Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Twenty

Bella smiled when she saw the lights in the windows of Edward's apartment. It was one of their few nights off together, and the fact that he was already home meant that they'd have the whole night to spend together. She'd even worked extra hard that day to make sure that she wouldn't have any homework to distract her that evening. Anticipation bubbled excitedly inside her as she realized that Edward would have told Jane the truth, and he'd finally be free.

Winter break was only a few days away, and Bella couldn't wait to spend the time with Edward. Her mother had begged her to come home, but she'd refused, using too much schoolwork as an excuse, but she really just wanted to be with Edward.

She turned the key he'd given her the week before in the lock and swung the door open. She inhaled deeply as the aroma of cooking food washed over her. Apparently, she wasn't the only one in the mood to celebrate. Bella grinned. Edward was cooking. She'd been delightfully surprised to learn what a good cook Edward was. He'd cooked for her several times during the course of their relationship, and she'd enjoyed his food immensely each time.

"Hello?" she called, setting her backpack by the door. She knew she'd more than likely be spending the night there, but it'd be nice to be able to find her backpack quickly in the morning. She'd spent almost every night with Edward since Jane had woken up. There was something comforting about the fact that he spent each night in her arms, even if he spent most of his days in Jane's company. Bella had reminded herself a hundred times during the past week that Jane wasn't a rival—if anything she was someone to be sympathized with—but every once in a while, Bella's jealous side surfaced.

"Hey there," Edward called from the kitchen. "You're just in time. Dinner's almost ready."

She smiled as she entered the kitchen. "It smells amazing. Can I help with anything?" she asked after giving him a quick kiss and a hug.

"Nope. Just have a seat," he said, smirking and winking at her as he set a steaming pot down on the table.

She obeyed, and Edward grabbed a loaf of crusty bread out of the oven. "Spaghetti Carbonara," he said as he sat down across from her. Bella's eyes were wide, and her mouth watered as he scooped out a heaping portion of spaghetti for her.

"Thank you." She smiled as she picked up her fork.

He grinned in response, and they began eating. Their conversation was sparse as they both twirled their forks, scooping up mouthfuls of spaghetti and breaking off hunks of crusty bread. It wasn't until Bella felt as if she couldn't eat another bite that she sighed and tossed her napkin onto her plate.

She sighed. "Good looking and a good cook. How did I get so lucky?"

Edward laughed and shook his head at her. "I don't know."

She grinned back at him, feeling truly content. "So how was your day? How did things go with Jane?" Immediately, Bella sensed something was wrong. Edward's expression darkened, and he didn't seem to be able to meet her gaze anymore. "Edward? You did talk to Jane, right?" she asked, ducking her head in an effort to get him to look at her.

Edward wiped his mouth on his napkin and finally looked at her. "No," he said simply.

Bella felt her hands shake in her lap, and a cold trickle of ice crept painfully down her spine. "No?" she asked unnecessarily. "What happened?" She worked to keep her voice even.

He sighed. "There was an incident today. She fell."

"Is she all right?" Bella asked, her concern genuine. Although she wanted Jane out of their lives, she wished her no harm.

"She seems to be. But it really shook her up. She's not doing very well, Bella. Her therapist told me that her recovery is going to take longer than they first thought."

Bella stared at Edward for a moment, torn between anger and sympathy for the anguish and guilt that she knew he must be feeling. "I'm sorry to hear that. What's changed? I thought she was doing well," she said, fighting to keep the anger at bay.

Edward shrugged. "She was, but it's just so difficult. I can't imagine being in her position. She has to learn to do a lot of things again from scratch, and it's all my fault."

Bella was unsurprised by the torture in his voice. If there was anything that was going to keep Edward from setting things straight with Jane, it was his guilt. He was far too hard on himself, but she had no idea how to get him to see that. She sighed and leaned back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest. "So what's your plan now, then?" she asked, unable to hide the impatience she felt.

Edward glanced at her guiltily. "Her therapist thinks that if I'm there for most of her sessions, she'll do better. He says she responds better to me than she does to just him."

Bella's mouth fell open. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "So, let me get this straight," she said, sitting up in her chair. "Not only did you not tell Jane that you've moved on, now the plan is for you to spend more time with her?"

Edward sighed in response.

"I can't believe this. I don't even know what to say right now," she said. "This is…" She faded off, unable to find the words to express how she felt.

"I know," Edward said quietly. "I know. It's too much, but I don't know what else to do. How can I abandon her now when they're telling me that I might be the key to her recovering? I'm the reason she's in there in the first place!" His voice grew firmer with each word, and Bella felt an awful realization dawn.

"You're never going to be done," she said quietly, more to herself than to Edward.

"What?" he asked.

"This is never going to end. You feel so guilty and so tied to her that you're going to let her keep you sucked in forever," she said. "You're never going to be done." The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. It was both terrifying and freeing at the same time.

"Bella, that's not true," Edward said, shaking his head.

"No," Bella said, secure in her newfound epiphany. "It's true. I know you now. You are so consumed by the guilt that you feel over Jane that you're going to let her manipulate you forever."

