CHAPTER 21

(GIDEON)

I feel different, completely and utterly different, I feel like a huge weight that I have been lugging around for years has now gone, I felt something shift inside me last night when I heard those simple words my mother spoke. I have no idea what changed her mind so comprehensively, and at this moment I am choosing to believe that she means what she said and that it was the combination of the Lucas confession and Christopher also telling her he had lied which has altered her long-held point of view.

A cynical part of me though isn't having any of it, I have dealt with my mother's denial for years and for her to so suddenly and comprehensively change her mind doesn't ring true, and a part of me wonders if it is all just a ploy to try and get Chris back, she was devastated when he left her and it isn't a coincidence that he has recently served her with divorce papers.

Sadly, I also know my mother, and her sudden appearance last night appeared to me to be too contrived, too much of a grand gesture to be totally convincing, which is hardly surprising based on the years of conditioning that I have had, that she didn't love me enough, but on the other hand I could be totally wrong, and her motives could have been genuine this time.

I am not stupid enough to totally accept that without question though, the thing which is making me doubt her sincerity was that the difference between her apology and Christopher's was stark, he maintained eye contact with me throughout our conversation yesterday and I saw the deep regret in his eyes and an element of confusion where he tried to make sense of the fact that everything he thought was true actually wasn't. I believe he truly wants to make amends and build bridges. My mother, on the other hand, couldn't look me in the eye once, not even when she apologised and not when she told me she believed me. In business, I have learnt to read people and read people well, and there was something definitely off about my mother's performance last night.

But despite that, yesterday was a huge day for me, I think getting Christopher's apology meant more to me than anything, as I have never fully understood why he hated me so intensely, but now that I do and he does, we can start to break down those years of lies and animosity, and hopefully build some sort of relationship. I am taking it slowly though, I am not prepared to open myself up to him as I have done to Ireland and Chris, too much has happened between us to take that leap of faith, but I am prepared to give him a chance.

I return my attention to the paperwork in front of me, Mark Garrity is joining us on Monday and the HR paperwork is in front of me to sign off on. I pause as I read the paperwork, remembering Eva's accusation that I was manipulating her to come and work for me by poaching her boss. That had never been my intention, and those words had stung when I had stopped and realised how it had looked. I had seen a very capable person who would be a good fit for my company and gone after him, I had never considered how it looked to my wife who I was also trying to entice to Cross Industries.

Thankfully, she believed me when I had assured her that my motives had been purely to get Garrity on board, but now he is I know it won't be long before my wife does join me. I have promised her I will not interfere, but I will put in place measures to smooth the process for him to engage Eva as his assistant.

I power through my day, I am surprised when I look up and notice it is nearly 6:30. I stand and stretch, looking forward to the evening ahead, Eva hasn't told me where we are going, but I've been assured it will be a lot of fun. I grab my jacket and shut down my computer, before heading home to my wife.

Angus is waiting as usual at the kerb and he smiles at me "Ready to go home lad?" he asks as I climb in.

"I'm going out tonight, Eva and I are having a get together with friends, she has organised everything, I'm not sure where we are going or what we are doing but she assures me I will enjoy myself," I say with a grin.

He slaps my shoulder and smiles, "It'll be good for you lad, let your hair down and act your age," he says.

I nod and climb into the car.

When I arrive at the penthouse I look around and see piles of notes on the coffee table, I wander over and idly pick one up, and realise immediately these are Eva's plans for her foundation which she is planning to launch, I crouch down and rifle through the papers looking through her ideas and am impressed with what she has come up with.

"Hi, Ace, what are you doing?" she says from behind me, I rise back up again and turn towards her holding up the paper I have in my hand.

"I'm just looking at the notes you left here, this is very good," I say.

She beams at me and walks closer, "Thank you, I have everything sorted in my mind how I want it to go, I just need to arrange a venue and organise the press pack and make sure Cary is available as he is going to be the public face of it all," she says.

I nod, "Well if you need any help, my PR team and Crossroads are at your disposal," I say.

She wraps her arms around me and kisses my chest, "thank you" she says.

As I go to pull her closer she pulls away and looks up at me, "We should start getting ready for tonight" she says her eyes shining and she is almost dancing with excitement.

"I can't wait," I say as I follow her to the bedroom.

oooOOOooo

"EVA!"

