"Oh, no you don't." Remus leapt forward and grabbed the back of her leather jacket, holding her back as she desperately tried to flee. Hermione froze and turned back to him. He glared at her and she blushed deeply as he pulled her into his arms. Remus leaned forward, the intent clear in his clear blue eyes, and he kissed her. It was soft and tender and it almost brought tears to her eyes. She pulled back slightly and blinked at him, her forehead crinkled slightly in thought. Hermione was suddenly aware that he was holding her close to his body, supporting her weight on his arms. The wolf hummed her approval.

"Why are you running? Because I will only chase you." Remus leaned his forehead against hers, sighing slightly. The stray tendrils of Hermione's hair fluttered gently in the breeze. "And you know you can't outrun me."

Hermione blushed again, thoughts drifting back to their midnight chase at the start of term, resisting the urge to relax in his arms.

"I'm not running away. I just have somewhere to be."

"At half past six in the evening?" he said sounding amused.

"Yes." Hermione was trying not to sound defensive. He didn't need to know that he'd gotten to her. The twins had always said she was a horrible liar. I wish they'd known about Bellatrix, Hermione mused, they would have been proud.

"Err...Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you put me down? My feet aren't touching the ground." And this was true. Hermione's boots were almost level with his shins. Remus blushed slightly and just like that the glimpse of the confidant man he would grow into was lost, replaced with the shy teenage friend of James and Sirius. Hermione's boots touched down and she took a step back so she was just shy of his reach. Crookshanks appeared from seemingly nowhere and wound his way around her ankles, glaring accusingly at him.

"It's nothing. Really. I'm sorry, I just..." She wrung her hands in aggravation, a hint of desperation coming into her voice. "I don't know... I need to talk to Lily. Excuse me."

And she was gone, the portrait swinging behind her. Remus glared at the cat. He knew it wasn't the feline's fault, if anything it was Remus'. The wolf presence in his mind picked up slightly.

Mmmmmmmm

Remus scowled in disbelief.

Are you humming?

This isn't running away, Hermione thought desperately as she sped up the stair case. Students watched her in amazement as she sped past them, her hair streaming behind her, the tie having long since fallen loose.

Obviously.

Everything just began to pile on top of Hermione. The Horcruxes...Tonks...Remus...Harry. Oh, Merlin, Harry.

Calm down.

Hermione sped up the stairs to the sixth floor, heading straight for the Head Boys and Girls rooms ignoring the voice in her head. It was just stupid to take advice from someone who wasn't even real.

Hey! I resent that.

"Password, dear." The elderly witch smiled down at her, benign in her oil canvas, gently setting down the basket of flowers she had been holding.

"Oh." Hermione, to her shame, began to cry, fat tear drops rolling down her cheeks. "I don't know it. I'm a teacher. Can't you please...?" The portrait nodded in sympathy and swung forwards. Hermione stumbled through the portal, eyes darting frantically over the occupant. James, who'd been sitting by the fire rushed forward, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Hermione?" he whispered "What's wrong?"

She almost collapsed in relief.

"Lily. I need Lily." James nodded and bellowed up the girl's staircase.

"LILYPAD!"

Thirty seconds later a disgruntled Lily Evans thumped down the stairs, dressed in her pyjamas. It was a credit to James Potter that he didn't ogle his girlfriend, in deference to his crying friend. Although he did however, file the image away for later perusal.

"You promised me, Potter, that you'd never call me that." She glared at him and James winced slightly and stepped to one side, revealing Hermione. Instantly, the anger melted and she sprung forward, wrapping her arms around the sobbing witch. Lily guided her up to her room, wrapped her in the duvet and cuddled her close.

The tears were still falling from Hermione's eyes.

"Right, Hermione." Lily placed one finger under her chin and tipped her head up. Her cheeks were red and blotchy, eyes swollen and wet. "Tell me what happened."

Sometimes the straw that breaks the camel's back is not actually a straw. It's not one more task, pressure, threat, injury. Sometimes it's the act of kindness of someone simply sitting down and talking to you that can break the most steadfast of minds. Hermione Lupin didn't break. She shattered.

