New Marais was once a humid town with many reasons to visit. Presently, it's a humid town with many reasons to give it the widest berth possible. However, evasion was not an option for the three people who had recently arrived, and were currently bemusedly exploring the streets.
The first was a man in Spartan armour, grey for the most part with a yellow trim. He held an assault rifle, and a pistol was strapped to his hip. He took point, since it would would be accurate to describe him as the most urban-savvy of the three.
Behind him was a girl in a beige and green tunic, not dissimilar to the uniform of an especially short soldier. Her black hair was in a large bun, and some bangs spilled out of it over her face. Such a hairstyle would greatly inhibit the sight of most people, but judging from the girl's milky-white, unfocused eyes, it was probable that her hair was not the reason she wasn't looking at her surroundings. Regardless of her evident blindness, she had been the least perturbed of the three by the sudden change of location; instead, she had balled her fists and spread her bare feet widely, anticipating a fight.
She had been verbally pacified by the person next to her, a blond man in medieval wear: a white shirt with blue sleeves, chainmail trousers, thick blue boots and an iron helmet. He had large brown eyes and a natural smile. On his left arm was a circular shield of red, blue, and white, and in his right hand was a long golden sword with a jagged blade.
"You sure you know where we're going, Agent Washington?" asked the girl. She put a distasteful emphasis on the name; it spoke of too many rules for her liking.
"I have a better idea than you do," snapped the Freelancer.
Toph gave him a shocked glare, and Hype raised his eyebrows.
"Oh God that sounds terrible," Wash apologized quickly. "I meant because I'm more used to cities than you. Like, I..."
There was an awkward silence. Wash was almost glad when they were rudely interrupted.
"Hey!" a voice shouted from a rooftop. Wash and Hype looked up to see a man in an orange hockey mask glaring down at them.
"Durnit, boys!" he called in a thick Southern accent to someone behind him. "We gert more freaks!" He hefted a rifle menacingly.
"Dammit," muttered Washington. "I'll take care of these guys. Hype, you get Toph to safety."
"That won't be necessary," sniffed Toph.
"Oh?" snapped Washington.
Toph stamped a foot in demonstration. A spike of concrete fired out of the building their aggressor was standing on, and sent him flying gaily into the air. Hype craned his neck up to follow his ascent into the sky.
"Oh," said Wash simply.
The man's friends quickly ran to the roof and opened fire.
"Let's crack some skulls!" yelled Toph.
M Bison joined Dr Doom in the small room in which the latter had been constructing his second portal. The device, larger than the last but the same shape, sat proudly in the centre of the room.
"Nearly finished then?" he chirped. Doom turned slowly.
"Not quite. It will not serve its original purpose. Instead, Doom has been requested to modify it to travel through local space, not between dimensions."
"Indeed? Why?"
"Behold!" Doom produced a small radio he had apparently made himself. The sound of Dr Horrible softly singing to himself was broadcasted.
"~I cannot believe my eyes," came his pleasant tenor, "how the world's full of filth and lies...~"
"Now can we shoot him?" asked another voice.
"We will use the portal to travel to the co-ordinates Doom has received from this reconnaissance device, planted on Horrible's person," stated Dr Doom. "Once there, Maleficent has instructed us to wreak as much death, destruction, and doom as possible."
Bison clapped his hands like an excited child. "Oh, how splendid!"
Their progress through the first part of the city was swift. The second section, however, gave them slightly more trouble.
Toph tore a chunk of stone from a nearby building and threw it at the horrific quadruped in front of her. The monster, a hissing creature with a terrifying tentacled maw, possessed a thick black hide which conventional attacks bounced off of. Toph was satisfied when the beast staggered from the impact of her blow.
"What are these things?!" asked Wash, emptying a pistol clip into one of the smaller, more humanoid monsters. He switched back to his assault rifle when he saw another horde of them was incoming. Hype just shook his head in response, adding his crossbow bolts to Wash's bullets.