I react to the shout and turn to watch as my wife does the same and then immediately leaves my side to greet three people who are walking towards us, I recognise the red-haired woman as Shawna Ellison the woman who provided the tickets for the Six-Ninths show which had ended with the altercation between me and Brett Kline when I caught him kissing Eva.

My attention moves to Mark Garrity who Eva has just hugged and I watch as she also hugs the tall broad red-haired man, and I realise that must be Steven Ellison, Mark's fiancé and Shawna's brother who Eva had told me about. I stay back out of the way and just watch, my wife looks happy and relaxed, she is in her element surrounded by her friends. Eva loves being around people, and once again Dr Petersen's words fill my mind about how my wife is happiest surrounded by her circle of friends and family.

My thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice speaking to me.

"Was this your idea?" and I turn to face Arash who is grinning widely as he nods towards the club we are standing in front of.

I can understand why he asked, as this is one of my clubs, and it's a new one which has only recently opened.

I shake my head, "Nothing to do with me. This was all Eva, I was completely in the dark about tonight, and had no idea where we were going until I got here," I say holding my hands up.

Arnoldo appears and I greet him warmly and our little group expands as Manuel also arrives a few moments later, Eva notices their arrival and comes to me and quickly greets my friends with a natural warm sincerity, I can't help but notice that Arnoldo is quite cool with Eva and I make a mental note to have a word, I won't have Eva feeling any negativity from my friends. The greeting Arnoldo gave her is markedly stiff in comparison to Manuel as he offers her his, I watch as he steps forward and tries to embrace my wife and kiss her, I quickly step in and push him away.

"Get back!" I snarl at him and he grins at me and holds up his hands, Eva is laughing and looks at me in surprise at my reaction.

Arash comes up next and tries his luck, and I round on him pushing him away as well, "Don't even think about it, Madani!" I hiss.

He throws back his head and laughs loudly, "This jealous streak you have recently acquired is vastly entertaining" he says.

Manuel roars with laughter at his comment and agrees wholeheartedly as he calms down he winks at Eva and I glare at them both but Eva just grins at them, but all the while she is holding my hand and stroking my arm, reassuring me.

"Calm down, they are your friends, they don't mean any harm and the more you react the more they will try and wind you up," she whispers in my ear.

I know she is right but I can't help my reaction when I see another man pawing my wife. I try to remember these are indeed my friends.

I wonder if everyone is here yet, I have no idea who exactly has been invited. I glance around and notice that all the people who I said to invite are here, and so I wonder who else is due to arrive. Arnoldo is standing with Arash and Manuel, and they are chatting amiably with Mark and Steven, Shawna is standing with Cary and Trey and laughing at something Cary has said.

"How many more people are we waiting for?" I ask, whispering in Eva's ear.

"Three, possibly four" she replies, "and here is two of them now" she adds tugging at my hand and pointing, I look up and I am surprised to see Magdalene walking towards us holding the hand of a tall thin man.

"Maggie, I didn't know you were coming tonight!" I say with genuine surprise as I step forward and embrace her, kissing her cheek. She laughs and air kisses me, I see Arash watching me and his eyebrows rise and I realise the hypocrisy of what Maggie and I have just done, I had behaved like a neanderthal when my friends wanted to do exactly the same thing with Eva. My attention returns to Maggie as she speaks to me.

"Hello Gideon, Eva called me and invited me, it sounded like fun, so here I am," she says.

"Well, I'm glad you could make it," I say sincerely, and my love for my wife increases that she made the effort to include Maggie.

"This is my boyfriend Gage Flynn," Maggie says, waving her hand at the man at her side, "Gage, this is my oldest and dearest friend Gideon Cross," she adds.

I shake the man's hand and give him a once over, it is a firm handshake and he looks at me warily.

"Hello, pleased to meet you," he says politely.

"Likewise," I say.

I watch Eva and Maggie greet each other warmly, and it makes me happy to see it, they had gotten off to a rocky start – which was totally Maggie's fault, when she had tried to bait Eva, she had provoked her, trying to warn her off me, at a moment where what she had said had hit a raw nerve and as a result had caused a rift for a while.

