Scene 21
A crackhouse? Really Rachel? I love Rachel like a whole lot, but sometimes she makes it really difficult to defend when she does stuff like this. Everyone was really mad when I stood up for her but I don't think any of them should talk. They have all done stupid stuff before. They always give Rachel a hard time even when she's not doing anything wrong. It's almost like everyone is harder on her more than anyone else, even Mr. Schue. I don't get it.
But when I confront her about it she tries to make it about the team and I know she's lying about why she did it. I know Rachel freaked out because Sunshine was the first person to really give her a run at being the top singer around here. Sure Kurt is good and he pushes her, but Sunshine was new. She was liked by everyone. Rachel was really scared of that. I could tell just by her body language when Sunshine was singing. She was stiff and nervous. She's afraid because she doesn't think anyone likes her for anything more than her voice. And if someone replaces her voice, then no one will like her at all.
She doesn't understand that I like her for who she is, not just her voice. Sure her voice is super amazing. Every time she sings I swear my body reacts to her in some way. I feel it deep down in my stomach and I can't take my eyes off of her. No one has ever had that effect on me and I don't think anyone ever will again. Sometimes I feel like a girl admitting that, but Rachel just makes me feel things that I wouldn't admit to anyone, especially Puck.
But then she says she's afraid I'll break up with her and it doesn't make sense to me. Why would I break up with her? Hell right now I'm lucky I even have a girlfriend. I'm nothing anymore. I couldn't even stay the captain of the football team, they wouldn't take me on the cheerios, and I won't even be able to protect her from daily slushie facials when I'm just a glee loser to everyone. She should break up with me before I bring her down even more. I've never been good enough for her and now I'm definitely not good enough. I'm a nobody and Rachel deserves a somebody.
So I tell her she should break up with me but instead of doing that, she looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes and that sad look on her face and tells me she's never going to break up with me. And in this moment, I believe her. And nothing is going to make me break up with her either. Because Rachel is an amazing person and as much as she does this crazy stuff so that she can be the best singer, she would never do anything that would hurt me. She's not like Quinn. She wouldn't do what Quinn did to me because she's Rachel and she's better than that.
Rachel doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Sure she's misguided sometimes but she would never be cruel. And for that I would stay with her forever. I finally found the one person who loves me for me and cares about how I feel. I know she's hurting right now and I know the team is mad at her, but she'll make it up to them. She'll go off and do what she has to do to face the team again. Because she's Rachel and she always knows what to do. So all I can do is wait. Wait for her to come back. Wait for her to work it out with herself. Wait for her to amaze everyone else the way she amazes me. Then everything else is going to be alright. I just know it.