"I'm in love with Remus."

Lily froze for a moment. Then she sat back slightly and smiled.

"I hardly see how that's a bad thing. Just makes this mating thing easier."

Hermione leapt to her feet the duvet pooling on the bed.

"How is any of this easier, Lily?" Hermione tugged on a curl in agitation. I am eighteen years old, I'm a time traveller, I am married to a wolf who knows nothing about me. My hairy alter ego is sneaking around, kissing Moony and telling him Merlin knows what. I have a whole group of people to protect and a list of murders to prevent. I have to find a way to prevent a prophecy and on top of that I have fallen in love with a man who is destined to be married to someone else." Hermione panted slightly. "Remus is lovely and wonderful and kind and everything a girl could dream of."

Lily smiled again. "Then, what's the problem?"

"How am I supposed to explain to him that I'm mated to him? That his worst nightmare came true and he attacked someone else? Lily, you know Remus. He would hate himself." Although she didn't want to, Lily had to acknowledge that she had a point. Remus lived in perpetual fear that he would pass on his condition to another person. To know he'd passed it on to someone he cared about as much as Hermione and that she'd hidden it from him for months would tear him apart. Hermione nodded when she saw Lily's understanding written plain on her face.

"I cannot tell him that. Besides, there is his wife to think about."

"Why don't you introduce them? If he doesn't develop any feelings for her then take it as a green light to go ahead with your relationship."

Hermione snorted as though she couldn't think of anything more amusing.

"That plan would be perfect if it wasn't for one small factor."

"Which is?"

"His wife is about three and a half right now."

Lily paused and considered this. Then she frowned.

"But that would make her..."

"Nymph was very much younger than him, yes." Hermione smiled quietly. "But they were good together. They made each other happy, as far as I knew." Her curls were once again ruffled in agitation. "They had a son. Who was lovely. How can I take that away from him?"

Lily sighed.

"You deserve to be happy too, you know."

Hermione laughed. It was cold and cruel and it sent a shiver down Lily's back. Not for the first time she wondered about the horrors her friend had seen. She wondered how she'd survived. She looked at the witch with the wild hair and the flinty eyes and wondered if she really had survived. Or if a part of Hermione had died with each travesty leaving only this shell.

"No Lily, I don't. I don't deserve him. I cannot afford any distractions. All of them are distractions He is a distraction." She spun and grabbed Lily's hand in a vice like grip, her voice getting more and more overwrought as the emotion Hermione had worked so hard at blocking began to overwhelm her. "None of them matter. Except you. I need you and James to live." She was crazed looking, hair frizzing wildly around her in her distress. Lily clutched at her hand, desperate to drag Hermione back to the present, instead of the past she seemed to be dwelling on.

"What do you mean only I'm important?" Lily frowned. "Is this to do with the time travel?"

"You don't understand." Hermione released her grip on Lily and resumed her pacing, frantically wiping away her tears. "I let him die, Lily." She turned and screeched at the red head. "I LET HIM DIE!" Hermione stood panting in the middle of the floor.

Lily sat there immobile. Somehow she knew she didn't want to know the answer to her question. But she had to ask and the whispered enquiry was just audible to Hermione's lupine senses.

"Who?"

"My best friend. The boy who was my brother and soul mate in, oh, so many ways." The tears came again and Hermione pushed them away with one leather sleeve. "We had been through so much together. Protected each other, helped each other. He was so brilliant. So light." Lily wasn't even sure Hermione knew she was talking to her. Those strange brown eyes were unfocused and misty. "He looked just like his father. Everyone said so." Her tone was conversational now, as though she wasn't in the middle of any emotional breakdown. "But his eyes and his temper...those were his mothers. Such beautiful, green eyes." She smiled faintly.

"Who?" Lily asked again, louder.

"Harry. My best friend." And suddenly those eyes refocused on Lily. "HARRY JAMES POTTER. THE-BOY-WHO-LIVED. THE BOY WHO SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO. HARRY POTTER, GODFATHER TO TEDDY LUPIN. HARRY POTTER, SON OF JAMES POTTER AND LILY EVANS." Hermione was screaming now but found she didn't care as she flung her words at the crying girl. "I LET YOUR SON DIE. AND YOU SHOULD HATE ME FOR THAT."

