Alice anything. She came in here and stuck her nose in places it shouldn't have been."

I couldn't say anything, one again struck silent because of something that was so true. Edward was standing now, defensively and I still had my arms crossed. We were both too tense to do anything other than stare.

"I hate you," he blurted after a few more moments of silence. Yes, that was the fifth surprise of my weekend, the most painful. He had never said those words to me and I had never wanted to hear them. It felt he had plunged a knife into my heart and I was slowly bleeding now. It stung, hearing those words from his mouth being directed at me. I felt the tears watering in my eyes but I tried to hold them back. I wouldn't cry in front of him.

With that in mind, I left.

-

EPOV:

I watched her leave and I knew she was crying before she had even left my office. I felt the guilt grab me like a vice and squeeze me tightly. I wanted to go after her but my feet were planted firmly in the spot I was standing, unmoved. I hadn't meant to say the harsh words but, like everything else, they had come out in the heat of the moment.

I didn't hate her. I hated the way she made me feel. I didn't like it and so, I pushed her away. But it was for the better, for her. No one wanted to be with Edward Cullen. Sometimes I didn't even want to be stuck with myself.

I sat down in my chair and pulled a file from underneath all the papers that cluttered my desk. I fingered the sides before I opened it and read over every detail. I always felt sick to my stomach when I read it but I couldn't help myself. Sometimes, I wondered myself how things would've gone if I had never gotten this file, never had to.

It was then that I seemed to have a moment of realization.

And, for once, I chose to listen to it.

-

I know, I know. You're all probably thinking 'not more unhappiness'. In all honesty, I can't have things go that smoothly for them. But, I let you get into Edward's head a little to find out how he feels about all this. The next chapter will be posted by next Tuesday at the latest. I want to tell you all that sadly, my story is coming to an end. I read that some of you are wanting a sequel and maybe I'll get the urge to write one, but for now, there is no sequel in the works.

Thank you so much for the reviews guys! It makes me happy that so many of you stuck by my story even when I was being a lazy writer :)