Chapter 21

For the first time in many, many years, Scourge felt humbled. All the Jedi may have been but pale reflections of the Sith, weakened by their twisted values, but they clearly had knowledge of the Force that the Sith lacked. Scourge felt lighter now, and his spirits were already buoyed knowing that the Seeds would no longer trouble him. Indeed, Master Kaia had even endeavored to bring a Seed out of the vaults for him, and he had held it in his bare hands. The pure, dark side energy exuding from it - and something far more sinister as well, if that were possible - was enough to make him shudder. But he felt no pain. No crippling headaches. No spasming muscles.

He had had to let a Jedi into his head however. He could still feel her influence, the "shielding" she called it, like a pebble in his shoe. Small, yet intrusive. Barely noticeable one moment, and then a splinter in his heel the next. And it reeked of the light. That had been the hardest part. He had feared that filling his mind with light would weaken him somehow, make him less potent. But that hadn't happened. In fact, when the initial burst of light energy had hit him, he had felt a moment of painful ecstasy. For those first few terrifying seconds, he had been helpless and paralyzed. And then his spirit had soared.

The light felt sterile and bright to him, filled not with the hot intensity that drove the dark side, but with a kind of cold, sharp clarity. The dark side was like being covered in a veil of shadow and flame. The light was like a dip in an icy, calm lake.

Still, he was glad for it. He had feared trickery, of course. But Master Kaia had reciprocated in that brief, intimate exchange, and he had been satisfied with her intentions. Before beginning, she had dropped her defenses and let him read her mind and emotions. Her self-righteousness and blind, rigid determination was distasteful to him, but she had wanted to help him. No doubt she attributed it to the usual altruistic motives that all Jedi preached, but Scourge knew better. It was clear that she hoped to draw him into the light.

No matter. He had received far more out of the bargain. His mind was now whole.

And now, what was left? He was still immortal, apparently. He wondered how long he could keep this secret from Tali. She hadn't noticed his healing rate after the sandstorm on Tatooine, perhaps because his prime injuries had been internal and impossible for her to measure. But it was only a matter of time before she saw him survive a mortal wound. And then she would know.

What did it matter? Why did this bother him so?

Scourge had never felt more a part of something, more normal, than he did as a part of Tali's crew. He had a purpose again, and would now be able to go with her in her inevitable confrontation with the Dread Masters. But someday that would all fade away. Time would pass, Tali and her crew would retire, and then he would be cast adrift once more.

Perhaps he should warn her.

No, he decided. The realization of their failed ritual pained him, but likely it would not hold the same meaning to her. She would be disappointed that his cure wasn't complete, but she would not be able to comprehend the weight of the centuries he already carried upon his back. The weight of those yet to come.

There are some things that must be borne in solitude.

00o00

Balmorra had been won by the Republic, but small skirmishes still broke out in isolated pockets, and the recent war was evident everywhere they traveled. They had to pass through no less than five military barricades as they made their way towards the location of the latest buried Seed. Tali had to call in a few favors in order to get them clearance to enter the area, and even then the commanding officer was reluctant to offer them anything but the barest assistance. The troops there were aware of the Seed, and had restricted the zone to all but the highest personnel. It was too dangerous, Tali was told, and quite a few troops had been lost to the madness there, killed by turning on each other. They were grateful for her presence, but could grant her no guides into the area.

She and Scourge were on their own.

It was the first time, since Taris, that Tali had taken Scourge on one of their treks to find a Seed. Scourge had told her how he had held a Seed in his hand in front of the Jedi Kaia, and that he had suffered no ill effects from it. Truly then he was cured. Tali had told him as much, but Scourge had just shrugged. "Mostly," he replied. She wondered what that meant. Was there something else that he was hiding from her?

It had been almost a week since their visit to Tython, but still Tali was reeling from Kaia's revelation about Scourge. So many times she had pushed aside any evidence of his feelings, convincing herself that Sith were not capable of the trust and compassion that a true relationship entailed. She had told herself that his interest in her was physical only, and that she was no more than a conquest to him. As a consequence, she had frozen her heart and pushed aside all feelings, certain that any attachment to him was destined to end in pain.