Eva had felt threatened and Maggie hadn't realised what Eva meant to me. I had been angry and hurt by what she had done, and I had told her so. It had also put a strain on our relationship for a while and I was fully prepared to cut Maggie out of my life, but it seems the two women have sorted out their differences and it really does make me happy that Eva had thought to actually include her and invite her along tonight.

Seeing how the two women are interacting I also feel happier with my decision to ask Eva if I could have Maggie as a bridesmaid at our vow renewal in December, as she is my oldest friend and although Eva had agreed, I had been concerned that she was just agreeing to pacify me, after all, she had wanted Cary as a groomsman.

"Here are the final two," Eva says and I look to see a young couple approaching, Eva steps away from me and greets the man and watch as he introduces the woman at his side I watch as she warmly greets her, before turning back to face me to introduce us.

"Gideon this is Will Granger, I worked with him at Waters Field and Leaman, and this is his girlfriend Natalie," she says, she waves her hand towards me, "Guys, this is my husband Gideon Cross."

I step forward and offer my hand to the man in front of me, I vaguely remember him from the day I had stormed into the offices of Waters Field & Leaman after Eva had quit. He has a retro beatnik look which works for him, I greet his girlfriend, a small blue haired woman dressed in the same fifties style and who is sporting twin sleeves of tattoos.

I put my hand up to the bouncer on the door, who immediately holds the line and clears a path for us to enter the building, and he mutters something into a mic he is attached to, via a headset. Eva turns and looks at me in surprise when she sees this and then realisation dawns on her face.

"This is one of yours isn't it?" she says.

I nod, "It is," I say with a shrug.

She sighs and shakes her head, "Is there anything you don't own?" she asks sarcastically.

I snort, "In New York? Very little" I say dryly and press a kiss to her temple.

She elbows me sharply in the ribs and shakes her head once more.

We all troop inside and are shown to the booth Eva had booked, there are menus on the table for food and drinks and a tablet to place your food and drinks order or to select a song if you wanted to participate in the karaoke.

I cast a critical eye over the place, it looks good, very good, it still has that new feel to it, as it hasn't been open for very long but I like what I see, the different shades of blue and the chrome makes it look classy, and am pleased with how full the place is, it seems popular and that is always a good thing, I had noticed the long queue outside of people waiting to come in and all the bookable VIP booths are full and the open area is buzzing, the last time I saw the place was before it opened and it was completely empty but seeing like this filled with people is gratifying.

We all pile into the booth and Arash immediately grabs the tablet.

"So who is going first?" he says looking around and I see Steven stand up immediately and hold his hand out for the tablet.

"Give me that," he says, "I will get this party started and set the bar" I watch as Mark rolls his eyes and shakes his head, and Shawna laughs loudly.

"He is totally shameless, but thankfully he has a reasonable voice, so it won't be painful," she says.

A moment later Steven has disappeared into the crowd and is heading towards the stage.

"What did he pick?" Eva asks peering at the discarded tablet.

"Don't Stop Believin' by Journey, it's his favourite song in the world" Shawna says.

A few moments later the band strikes up with 'Don't Stop Believin'' and we watch Steven belting it out. He does have quite a good voice and he is totally playing up to the crowd.

We are all laughing and cheering as the song comes to an end and he bows theatrically before making his way back.

Next to go up are Cary and Trey who sing a duet, Trey is shy and has a quiet sweet voice but it actually worked and blended nicely with Cary's harsher vocal. I smile as I watch them, especially Cary who has bags of enthusiasm and not a bad voice either, they do a rendition of '(I've had) The time of my life'.

Cary goes up again a short while later and sings a rousing rendition of 'Only the Good Die Young' an odd choice, and I am surprised that all genres of music seem to be incorporated, as the last thing I had ever imagined hearing, was an Iron Maiden track, but hearing a live band play it was actually pretty awesome.

Everyone seems to be mingling together and getting along well, I smile as I see Shawna talking with Magdalene. I have been watching Arnoldo closely and I can't help but notice he has barely acknowledged Eva all evening, and it could be argued he has blatantly snubbed her choosing to spend most of his time talking with Maggie, I don't think this has gone unnoticed by Eva and it is starting to piss me off, so I feel the need to have a word.

I shuffle across the seat I am semi sprawled in towards my friend.

