Part Twenty-One: Kiss Me, Stupid

Katara hummed softly to herself as she made her preparations. Water pouch on her belt; check. Water held in a complex spiral around her waist and chest and cascading down her arms; check.

Steely determination to take Azula down and free her brother and Suki; double check.

She was hidden in what seemed to be an unused outbuilding on the sprawling grounds of the overly-ostentatious mansion hidden away in the middle of the forest. She was confident that Zuko and the others were hard on her heels, but wasn't going to wait for them before making her move. Suki and Sokka were being held in the main building, probably underground from what little she'd managed to overhear while skulking around the guard post.

The guards were either disgustingly lax or had been told to act as if they were. Probably the latter if this was the trap it seemed to be. Either way, she was confident she'd be able to slip inside the building without being seen, one person alone rather than the larger force they were surely expecting.

As soon as the shadows started to grow, the sun to set, she would make her move.

oOo

She would make her move as soon as she could. There was no way she was going to leave Sokka in the hands of that she-wolverine-pig any longer than she had to.

With that thought, Suki surreptitiously examined the hand mirror Sokka has slipped her before bravely marching off to the proverbial fate worse than death with Princess Nut-Job. She ground her teeth, forcing herself not to think about what might be happening right now. She had to focus on the fact that, as hoped, Sokka was once again free of their prison, with access to Azula.

And she, Suki, War Leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, had exactly one weapon to make use of. A mirror. Polished glass in a heavy bronze frame. She hefted it behind her back, just in case one of the guards decided to look in on her as they liked to randomly do. It was solid, heavy, good quality. Even once she broke the glass out she could still use the frame as a weapon, bringing her arsenal to two.

She turned and leaned her back against the wall so that her side was presented to the door. If anyone opened it, her body should hide what she was doing.

First, something to keep the glass from flying all over the place; the pillow from their pitiful excuse for a bed. She examined the broken-down cot with a clinical eye; the legs were rickety and splintery and could be broken off to use as cudgels if need be. Three weapons.

Suki raised her fist, gauging the amount of force she'd need to use to break the mirror without shattering it into useless shards. Then, taking a deep breath, she smashed it downward, hitting the flimsy pillow and the face-down mirror it covered.

She heard a satisfying "crack" that told her she'd achieved her goal, but waited a few minutes before removing the pillow, shaking it carefully and placing it behind her back to camouflage the use to which she'd put it. Then she turned the mirror over; good. Three large, jagged pieces of glass where there had once been a smooth oval. She smiled and prized the first piece loose, concealing it in her sleeve. The other two pieces she carefully wrapped in fabric torn from her under tunic and tucked into the small pouch hidden by her left hip. The bronze frame she pressed into the waistband of her trousers at the small of her back. The hook used to hang it up on a wall settled easily onto her belt.

Ah, her belt. A fourth weapon. She debated loosening it or even removing it, then decided against it. It was holding too many other items in place.

Including, most importantly, her trousers.

Once she had everything arranged to her satisfaction, she returned the pillow to the bed and took her place next to it, leaning one arm casually against the edge as she studied the legs for weaknesses. Breaking even one of them off would make a lot of noise, so she'd have to wait until she'd managed to incapacitate her guards before making a club. Of course, once she'd done that, she should have a real knife and sword to use, but it wouldn't hurt to be prepared.

She settled in to wait, stemming her impatience through years of practice. When the time was right, the warrior would strike.

oOo

Zuko was fuming, and it was all Katara's fault. He'd been riding an emotional landslide since she'd run off, up one minute, down the next, but all heading inexorably downhill.

Just as this mission seemed to be doing. One long, downhill slide to yet another confrontation with his sister. This time, he knew he had the upper hand both when it came to Fire Bending and general sanity, but still. It seemed like all he ever did was fight with his sister, and he was tired of it. All he wanted to do was make peace with the world, get the Fire Nation off of a war footing and into a healthy economy, marry Katara, and live happily ever after. Was that too much to ask?

"Is that too much to ask?" He asked the question aloud, instantly regretting it as he heard a disdainful snort from behind him.

"Whatever it is you're asking, I'm betting it is too much, Sparky." That was Toph, of course, ever ready to squash whatever grandiose dreams he might have with her practical nature. Maybe it was just her nature, but he suspected it was because she still resented the fact that he'd never gone on a life-altering journey with her, as she put it. "Lemme guess, you want world peace and happy-ever-after for you and Sugar Queen, am I right?"

"Get out of my head," Zuko snapped in response, a bit unnerved at how accurately Toph had read him.

"Gladly, it's not exactly my favorite place to be," she retorted. "But you need to get out of your head, too, if all you're doing is brooding. That's not exactly gonna help us get Sokka and Fan Girl back."