Meanwhile, the Ravager Toph was facing let out a piercing wail at the diminutive Earthbender before burrowing into the ground below it.
Toph laughed. "Of all the things you could have done, that was really stupid." She made a slight motion of moving her two hands closer together. Underground, the Ravager shuddered and came to a stop.
Behind Toph, Washington downed the last of the Corrupted while Hype sheathed his weapon.
"Good work everyone," said Wash. "Let's keep looking for this Joker guy."
The soldier took point, reloading his rifle. Toph and Hype fell into step behind him.
Turning a corner, they came to a police officer staring confusedly at a bomb affixed to a wall. The officer was standing just one foot away from the bomb, which was counting down menacingly in a clownish voice.
"45, 44, 43, 42," sang the bomb, pre-recorded.
"Uh," said Toph. "Someone mind explaining to me what's going on down there?"
"That idiot's going to get himself blown up, that's what's going on," said Wash callously.
"Let's see," the officer was saying to himself. "Is it the blue wire I cut, or the red… I've forgotten…"
"Perhaps we should help him?" suggested Hype.
Wash sighed. "Alright. You guys wait here, this'll only take a second."
With that Wash leisurely began to approach the bomb. There was no point hurrying, seeing as the timer was moving slowly.
"31, 30," went the bomb, "Twenty-nine, twenty-ei- SURPRISE!"
The bomb erupted into a fireball, and disturbingly, some confetti rained down as well. The coloured paper floated merrily in the air, setting down lightly on what little was left of the police officer.
"Oh, shit!" said Washington. Then, because he was at a loss for words, he said, "Oh shit!" again.
Reflexively, Hype covered Toph's eyes, to little effect.
"Let's… let's move on," said Wash after a while.
Angry Joe pushed Dr Horrible into the board room. The Scientist scanned the occupants with no small amount of confusion. There was an elderly man with a large grey beard; a man in a blue suit; a man in a tall tophat and orange sweater; a man in a white shirt, squatting in his chair; a raccoon in a blue jumpsuit, and the same turtle with thick glasses and a wheelchair he had previously faced. At the head of the table sat a figure draped entirely in black robes, fingers steepled.
"Uh," said Horrible, "hi."
"Good morning!" greeted Iroh cheerfully. Revan gave him a look.
"I'd like to open with a few questions," said L.
"Um, okay."
"Detective," snapped Revan, "I'm in charge here."
"I'm well aware," replied L calmly, "but I really must insist."
"I think we should let him speak," said Phoenix.
Revan stared at Phoenix for longer than the lawyer was comfortable with, but eventually said "Proceed."
"So," said L, "you were expelled from the castle the other so-called villains are in, correct?"
"Yeah..."
"And why?"
"Well... they said I was a disgrace for not trying to kill my opponents."
"Interesting... and yet, they punish you via exile."
"So?" said Rocket Raccoon.
"Think about it. They tell him that he's weak for allowing his enemies to live. Then, they let him live."
Phoenix shook his head. "An obvious contradiction."
"Precisely, Mr Wright."
"And!" added Horrible, eager to help, "some of them were less nice to me than they usually were, for no reason."
"Further evidence to prove my hunch," murmured L. "They let the doctor live for an ulterior motive."
"Egads!" exclaimed Bentley. "They've planned to have him come to us!"
"And if they have a bug..." postulated Rocket Raccoon.
"... They're listening to us at this very moment," finished Layton.
"And that, in summation, is my theory," said L, calmly eating a sweet.
##
In the tower, M Bison grinned, impressed by L's deduction. "Not bad, eh?"
Dr Doom scowled, not sharing in Bison's light-hearted mood. "Bah. It is nothing. This room is seemingly a coalition of the intellectual leaders of the group opposing us. It is understandable that at least one is halfway intelligent."
