Title: Confessions… the twenty-first

Fandom: General Hospital

Characters: Tracy Quartermaine Spencer and Claudia Zacchara

Rating: G

Summary: Dinnertime vignette

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

There are moments in time when windows of connection are opened. It is the wisest among us who recognize them and let in the light...

Tracy had just finished up in the office and was leaving the building when someone rushed by her and almost knocked her over.

"You could look where you're going, idiot!" she yelled after them.

Immediately the body turned around and came back. Tracy had bent down to retrieve her fallen purse so she was surprised to see two stilettoed feet step in front of her.

"What did you call me?"

Looking up Tracy saw one of her least favourite people. Claudia Zacchara just glared at her, challenging her to say it again.

Slowly standing to her full height, Tracy looked her right in the eye as said, "I told you to watch where you were going. You IDIOT. Did you hear me that time?"

Claudia had had enough. First having to deal with her father's unforgiving attitude and now the queen bitch was calling her an idiot. It was all she could do to contain her temper.

"My name is Claudia, it isn't Idiot, Bitch, Whore, Slut or anything else people around here want to call me."

Tracy smiled her Cheshire cat smile and prepared to tell Claudia exactly what she thought of her. That young woman needed to be taken down a peg – or five. Straightening her backbone even further, Tracy prepared to open her mouth and really let Ms. Zacchara hear what she thought of the woman. But just as she was about to start, something crossed Claudia's face.

Tracy had not seen that look of shear pain and defiance in years. In fact the last time she saw it had been in a mirror in Italy many years before. The longer she stared at the younger woman, the more Tracy felt something was terribly wrong. She couldn't put her finger on it and normally wouldn't even care, but something desperate in Claudia's eyes made her abort her tirade.

Stepping from Claudia, she gestured towards the door.

"You. In there. Now!"

Claudia didn't like taking orders, but if there was yet another confrontation she didn't want it witnessed by half of Port Charles. Without contradiction, she stormed in front of Tracy and went in through the doors, stopping just inside.

"Who the hell..."

"Not here" Tracy interrupted and walked towards the executive elevator. Ignoring the evening security guard, Tracy took out her key and programed the elevator to take them to her offices on the top floor.

Silently they entered Tracy's office. The air was thick with the power struggle between the two of them and Claudia was at a loss to figure out what Tracy was trying to do. This woman hated her, why go to this trouble just to ream her?

Tracy was a master at control games and knew how to read bodies and how to use her own for maximum benefit. She had cowed heads of state and made CEOs lap at her feet. Ministers of Finance had come to undermine her and had left like obedient puppies. And she knew the woman in front of her could be crushed in an instant. But for the first time in a long time Tracy wasn't interested in someone's emotional blood on her hands.

Claudia watched in absolute amazement as Tracy sat down and looked at her. Always open for confrontation, she was amazed that the woman was showing signs of being acquiescent. Tracy continuously cut people off at the knees, so what game was she playing? Claudia didn't have to wait long to find out.

"You can sit or stand, makes no difference to me" Tracy said as she leaned back in the chair and crossed her legs.

"What do you want from me? I'm really not interested in another round with you or anyone, so I'll just be on my way." Turning, Claudia headed towards the door.

"If that's how you felt, why follow me in the first place?"

"You didn't give me much of a choice."

"Come Claudia, you can do better than that."

Claudia stopped with her hand on the door nob. She wasn't sure why she had followed Tracy. She wasn't sure of anything at the moment. Deciding to do what she did best, she reeled around and glared at Tracy then marched back to stand in front of her, towering over the older woman. Tracy didn't even flinch.

"What do you want from me?" she asked in frustration.

"Sit! It's not what I want from you, it's what you need from me. Spill it."

"What?" Claudia asked incredulously as she followed the command and sat across from Tracy.

Tracy looked at her for a few moments, lightly stroking her chin and contemplating her words.

"I've been a mother for a very long time. I'm not oblivious to the pain in others, in fact I often take great pleasure in creating it. But something is devastating you and you are acting like a walking time bomb. I don't make this offer often so take advantage of it. What is the problem?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't, but today is your lucky day. You see I've done my homework, Ms. Zacchara, and as much as it galls me to say it we have a lot in common. We both have brother who were the family favorites while we were the throw away children. We have fathers who have banished us and blamed us for everything that's gone wrong for them. We have mothers who loved us but didn't protect us from those fathers. And we are the best business minds in our family, though our fathers will never acknowledge it. So, I might not care but I do understand."

"You don't know anything."

"Try me."

Claudia stared at Tracy is disbelief. How could this woman know anything about her life? She wanted to know, alright then. It wasn't as if Claudia was allowed any dignity anyway.

"Fine... you think you know so much. Try being molested by your father's lawyer from the time you hit puberty. Did you ever have a lecherous old fart try to force you in the corner and press against you, or brush along side of you when you passed in the hallway? Trevors took every opportunity to treat me like I was his play thing and when my mother tried to get my father to see it, Daddy had her sent away so it was just me. So one day I got the idea, if Trevor was so hell bent on touching me then I'd arrange for Daddy to walk in and see him. Then Daddy would know how bad it was and kill Trevor. But no, I'm the slut. I'm the whore. I set up Trevor, you see... I was 16! I was a child and grown men treated me like I was the problem. Daddy sent me away then and I didn't get to protect my little brother like I promised I would. 16! What kind of father turns out his daughter and takes the side of the man who molested her? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

"Harrumph" Tracy said as she walked over to the liquor cabinet and brought back the vodka and two glasses. "Do I know? Honey, I was raised in the 50's. That was a rich man's sport. We could only hope the boarding schools were better. That's what the daughters were for... playthings and the bearers of future heirs."

"So you think I'm a slut too? That I should just shut up and accept that that's the way it is?"

"Noooo, I didn't say that and I don't intent to, ever. Just because I understand it doesn't mean it's acceptable. Some of my friends, the ones who were... ah, favoured... shall we say, were on the front lines of changing the law so those bastards, those 'family uncles' would get thrown in jail.

"Tell me something, when was the last time you were paid for sex – either money or favors?"

"Never."

"Okay, that rules out you being a whore. And how many men have you slept with in the past year?"

"Not that it's any of your business but I was casually seeing someone in Rome and I've slept with one person here."

"Alright, so 'slut' doesn't fit. As for being a bitch, accept it – that's our power. Nice girls never get anything done."

"It's that easy for you?" Claudia continue to look at Tracy as feelings of being overwhelmed fought to control her. She picked up her glass and emptied it, encouraging Tracy to keep pouring.

"Did I say it was easy? Look, you've got two choices either let this garbage with Trevor control the rest of your life or put it behind you and move on. Which is it going to be?"

"You're not the Dear Abby type, are you." Claudia couldn't believe how matter of fact Tracy was being, but she also couldn't believe the comfort she was feeling with the older woman. Tracy wasn't pouring sympathy all over her but she wasn't being put off, either.

"Look, if you want a bleeding heart I'm sure you've met a few in town. It doesn't do any good to wallow in the past. Trust me, I know. The only thing you can do is walk around with your head held high and show the bastards they didn't win."

"And revenge?"

"Ah revenge... yes, well that is a dish best served cold. You're time will come and you will be able to plan better if you aren't caught up in the emotions of it all."

"I don't get you. Why are you telling me this?"

Tracy just smiled. The Cheshire cat was back.