"I know. Believe me, I know," he replied glumly, dropping his chin into his hands and gazing unseeingly at the maps spread out on the table where he'd plopped his elbows.

Toph dropped into the chair opposite his and took up an identical pose. Show-off. "So. What's the plan?"

"Besides swooping in with our superior air power, hoping to catch them off-guard and fight our way into a fortified house to rescue Suki and Sokka?" Zuko shook his head. "I'm still stuck on our final strategy. Especially since we all know damn well we're waltzing into a trap."

"But you have a few ideas, right?" Toph asked. "I mean, we're not really just going to do all that swooping in and fighting our way through the guards, are we?"

Zuko wasn't surprised to hear the barely repressed excitement in Toph's voice as she asked the question. She was hoping that was exactly how they were going to do it, bloodthirsty little brat, he thought with a sudden burst of affection. "No, you know I'm not," he grumbled, but could tell by her grin that she already knew he wasn't upset with her. "I'm about to summon the generals and Aang so we can finalize our plans. Then you can get to stomping some butt once we're on the ground. And yes, your Earth Bending and especially your Metal Bending are a big part of my strategy."

Toph's grin widened as Zuko rose to his feet to make the call.

It was time to put his plans, however shaky, into words and from there into action.

He just hoped Katara hadn't gotten herself into trouble already.

oOo

Katara could hardly contain her glee. She'd been hiding in the undergrowth, wishing she could Water Bend the pesky insect life away from her bare arms and legs and neck when she heard the sound of voices nearby. She immediately dropped to the ground, making herself as flat and invisible as possible, but the voices stopped just far enough away for her to cautiously optimistic that they hadn't seen her.

It was a group of women, female servants, apparently out gathering berries. She heard one of them make a disparaging remark about how little "Her High and Mightiness" would appreciate their efforts to bring her fresh food, only to be hushed by another, more nervous sounding voice.

The point was, there were a lot of women outside gathering these berries, which Azula had apparently developed a sudden craving for. So it wasn't just the housemaids or the kitchen staff, it was every woman able to grab a basket and battle her way through the overgrowth to reach the berry patches scattered across the length and breadth of the immediate acreage. It was late in the season for them, so they were hard pressed to find enough to satisfy Azula's demands.

I guess the crazy hasn't been entirely cured, Katara thought as she waited for the women to leave. She felt a surge of anger at how callously Azula had killed Zhiana, when all the Mind Healer wanted to do was help, but tamped it down. Better to save that anger for when she was actually confronting the mad dog herself.

Once she was alone again, she squirmed out of concealment, brushing as much of the dirt and dead leaves from her as she could, the plan she'd formulated solidifying in her mind. Then she hurried off to see if the patch of berries she'd passed was still there. If it was, she would put her plan in motion and maybe, just maybe, get into the mansion without anyone noticing.

oOo

Aang heard the announcement calling Zuko's generals and admirals and his own self to a strategy meeting and cringed a bit. He was the worst strategist of the group, but he needed to be there. It had been nothing but crisis after crisis since Zuko's coronation, and he'd done a great job at handling everything.

Including Aang's own childish reaction to his upgraded relationship with Katara. He winced at the memory of lashing out and actually punching the Fire Lord, although it still gave him a sneaking sense of satisfaction knowing that he'd staggered the larger, older boy—no, no longer a boy, a man. Still, he was supposed to be bringing peace to the world, not punching out the leader of the Fire Nation—the one leader they'd had in over a hundred years who's goal was peace rather than war.

He knew Zuko didn't blame him for his reaction, that he felt guilty about how Aang had found out, but as Toph has pointed out over and over again, neither Sparky nor Sugar Queen (her names, not his), had planned anything or deliberately gone behind his back. In fact, they'd shown a great deal of restraint in not (again, her words not his) "immediately sucking face every chance they could get if they were as into each other as she, personally, could tell they were".

Crazy in love, was how Aang characterized it. And he knew they didn't mean to hurt him, but that's how he felt. Which was why he'd been so hesitant to bring Mai in once he had her, because she was the only other person who knew exactly how he felt, even if he would never have gone so far as to actually try and kill Zuko the way she had.

He shuddered at the thought. No, no matter how mixed up he felt about Zuko and Katara being together and (ugh!) eventually getting married, deep down inside he knew there was nothing he could do about it except either nurse a permanent grudge and lose two good friends, or try and find a way to let it go.

Either way, he realized as he heard the announcement calling for everyone to gather in Zuko's war room, he was wasting time on the past and might-have-beens instead of focusing on the current situation. He rose to his feet and sprinted down the hall to join the meeting. He might not be much of a strategist, but he was the Avatar, and that alone was worth him being there.