Everything the Council had feared was coming to pass, Tali realized. Kaia had said that the Force had drawn them together for a reason. Was this some kind of test? Tali had never felt more confused.

Tali stared at the setting sun and sighed aloud. It was summertime on Balmorra, and it was hot in the open air speeder. She was sticky. And cranky. And annoyed with all the time they had lost in getting here. They had been forced to take several detours along the way, and still their destination was not in sight.

"We're never going to make it by tonight," Tali muttered.

"No," Scourge said. He continued driving, then stole her a glance. "We will have to camp for the night. We can retrieve the Seed when the sun rises. No use trying to find it in the dark."

Tali scowled at the slowly moving horizon.

"What's the matter, Jedi? Not looking forward to spending the night with me?"

Tali wasn't in the mood for any of Scourge's teasing. She didn't know how to react anymore, for one thing, and now she wondered if there was any meaning behind his playful banter. When she didn't answer, Scourge just shrugged and looked away.

Gradually, Tali became aware that the sound of insects had ceased. They drove through barren fields and over desolate hilltops with only the grinding of the speeder's engine for company. They passed a few lone trees, twisted specimens that reminded Tali of withered corpses reaching out from the grave. At last Scourge killed the engine. An oppressive silence settled over them like a pall.

"Cheery place," Tali grumbled. She climbed out and began to unload their meager supplies.

"I think the Seed is beyond that ridge," Scourge said, pointing to the northwest. "There's some shelter over here by this tree."

The tree was an ugly old giant that grew in a lopsided tangle at the top of a small hill. Underneath the hillside, the roots emerged and coiled along the ground, creating a small canopy of sorts. Tali draped a tarp over them and crawled inside. It was passable for a make-shift shelter, but there was not enough room for the two of them.

She crawled back out and dusted herself off. "It's ok," she said. "Small though."

"We'll take turns," Scourge said. "I'll take the first watch."

They built a fire a short distance away and had a quick meal of canned noodles and gravy. The label said there was supposed to be meat in there too, but Tali only found one or two pieces of a chewy, rubbery substance, which she tossed into the fire. By then it was full dark.

Tali knew she had not been good company that day, and now that she had the time to contemplate, she began to feel remorse. She had acted angry towards Scourge and she wasn't sure why. I suppose that I just resent him for making my life more complicated, she decided.

But another voice spoke in her head. Why do you care so much about his feelings in the first place? Why should it matter if he's in love you?

It did matter. It mattered a lot.

The silence between them had been a comfortable one, but Tali realized that that could change if Scourge caught wind of her thoughts. She needed to change the subject.

"What made you decide to give Master Kaia's remedy a try? You seemed pretty against the idea initially."

Scourge glanced at her from underneath his eyebrows. "I changed my mind."

"Well, obviously." Tali tacked on a laugh to try and lighten the mood. "I'm glad you changed your mind. But something must have affected your decision."

Scourge looked down at his clasped hands. "I watched as she entered Suri's mind, and soon after, there was a look on that girl's face, like the weight of the galaxy lifting from her shoulders. She was coherent and calm, and yet I still felt the dark power in her pulsing away, untouched. She was healed, but nothing was taken from her."

Tali nodded, understanding. Scourge had always feared losing himself, had always been resistant to the thought of the Jedi trying to change him. It made sense.

"I judged it worth the risk," Scourge finished.

"I know it's been hard for you to have a limitation like that affecting our missions."

"Once," Scourge said, casting her a look, "I pledged myself to your side. Do you remember?"

"Of course I do," Tali said quietly.

"I couldn't fulfil my promise as long as the Seeds prevented me from accompanying you. But now I am here..." Scourge said this with a corresponding wave of his hand, "...and this is exactly where I belong. It-" the words stuck for a moment until a shake of Scourge's head dislodged them, "pained me to be separated from you."

Tali was surprised by the depth of Scourge's emotion. "I'm glad to have you with me again," she said. Kaia's words played in her head. Tread carefully, Tal'ilavi. For the light to take root in Scourge, it must be nurtured." Tali gave Scourge a smile.

Scourge nodded. "It is as it should be."

They spent a short time more conversing about inconsequential things, until Tali finally bid Scourge good night. She left the fire and crawled into the shelter.