Silence reined in the bedroom for a moment. Then slowly Lily pushed herself to her feet and slapped Hermione across the face.

CRACK!

The two girls stared at each other for a moment, brown eyes wide and shocked, green growing hard and flinty.

"Show me." Lily commanded. And in her shock Hermione did.

James stood up as Hermione came down the staircase, followed closely by Lily.

"Is everything better?"

Lily just snarled at him and chased Hermione out of the common room. Both girls had been crying. The angry red hand print on Hermione's now pale face showed Lily had slapped her. Hard. The look in his girlfriend's eyes quite frankly scared him and James backed away palms raised. The portrait banged shut and James reached into his pocket. He pulled out the little velvet box which opened with a snap. Nestled in the satin was his grandmother's engagement ring. A single ruby winking in the firelight on a gold band. It was simple and he knew Lily would love it. His father had sent it to him days ago. He'd yet to find the right time to present it. James closed the box again and returned it to his pocket.

"Today is not the day." He murmured quietly.

After checking Remus wasn't still lurking in her rooms Hermione undid the wards to her bedroom and opened the door. Lily was angry. She could feel it electrifying the air around them. After checking that Lily had followed her into the room, Hermione locked and warded the door again. Nearly every surface was littered with photographs.

Hermione sat Lily down, still unable to meet her eyes and wandered over to the chest of drawers. Numerous pictures in frames waved happily at her. She reached out and selected a small guilt frame from close to the back. Then she sat next to Lily on the bed and passed her the photo. The small figures waved up, resplendent in their youth. Ronald Weasley, looking shabby but loyal. Hermione, her hair a veritable puff around her head. And in the middle...

"Harry." Lily breathed stroking her hands over the picture lovingly. Hermione was reminded of something her own mother had once said. "A mother's love is forever. Not just a life time." Lily had never met her son. Hell, Harry hadn't even been conceived yet. But watching her Hermione could see the love of a mother holding her new-born for the first time. Lily drank in her sons features, a small smile curving her lips. Eventually she looked up and stared at Hermione, the anger gone, replaced with longing and sorrow.

"When was this taken?"

Hermione peered over her shoulder.

"In our third year."
Lily nodded, frowning slightly.

"Why is he so small? He should be thirteen but he looks easily eleven."

"Harry was always small. It was a side effect of malnutrition when he was younger and he never managed to grow to his full size. He was…ooh…" Hermione tipped her head back. "About my height when he stopped growing."

"Didn't I feed him properly?" Lily didn't raise her eyes from the photograph.

Hermione sighed.

"Lily, Harry was an orphan. He wasn't raised by you."

"Sirius?" Lily frowned, doubting that her husband's best friend could mistreat her son in such a way.

"No. Not Sirius. He should have raised Harry. However he spent most of Harry's life in Azkaban."

Lily filed that away, waiting for the right time to follow that line of questioning.

"Alice? Marlene? Remus? My parents...the Potters?"
Again Hermione shook her head.

"Lily, I could tell you, but I am hoping to change the time line sufficiently so that this never occurs. I believe this person only did this because they were led by their partner. Harry never met his grandparents, another thing I hope to change."

Lily nodded again, accepting that there were some answers she couldn't have.

"Tell me about him."

Hermione sighed and began to get herself back under control.