Besides, Katara was counting on him—er, on them all, to help her rescue her brother and Suki.

He wouldn't disappoint her.

oOo

Katara waited until the last of the women and girls straggled in from their berry-picking mission, then hurried up to add herself to the end of the line. She'd put together a clumsy basket of her own, just made of some lengths of leaves and grass, but strong enough to hold the handful of berries she'd plucked to finish off her disguise.

Aside from that, nothing else was necessary except that she kept her head bowed and eyes on her feet the way the others were. She'd been stunned to see that not only was the group made up of Fire Nation females, but Earth Kingdom and even a few Water Tribe girls. The Spirits didn't hand out lucky breaks like that very often, and she certainly wasn't going to spit in Their faces by ignoring this one.

She held her breath as she passed the first guard, but he barely even gave her glance, and when he did, it was to leer appreciatively at her breasts, bringing a flush to Katara's cheeks. How dare he! But then, she was nothing but a lowly serving woman, probably not much better than a slave, and to show her resentment would either bring punishment or recognition that she wasn't who she was pretending to be. So she simply averted her eyes and hurried past him, ignoring his wolfish whistle and the surreptitious pat her gave her rump in passing.

Ugh. She forced herself not to shudder and then she was safely inside. Well, safely was a relative term, of course, but still. She was past the first barrier. Now all she had to do was find Suki and Sokka, get them outside without anyone noticing or raising the alarm, and find a safe place to hide in the forest while they figured out where to go from there.

Because in all the planning Katara had done to get to this point, figuring out how to get safely back to the capital wasn't something she'd ever been able to manage to do.

Sometime Later

Sokka paced uneasily back and forth, casting longing glances at the nice, big, wide open windows the bedroom he'd been stuck in boasted. There were even vines growing near one of them, close to the long, metal drain that he deduced was use to sluice water from the roof into a barrel on the ground, two stories below him. He could be out those windows and deep in the forest if it wasn't for the fact that Suki was depending on him to get her out of this mess.

All he had to do was sleep with a crazy woman. And hope she kept her word when they were finished and let Suki go.

This was the best plan he could come up with, and he was supposed to be the strategic genius.

Joy.

The sound of the door opening made him start and spin around to face the opening. He could feel the sweat on his forehead and wiped it away with the back of his hand, but could do nothing about the sudden pounding of his heart and the panicked thoughts racing through his mind: Oh Spirits, oh Gods, I can't do this, I can't, and if I don't then Azula will give Suki to the guards and it'll be all my fault and how can that crazy woman expect me to be able to have sex with her with all this pressure and…

His thoughts stopped abruptly as he recognized the figure standing in the doorway, impossible though it was. "K-katara?" he stammered, moving closer.

She turned to look at him impatiently, pressing one finger to her lips in a shushing motion. Sokka clamped his mouth tightly shut, still not sure this was real. How could Katara have found them, how could she be here and not a prisoner? It was crazy, but then, maybe crazy was how you had to deal with a crazy woman. So maybe he was the crazy one now…

Before his thoughts could spin off toward panic again, Katara gestured him toward her, still scanning the hall as he hurried to join her.

"Where's Suki?" she whispered as he reached her side. She pulled the door shut behind them and took his hand as they headed for the end of the hall and the servant's staircase hidden behind a decorative tapestry. Night had fallen and most of the servants would be in bed, so it was a good choice.

Before Sokka could answer his sister's question, a voice came from behind that tapestry. "Right here." Then it was pushed aside and Suki stood right there in front of them, armed with a couple of wicked looking daggers and brandishing a sword.

Sokka barely restrained a whoop of joy as he rushed forward and pulled Suki into his arms. "How'd you get out?" he asked as she smiled up at him.

"Just kiss her, stupid, and ask questions later," Katara snapped. "We need to get out of here right now before Princess Crazy comes to and realizes you're missing."

Sokka gaped at Katara, then down at Suki, who merely widened her smile before pulling his head down for a brief kiss. "Your sister's right, we need to get out of here," she said, all business as she handed Sokka the sword and raised an eyebrow inquisitively and jerking her head at one of her many daggers.

Katara shook her head and hefted the bulging water skin that hung by her side. "Let's go," she said briefly, and they made their stealthy way down the stairs Suki had just climbed while in search of her missing boyfriend.

A/N: Sorry, I know it's taken me a long time but we all get writer's block and sometimes it's more of the Hoover Dam than a beaver dam, if you know what I mean. Fortunately I know where I'm going from here on in, although it may take me a few more chapters than I originally estimated. If you like, please remember to leave a review...and if you do, I might be persuaded to offer up a preview of my next Zutara story (yes, I've resorted to bribery). :)