Her sleep was fitful at best, however, and she was beset by unwelcome dreams filled with disturbing images. After a few hours of tossing in a sleep that gave no rest, Tali rolled onto her back and sighed. Her eyes slid open.

A huge shape was looming over her.

Tali bolted awake and threw her hands out. Her palms met with an immoveable, solid, something, hard as the earth itself. She squirmed, causing her to bump into yet another object by her side. And another. She was hemmed in.

Tree roots? Tali reached out again, and this time, she recognized the shaggy, fibrous feel of root bark. Just the tree, that's all. The creepiness of this place was getting to her.

But no, something still wasn't right. When she had crawled inside the shelter a few hours earlier, she had had enough headroom to sit up, but now the roots of the tree were a tangled web around her, much closer and more entwining than she remembered. The rapid growth of this tree was far from normal. Smaller roots were catching on her lekku like grubby, intrusive hands, and Tali thrust them aside. Her hand touched something then, something slimy and cold. Not a tree root. Tali let out a cry and scrambled out from underneath the shelter, tumbling at last into the dirt and the open air.

Sillhouetted against the dying fire, Tali saw Scourge leap to his feet. The red blade of his lightsaber came to life in his hand and he ran towards her. Tali practically slammed into him in her effort to put distance between herself and the tree.

"Get back!" she cried. "Get away from it!" She knew only too well what she had touched. It was greasy and metallic. Scourge grabbed hold of her, brandishing his lightsaber and looking back and forth between her and the tree.

"It's corrupted," Tali said. She knew her voice sounded breathless and too high pitched. She turned and pointed at the tree. The roots were covered in the cybernetic nodules called forth from the Seed.

She took deep breaths, trying to calm her pounding heart.

Scourge tugged her towards the fire. "Come into the light."

Tali followed him, trying to control a shiver. "I don't know how it grew so quickly-"

"Tali," Scourge said suddenly. His voice sounded strange and hollow. "Hold still a moment. There's something-"

Tali looked down at her arm. One of the hideous cybernetic nodules was welded to her skin, glistening in the firelight.

A fear so total took over her then, that Tali lost all sense of propriety or shame. She screamed and tore at it with her fingernails, her voice cracking as she yelled, "Get it off, get it off me!" That nodule, that horrific thing, had violated the integrity of her body, and Tali felt every inch of her skin crawling with disgust and dread.

"Tali! Tali!" Scourge gripped her by the shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Listen to me."

Tali's screams faded to choking gasps. "Get it...get it off…"

"You want me to pull it out? I can, but it will hurt."

"Do it! Just get it off me!"

Scourge nodded and his face hardened. For a moment, Tali felt his fingers grasping for purchase around the edge of her skin and then he braced her against him with his other arm.

He yanked, hard, and Tali felt a searing pain as a chunk of skin tore off. She screamed again, louder this time.

Scourge tossed the foul thing in the fire and then hurriedly tore off the end off his sleeve. He began to wrap it tightly around Tali's bleeding arm.

Tali slumped to the ground, feeling hot and sick. "It's gone, it's gone... right?"

"Let me check you over." Scourge drew her to her feet. Tali stood as still as she was able, although a trembling had overtaken her and she felt as thin and weak as a blade of grass. Scourge ran his hands over her, systematically and thoroughly, and Tali was vaguely aware of the thought that she never would have allowed such a thing only hours before.

Scourge knelt before her and ran his hands lastly up and down her legs.

Tali felt it as soon as his hand passed over her.

"Oh no, oh stars, oh please, not another…"

"Tali," Scourge said quietly. "There's one here on your thigh. It's big." He stood up and gripped her again by the shoulders. "I can't rip it out."

Fear swallowed her and for a moment Tali felt blind with terror. She tried to speak, but nothing but half-finished sentences stuttered out.

"We're getting out of here." Scourge picked her up. "And you need medical attention." He carried her to the speeder.

It was cool and dark there. Scourge sat her in the passenger seat and Tali closed her eyes.

"Shhhh," Scourge said from somewhere close. He was leaning over her. Tali realized she was still whimpering. "We will get the node out. We'll take you to a medic back on base, or to Doc if need be."