M Bison's smile, as ever, failed to diminish in the slightest. "Are you saying we opened the drawer where they keep the sharp knives?" he joked.
##
"In any case, the course of action is clear," continued L, making the sweet's wrapper dance between his fingertips. "We find and carefully disable the device. And it goes without saying that we say nothing until Dr Horrible leaves the room."
Angry Joe grabbed Horrible lightly by the arm. "Alright buddy, let's see if this bug is well hidden enough to not to be found by a ninja." With that he dragged the doctor out of the room, heading towards the med bay.
It was only after Joe shut the door behind him that the conversation in the board room recommenced. "Brilliant deduction, L," said Bentley.
"Oh please," responded the scruffy detective, studying the ceiling disinterestedly. "It was nothing."
"Hardly," said Revan, but his tone was far from congratulatory. "This was a bold move from our aggressors. We have to assume the worst."
"The worst being that they now know our location and may strike us directly at any time," continued Layton gravely.
"Oh. That's wonderful," said Phoenix lamely.
"We could begin setting up defensive measures," offered Iroh uneasily.
"If by 'defensive measures', you mean 'traps', I'm with you," said Rocket Raccoon. "With a bit of planning we might take out a few of them before they even get to us."
Layton shook his head. "I'm afraid that may not be possible. These are intelligent and well-equipped opponents, and we're quite exposed. They could approach in any direction, and by any means."
"Well, what's the alternative to defending ourselves?" objected Phoenix.
"If I may be so bold as to offer a counter suggestion?" Bentley put forward. "By making Dr Horrible defect to us with a bug hidden on his person, our enemies have managed to locate our position. But in doing so, they may have allowed us to do the exact same to them."
Revan leaned forward. "Go on."
"It's simple, really," explained the turtle. "If the device has a visual feed, then it may be possible for us to extract the information it's recorded - play the footage backwards, and it's a map to Horrible's starting point!"
Iroh stroked his beard. "An excellent idea. In any battle, a careless attack can leave one defenceless - something our opponents have just demonstrated."
"And he who strikes first wins," murmured L.
"Of course, if it's not a camera," Phoenix pointed out, "then the plan won't work."
There was a brief pause while the group considered this.
Suddenly, Layton smiled to himself. "It's an magnificent idea, Bentley, but you may be overcomplicating it," he said.
"How so?"
"As ever, the solution lies just outside of the parameters set forward in the puzzle. We became so preoccupied with the bug that we almost forgot about its unwitting host - Dr Horrible. If his claims about defecting are true, then surely he can guide us back himself."
Phoenix stroked his chin. "I for one thought he seemed genuine."
"So we know where Team Evil lives," said Rocket Raccoon. "The question is, what do we do with that information?"
"That should be obvious." L spoke again for the first time in a while. "We should focus our efforts on reclaiming the Death Note."
When no-one else responded to this statement, L continued "As the Professor can attest, it's not something to be left in such twisted hands. Light Yagami may be plotting to murder every one of us as we speak - in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one masterminding the efforts against us."
Rocket Raccoon muttered something under his breath about Light Yagami's fan club.
"We should consider such a move very carefully," said Iroh. "It would be no small undertaking."
"Actually, small may well be the best way of playing this," said Bentley. "We have enough stealth operatives here to pull off something like this. With luck, they won't be expecting it: we slip in, grab the book, and slip out without causing a fight."
"I'm normally against subtle plans," said RR, "but yeah, that might be a smarter option. We've got shuttles downstairs and plenty decent pilots kicking around, so transport's sorted."
"Very well, gentlemen," announced Revan. "It seems as though we have a plan of action."
Azula and Maleficent would be the only ones left in the castle.
The others would be gone.
Maleficent would have her guard down.
With the magical modifications she was making to the Death Note, she'd even have her shields off.
Azula stood outside Maleficent's room, ostensibly to guard her.
She twirled a small bolt of lightning around her fingers.
Soon.