"Bella, you're not being fair." He lifted his hand as if to reach out to her, but then thought better of it and crossed his arms across his chest.

"I'm not being fair?" she repeated, growing angrier. "I'm not being fair? Are you kidding me? I've stood by while you played the doting boyfriend for a week, Edward. How can you possibly say that?"

Edward suddenly seemed flustered. "That's not what I meant. Of course you've been more than fair. I just mean that you don't understand what Jane and I are going through."

Bella fought the urge to laugh. It was all so clear now. "That's just it, Edward. You said it yourself. 'Jane and I.' You can't separate yourself from her. This accident has linked you two together in a way that I'll never be able to separate."

Edward sat back in his chair, his jaw clenching as he looked at Bella. "So what are you saying?"

Bella thought for a moment, trying to get the thousand thoughts that were flying through her mind in order. What was she saying? Suddenly, she knew. Again, she felt both extremely liberated and undeniably saddened by the knowledge. "I'm done," she said simply.

He stared at her blankly for a moment. "Seriously?"

Bella sighed and gave him a sad smile. "I can't do this, Edward. I can't wait around to be the first priority in your life. You feel responsible for Jane—I get that. But no one expects you to spend your life trying to make things up to her—except maybe you."

"Bella…" Edward whispered. "I don't have any right to ask you for this. I know I've asked for too much already, but I'm asking anyway. Please don't go." His voice broke, and the resolve that Bella had felt so strongly only moments before wavered.

"Edward…" she whispered. "I love you so much. Nothing could ever change that."

"I love you too, Bella. I don't want to be with anyone but you."

"But you can't be. You can't promise me that you won't see Jane anymore. I know you can't," she said.

Edward's silence was all the confirmation she needed. She smiled sadly and stood. She leaned in and kissed him, putting all the love, and also sorrow, she could muster into that kiss. When it was over, she straightened up and walked out of the kitchen. She grabbed her backpack by the door and left, never once looking back. She knew that if she turned around, if she looked back, there was the possibility that she'd see his face and change her mind completely.

Once outside, she pulled her sweater around herself, the cold she felt having nothing to do with the weather outside. She walked, and as she walked, she listened. She told herself that even if she'd heard him frantically calling her name behind her, she wouldn't have stopped, wouldn't have turned around and gone back, but she knew deep down she probably would have. But it didn't matter anyway, because the night was still and quiet. There were no desperate cries begging her to return to rent the air and test her resolve.

She arrived at her dorm and found it blissfully empty. She didn't bother to turn on the lights. Instead, she dropped her backpack inside the door and climbed onto her bed. It seemed so much smaller than the bed she'd been sleeping in all week, and the thought of once again sleeping alone in a tiny bed was what finally broke her.

Once the tears started, she didn't know how to stop them. Alice came home a short time later and was dismayed to find a shaking, sobbing, blubbering Bella.

"What happened?" she asked repeatedly, but Bella could only manage to get out one word: "Edward." In the end, Alice ended up just sitting next to Bella on the bed, rubbing her back and handing her tissues as Bella cried uncontrollably. Finally, Bella's tears dried up. She was quite sure it was because she had no more left to cry. She felt dead inside, drained and empty like the discarded husk of some once beautiful flower.

"I want to talk to my mom," she said quietly.

Happy to be able to do something helpful, Alice sprang into action. "Okay, let me get your phone. Here, I'll dial for you," she said, and she handed Bella her phone. "Do you want me to step out so you can have some privacy?"

Bella nodded appreciatively as the phone rang in her ear. She had no idea what she was going to say to her mother, but she knew she wanted to talk to her.

"Hi, Bells," her mom said cheerfully.

"Mom…" Bella said, her voice cracking.

"Oh, baby…what's wrong?"

To Bella's amazement, the tears began again, and it took her several moments before she could speak again. "It's Edward, Mom."

"What happened?"

"We had a fight. Well, it wasn't really a fight, but it's done. We're…over." The words sounded so final to Bella's ears, it was actually painful to say them. It was as if they drove home the point that all her tears couldn't. She and Edward were no longer. "Can I come home?" she asked meekly.

"Oh, sweetheart, of course you can come home. You don't have to ask," her mother said soothingly.

"But it's short notice, and it's going to cost a lot, and I don't have the money," Bella said quickly, her voice panicky.

"Bella, it's fine. Your grandma and I have some money set aside. We'll get you a ticket. Now, when are you done with school?"

The two of them made arrangements for Bella to leave on the last day of classes, and Bella began to feel much better, until her mother mentioned Edward again. "Tell me what happened, Bell."

Bella sighed. She didn't even know where to begin. She had told her mother that she and Edward were together again after she'd found out about Jane, but her mom had no idea about Jane waking up. "Can we just talk about it when I get there? I don't really want to get into it over the phone. I'm sorry."

"All right, honey. Whatever you think is best. We'll talk about it in person then."