"Harry was a lovely boy...if lonely. He spent most of his life fighting. In his first year he defeated Voldemort. In his second he rescued the school from a Basilisk." Hermione frowned. "I need to do something about that. In his third he faced Dementors. In his fourth he competed in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. He saw Voldemort come back from the dead. He fought against the Ministry and he won in his Fifth. He watched a great man die in his sixth. In his seventh we went on the run. Myself, Ronald Weasley and Harry. We became known as the Golden Trio." Hermione scoffed slightly. "There is nothing golden about hiding in a tent in the woods, desperately searching for a way to defeat Voldemort. And we did defeat him, Lily. Or rather, Harry did." Hermione sighed and buried her hands in her hair. "But everything went wrong in the battle. Remus bit me. Ron got hit with a rebound Avada Kadavra. Harry survived, though. He took me to the hospital wing." She was crying now but she was beyond caring. Lily just watched her with horrified fascination. "All the pain and sorrow he had been through in the last seven years...It killed him Lily. He couldn't see a reason to keep living. Ron was dead. I was a monster; turned by someone he'd considered a friend. Remus and Nymph were dead. And I let him slip away. I held your son in my arms and let him die. AND I DON'T REGRET IT."

"What?" Lily stared at her in shock, just barely whispering.

Hermione smiled through her tears, eyes filled with sorrow.

"He wanted it. He could have fought if he wanted to. Harry was a fighter. But he didn't. So I gave him my blessing and he and Death departed this life as equals."

Lily sighed and opened her arms, releasing the hold she'd had on her chest. She stared at her in shock before Hermione piled into her lap. Hermione's tears seemed to increase in multitude as she curled into the witch.

"I'm sorry, Lily." Hermione was openly sobbing in to the witch's shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Lily rubbed her back and sighed, resting her head on top of Hermione's.

"Why did you come back?"
"I wanted Harry to live his life as he should have done. Happily."

"So it had nothing to do with Remus?"

Brown eyes stared at her in disbelief.

"Of course not. I cannot afford to be distracted."

"Okay." Hermione smiled hopefully at her. "I'm not angry at you, Mia. Honestly I'm grateful my son had a friend who was as devoted as you. You've given up your existence for him."
Hermione laughed darkly.

"I didn't have one to begin with. Before I left with Harry I wiped my parent's memories to stop Voldemort hurting them. I sent them to Australia. They had no idea they had a daughter." Hermione smirked slightly. "Unfortunately the spell was irreversible. I knew this when I cast it. Had a weaker wizard cast the spell it would have been possible. But I needed them safe. It was one of the best pieces of spell work I've ever done. It didn't matter that they'd never see me again. I really wasn't expecting to survive."

Lily sighed and tightened her hold around the girl. Hermione simply lay quite content to curl up in her arms. She was relieved that she wouldn't lose Lily as a friend. If she lost Lily she wouldn't be able to look after her. No Lily meant no Harry. Pictures waved at them from around the room and Hermione could see Lily looking at them in interest.

"Tell me about your house ring?"

Silence and then Hermione twisted slightly.

"My official full name is Lady Hermione Jean Granger Potter-Black Lupin."

Lily giggled slightly.

"That's just silly."

"Oh, shush, Lady Lily Evans-Potter."

Lily snorted.

"Sirius passed his title on to Harry when he died. Harry left everything to me and Ron. With Ron dead I got everything."

"Is that why the House-elves treat you weird?"
She nodded.

"I can't open a Gringotts account either. The goblins are terrifyingly clever creatures. Although Lady Potter said she'd help me with that."

Lilt stiffened slightly.

"James is going to propose?" There was a hint of panic in her voice.

"I don't know. I've messed up the time line enough as it is." Hermione shrugged. "He might."

"But I'm too young. We've only been dating for a few months."

Hermione grinned into Lily's shoulder. The wolf liked being cuddled. Something to do with sleep heaps.

"Not in the wizarding world. When you consider it, all the people of your age who are magical are in this school. Unless you're looking at someone seriously older or younger, like Remus did, then you've already met the man you're going to marry. Most wizards don't see the point in waiting. I wouldn't be surprised if Sirius' Uncle Alphard hasn't already drawn up an engagement agreement for Marlene. Besides, James has been in love with you since first year."

"Engagement agreement?" Lily asked weakly.

Hermione nodded in full lecture mode.

"An engagement agreement is a contract drawn between the two participating families. It's normally done for Purebloods. Usually it would be Sirius' father who drew it up, but Sirius was disowned. The contract arranges for an exchange of property or funds in return for the bride and proof that the groom can support and look after her."