"It's official," said Wash, staring up at the monster. "This is the worst city ever. Of all time."
A man with a purple suit, green hair, and a white face laughed at them from a nearby rooftop. "Where's your sense of humour?" he called. "This is comic gold!"
He gestured to the two giant, icy humanoids which the three were fighting. Normally, they were the usual colour of ice. However, the Joker had painted them bright shades of purple and green, to match his own colour scheme. Toph shot stone at one, while Hype and Washington chipped away at the second.
Hype sent a blast of fire out of his shield, melting away at the monster's leg. Washington unloaded a clip into the creature's torso, to little effect.
Toph sent up a spike of stone which caught her adversary near the head. She twisted it and a face-plate of sorts came off, revealing a gnarled blue face.
"There!" yelled Washington. He unloaded his assault rifle into the creature's face. It gave a terrible roar, freezing up. Suddenly, it shattered into ice particles which flew everywhere.
Hype raised his shield and a dragon made from pure fire burst out of it. He caught the other monster on its face-plate with enough force to melt through to its weak point. The creature also collapsed and exploded. Hype turned proudly to his team-mates, resting his sword by his side and smiling.
From his rooftop, Joker sulked. "Spoiling the party so soon, hmm?" He produced from the folds of his purple dinner jacket a pistol. He aimed it at Hype and pulled the trigger. Instead of a bullet, a metal bar came out, on which hung a red flag with the bold letters 'BANG!' emblazoned on it. He pulled the trigger a second time and the bar shot out, impaling Hype's chest and coming out the other side.
Wash watched in shock as Hype succumbed to his wounds. Oddly, he didn't collapse; instead, he slowly took on a position, kneeling on one knee while pointing his sword in the air. Then, with a flash of green, he became stone.
"Okay, what the hell just happened to Hype?!" yelled Toph.
Joker slid down a telephone pole, laughing merrily. "No idea!" he said truthfully. "But boy, did it rock!"
As soon as his feet touched the ground, Toph could 'see' him through the earth.
She could even tell he was smiling.
Toph roared and sent Hype's body hurtling into the Joker, knocking the insane clown off of his feet. The Joker hit the ground and rolled, well used to such brief aerial excursions, but before he had a chance to stand and gather himself Hype slammed into him several more times. Toph was unrelenting in her assault, and it was only because Hype had morphed into very strong stone that he didn't crumble under the pressure he was being exposed to. Wash stood and watched silently as Hype's statuesque form moved up and down, moving in the rhythm of the Earthbender's rage.
After what seemed like hours Toph raised Hype one last time, exhaled, and released him. Hype fell to earth a final time, landing once more on the Joker, eliciting a pitiful squeak from some toy on the madman's person. Toph turned away and glowered at the space in front of her.
Wash stood nervously. Dealing with little girls was never part of his job description. Dealing with an enraged and grieving little girl was far worse. Dealing with an enraged and grieving little girl who could crush him with the very ground he stood on was something he didn't especially want to try his hand at.
Nonetheless, Wash was a Freelancer, and decided to approach the situation as one. Bluntly, he asked "Are you alright, soldier?"
There was no response from Toph.
"Hype wouldn't approve of this attitude," Wash ventured. "He also probably wouldn't have approved of you using his body like a battering ram, but I guess that ship's sailed."
Toph remained still, but suddenly chuckled, to Wash's relief. "Heh. I guess not. And… I'll be fine. It's just a shame that… you know..."
"Yeah," said Wash. "A real pity."
"Au contraire!" yelled a voice behind them. Wash turned to see the Joker standing woozily. He was bloodied and clearly in a lot of pain, but this didn't prevent him from holding a grenade dangerously close to Hype. "I think it's quite the improvement!"
Toph punched Wash in the side. "Idiot! If you didn't distract me with your girly talk I would've sensed him get up!"