She knew her mother wouldn't forget about their conversation and that eventually she'd have to talk to her mother about the situation with Edward. Maybe by the time she got home, things wouldn't feel so fresh and raw, and she'd be able to look at things more objectively.

Feeling guilty for kicking Alice out, she went to look for her. She found her in the lounge area watching TV with several other students. Alice looked up and smiled when Bella entered and motioned for her to sit next to her. Bella did, and Alice patted her knee. Bella sighed and rested her head on Alice's shoulder. Even though the two weren't the closest of friends, there was something comforting about Alice's presence, and Bella appreciated having her in her life. It wasn't long before Bella drifted off to sleep next to Alice, the soft drone of the television background noise in her odd dreams. She was startled awake when Alice shook her gently as she stood.

"It's late. Let's go to bed," she whispered.

The next morning Bella awoke, and for a split second, she was sure the night before had been a nightmare. But then reality came crashing down on her, and she whimpered and rolled over in bed, unwilling to face the day. But eventually she did. She crawled out of bed and went to class and did her best to lose herself in her classes to forget about Edward. She pretty much had, until it was time for her to go in to Lucky's. The thought of working together with him hadn't crossed her mind, but she was almost positive he had a shift that night. What would she say? What would he say to her? Though she wouldn't admit it, even to herself, she was incredibly hurt that he hadn't followed her the night before. Part of her wanted him to argue with her, to fight for her, to try to prove to her that she was wrong. But he hadn't. That hurt almost more than anything else.

Bella decided she'd just have to go to work and make the best of a bad situation. And what a bad situation it turned out to be. By the end of the night, Bella couldn't remember a shift going by more slowly in her entire life. Her prediction had been correct—Edward had been working, and it seemed like he was everywhere she looked. The harder she tried to avoid him, the more he seemed to pop up. She went out of her way to stay away from areas of the restaurant she knew he frequented, but it didn't seem to matter. A couple of times, they'd made eye contact, and she'd thought that he gave her an oddly searching look, but she'd felt so flustered by his proximity that she'd fled as soon as possible. By the end of the night, she'd made up her mind.

She deliberately hung back until most everyone else, including Edward, had left. Peter was sitting in his office. She knocked lightly on his open door. "Hey, Bella. What's up?" he asked, smiling as he glanced up at her.

"I need to talk to you, Peter."

He raised one eyebrow as he turned away from his computer. "Sounds serious. Is everything okay?"

"Well, yes…no. Yes. I mean…Look, I'm going to go home for a while."

"Okay, so you need some time off? It's short notice, but I'll work something out. Are you going to be gone the entire break?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, I am, but I might be staying longer."

He furrowed his brow at her. "You're not coming back when the semester starts again?" Peter knew Bella well enough to know that wasn't like her.

Bella sighed. "Maybe. I'm not sure what my plans are right now. I just need to get away from here."

"Is this about Edward?" Peter asked bluntly.

"What? No," she lied and felt her face growing hot.

Peter smiled knowingly at her. "Bella. Go home for Christmas. See your family, take some time off. Relax. And then when you come back, come see me. We'll work this out. You can't quit. Hell, I'll fire Edward before I let you quit."

Bella shook her head, suddenly concerned for Edward's job. She couldn't let him lose his job over her. "No, Peter. I'm sorry. I just can't work here anymore. It doesn't have anything to do with Edward. I just need to take some time away from everything. Can you send my last check to my mom's house?" She grabbed a pencil from Peter's cluttered desk and scribbled the address on a piece of paper and thrust it at Peter. "Thanks for everything, Peter."

Peter called after her as she walked backward out the door, but she ignored him. She knew she wasn't being fair to him, but the thought of spending one more night dodging Edward was more than she could handle. She thought about the lie she'd told Peter. The more she thought about spending some time away from San Diego, the more she liked the idea. But could she really let what happened between her and Edward affect her school career? She didn't know the answer to that yet.

The next few days passed in a very disjointed fashion. There were times, like when she was busy with school or packing for her trip home, that time seemed to pass very quickly. But then there were times when she had nothing to do—all her studying was done—and time seemed to move so slow she would have sworn it was going backward.

Finally, the day of her departure arrived. She was packed and ready and, if she was being honest, excited about the prospect of seeing her mother and grandmother. She'd called a cab and was waiting for it in the lobby, suitcase in hand. The taxi arrived, and she greeted the driver before loading her luggage in the trunk and climbing in. As the cab pulled away from the curb, she scanned the parking lot and surrounding street absentmindedly.

The drive to the airport was uneventful, and when the driver pulled up to the terminal, she paid him and climbed out. She checked her bag at the curb and headed inside the airport. The terminal seemed more crowded than usual with the approaching holiday, and Bella scanned the crowd anxiously as she moved through the line at the security checkpoint.

"Waiting for someone, honey?" the security agent asked as she scanned Bella's boarding pass and looked over her ID.

"What? Oh, no. I'm not waiting for anyone. No one's coming." And as Bella said the words, she realized how true they were.

A/N: Okay, I'm going to go hide now. Come find me on Twitter if you want to talk (or yell at me). I love you all! :-P