"My wife has concerns that you have got a problem with her, and after watching your attitude towards her tonight I have to agree with her," I say to him in fluent Italian, so that neither Eva nor anyone else will pick up on the conversation.

Arnoldo's head whips around to face me and he has a defensive look on his face, "I have never been disrespectful to your woman," he replies sharply.

"Not openly no, and she never said you were, but I have noticed things, tonight, for example, you have barely acknowledged her presence which could be construed as a snub and when you do speak to her, it is positively arctic," I say, the warning clear in my voice.

I watch him take a long drink before he puts his glass down and looks at me.

"You are captivated by her," he states.

I nod, "I don't deny the fact," I say simply.

"I have been there my friend," he says as he starts playing with his glass.

"Your point?" I ask.

"You have to ask that, do you not remember when we first met?" he says quietly.

I nod, I had first met Arnoldo in Florence, I'd found him drowning in liquor and cooking like a madman, he had been recovering from the loss of a woman, Bianca his long-term girlfriend who had run off with another man. I had been fascinated by the depth of his despair, unable to relate, and certain that I would never know anything like it, now though I know exactly because if Eva ever left me I would never survive it.

I watch as Arnoldo steels himself, he looks me in the eye "I will say this once and we will never speak of it again, I fear for you Gideon, you have changed so dramatically since she came into your life, but she is wild and impulsive, do not forget I was there the night of the concert," he pauses and I feel my jaw tighten significantly.

"She had her reasons for what she did that night, reasons I gave to her, I have hurt her as much if not more than she has ever hurt me," I say.

I see Arnoldo shake his head, "Then I hope that you do not give her any more reasons" he says.

I shake my head stubbornly, "Our relationship is complex, but Eva loves me, she challenges me but now we are working together not against each other," I say.

I see him struggling with whatever it is he wants to say.

"Arnoldo, just spit it out," I say.

"The night of the concert, I saw her, I saw everything that happened as it unfolded in front of my eyes, in her defence, as soon as she laid eyes on Kline she ran in the opposite direction and she did not want to speak to him, but when he caught her..." he stops and makes a noise and shakes his head.

"There is chemistry there, not unlike the chemistry I witnessed between Bianca and the man she left me for, I wish I could believe Eva could ignore it but she has proven she cannot," I go to interrupt him, but he holds up his hand. "I will say, he made the move to kiss her that night, he initiated it but she didn't stop him," he says.

I lean closer, "Kline is no longer a problem," I say firmly.

I see the scepticism on his face, and it makes me angry.

"Look Arnoldo, I know for a fact it is no longer an issue, I trust my wife and I love her, and I do not want her to feel uncomfortable around my friends, if you are going to continue to behave this way you will leave me no choice, and as much as it would hurt me to do so as you are one of the closest friend I have, I would have no choice but to end our friendship, it is your decision, you accept Eva and you behave towards her the way you behave towards me or..." I trail off with a shrug.

I see the shock on his face at my words, "Arash assures me she is the best thing to have ever happened to you, and that he has never seen you happier and that she adores you," he says, now back peddling and clearly trying to placate me.

My eyebrows rise at this, "You have been discussing me and my wife with Arash? You do not accept my word when I have said much the same thing?" I ask.

Arnoldo smiles, "Men in love do not make the best witnesses," he says, "but yes I have, out of concern for you my friend," he adds.

I sigh, we are going around in circles, I glare at him and he also sighs, he glances at Eva who is watching us closely and then back at me.

"I apologise if I have given the impression of unkindness to your wife, it was not my intention, I will endeavour to improve that moving forward, and I will never say anything against her and for as long as you are with her I will treat her with the respect and kindness I feel for you," he says.

"Then that will be for the rest of your life," I say, "but thank you" I add.

"Hey, will you two cut out the Italian, and talk in a language we can all understand, so we can eavesdrop properly!" Arash calls out and he grins widely at us.

"Well said," Eva says and I take notice the tone of her voice.

I had noticed Eva was paying attention to the conversation and even though she doesn't understand Italian, I'm certain she may have picked up the gist and is drawing her own conclusions considering her name and Kline's had been mentioned not to mention our demeanour throughout.

I reach for her and press a kiss to her lips, "I'm sorry Angel, that was rude," I say.

"It was," she says she is looking at me questioningly and I press my lips to her ear and as I do so whisper into it.