"Ok," Tali said. "Ok." Pull yourself together. Scourge is right. We will get this fixed.

Scourge stood and up and for a moment Tali looked up at the empty night sky. She could feel the nodule against her thigh, cold and wet. And hungry. She could swear that it was tightening its grip on her like a leech, burrowing deeper into her flesh. She glanced at the driver's seat but Scourge wasn't in it.

"Scourge!" she called. "Don't leave me."

She watched as he kicked out the fire and gathered their sleeping rolls. Then he returned and dumped them in the back. He slid into the seat next to her.

"I'm not going anywhere." He leaned close and gripped her under the chin. "You can do this, Tali. You are strong. Don't give in to the fear. You hear me?"

Tali swallowed and nodded.

"Good." Scourge hit the ignition and the engine tore to life. Moments later they were speeding across the plains.

Tali concentrated on breathing slowly and practicing mindfulness as her masters had taught her. I am alive. I am away from the Seed. She stared at the night sky and tried to focus on the here and now. Letting her thoughts wander would only allow the fear to take hold again. I am riding in the speeder. It is cool and dark. The wind is passing over my skin. I am safe for now.

She was starting to feel more like herself again when she felt a twinge coming from her thigh. Of course the nodule would be painful, that was to be expected, wasn't it? But the pain she felt was deep and internal, not just along her skin where it was attached. She imagined the nodule sending out roots that spread throughout her body, causing new eruptions elsewhere along her skin. Tali's fingers gripped the edge of the seat as she tried to force the image from her mind, but it only blossomed anew in even more hideous detail.

Scourge glanced over at her a few times, sensing the change in her.

"Fight it, Tali."

She nodded. "I will." I'll try.

"Give Doc a call. Tell him to meet us at the nearest outpost."

Tali was eager to have a job to do. She fished out her holocomm and punched in the frequency for her ship's medbay.

After a moment, Doc appeared, looking disheveled and groggy. "Tali…" He stifled a yawn and then his eyes widened. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Tali relayed him a summary of the night's events, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I'll be there," Doc said. "Don't you fret."

It was a three hour trip back to the nearest base. By the time they saw the lights of the outpost in the distance, Tali was starting to wonder if she was having hallucinations. She kept seeing faces in the shadows, and a few times she asked Scourge to repeat what he had just said, only for him look at her strangely and tell her that he hadn't been speaking.

Scourge pulled up in front of the medical tent. He leapt out of the speeder and marched towards the tent, bellowing into the darkness. "I need a medic! Now!"

The tent opened and Doc stepped out. "Hey there now. I'm here, I'm here." He paused to catch Tali's eye and shoot her a wink. "Medic requested. Medic delivered."

His usual joviality faded however, once Tali got inside and Doc had a better look at her. "I don't like the way she's becoming unresponsive. This is more than just a piece of metal stuck to her leg."

Tali started to tell him that she was present and heard him just fine, but suddenly his face twisted into a hideous grin and a long tongue snaked out, tasting the air before her face.

Tali skittered backwards across the table and reached for her lightsaber. Just as her fingers closed around the hilt, however, it was torn from her hand. Tali looked up to see Scourge with his hand outstretched, ready to catch her weapon as it flew toward him. Tali lunged at him. That obviously wasn't Scourge. Not with that horn coming out of his head and those blackened fingernails. She was vaguely aware of someone shouting for restraints.

The monsters held her down against the table while Tali fought with elbows and knees and teeth. Then, she felt a prick on her arm and everything faded into nothingness.

A/N: I forgot to mention last chapter how frustrated I was during Kira's quest when I couldn't find a way to save Suri. All options appear to result in her going back with the Sith or getting killed. (I assume she dies anyway...I was always afraid to go through with that conversation choice.) I wanted to see her healed back on Tython, and of course that also was a good opportunity for Scourge to have the same.

As for this chapter, I've always been creeped out by those cybernetic nodules on the twisted roots in the Dread Seed areas. I remember finding a tick on me as a child, or getting a burr caught in my hair, and that was enough to make me feel freaked out, so multiply that by ten and you get the nodules. Ick.

Thanks everyone for reading and for your reviews! I always appreciate the feedback.