"But that is...barbaric. We're not property to be bought and traded." Lily sounded shocked, but Hermione merely smiled. She'd been horrified when she'd found out. There was a reason Bill and Fleur's wedding had been so extravagant. In terms with the contract the wedding was Bill's way of proving he could support his wife and future family.

"It is really. Ask Alice about it. She's a Prewitt and Frank is a Longbottom. In order to get purer than that you'd have to be a Potter or a Black."

"So that means James will want one of these contracts."

Hermione shrugged.

"I suspect as much. Although you're muggle-born so it might be different."

"Oh."

There was a slight pause.

"Hermione, why are you snuggling me?"

She glanced up and saw Lily watching her with slight amusement. Hermione blushed as she realised she'd almost wrapped herself around Lily.

"It's a werewolf thing. You're pack and I need comfort."

"Okay. I don't mind. I was just curious. Now we're done with discussing my future children. Will you tell me what the problem is with Remus?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

Hermione buried her head in Lily's neck.

"She kissed him."

"Who did?"
"My wolf. She kissed Moony."

"Okaaay."

"Mmm."

"Start from the beginning, Mia."

"So, we're moving in with you?"

"If you like."

"Of course. Can I share a room with James?"
"I'd prefer it if you did."

"Aw, come on, Hermi...What?"

"I'd prefer it if you shared a room with him."

"Why?"

Hermione managed a small feat of gymnastics and twisted her arm enough to pat Lily's stomach.

"I hate you, Hermione."

Hermione, reluctantly, uncurled herself from Lily and stood.

"So, what's the next step?"

She frowned at Lily.

"What?"

The red head glared back.

"Our next step. We obviously cannot tell the boys about this. They'd overreact and get under our feet. We could tell Alice and Marlene but they will be busy and they don't know about the time travel thing. But you cannot keep doing this on your own Hermione. The stress of balancing everything will kill you. You had a breakdown tonight. You're already doing too much."

Hermione nodded reluctantly. She was as determined as Harry. He wouldn't have let her go off on her own.

"I have almost all of the Horcruxes. I just need to kill the snake, remove the cup from Bellatrix's vault. Then I just have to defeat Voldemort and the Death eaters. So, nothing really."

Lily giggled.

"Well, when you add that we need to run a resistance group, keep our boyfriends off our backs, go to healer training and turn into a werewolf, yeah, it's nothing."

"And find a way to destroy the other Horcruxes, without scaring Voldemort into making another one, which gives us a very limited amount of time in which to do so."

"And we have to hide from Dumbledore."

Hermione blinked at Lily in surprise.

"I would have thought that you would have trusted Dumbledore."

Those emerald eyes flared in anger.

"That moron?" Lily scoffed quietly. "He obviously knew what was going on with Harry but did nothing to help him. I wouldn't trust that deluded old goat now."

Hermione grinned. There was nothing comforting about that smile. She looked like she'd just found someone's throat to rip out.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"
"Will you tell me about these people?"

Hermione nodded and one by one, told Lily about the future.

She'd gone through the photos of her parents, her year mates at Hogwarts, studiously avoided the photo of James and Lily's wedding and shown her photo after photo of Harry.

"I've got one of the Order of the Phoenix. The recent one, not the other..." Hermione frowned slightly and sniffed. The space where the photo had sat was empty. There was a faint out line in the dust. "Lily did you move one of these?"

Lily stood and moved over to stand by her shoulder.

"I might have. Who was in it?"

"The Order. Me, Harry, Ron, a whole host of Weasleys, Sirius, Remus, Mad-Eye, Dumbledore. Lots of people." Hermione frowned and crouched down to check it hadn't fallen under the table. The was nothing there.
"No. Haven't seen it."
Dread filled Hermione as she remembered just who she'd left in her rooms.

"Lily..."

"Yeah?"

"Remus has my photograph. And he's in it."

A/N

Ok I am sorry. It's been ages. And I'm going on holiday so I will try to have a new chapter by next weekend.

Tell me if you like this. If you don't I can fix it with a simple obliviate. But I'm really not sure about this chapter.

As always I would love you to review.

Hood and Genius Out.