"I was asking him if he had a problem with you, and he assures me he doesn't, now," I say.

"Now?" she asks.

"Now that I have corrected him on a few things he thought he knew, but was mistaken," I say.

She pulls away from me and I see her eyes soften, "Thank you" she says gratefully, she mirrors what I have just done and whispers in my ear, "I don't want to come between you and your friends" she says.

I squeeze her tightly, "You haven't and won't," I say firmly.

Then after giving her another kiss I pull away slightly, whilst still holding on to her, making it clear this conversation is over.

About halfway through the evening I notice Manuel getting twitchy, he has been checking out the women around the room for a while now, he has participated once doing a duet with Arash, they had gone up and sang 'Everybody wants to rule the world' but now he is losing interest, I am surprised he lasted as long as he did.

"Jeez, those two are giving me diabetes!" Manuel says as he watches Will and Natalie singing 'I Got You, Babe'.

"Awww come on Manuel don't be like that, they are sweet," Eva says.

But I can see he isn't listening, he has locked on a woman giving him a blatant come on and I watch as he drains his glass, I shake my head, Manuel is a horndog of epic proportions.

"Excuse me, everyone, I see something interesting," he says as he starts to walk away.

I pull Eva closer "We won't be seeing him again tonight," I say as Manuel disappears.

Eva stares at him as he disappears but doesn't say anything.

"Hey Eva, when are you going up?" Arash shouts suddenly.

I watch as panic fills my wife's face, "Trust me you do not want me up there, I am tone deaf, totally tone deaf," she says with a swipe of her hand.

"Oh come on baby girl!" Cary says joining in and goading her to participate.

The chorus of 'come on' reverberates around the table and all eyes are now on my wife.

"You have to sing Eva," Shawna shouts.

"No I don't, trust me, I'm doing you all a favour," Eva shouts back.

"Come on Eva you picked this place – you can't bring us all here and not sing!" Steven calls.

"Mark hasn't sung!" Eva accuses, pointing at Mark who holds up his hand and shakes his head dramatically, "and besides, your sister picked this place!" she adds.

"Come on Eva, I went up and sang," Magdalene coaxes.

Eva looks around helplessly, "This isn't fair, you're all ganging up on me!" she says, she looks up at me and then an evil look crosses her face.

"Gideon hasn't sung yet and you aren't bullying him to sing!" she says almost triumphantly.

I look down and smile at her, "I'll go up if you will," I say before I consider what I am suggesting.

The tablet is quickly passed along the table to Eva, "You really have to sing now!" Magdalene says as she glances at me.

I smile, Magdalene is the only person here who has ever heard me sing, and that was when I was a child.

I watch as Eva sighs and gives in, taking the tablet and scrolling through the songs, she looks up at me, "If I do this you'd better go up as well," she says.

I press a kiss to her head, "I will" I say.

I watch her as she pauses a few times, then she sees something and her finger lingers a moment and she takes a shot look at me and I realise she has found something, something which she isn't sure about.

"What have you found Angel?" I ask quietly.

"A song which is kind of appropriate for us, it's very personal... a little too personal though," she says.

"But only we will know its meaning," I say, and I am intrigued by what she has found.

"But I'm a really rubbish singer, it's a beautiful song and I won't do it justice," she says.

"Go on Angel, sing for me," I urge.

I watch her debate a few moments longer and then she decides and presses her finger on the screen selecting the song. Throwing the tablet on the table she stands and presses a kiss to my head.

"You'd better go up and sing, if I am doing this!" she reiterates as she leaves the table.

My eyes follow her and watch her, I wait for her as she gets in line, I won't have long to wait, as I have noticed that anyone from our table has been fast-tracked to the front of the queue, a perk reserved for us as they know I own the place.

I wait patiently as Eva climbs on stage and she is clearly nervous about this, I am not sure whether it is the song she has chosen or her lack of confidence in her singing ability, or maybe a combination of both. I fix my eyes on her and watch as she searches the room for me.

Before she begins she speaks to the room at large, "I apologise in advance, I was forced to come up here and sing, when in reality I should never have access to a mic," she says.

A ripple of laughter flows through the crowd, the band starts to play I don't recognise the song immediately but as soon as Eva starts to sing I know what it is, it is an old 90's ballad 'Silent Lucidity' by Queensryche, definitely an obscure choice.