"What? But, I-"
"Shut your pie-holes and listen!" commanded the Joker. "I have a joke that I think will make your stony-faced friend just crack up! Ahem; What did the blind girl say to the space moron when they were just about to watch their friend die?"
Something clicked inside Wash's brain, and he calmly drew his pistol. He aimed and fired a shot into the Joker's wrist, sending the grenade bouncing away harmlessly.
The Joker yelled in pained, grabbing his wound. "Gaaah! Wait, you didn't let me get to the punchli-" This was as far as the Joker got into his sentence, because at that moment Wash shot the clown cleanly between the eyes, killing him.
"Finally," muttered Wash, as Joker crumpled. "Someone should have done that years ago."
Toph rolled Hype over towards them. Despite the punishment he had just endured, the stone was completely intact. It didn't take a prodigal Earthbender to see that the rock was highly unusual in almost every aspect, even leaving aside the fact that two minutes ago it was a breathing knight. It was grey and nondescript, as though representing the concept of rocks generally as opposed to any in particular.
"Well, we killed an insane clown and saw a knight turn into a statue," announced Wash, reloading his weapons. "I think it's time to call it a day."
Toph was about to respond bitingly, turning her head in the direction of the Freelancer's voice, when something bizarre happened. One moment, the solid paved streets of New Marais were under her, the next, she was somewhere else entirely. The floors were wooden, and judging by how they only continued downward for a short while, they were floors, and not the ground. The space was enclosed, and there was a crowd around her.
"Welcome to the Halberd," said a smooth voice. "Please relax. We don't know either." Toph relaxed her stance slightly, but guardedly. She and Wash began to speak to those on the bridge.
Deadpool slid up to Hype, who had also teleported, and peered at him.
"Cool," he joked, "we could use a figurehead." He yelped in pain as something swatted the back of his head. He looked around to see an incensed Meta Knight had struck him with the flat side of Galaxia.
"Do not make light of this, jester," the captain growled. "This man is a fellow knight, and his condition is serious."
"Is there something you can do?" asked Toph.
Meta Knight examined Hype for a moment. "Probably not, unfortunately," he announced at length. "But I will leave it with our ship's physician. Or rather, Deadpool will." He turned to the mercenary. "Carry Sir Hype to the med bay. By yourself."
Deadpool threw his eyes to heaven and hefted the statue. "Fiiiiine. Jeez."
Clank cleared his throat. "Agent Washington, there are some men downstairs in the same armour as you."
"Oh God. Are their colours red and blue?"
"Yes."
Wash held back a sigh. "Yay. Wonderful. Friendship."
"And Ms Bei Fong, I've been instructed to guide you outside."
"Why? What's there?"
"A task."
##
"You want me to lift the ship out of the sand?" Toph asked incredulously.
"Well, we've tried a couple of times, and we need to get it out," explained Aang.
"Unless it's too hard for the greatest Earthbender alive," taunted Sokka.
Toph punched him. "Of course it's not. But I'm standing on sand, so I can't see that well, and it's really deep... You're smirking at me, aren't you?"
"Good guess," said Sokka.
Toph rolled her sightless eyes. "Fine. I'll lift the stupid ship!"
She raised her arms, and then strained, as though lifting a heavy weight. Spikes of stone gradually rose from the ground, pushing aside the sand. She paused, realigned one spike, and pushed it up by itself. She repeated this until the ship was rising out of ground, sand pouring off of its sides. The sight was majestic to say the least. Toph made a motion with one arm and the spikes on one side grew larger than their symmetrical counterparts, which undid the slight tilt. Finally, she gestured upwards a final time, hefting the ship from the sand. The Halberd sat on its makeshift drydock, the large metal mask at the bow gleaming proudly in the sun.
Toph heard a sound coming from the Halberd. "What's that?"
"People applauding you, Toph," answered Aang proudly.
"Oh," said Toph. "Yeah, that makes sense." She bowed.
Nothing like getting praise for doing what you love. Oh hey, a review box. *cough*