I stop and listen to the lyrics and I know immediately what she is telling me, the message is loud and clear, she is saying that she will stand with me as I work through my nightmares and she will always be there to protect and comfort me, it is a powerful message delivered in the form of a beautiful song.

Eva was right though, she isn't a singer, but it's certainly not as dire as I had feared from her protests, she is in tune and can hold a note and it's the message she is delivering which means the most to me.

I listen as she sings to me and I keep my eyes firmly fixed on her and she doesn't move her gaze from me.

When she is done, she gets a well-deserved round of applause, and I stand and wait for her to return, everyone at the table cheers and whoops as Eva returns and she laughs at their reaction.

I pull her close and kiss her deeply, "message received loud and clear," I say quietly in her ear as I let her go.

"Your turn, lover boy!" Arash goads and all eyes turn towards me,

I pick up the tablet and scroll through the songs, I am surprised, every possible genre is accounted for and there are many songs which are appropriate and which describe the way I feel about my wife, in the end, I narrow it down to two, but I run through the lyrics in my head of the second one and it says everything I want to tell her.

I stand and press another kiss to Eva's head, "Listen to the words," I whisper.

As I make my way to the stage, someone starts singing 'Golden' and I stiffen slightly as I hear it, but carry on and take my place in the line. As I expected, I am quickly fast-tracked to the front of the queue and before I know it I am taking my place on the stage.

I pull the mic from the stand and pick out Eva who is watching me intently.

"This is for my wife," I say and immediately that produces a chorus of whoops and cheers.

The band starts playing the opening cords and fixing my eyes on Eva I start to sing, an old Bon Jovi song. As I sing the lyrics to 'Diamond Ring' I visualise Eva on the beach with the single red rose in her hair as I pushed the diamond ring on to her finger and made her my wife.

I don't notice the silence that has fallen over the room, I just sing from the heart, to my wife.

As I finish, the room erupts and people are standing and cheering, I make my way off the stage and people are slapping my back and telling me how good I was, but I ignore them searching the room for one person and one person alone, Eva.

I find her and she flings her arms around me and kisses me hard.

"I have goosebumps all over after hearing that," she says, the emotion in her voice telling me that she also got the message I was trying to convey to her.

"I meant every word Angel," I say and I seal my mouth over hers once more.

I sit down and take in the shocked faces around me.

"What?" I ask looking around.

"Holy fucking shit man that was unreal!" Cary says and everyone nods in agreement with him.

I shrug and pull Eva closer.

Arash pulls himself together and nudges me, "You do realise we will have to hate you completely now!" he says shaking his head.

I look at him questioningly, wondering what on earth he is talking about.

Arnoldo laughs, "When you went up, Eva asked us if we had heard you sing before and only Magdalene said she had, but she said that you were a small child on that occasion, so Cary said that with a bit of luck you would suck because you can't be good at everything, else we would all have to hate you."

"You didn't suck, so we now all hate you," Arash says totally deadpan.

I feel my mouth twitch with a smile, "I can live with that," I say and Arash stares at me a moment before throwing his head back and laughing loudly.

After about another hour I feel Eva pressing herself against me, her hands are restlessly roaming over my body and she keeps nuzzling against me, I know the signs, despite the fact she is strictly on non alcoholic drinks now with the pregnancy, she is feeling horny, she wants me, I glance around, I don't think it will be much longer before the evening comes to an end, Magdalene and Gage have already gone and Arnoldo is now getting ready to leave. He makes a point of saying goodbye to Shawna, they have become firm friends since the Six-Ninths concert and then he makes his way to us.

"Goodnight Gideon, it has been an interesting evening," he says, he pauses and glances at Eva.

"Goodnight Eva," he says politely.

"Goodnight and thanks for coming," Eva says equally politely, and I don't miss the coolness still lingering between the two, and I realise that Arnoldo still harbours doubts about Eva and her fidelity.

Song List:

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey

(I've Had) the Time of My Life by Bill Medley & Jenifer Warnes

Only the Good Die Young by Iron Maiden

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

I've Got You Babe by Sonny & Cher

Silent Lucidity by Queensryche

Diamond Ring by Bon Jovi